Falling in love with you

Jung Hana wasn't in a particularly good mood lately and that didn't go unseen from Hyosung's eyes. She was the leader of the group, and well, the other's best friend after all. At first she didn't think of it much, but her constant bad mood was slowly starting to bring the whole group down and Hyosung didn't like that at all. She was already stressed enough with preparing for a new comeback and she really didn't want to fight with Hana. However, something would have to change since they really couldn’t go on pretending that everything was okay.

The thing that Hyosung realised was that she was the reason behind Hana’s bad mood. The younger one would act completely relaxed and normal around Jieun and Sunhwa, but would completely change if she came close to them. At first, it started with dirty looks from the other, but now it seemed that Hana disliked her to that extend that she decided to ignore her. If there wasn’t any necessity for them to be spending time together, then Hana would walk away, which hurt Hyosung’s feelings. The four of them used to be so close together, like sisters… but now it seemed as if things were slowly crumbling apart and Hyosung kind of blamed herself for that. She was the leader, so of course she should’ve handled things better!

But how do you have a normal conversation with a person that is constantly avoiding you? Hyosung tried asking the other two members, which seemed to know why Hana was acting the way she was, but they didn’t tell Hyosung what she had told them. That made Hyosung feel even worse, it seemed like Hana really didn’t trust her anymore, because in the good, old times, they would always share everything; they really were like sisters once. Hyosung’s feelings ran much deeper for Hana, than just a normal friend and a sister, but she tried her best to hold back those romantic feelings for a fellow member. It wouldn’t be professional if she would let it show.

At the moment, Hyosung was laying on her bed and was trying her best to read a book, but she couldn’t really concentrate on that. Annoyed, she closed the book with a loud slam and threw it onto the bed, burying her face into the pillow and squeezed it hard against her chest, sighing. She pouted and looked at her phone, checking the time. She was really bored and wanted to hang out with either Jieun or Sunhwa, but when she was struck with the realisation that the other two members had schedules for that day, her bad mood even worsened and she let out a quiet groan. Hana was free, but there was no point in trying to hang out with the other. Plus, Hyosung was almost 100% that she wasn’t even in the dorms.

She got onto her legs and dragged her body out of her bedroom, walking into the kitchen. She was almost shocked when she saw Hana in the living room and she pressed her lips, not knowing what to do. Part of her wanted to walk over the other, but the other one was telling her not to do it. In the end, Hyosung walked into the living room and sat down next to Hana.

“I’m bored,” announced the older one and leaned back against the couch. “You don’t have schedules today, right? We could go or do something together. What do you say?” she asked, trying to pretend that months of avoidance never happened, hoping that it would work.

Hana, who was too busy with watching TV, didn’t see Hyosung walking towards her and she almost jumped when the other one sat down beside her and started speaking. Her eyes widened and she almost automatically jumped up onto her legs, in attempt to run away from the situation. “Ah, sorry, Hyosung,” said Hana. “I really don’t have the time right now. I was just planning on going out with my friends and-”

“Now I don’t qualify as you friend anymore?” asked Hyosung bitterly, Hana’s cold words cutting like a blade into her heart. She really tried her best not to show how hurt she actually was, but it was practically impossible. Having romantic feelings for her or not, hearing something like that from someone that meant so much to her, hurt. “Well, then, have fun with your friends.”

Hana’s eyes widened when she heard the coldness of Hyosung’s voice and she stopped, slowly turning back. “N-no, I didn’t mean it like that,” muttered the younger one and looked down.

“No, you made it pretty clear through these past few months,” said Hyosung and looked up, hurt reflecting in her eyes and she couldn’t stop her words, she held back for far too long. Having to hide her feelings from Hana hurt her in the past, but at least they were best friends and she was satisfied with knowing that Hana cared for her, even though it wasn’t in the way that she hoped. But now, things were different and it hurt like hell.

“Hyosung,” started Hana, but stopped and looked away… too hurt to look Hyosung into her eyes. She knew that she must’ve hurt her friend, but she had a good reason for acting the way she did towards her. She was able to tell her reasons to Sunhwa and Jieun, but was sure that Hyosung would end up hating her if she told her what was holding her back.

“There it is,” said Hyosung, crushed to see that Hana wouldn’t even look at her. “You can’t even look at me properly anymore,” she said with a small voice and got onto her legs, shaking her head slowly. “Never mind, go, have fun. Don’t let me stop you.”

Hana firmed loose fists with her hands and sighed, trying to stop her racing heart as Hyosung walked past her. She pushed her lips tightly together, feeling that if she wouldn’t say something at that right moment, then their friendship would be ruined forever. Just as Hyosung was ready to leave the room, Hana quickly grabbed her wrist and stopped her from leaving. She really didn’t know what to say, but that needed to be done. She needed to let the older one know that she didn’t hate her; that they were still friends. God, that words seemed so absurd to Hana.

“I don’t hate you,” said Hana and looked at Hyosung, who was quite surprised by the younger one’s reaction. “It’s just… complicated.”

Hyosung’s facial expression softened up as soon as she saw the troubled expression on Hana’s face and she nodded, sending her an encouraging smile. She was glad that Hana said that, that kind of gave her hope that their friendship wasn’t completely broken. “I know, things can get really complicated some times,” said the leader. “You know, I worry about you a lot,” she said. “And it really made me worried when you started suddenly avoiding me. If there is something that I did to offend you in the past, I apologise.”

