“When you realize that you’re not as important to someone as you thought you are, just keep your mouth shut and act like you don’t care.” -rinntakumi

“Hey Jongup!” Daehyun closed the door of their practice room as he called his fellow band member that was passing by in a hurry. The addressed male must have been from the changing room located on the left wing of the building.

Jongup halted his steps and turned around but said nothing. He just waited for his hyung with a blank expression on his face while Daehyun jogged to catch up to him. They were in the hallway inside the TS building. The group just finished practicing for their new choreography and is on the way to their dorm to rest.

 “Where is Youngjae?” Daehyun asked the younger as he stopped right beside him. But he didn’t wait for a reply and continued his inquiry when he saw the unusual expression of his dongsaeng. “ Wait. Why look so sour?” He lightly tapped Jongup’s left shoulder and walked past him. Jongup followed and answered, “Youngjae hyung is still inside talking with the manager.” He paused for a moment and then continued. “He took a photo of me when I was changing clothes.”

Daehyun didn’t bother to look behind him but he urged the younger to say more, “And?”

“And he wouldn’t delete it.” This time, Jongup was already walking beside his roommate hyung.

“Don’t worry about it too much. He’ll just use it to blackmail you sometimes.” Daehyun replied like it was the most natural thing to do. He almost added ‘I used to complain a lot about that too but I survived. In fact, I missed it.’ But he didn’t dare voice it out.

“That’s what I’m worried about.” Jongup softly muttered but it was loud enough for Daehyun to hear. Still, Daehyun pretended that he didn’t hear any of it and just rest his right arm around the younger’s shoulders and said to him, “How about I treat you to some ice cream before we get into the van?”

Jongup, being the simple minded guy character that he portrays he is, looked up at Daehyun and nodded eagerly.

All of them were already inside the van except Youngjae. And while waiting for him, the group had already settled themselves in comfortable positions so they could relax if even for a bit.

While other members occupy the back portion, Daehyun chose to sit right behind the driver so he could do whatever he wanted without being disturbed. He pulled out his phone from his pocket and put on his earphones. He then leaned on the window shield. And after settling on one of his favorite songs, he closed his eyes and let the music lull him to sleep. He’s tired and he’ll grab every opportunity to nap because lately, the longest time that he could sleep is about three hours and he needs his beauty rest above all else.

Daehyun’s right foot was already taking a step towards dreamland when he felt movements beside him. When he opened his eyes, he was greeted by a blurry Youngjae. The latter just arrived. “I’m sorry Daehyun. Did I wake you up?”

He rubbed his eyes to adjust before replying in a hoarse voice, “Um. It’s fine. But why are you sitting here? You said that you hate sitting here because the space is too small for you.” He yawned after saying this but he didn’t bother to cover his mouth. If he did the same thing three months ago, Youngjae would definitely cover it for him and say something like, ‘You look ugly’ jokingly. This time though, he only displayed a look of indifference and if Daehyun wasn’t mistaken, he saw Youngjae sneer in disgust before saying, “Ah. That. I was supposed to sit at the back with Jongup but,” Youngjae paused and looked over his left shoulder. Daehyun did the same, but lazily. “Jongup must have been very tired and I don’t want to disturb him.”

“Oh. Yeah. You’re right. Making the new choreography is really tough.” Daehyun agreed.

Youngjae settled himself back to facing the front and said, “He’s really admirable and adorable at the same time.” Then he smiled to himself and closed his eyes. Daehyun didn’t say anything and just went back to his interrupted sleep but not before he took a long good look at the sleeping profile of his supposed to be best friend.

“Hyung are you done with shower?” Jongup asked. He was lying on his stomach and his head was buried on the sheets, making his voice a few octaves lower than usual.

Daehyun continued to dry his hair with a towel while facing the full-length mirror beside his bed. “Yep.” Then he heard Jongup get up from his bed. Daehyun glanced at the alarm clock on his table and added, “You better hurry up or else Youngjae will occupy your bed. It’s about time he will come here and sleep on it.”

“I almost forgot. Thanks for reminding me hyung.” Jongup said as he dashed towards the bathroom.

