Today is the day that I’ve been waiting for so long. After much preparation, I finally get to show others what I am capable of, that I can do it even when I’m alone. The rehearsals are done and now I am sitting on the sofa in the waiting room. I wanted to be alone so I asked the staff to step out for a while. I was spacing out when I heard someone call my name. I returned back to reality and looked around. My heart skipped a beat. I thought I heard your voice. But I saw no sign of you and I sighed. Whether it was a sigh of disappointment or relief, I didn’t know. What reason do I have to be disappointed or relieved anyway? I am no longer part of your present and future. That is something that was apparent from ‘that’ day. Yet I couldn’t stop thinking of you.

        Your unique laughter was ringing in my ears. I could see you smiling at me as I closed my eyes. I could feel my tears streaming down my cheeks. No matter how long it has been, you still have an effect on me that I can’t quite grasp. I may be mad, angry, disappointed, hurt. But I couldn’t forget you. I couldn’t stop missing those times I’ve spent with you. I couldn’t stop myself from loving you. What did I do for these things to happen? I took a deep breath and tried to calm myself. ‘I can do this’, I told myself. But when I opened my eyes the tears that I’ve been trying to hold back broke free. And they continued to flow endlessly. Just seeing your reflection in the mirror broke me down. You slowly approached me as I started to sob. “Why are you doing this to me?” I asked. You didn’t answer me instead you sat beside me and pulled me into a hug. I didn’t know why I felt comfort and security when I was in your arms. I slowly started to calm down.

        I’d be lying if I said that I hated having you there. Your presence is something that I sincerely missed. But I didn’t want to show you this side of me. I wanted to let you see that I was strong enough to stand al