You just finished meeting your TA for an assignment when your phone suddenly rings, and the caller id showed 'Seungyoon' is the one who is trying to reach you. Both of you have been friends since you two were babies, growing up by the sea together, until you reach high school and your family moved to Seoul. Then a few months later Seungyoon joined an audition program and signed with YG as a trainee after that, which you claimed that he just cannot stay apart from you for too long and followed you to Seoul, he never actually denied it though makes it legit. The thought that he might be in love with you were immediately erased because he suddenly so eager to introduce you to his fellow trainee hyung, Lee Seunghoon who also came from Busan and joined an audition programs. Somehow his personality makes it easier for you to hang out with him despite the age differences, he was a realistic person sometimes even sarcastic but on the other hand he was really a funny and warm hearted person. One thing you like about him was that he actually know what he wants and he does not stop trying until he gets it. That's what drives him to finally confessed to you after years of hanging out.

There are no romantic dinner or prepared gifts it was just the two of you at the Han river, he came after the W.I.N announcement, still with his hair styled and decided to ditch s to celebrate with you.  His eyes were straight to the ramen he was eating and still with a full mouth he babbled, "I like you, a lot" you had a hard time processing his words that you just stare at him with confused look. He saw you and suddenly laugh. Slowly he put his ramen cup beside him and reached your hands. You could feel the electricity that jolts you the time he rubbed your hands trying to make it a little warmer, "I like you, a lot." he repeated his words louder and clearer, before you could even say anything, he continued while looking at your hands not brave enough to look you in the eyes "Seungyoon talked about you a lot, and you intrigued me. So i asked him to introduce me to you, and I really think you're beautiful, and i spent a lot of times with you and i just, fall for you i guess". You just stared at him, until you suddenly kissed him oh his cheek, you certainly didn't know what makes you do that, that was an impulsive act of stupidity but he seemed content on the kiss as you saw his cheeks lifted up showing his beautiful grin. Little that you know you answered by kissing him was because you too also slowly fell for him, you were aware of his squinted eyes when he laughs, his worried eyes whenever you got part time jobs at night shifts, his stare at you when he thought you weren't realizing.

The flashbacks are bringing you back to your phone which you forgot to answer, "what? i'm not in the mood to hear you nag please Seungyoon-ah" you scoffed a laugh as soon as those words escape your lips, he does tend to nag a lot whenever he contacted you, some days it's writers block, some days it's his friends slash members that don't care about his nags, these days about how he missed performing in front of his fans because of his long hiatus. You tried your best to console him everytime he does, but today you're just not in the mood.

"Winner was invited to Running Man" he stated, with no excitement whatsoever. You furrowed your brows, as far as you concerned all of them are really eager to meet Yoo Jaesuk, especially him, Minho and your boyfriend Seunghoon. "Wasn't that good? why are you being whiny?" you asked him. "The company only sent Minho and Taehyun, Somin. Hyung is disappointed, i think he needs you right now" your heart sank at the thought of it. You know how much Seunghoon has been wanting to be guested at variety shows, he wasn't chosen for Sugarman and it hurt him enough, he was hungry for it. "Are you ok? where is he?" you asked making sure your friend is ok before you meet your boyfriend "I'm okay, i think he's at the dorm with Jinwoo hyung today, go check on him will you? he's having thoughts, bad thoughts if you know what i mean" you sure get what he's talking about, Seunghoon always has this doubt for himself even though he didn't show it, but people can see right through it.

