It’s not entirely that they’re the ed up. It’s that they don’t work.

 

Kibum met Jinki at a party.

It was one of those ridiculous huge parties that are thrown by rich kids. It’s full of sloppy people and music thumping from wall to wall. Kibum didn’t want to go originally, it’s not that he doesn’t know how to party or how to hang out with the rich kids. Kibum comes from a well off family but by no means does he live in a mansion with seven of the same cars in different colors lined up in front of his house. He just didn't want to spend his last day with Jonghyun before he went off to study a semester abroad this way. He caved at Jonghyun’s puppy eyes and small pout as he kept begging him so of course he couldn’t say no.

 

He loses Jonghyun fairly quick which doesn’t surprise him. Jonghyun can be the life of the party, grabbing a beer and mixing well with people. He’s open to new people something Kibum laughs at because he likes meeting new people too but he has some reserve on who decides to talk to.

Kibum nearly jumps when someone sneaks up from behind him

“Someone like you doesn’t deserve to be standing all alone,” someone speaks beside him.

Kibum turns his head to eye where the voice was coming from. He’s a little shorter than Kibum but he’s built. His soft brown hair is pushed back and his eyes sparkled in the light. He was sporting a smile that could honestly come from the sun and that made his heart stop a little because no one should have that power. His legs were long and thick and honestly, he could probably do a lot of damage with them. Kibum noticed he had been staring for too long when he heard a soft cough.

“I’m fine,” Kibum says, nonchalantly.

“Want to dance?” the man asks, holding out his hand.

Kibum wants to say no but then the guy he smiles again and his eyes disappear when he does, and if he says no he knows damn well he'll beat himself up about it when he gets home that night. So he grabs his hand, he puts his drink on a near table and he lets himself be dragged to where there is a hoard of people bumping and grinding against each other.

“I didn’t quite catch you name,” he tells Kibum when they’re moving closely.

“I didn’t quite get your either,” Kibum tries to flirt.

“Jinki,” he smiles. “Lee Jinki.”

“Kim Kibum.”

“Pretty name,” Jinki clicks his tongue. “Suits you.”

 

They don’t dance the night away like stories would tell about people meeting up at a party. But they move to a room somewhere in the big house they’re in. They did although talk for hours. It felt weird to be able to talk to someone he had just met but it feels right. Something about Jinki drew Kibum in. He thinks it’s the smile or the way Jinki looks at him like he’s saying the most important things in the world, he can’t put his finger on it but it’s spent at ease.

 

 

Soon after Kibum begins to see Jinki more and more and he discovers that the one throwing the party was his. The huge mansion they were in is his parents and that makes him a little nervous because damn, is Jinki beyond rich. The ‘I can snap my finger and things will be bought in an instance’ kind of rich.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I didn’t think it was a big deal, is it?”

“No,” Kibum says. “But it would’ve been nice to know that I basically pulled away the host from his own party.”

“Oh no one cares about that stuff,” Jinki laughs. “It’s not like it was my birthday party, now that would’ve been frown upon.”

“Right,” Kibum rolls his eyes.

 

They become a thing, him and Jinki. They haven’t really defined it. Jinki likes him and he likes Jinki but they don’t say much more than that. Jinki will sometimes sneak up behind him when they’re together and put his arms around him, he'll rest his head on his shoulder and Kibum will let himself melt into the touch. Or times when Kibum will sit on Jinki’s lap as they watch T.V. he knows damn well he has more space on the couch but his favorite spot is on top of Jinki and Jinki doesn’t mind.

They share kisses. They hold each other’s hands. They spend day and night texting each other. It feels so nice. It feels like nothing he’s ever felt before and Kibum’s a little overwhelmed but he isn’t unwelcoming of the feeling either.

 

It’s also soon after that Kibum discovers he doesn’t quite fit in with Jinki’s friends. It makes him feel small sometimes and that's a hard thing to do because Kibum has a big personality. He doesn't like that when they go out to eat it's at the ridiculous expensive restaurants and Jinki ends up paying for him cause really as much as Kibum tries to eat the cheapest thing on the menu he can't afford it. Or how they constantly go on trips. They fly to Barcelona to catch the sun, they go to France to see the Eiffel Tower, they fly to Florida to swim with dolphins. Kibum doesn't go to any of them and he feels bad turning down Jinki's offer but he wouldn't feel right going if it wasn't from his own pocket.

