Ever have one of those times when you wake up in the middle of the night, sleepy as but your throat is dry as a desert and as rough as sandpaper, and you just stare at the ceiling in a dilemma? Well that's exactly what Lee Hongbin, 20, proud member of the idol group VIXX felt at 2:43 A.M (yes, he checked).

And after an eternity of rethinking his life choices, (two minutes of deciding whether to drink and have trouble sleeping as water will wake him up, or force himself to sleep feeling horrible, he decides to choose the former) he stands up. It's almost ridiculous how much thought he put to it, but he was Hongbin, the calm, rational one, he tended to overthink things.

He tiptoed to get outside (which was also ridiculous, because any other day-night- he wouldn't give a if he were to rouse anyone from sleep in his half-slumbering state, but he sees the others' relaxed expressions that he never really saw when they were awake (alive seemed more fit, he muses), so he was kind for once, and he was also feeling ridiculous anyway so he brushes off his caring gesture). He trudges through the dark living room and opens the white refrigerator that he had the same height with, basking for a bit in its cool freon before bringing out a pitcher. After he poured himself a glass, he opens the appliance once more and almost screams when the light inside of the refrigerator caught a sillhouette of something moving in their living room. Almost. Because instead of letting out a rather unmanly, gutteral screech, he slips on the water he managed to pour on the ground because of his former shock.

The shadow jolted when he heard the impact of Hongbin's bum kissing the floor with the flowerboy hissing in pain, and it whips his head(?) around towards him. "Hongbin hyung?"

Hongbin sighs in relief because it wasn't a monster or a sasaeng fan that was a pigment of his imagination from his dream that might've followed him in all his journey for water but it was just his cute dongsaeng, Hyuk, who was crouching down, knees to his chest and legs that go on forever wrapped by his arms, on the floor, in the middle of nowhere. A couch was literally two or three steps from the younger's position.

Whether he was too lazy to make it there or because of the fact he was sitting there, all lights off, made Hongbin confused and concerned.

So he closes the refrigerator and s around for the light switch to have a better view of whatever reason Sanghyuk was awake in the ungodly hours of the morning even if this was the only opportunity for them to sleep for a while. When the only the light to the kitchen turns on, he was halted to do the same for the living room's when he hears the command, the plead.

"Stop. Don't. Please." Hyuk's mellow voice breaks in that familiar way of sounding as if trying too hard to control one's tears and the younger clamps his mouth shut after failing in his attempts. Hongbin was awake now, very much.

The older cautiously goes closer to the trembling figure until he was beside him and he slowly crouches down to not panic him any further, facing Sanghyuk, not really facing because the younger has his face buried in his arms and knees. Hongbin reaches out to tug at one of the younger's arms.

"Hyukkie?" Hongbin tentatively starts. "Won't you tell me what's wrong?"

In all honesty, Hongbin was worried as all hell and he was trembling so bad to resist the urge to hug Sanghyuk and whisper him assurances but he knows it wasn't what the younger needs at that moment and so he stays put and nervously waits for the answer.

Which was a shake of the head. Much to Hongbin's disappointment.

"You know, Sanghyuk. I want to help so bad but I wouldn't know how until you tell me," he sees the boy curl to himself more when he used his real name and he felt bad for kind of pushing him, he feels horrible when someone forces him to say what's making him act differently, but Sanghyuk had been weird in the past few days, no wait, months, even. So he deemed it fit to use this forceful method to just make him let it out.

Another shake of the head. Hongbin's eyebrows meet.

"You can trust me, you know?" He coaxes, "I won't judge you or anything,"

Sanghyuk keeps still and Hongbin was scared that the boy might have actually died at that moment, looking pale, too pale that Hongbin could see him just fine in the not lit room until Hyuk lets out a shuddering breath that was something between trying to keep calm and holding back a sob.

"We're brothers, right? I trust you, Hyuk. Don't you trust me back?"

Silence.

"You aren't weak, Hyuk. Telling me won't make you weak."

Silence and Hongbin grows more desperate by the clock ticking in seconds.

"Why won't you tell me?" he begs and he was sure his voice quivered but Hyuk remains stubbornly silent.

"Did anyone do anything to you? Did I do something to you?" he prods.

He was surprised when Hyuk visibly panics and looks at him in surprise and.. disbelief? Hongbin was an overthinker but he wasn't good at reading expressions, "N-no!" the younger stutters.

"Then what is it?" He presses, relieved that he got something out of the other, even if it was only a denial and not what he really wanted to get, but hey, it was something, ignoring the snapping of his heart in half the moment he saw the state Sanghyuk's face was in. Complexion white, eyes red and very swollen, dried tear tracks on his cheeks, beautiful lips down into a bitter curve. Sanghyuk reminded Hongbin of that one time he did the actual same. Years ago, when all he was good for was his pretty face, but he knew better and moved on, accepting it and using it to his advantage. There were other people supporting him and his chest constricts at the fact that maybe Sanghyuk had none.

Because he looked so ing worse than what Hongbin saw at the mirror that said night.

"Just..." Hyuk continues to trail off as he unconsciously gnawed on his lips, adding to Hongbin's concern that it might bleed, and gradually hid his face in his arms once more.

Hongbin stared at Sanghyuk, a man of massive height, even towering his supposedly already long figure, and thick bones. But with the way he trembles and hugs himself, shoulders hunching as he wrapped his arms protectively over his body, Hongbin could only think Hyuk as vulnerable.

Hongbin never saw him in this state of despair and he never saw him looking so weak. Heck, Sanghyuk could throw all of them away all at the same time out the windows if only he wanted to. Hongbin never imagined Sanghyuk could look this way. And maybe that was why he didn't want the older to switch on the light to have a better view of his mess of himself.

. Hongbin curses, albeit out loud, and Sanghyuk flinches.

"I'll fix it myself, hyung." Hongbin's face scrunches up in more confusion. "I'll fix myself."

Hongbin felt his eyes burn and his fist clench at his sides, but he fights back his wave of emotions. It was supposed to be all Hyuk, now. He shouldn't cause any more horrible feelings for the younger.

Hongbin wanted to tell him that he couldn't fix anything because he was already perfect the way he was, obviously already so beautiful in all his faults, and whatever made him suffer like this wasn't just because of him and he deserves the world for god's sake.

"Just.." The younger whisphers softly, too softly, beating even Taekwoon's that the older has to lean forward to actually get the gust of it. Hongbin swallows the lump formed in his throat.

"Just?"

"C-can I cry on you?" Hyuk asks, afraid, but Hongbin immediately snaps open his arms to accomodate him.

Hyuk lunges at him and Hongbin hugs him with as much force as the younger grips the hem of hs shirt. Sanghyuk buried his face on his sturdy shoulder and ing finally, cried. Hongbin's hold on him went tighter and he wanted to scream, at the world, at everything, to ask them why did he have to see his beloved Sanghyuk in this miserable and hurting state.

Sanghyuk continued to bawl and soon enough, Hongbin could feel the dampness ruining his shirt but he gave no flying s even if it was branded (only god knows why he wore it to sleep), as his grip went loose and he brings his hand to carress the soft brown locks of the precious human being.

"You don't deserve this, Hyuk." He absentmindedly says as he soothingly cards his nails to the younger's hair and he sniffles, only then realizing that he was already tearing up as well. "You are too perfect to be sad."

He feels the younger claw desperately at his chest and howl harder than before. Hongbin pulls him in as close as the space within them deemed possible and kissed the mop of Sanghyuk's hair.

"Too perfect."