You drive your car to their dorm which you came to memorize because coming secretly to their dorm is the only way you could see your boyfriend without being pestered by public eyes. As soon as you arrive at the front door you ring the bell, and Jinwoo opened the door for you. "Somin-ah, good you're here, he has been locking himself up in his room for hours he hasn't eaten anything today and he even shoves Haute out" You can't believe this time Haute too is being ignored. “thank you oppa, I’ll try to lure him out don’t worry” you always have a soft spot for Jinwoo, he is just one delicate person to begin with and you can’t stand seeing his worried eyes over his brother like this. You went to the kitchen to find some food and you have to settle for some sausages you found, at least that will fill him up a bit. The steps to Seunghoon’s room was heavy as you heard loud music comes from behind his room, you know he’s doing something in there and that doesn’t involve resting if he needed music this loud. You knock on the door, once, then twice, still no answer. “Oppa…? You in there? It’s me” you give away your existence to him, and suddenly the music stops. You heard keys clicking and the door handle moving. The door opens and there it is your most lovable person you have ever known in your whole life, covered in sweat and disappointment that is transparent in your eyes, as you can always see right through him. You sigh and step in as he move to give you enough space to get through the door. You watch him close the door and you walk two steps towards him, reaching out your hand towards his face pushing some drenched bangs out of his forehead and caress his cheek, he just close his eyes leaning in to your touch as if it was his anchor to reality. He sigh moving his face closer to you, placing his forehead to yours then whisper “you heard from Seungyoon huh?”

“let’s eat first, hmm? I could hear those stomach growling even with all those loud noises” you try to make him shove something to his stomach but he just smiles at you with that tired eyes and move to sit at the corner of his bed.

“I’m never gonna be good enough, Jang Somin. Not for the company, not for my members, not even for you. And I hate myself for that” he say it while hiding his face at the palm of his hands, trying to hide the fact that he falters while saying those untrue words. You know he tried his best, for YG for Winner, and obviously for you, because when you are with him all you could feel is joy and blessing. Because you know he is one of the best thing in your life that you would never regret. You feel anger rising on your chest, you hate him for beating himself like that, on the other hand your heart is in pain just as much as his that all you wanted to do is to hug him and not letting him go.

“why don’t you just break up with me if you’re gonna keep saying that.” You answered coldly, letting the anger get to you and you regret it as soon as you see the hurt in his eyes, he stare at you like you are gonna leave him right here right now, the fear is real and you know that is not what he needs right now.

“Lee Seunghoon, I am sorry. Oppa, I know this is hard for you, but you need to stop beating yourself up like this” you step forward, kneeling right in front of him so you can meet his eyes. He keeps his eyelids closed refusing to listen to any of your words “I love you. So much, that it is frustrating to hear you say something like that. You are a blessing to me, and I am sure that all the rest of the members agree with me that you are one talent that they would not spare for anything in the world. We love you Lee Seunghoon. And if the company couldn’t see that, then screw them, you still have your whole life ahead of you, with us.” You explain to him while brushing your fingers against his closed eyelids. You wonder how much of his insecurities has taken over him that the brave Lee Seunghoon could crumple like this right in front of you, shaking and doubting himself. “Don’t you ever say something like that again. Please” you plead to him, cannot take seeing him at this state anymore.

He slowly opened his eyes, and you could see a glint of hope at his stare. “you sure you mean everything you said?” he asked you with tired voice, but now at least you could hear him instead of dead whispers. “yes I am. You are the best thing that has ever happen in my life, you and getting to know the rest of the members. We are family, and families support each other. Do you know how many times Seungyoon called me today? Taehyun and Minho oppa has been texting me asking did I met you yet, they feel terrible. And you know Jinwoo oppa. He wont leave this apartment until you get your out of this room and don’t forget Haute went ballistic out there wondering why was he thrown out of his bed by his own father.” You stifled a laugh.

Seunghoon stares at you for a while, watching how your smile is probably the brightest smile he ever encounter in his life, he felt your warmth on his hands that you held so close, and suddenly he feels like the world has already giving him everything he ever needed. Screw those stupid variety shows, he has you to make everything better just by showing up in his door, he has you that turns his ambitious workaholic life to a little bit of vacation, because whenever you were with him, he slows down his pace, he could finally breathe from all those rejection that suffocates him. He slowly cupped your face to his hand, one hand on your waist pulling you closer to him. Suddenly you can see all of the worries in his eyes subsided as he shows his perfect grin to you that lift up his cheekbones, then whisper to your ear “I think I save the world on my previous life, that is the only reason I got to call you mine.” And then he kissed you, along with “I love you” that he whispers in between of the kiss and you cant stop your eyes from closing as you feel butterflies in your stomach going crazy.