As much as Kibum doesn't try to shrink at the stares he gets from some of Jinki's friends or the people he surrounds himself by he can't help but feel constantly judged. They make sure to look at him as if he's an intruder and as much as he tries to look like he belongs he doesn't and he never will. It’s hard not to notice the crude comments that are thrown his way. The ones that come from the girls that Jinki seems to be friends with. While they cover their hands over their mouths, they do a bad job at actually speaking quietly Kibum swears it’s so he does hear what they’re saying about him.

What does Jinki even see in him?

I swear he’s only into Jinki for the money.

He isn’t even that handsome, if it wasn’t for how he dresses he’d look like a freak.

I bet all those clothes are from Jinki.

It hurts him a little. Especially since everything he wears and own are because of him. He works hard for his clothes, he even designs a lot of them. But they don't need to know that, they shouldn't matter. It gets under his skin even if it shouldn’t. He doesn’t show it though. He hides behind a smile that he’s perfect all too well since he was little and kids used to poke fun at him. Kibum doesn’t let crude words win and he’s not going to let those girls get the best of him.

 

They get into arguments sometimes because they're so different. They're nothing alike. Arguments that can't be fixed with Kibum coming up behind Jinki and press kisses to his neck and they're soon under his covers, and calling out each other's name while they're grasping at white sheets and blacking out from the enjoyment caressing through their body. Arguments that can't be fixed by Jinki pouting his cute lips towards Kibum and asking for forgiveness. It's arguments that Jinki tries to fix with gifts, with his money and it makes Kibum feel dirty because he doesn't need his money he needs his words.

 

The first one they ever got into was the one where Jonghyun finally came back from studying abroad.

 

The moment Kibum found out that Jonghyun's flight was in, he rushed over at the airport and waited for him outside with his car. He forgot his stupid phone at home so he's hoping he got the right exit. Jonghyun finds him easily and they're both hugging the moment they see each other. Once Jonghyun climbs into the car he complains about the lack of leg room and Kibum only rolls his eyes. They go out to eat, even though Jonghyun feels a little jet-lagged he decides he needs food more than anything.

 

"It was amazing," Jonghyun practically gushes. "Boston is amazing. The people are kind of straight forward. It's so different."

"I'm glad you had fun," Kibum smiles, shoving a fry into his mouth. It is his cheat day after all, he deserves this.

"We need to go one day, Kibummie."

"We'll save up, deal?" 

"Deal."

 

When Kibum gets home from a fun day with his best friend he isn't expecting 24 missed calls, 20 unread text messages and he feels uneasy. What could have happened? Did someone die?

Jinki. Jinki. Jinki. Jinki. Jinki.

Kibum quickly presses the call button to call Jinki back. Please answer, he desperately thinks.

"Where have you been?"

Kibum feels confused cause wait what?  "Huh?"

"Where have you been, Kibum? We had plans."

"Oh my god," Kibum gasps, realizing he was supposed to meet Jinki earlier today. "I'm so sorry, I forgot. I totally forgot."

'And you couldn't have had your phone?" Jinki is practically yelling through the phone.

"It was an honest mistake, Jinki." Kibum bites back.

"You stood me up. You made me look ridiculous in front of my friends."

Kibum feels his heart race and anger build slowly. "Who cares about them?"

"I do. What was so important?"

"What the hell, Jinki?"

"So?"

"My friend came back from being abroad for a semester, you . I went to pick him up."

"Ki-"

Kibum doesn't give him a chance to respond, he presses ends and hides himself between his blankets. Who cares about his stupid friends, anyway?Kibum thinks.

 

He wakes up the next day to a person asking if he's Kim Kibum and handing over ten dozens of roses meant for him. He doesn't even need to ask who they're fun he only knows one person that would pour out so mich money for flowers. 

