It starts from the sky; it’s a sky blue color with white fluffy clouds that aren’t the dull white he’s seen before, followed by trees as brown as humans eyes decorated with earthy green leaves, the grass that lays under it is a healthier green shade that would stain clothes if someone falls on it. Along with those things there is the water that is a dark blue, a sort of melancholy look- to make things simpler there’s a whole bunch of colors in the world.

Something Chanwoo is still just getting used to.

He’s been seeing color for the past two years, something he hasn’t told anyone, not his friends, not his own parents, not even his bandmates- especially not his bandmates.

They always looked at him sympathetically when one of them would accidentally comment on how beautiful a flower looked with its red, or purple, or yellow shades, or how the sun really was shining brightly around Seoul- something only those who had a soulmate could see, because color was only for those who found their other half. Or in their case, the six of each other.

But Chanwoo’s found his soulmate already, so those purple, or yellow, or red flowers are not unusual to him anymore, neither is the blue sky, or the sun that can literally blind those who looked straight into it, or the van that was full on black, or the blue melancholy color that belonged to water that had only looked white to him just a few years ago.

But that was the thing, his eyes had only just started seeing color two years ago- the day he met his bandmates and was since then linked with them. Before, way before, Chanwoo denied this outwardly, pretended that he hadn’t started seeing color the day he had met them, but now he has come to terms with it and has come to the conclusion that the six of them belonged to him just as much as he belonged to them.

The only downside was that they didn’t know, and he didn’t want them to know- long ago, when he had first met them, he had decided that it was best if he didn’t tell them because it would’ve only had been awkward. They didn’t share the same tears, or the same laughs, or the same memories- he couldn’t find the courage to tell them because he was different. In his eyes, their love wasn't meant to be shared with him.

The reason as to why he still lives with it after winning is simple- because the lie has been going on for too long and now Chanwoo can’t find a way out. So he continues to pretend that he can’t see the multiple colors that are on a rainbow, or how blue a blue jay truly is, or how brown his chocolate ice cream was- in the group’s eyes he couldn’t see the beauty of the world the way the six could.

Of course things can’t last forever and Chanwoo manages to slip because he's human and his secret of two years ends dramatically, because to the group and the fans, he can't see color- probably won't until a long time from now. But he suddenly comments on how great a hair color looks on one of his fans who came to complain to him that she had no idea how her hair looked but she decided to dye it anyway for fun.

Like that everything freezes, the kind amused smile tenses on his face and the fan in front of him only blinks owlishly, agape, as she lets out a small excited squeal that catches almost everyone’s attention “Omo, Chanwoo oppa- have you met your soulmate yet?!” Like that the whole venue goes into immediate chaos and fear grips Chanwoo’s heart- because he’s not supposed to see color, the world was supposed to be black and white, not red, blue, yellow, purple, or green.

Everything goes in a blur after that, his usual quiet searching eyes for different colors end with him sulking, refusing to even look to his right in fear of meeting Donghyuk’s eyes; who hasn't stopped staring at him since the unfortunate announcement. It gets even worse after that, the ride home tense and in silence no one daring to utter a word, except for their manager who simple pats him on the head and tells him that they would speak about it later in private.

But Chanwoo doesn't want to talk about it, doesn't want to acknowledge it except for the fact that he could see colors- he loved his bandmates, but he finds more joy in seeing the world in a different perspective than having actual soulmates. Then again, it's probably cause he always put himself in a corner, ever since they confessed about their bond he had drove himself away further- they were so different from each other. He was never there when they were the most broken, he probably would never be.
When they get to the dorm believe it or not everything gets much worse, their manager apologizes by saying he wasn't going to spend the night so they were on their own.

Chanwoo was on his own.

It was like he was living his nightmare especially when Yunhyeong took a seat on the couch and patted the side cushion while saying “Come sit down, let's have a talk” For the first time in a long time Chanwoo almost wishes he would magically go back to seeing only black and white again, just so he won't have to see the absolute betrayal in their eyes once he tells them that he was also one of their soulmates. They had all stressed about it, confessing to Chanwoo about their bond he meant, no one knew how to tell Chanwoo without it coming out wrong- so he knows that his fabricated lifestyle he made is going to be anything but appreciated and looked at kindly.