Hana’s heart melted when she heard the apology and shook her heart, Hyosung really was too kind for her own good. She didn’t do anything. It was all Hana’s fault for what had happened and now it was the perfect time to make things right. She was determined to let the other know what was going on with her and could only hope that Hyosung wouldn’t come to hate her. Truth to be told, she didn’t know how she would cope if Hyosung hated her.

“You did nothing wrong,” muttered Hana and sighed, walking back to the couch. She then sat down and waited for Hyosung to come and sit down next to her. “It is all my fault,” said Hana and bit her lower lip.

Hyosung felt kind of relieved, but heartbroken at the same time. She didn’t want Hana to blame herself for whatever had happened. She placed her hand on top of Hana’s leg, giving her a warm smile. “I’m quite sure that it isn’t your fault.”

“Oh I am quite sure it is,” said Hana under her breath and gasped when Hyosung’s warm hand came in contact with her leg, allowing herself to close her eyes for a few moments. She could feel her heart beating hard against her ribcage, from nervousness and something else. “The thing is,” she started slowly. “If I let you know why I avoided you so much, then our relationship is going to change… drastically,” said Hana, nervously twiddling her fingers in her lap. “You might even end up hating me.”

“I could never hate you,” said Hyosung, now placing her hand on top of Hana’s shaking fingers. It killed her to see the other struggle so much. “You can tell me everything, nothing’s going to change our relationship.”

“I don’t know-”

“Don’t you trust me?” asked Hyosung, a glint of disappointment and hurt was noticed in her tone of voice.

“Of course I do.”

“Then what’s stopping you, Hana?”

“Look, Hyosung… for you, I-” she started, but stopped against and looked down, shaking her head. Hana closed her eyes tightly when Hyosung gently squeezed one of her hands, trying to tell her racing heart to calm down, but it was useless. “There’s something I kept from you,” she finally said and looked up once again.

Hyosung let out a hitched breath when Hana looked up, not really knowing when she came so close to her. She could feel Hana’s hot breath on her left cheek and she had to force herself not to stare. However, the way that Hana’s eyes were closing and leaning closer in, wasn’t helping at all. What the hell was Hana doing? It looked like she was leaning in for a kiss, but Hyosung tried to ration things. It was just her wishful thinking, that had to be it and- Hyosung suddenly stopped thinking and she closed her eyes tightly, waiting for the kiss to happen.

Hana felt helpless, she didn’t know how to tell her fellow member that she had fallen in love with her. Idols falling in love with their fellow members… such a terrible idea. Not to mention that they were both women. There was no way that Hyosung would accept her feelings. However, something stopped her train of thought when she looked up, staring into Hyosung’s eyes and she was sure that her chest was about to burst. An invisible force was dragging her closer to the older one, her eyes closing on their own. To her surprise Hyosung didn’t move away as she leaned even closer, but she looked quite shocked. Searching her eyes to find a disgust, but she only found love and Hana’s heart fluttered with happiness. She almost smiled when Hyosung tightly closed her eyes, dragging her teeth over her lower lip.

“I fell in love with you,” whispered Hana, before gently cupping Hyosung’s face and pressing her lips over Hyosung’s soft ones.

Hyosung took in a deep breath after feeling Hana’s lips against her own, gripping the edges of her skirt and her body stiffened up, but then she melted right into their another kiss, her heart beating like crazy against her chest and she was sure that she would die of happiness at that right spot. Hearing Hana say that made her the happiest person on the world and just as Hana was about to pull back, she leaned closer again, slowly placed her hand behind Hana’s neck and kissed her again. The younger one smiled into their kiss, her hands going around Hyosung’s waist as they shared another kiss. She chuckled when she felt Hyosung playing with her long hair, giving her one final kiss before she pulled away.

“I love you too,” whispered Hyosung after a while, light pink blush dusted over her cheeks and when she looked at Hana, she realised that she wasn’t the only one blushing.

“Since when?”

“Honestly, I don’t remember,” admitted Hyosung. “It feels like forever.”

“I realised it a few months ago,” said Hana and looked down. “I tried to push those feelings away, because I was sure you’d hate me if you ever found out. I thought that avoiding you would help, but it didn’t. It just made things worse. Not only that it for me, but I also hurt you with that. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” said Hyosung with a smile and shrugged. “I’m just glad that you finally told me.”

“I would have never thought that you’d-” said Hana, but then stopped talking, smile on her face remaining. “I’m so happy.”

“Come here,” said Hyosung with a chuckle and pulled the other closer, locking their lips into another kiss

The two of them were too busy to notice that the entrance door had opened and the other two members, Jieun and Sunhwa, had returned back home from a long day. A huge smile came onto Sunhwa’s face when she saw Hyosung and Hana, tapping Jieun’s shoulder and then she pointed onto the other two.

“Finally,” whispered Jieun, making Sunhwa giggle at the process.

“We should let them be,” whispered the other and they quietly made their way into Jieun’s room, not wanting to disturb Hana and Hyosung. The two of them knew it far too well what was going on between them for months and were just happy that they sorted things out.

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END

I really hope you liked the fanfiction. To tell you the truth, I’ve been writing fanfiction for about 10 years now and in my 10 year “career” I have only written three girl x girl fanfictions (this is the third one) and this one is the only one that has a happy ending xD. I write only fanfiction, but I hope that this was good and that it wasn’t too awkward/ bad written.

Secret is my favourite girl group and I’ve been wanting to write a fanfic like this for some time now, but somehow never got to writing it. (Also, I wish that Secret would finally have a comeback TT__TT)

Fun fact, I have never written a fanfiction that has a straight couple as a main couple (?)