Enjoy them,

Love Jinki xo

 

Kibum knows Jinki doesn't listen to him. He knows he doesn't always pay attention to what he says but he really never imagined Jinki would trespass something he knows is important to him. 

He was so nervous about this interview. He nearly put his outfit on backward today because so much of his hard work led to this moment. Twelve year-old Kibum has been dreaming about this for years but it was all shattered too soon and it felt like he was grasping at straws to keep himself together.

 

“It was so nice meeting you, Kibum.”

“No,” Kibum shakes his head. “Thank you for meeting me. It’s such an honor to be considered.”

“Oh of course!” The lady who's been interviewing him smiles. “When Lee Jinki gave us a call about you, we just knew we had to. You know who his mother is? She’s such a genius. If her kid knew anyone remotely like his mother he had to be good and he was right.”

And Kibum does know who she is. Kibum nearly cried when he first meant Jinki's mom at a party. Fashion Editor in Cheif of Vogue Korea, the mastermind and fundamentals behind all things Vogue in Korea. 

“Excuse me? Lee Jinki?”

“You know him, right? He was talking about you?”

Kibum shakes his head but then nods. “No, it is me. I’m sorry. I just didn’t know he called on my behalf.”

“You should thank him,” she smiles. “A real delight that boy is.”

Kibum can feel his heart racing and his hands sweaty and before he says something stupid that he might regret. He stands up slowly and bows deeply. “Thank you so much for your time.”

“Oh, we’ll be in touch dear.”

  

Kibum jumps out of his car and when the door is open by one of the Lees'  nice maids Kibum quickly says he’s here to see Jinki before he climbs up dozens of steps to find him. When he doesn’t find him in his room he knows where else he could be and he finds him in the theater room he has in his home watching a movie with Minho.

“How could you?”

Jinki moves his eyes from the screen to his face before he gets up slowly and turns to Minho, “I’ll be right back.”

He grabs Kibum by the arms and pulls him to the hallway.

“Don’t manhandle me like that,” Kibum pushes his hand away.

“What’s going on?” Jinki asks, slightly annoyed.

“How could you?” 

“How could I what?”

“My interview, how could you sabotage me like that?” Kibum asks again.

“Sabotage?”

“You called, didn’t you?" Kibum points his index finger his way.  "You talked about me to them?”

“I knew I should’ve talked to someone else,” Jinki pinches the bridge of his nose.

“You’re not even going to try to deny it?”

“What good would that do?” Jinki asks. “You already know.”

“Why?” Kibum nearly screams. “Tell me why you had any right to do that!”

“I wanted to help you.”

“I don’t need your help, Jinki. I’ve told you time and time again that I don’t need it.”

“That’s stupid." Jinki scoffs. "If you know someone that can help you why don’t you get it?”

“You never listen, do you?” Kibum says, his voice cracking.

“Don’t be dramatic.”

“I’m not being dramatic. I’m tired Jinki. I’m tired of this. I’m tired of you doing this. I’m tired of you throwing your status at me like it’s nothing. I never faulted you for being the way you. I never fault you for your lifestyle. I never once made a big deal of how you handle certain thing or how you use your riches. But this I do fault you in because this is my future this is my career and I asked you not to do anything about but you did.”

“Why is it a problem that I helped you, they liked your stuff didn’t they?” he questions.

“That’s not the point.” Kibum states.

“Then what is?”

“That I won’t know if they liked it because of me or because it has the name Lee attached to it. I won’t know now that I get that interview or that shot at being considered because they thought I was remotely good. I won’t know that now because you didn’t give me a chance!”

“Kibum-“

“This is mine, Jinki.” He cut him off. “This is my life and my future. Fashion is all I want to do for the rest of my days and all I’m passionate about and you didn’t have to try to boost my career, okay?”