Daehyun couldn’t help but admit that Jongup’s too adorable for his own good but he couldn’t explain why he gets easily irritated towards his dongsaeng sometimes. So easily irritated to the point that hearing Jongup talk in any way something close to aegyo, Daehyun wants to drown his self in complete silence so that he won’t have to hear any of it. He furrowed his brows at the thought. “What exactly is happening to you Daehyun?” he asked his reflection. Although he already has an idea for the answer to his question, he won’t admit it. He will not admit defeat. Especially when it’s against himself.

That night, Youngjae did end up sleeping in their room, in Jongup’s bed to be exact. At around three in the morning, Daehyun woke up and left. He didn’t need to be careful because all the other members were sleeping like a log and wouldn’t wake up even if a giant fried chicken would barge in. It had already been a month since he started to sneak out secretly every night when everyone else are sleeping so he knows by heart now how to escape without being discovered.

Sweating like crazy after their vocal practice, Youngjae sprawled his body on the cold floor. “Aaa. This feels so good.” He then turned his head to look for a familiar figure inside the practice room. When he found it, he shouted, “Jongup! Do you have extra water? I left mine at the dorm.”

“I don’t have an extra hyung.” Jongup replied as he rummaged through his bag for his own water. “Try asking Daehyun hyung. He always carries an extra bottle.”

Daehyun was about to enter the room and heard a little of their conversation and out of curiosity, he decided not to intrude right away and just waited for Youngjae’s reply.

Youngjae faked a laugh before saying, “I guess it’s better to thirst myself to death than to ask for his water Jongup. There’s no way of knowing if he’s infected or not. The guy’s been sneaking out every time all of the members are asleep. Only God knows where he goes. Hey. Don’t tell anyone about that. He didn’t tell on me when he caught me doing the same thing in the past after all.” Youngjae lowered his voice when he said this but Daehyun heard it all crystal clear.

Jongup just smiled and said, “Okay. I’ll keep that in mind.”

Daehyun took a deep breath before he made his presence get noticed. He pushed the slightly ajar door and despite what he just heard, he looked at Youngjae’s direction as he walked inside. “Youngjae ah. What are you doing there on the floor? There’s a sofa you know.” He then proceeded to his bag at the corner and pulled out his phone.

Shocked, Youngjae wasn’t able to respond right away so Jongup was the one who spoke. “Youngjae hyung forgot to bring his water.”

Daehyun raised his brows. “Oh really? He can have my extra bottle then”, he said acting as if he didn’t overhear their conversation from earlier. “It’s still sealed so rest assured, it’s clean.” Daehyun added nonchalantly while pretending that he’s busy with his phone when the truth is, he couldn’t even comprehend even a single word he’s reading there. His mind is filled with so many ‘whats’ and ‘whys’ he couldn’t start to think where to begin.

But instead of taking Daehyun’s offer, Youngjae got on his feet and wiped his hands on his sweat pants. “I guess we have had enough rest already. Let’s begin with practice again.” Then he turned to Daehyun with a more serious face. “Daehyun ah. You were late for our practice earlier and you excused yourself before our scheduled break. How about you put down your phone now so we can continue with practice?”

With blurry eyes, Daehyun once again took a deep breath and smiled. “Nae sunsaengnim. I’m sorry.” Then with great effort, he excitedly went to his position and said with a bright smile, “Shall we start now?” He should be the one nominated as best actor and not Leonardo Dicaprio, he thought as he grabbed the mic in front of him and started singing.

“Can’t stop, can’t stop, tteugeopge dallyeo, jonbu michil ttaekkaji.”

He sang his part with so much enthusiasm it would be hard to tell that his heart and soul are breaking from the inside. Shard after shard, they were slowly crumbling. And as the lyrics go, he would endure and run as far as he can till he goes crazy.

A/N: Alas. Please forgive this pitiful maiden. ..Instead of continuing DAEJAE adventures on other dimensions (stories), my rebellious fingers started to type this. So being the poor slave that I am, I just obeyed. Spare me, spare me please. (Just a side effect of eating ramen while watching kotetsojou no kabaneri. This will pass. Don’t worry mates. LOL)