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Right now where I'm writing this I'm watching you sleep, my heart is beating heavily and I just have to get a few things out. It's 3 am in the morning, the moon shines through the window right onto your beautiful lovely face while you're snuggled into my side and I love you so freaking much. I never want my eyes to stop reveling in your beauty, you're just so surreal, my angel. I will never comprehend how you're real because dreams this perfect don't exist on earth but you do and you're mine.

You know that I'm bad with words, I don't talk a lot and when I do I don't know how to express myself or don't get to the point. But you understand me, you know what I feel without me having spoken it out loud and that's just one of the infinite things that I love about you.

You know the love I feel for you makes my heart spill words it can only spill for you. You make me feel things I never thought I'd be lucky enough to feel, I never thought I could be so ing in love with someone like I am with you, that someone could possess such an inexplicable effect on me.

Sometimes when I look at you it just hits me how much you mean to me and how I never want to lose you. You get me so emotional, you do things to me nobody else does. You're special, the most important thing in my life and I feel like I don't show that enough, you deserve the world, no the whole uniserve and because it's so hard to speak all this out in front of you since your eyes distract me too much and also because I really need to share my thoughts right now, I am writing this. 

I feel like I'm drowning in my feelings for you, my love for you is so huge, endlessly, and it makes me feel lost. I honestly have no ing words to describe the way you make me feel, I have lost all the ability to even try and encompass what this feels like through futile words. 

Park Jinyoung, you are, by far the most absolutely stunning, breathtaking, beautiful, ing perfect thing I have ever been so goddamn lucky to find; so goddamn lucky to call mine and love everyday. I will never not for one second be able to comprehend how, how I, am the one that life chose for you, how I am the one to experience every layer of who you are. I don't understand how I deserve someone who loves me in the way that you do, someone who is just so ing mesmerizing in every little form. In these 35 months and 16 days we got to spend together as a couple, I have gotten to see so many parts of you no other has seen before, and even though you hate so many of those parts and you want them to go away, I promise you that I will love them unconditionally every ing hour of every day, from the most frustrating days to the happiest. I will never not love who you are, because those parts don't make you a bad person, you could never be anything less than beautiful.

In these past 35 months and 16 days, I spent around 25550 hours glued to your side, we did everything together, we were only away from each other for around a week if you add up little moments, but those 25382 other hours our skin was always touching, if it weren't our lips it were our hands, if it wasn't that it were our feet as we cuddled in bed. 

25382 hours to be with one other person is crazy, even if it's with the love of your life there's no way you won't get annoyed or frustrated with the other person at least once; and even though I hate it when you steal my food or force me to eat vegetables instead of fries, although you're not comfortable with my old childhood friends and get angry at me when I tease you and do too much skinship with you on stage (we both know you will get even more angry if I do the skinship with the other members instead), although you snap at me when I don't take enough care of me while practice and when I backhug you while you're cooking, and through the little arguments we occasonially have, I wouldn't change one thing. I wouldn't change any of your characteristics and kinks because I realized one thing, one thing I already knew, but that I now feel even deeper if possible. 

Even through all that I am still the luckiest guy in the world, I am still the happiest guy living because I experience all that sides of you, good and bad. Because you're the one I experience all those moments with, and I wouldn't want to experience them with anyone else.

I don't want useless, insignificant arguments about how the baby names I choose are dumb with anyone else on the stretch of this universe; I don't want anyone else to ignore me for days when I post a pool pic they are shirtless on; I don't want anyone else to growl at me after I fell during practice because I didn't wear shoes; I don't want anyone else to tell me the whole plot of a complicated book that I'm not interested in (I still listened to it because it was you); I don't want anyone else to giggle into my shoulder and breathlessly fall to the ground from laughing to hard; I don't want anyone elses beard stubbles to scratch me while kissing; I don't want anyone who isn't you to live my life with.

To say you are my everything is an understatement because I can't describe how much more you mean to me than even that. I'm in love with every tiny fragment your being holds, I'm in love with the evenings when you read me to sleep, I'm in love with the days we have off and just lay in bed to cuddle and make love while the others are away, I'm in love with waking up next to you, our legs tangled together and your head on my chest, I'm in love with feeling your soft breath against my skin, our bodies on each other, pressed closer as if they melted into one, I'm in love with staring at you and listening to your soothing voice, I'm in love with feeling the softness of your hand, the sound of your whispers in my ear,  feeling your warmth on my chest, listening to your adorable groans, I'm in love with how amazing your lips feel and how I get lost in your eyes so easily, I'm in love with how you moan into my ear and teasingly grab my crotch next t