And it’s true. Fashion is his outlet. It’s his way to expresses himself. When Kibum was little he had a hard time because people would poke fun at his weight, or would tell him he’s pretty but not manly enough. Kids could be cruel and people didn’t know that sometimes word cut deeper than actions do. So Kibum turned to fashion, he hid the part of himself he didn’t like and after time he started to own them. He accepted his flaws through fashion because he learned how to style himself, he learned how to enhance himself in ways he didn’t know he could. He didn’t have to hide behind anything, he could display himself in a different light. Fashion has been everything to him and it’s all he wants to do. This was the biggest chance to know if the last couple years of his life. Everything led to this moment and Jinki doesn’t get it.

“I don’t get you sometimes.” Jinki sighs.

“That makes two of us.”

“Then maybe we shouldn’t see each other anymore if that’s how we feel.”

Kibum mouth gapes but he quickly clamps it shut, “That’s another problem. When you can’t fix things without your name or money you give up.”

Kibum can see the hurt in Jinki’s eyes but he refuses to take the words back. He refuses to let Jinki have the upper hand if this is how they’re ending.

“You should go.”

Kibum nods.

 

Jinki hasn’t moved in what’s been two weeks.

He keeps replaying his conversation with Kibum in his head over and over again and for the life of him. He can’t see why Kibum is so hurt. Why doesn’t he want his help? Jinki is pretty sure he loves Kibum. No, he knows he loves Kibum. He thinks he might be in love with him but he doesn’t know if he’s allowed to be. He’s so different than anyone he’s ever dated. He bites back at his words and he isn’t wowed at all his stupid gestures that he’s done to those he dated in the past. He’s a piece of work but he’s so real. He’s honest with Jinki. He makes him smile and he makes him laugh. He’s everything Jinki could want in someone. He’s hardworking, he’s blunt, he knows how to let loose, and he can stand on his own without having to hide behind anyone. He’s beautiful with his feline eyes, sharp cheeks, and pretty lips. He’s perfect but they don’t get each other sometimes and that’s what keeps them from being more than they are.

 

“Who died in here?”

Jinki turns to see a smiling Minho and a brooding Taemin following him right after. Minho sits at the head of his bed, while Taemin plops himself on the couch on the other end of his room and turn on his T.V.

“We haven’t seen you around, hyung.” Taemin says, his eyes not leaving the T.V. while he flips through the channel.

“I’ve been here,” Jinki doesn’t move from the end of his bed.

“We missed you at the country club. We’ve been talking about taking a trip to Swiss. Taemin wants to go skiing. You can invite Kibum.”

“I don’t think we’re seeing each other anymore,” Jinki doesn’t meet Minho’s eyes as he announces the news.

“Well I lost that bet,” Taemin says.

“What?”

“Taemin, will you shut it.” Minho whispers.

“No,” Jinki looks at Minho and then at Taemin. “What bet?”

‘We all bet how long you guys would be together? I said a week tops. I lost a long time ago.”

“And you Minho?” Jinki asks.

“He didn’t bet,” Taemin laughs. “He’s a bore.”

“That’s not why,” Minho rolls his eyes. “I don’t bet on people’s relationships and how long they’ll last. It’s not my place.”

“No, I’m pretty sure you’re just a bore.”

“Don’t you have some T.V. to watch?” Minho grabs a pillow from Jinki’s bed any throws it towards Taemin.

 

“I miss him.”

“What happened?’

“I called in a few favors to get him an interview and he got mad about it. That day we were watching movies and I went to go talk to Key we argued. I know I said nothing happened, it was a misunderstanding and it still feels that way but I said maybe we shouldn’t see each other anymore.”

Minho nods his way before opening his mouth. “Hyung, can I say something and you won’t get mad?”

“I won’t make any promises but go ahead," Jinki chuckles.

“Do you ever listen to Kibum?”

“Yeah.”

“But do you actually listen to him? Look Jinki-hyung, I know you want to make things better and easier for him but it’s not like that with him." Minho pauses. "Kibum’s different and I don’t know if you noticed that yet. He isn’t like your past girlfriends or boyfriend. He doesn’t expect things from you. He looks uncomfortable when you offer to pay for him or want to take him to expensive places. He just wants to be with you. He doesn’t ask you for gifts even though he probably knows you’d get him anything. He doesn’t care that you’re Lee Jinki because of name or how rich you are. He cares about you, just Jinki.”

“I don't know how to be just Jinki. I don't know what to do from here, Minho.”

“Listen to him,” Minho says, softly. “I come from a different point of view too, hyung. You know my mom doesn’t come from riches either. She was just like Kibum, well enough but not like how we are... like my dad is. I saw it first hand growing up how when they’d argue, he’d just shove gifts her way and never fixed the problems. They nearly divorced because of it. Learn to listen to him but actually listen. I know you to talk, you talk for hours but do you actually hear him?”

“He really is different isn’t he?” Jinki question, a small smile forming on his lips.

‘I may not know him well but he cares deeply for you. I could possibly say love.”

“I’ll try.”

“Go talk to him... but first shower," Minho wrinkles his nose.

Even Taemin lets out a cackle at that.

 

Kibum is slightly scared when he hears pounding on his door. It’s two in the morning and he honestly thinks he should call the cops. He drags himself out of bed and opens the door without bothering to check through his peephole, he nearly stumbles over when Jinki rushes into his house.

“I’ve been walking around since 1 am trying to come up but I couldn’t find the courage until now.”

‘Jink,” Kibum rubs his eyes. “It’s 2 am.”

“Please, hear me out. If you don’t like what I say, I’ll leave.”

Kibum looks at Jinki. Really looks at him and he can tell how tired and stressed he’s been. He grabs Jinki’s hand and he leads him to his kitchen. “Come on. I’ll make tea.”

“I’m sorry,” Jinki says when they reach the kitchen. “I’m sorry I don’t listen to you. I’m sorry I don’t know how to do what we do. This is all so different to me, Kibum. It’s scary.”

“I don’t mean to scare you.”

“Not you but what I feel for you,” Jinki looks down. “I don’t know how to be in a relationship. A real one. All my life I’ve dated people only care about what I am not who I am. You’re different and it’s scary but a good scary, a welcomed scary. I just.. I-“

Kibum takes the kettle off the stove and places to white tea cups in front of them. “Breathe.”

“I’m not used to not being needed, okay?” Jinki states. “Everyone I’ve ever dated needs something for me and part of me should feel used, but it makes me happy to be able to help people. I would only do it for status. It’s how the world I’m part of works. I couldn’t do that with you. I couldn’t throw my money around to make you happy. I couldn’t use my name to get you things. I’d upset you and I didn’t it at first because who wouldn’t want it easy? But I realized I had humiliated you and your hard work. Instead of telling you I know you’re going to get it, I made sure that you would without thinking of how’d that make you feel and I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. I forgave you already.”

‘I still need to say it.”

“I accept it, Jinki.” Kibum brings his hands from his own cup to cover Jinki’s hands, trying to stop them from shaking.

 

They sit in silence for a while. Jinki not quite meeting Kibum’s gaze but not avoiding it either.

 

“So where do we go from here?” Jinki asks.

“What do you want?”

“I want to continue seeing you."

“Okay," Kibum agrees.

“I want something more.”

“Jinki-“

‘No,” Jinki shakes his head. “I want you to be my official boyfriend. We act like we’re dating. We act like we’re together but we’ve never labeled ourselves.”

“You really want that?”

Jinki nods, pushing Kibum’s hands aside and letting his own pull Kibum closer. He lets out a soft breath before he rests his forehead onto Kibum and closes his eyes for a moment. Letting himself breathe in how nice Kibum smells. He leans in to capture Kibum’s lips, slowly giving him a small peck.

“I want us."

‘I want us too,” Kibum confesses.

“We’re still going to need some work aren’t we?” Jinki laughs.

“Let’s make a promise, yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Kibum smiles, “I promise to stop being offended so much when you try to help me,” Kibum boops Jinki’s nose. “A little help won’t hurt anyone. If you promise to hear me out a little when I express myself over certain things.”

“I promise.”

“Me too.”

“So is it official?" Jinki grins. "Are you my boyfriend?”

Kibum places a kiss onto Jinki’s lips once more.

“Does that answer your question?”