With a hard swallow he takes the seat next to Yunhyeong and glances at the cream colored floor, taking comfort in its swirls and patterns, trying not to think about the vicious thoughts in his head accusing him of things that are only justified. ‘You’re a liar and a coward, are you going to lie out of this one too?’ The thought punches him and clenches his teeth, suddenly very tired of everything. He wants to tell them, tell Yunhyeong that his hugs was something that brought him immediate comfort, tell Donghyuk that his kind, understanding smiles made his heart flutter, tell Junhoe that his discreet touches that eventually resulted into a tighter one brought him a way to keep himself grounded.

But most of all, tell Jiwon that his constant nagging and hovering made Chanwoo feel loved, tell Hanbin that his praises, his mere presence made Chanwoo feel as if he were floating- as if he were someone. And then he would tell Jinhwan that his sneaky kisses to his cheek or side is what made him feel a part of the group regardless of soulmates or not, fate or not.

So when Yunhyeong touched him on the shoulder gently he mustered the strength to look up and glance around the living room that was now filled with exhausted but a tentative group of boys, all of their attention focused solely on him. “Why don't you tell us when it started?” Jinhwan suggests, but there is something in his tone that alerts Chanwoo. He knew. But how long? Was that why Jinhwan always looked at him when he thought Chanwoo wasn't looking? Was that why Jinhwan would always murmur amongst just the two of them “You know you can tell me anything, right Chanwoo?”

A breath is up and the coarse of fear spikes, but so does the courage- the need to do this right, so he clenches and unclenches his hand before saying clearly “It started two years ago- me seeing color” The air in the room gets up and he watches all of them, Hanbin who was leaning forward suddenly leaning back as if struck while Yunhyeong released him. Donghyuk was nervously glancing around now more openly while Bobby narrowed his eyes, Junhoe just continued to stare with cold eyes and Jinhwan his lip before saying the words that haunted Chanwoo for so long “It started when you met us didn't it?”

Everyone jumped at that, their eyes focusing more intently on him while Jinhwan looked at him encouragingly despite a little bit of anger- Chanwoo’s always noticed that Jinhwan had the darkest eyes out of everyone, almost as if it were black. It's a inquiry he can't help at the moment, even when he confirms the thing that sets the dorm into chaos “Yeah”

Immediately Jiwon, Hanbin, and Junhoe stand up from their positions the chairs they had brought from the kitchen almost toppling over from their aggravated disbelief.

Donghyuk had simply put a hand on his face to cover it while shaking his head and Yunhyeong continued to stare at him, murmuring a quiet “How didn't I notice?” “He's a good actor Yunhyeong~ah” the words are from Jinhwan’s lips and he flinched back, the venom behind them making him feel even more guilty as he looked away from everyone to look at anything else. Anything.

What caught his attention was the moon that was shining brightly in the sky, not enough to light up the sky like the sun, but enough to make Chanwoo feel as if he wasn't alone. The moon always gave him strength because it reminded him of his own self, always alone in the darkness. “Chanwoo, look at me when I'm talking!” Hanbin suddenly appeared in his face grasping his chin hard. Chanwoo blinked and forced himself to remain still and not become nervous from everyone's hovering.

“Why did you lie?” Junhoe asked calmly despite the cold tone in his voice, Hanbin had yet to let go, so Chanwoo swallowed the saliva in his mouth that began to form and replied “ Because I didn't want you to hate me even more” The absolute honesty poured out of him before he could think and he moved back, trying not to acknowledge the look of hurt that passed by everyone's faces.

‘Selfish, you were selfish’ he thought humorlessly his eyes flickering back and forth from their lights in the room to their faces, eventually it was Donghyuk who calmed him “No, we could never hate you for this- Chanwoo, this wasn't something that could be stopped” Immediately Chanwoo shrugged his hands off his doubt coming in full force “But that was the problem hyungs! I didn't want you to like me just because I was your soulmate, that's why I didn't tell you at first”

“At first, that's the problem isn't it? Why didn't you tell us after, when we had confessed to you about the truth, why didn't you say anything?!” Jinhwan’s voice was turning shrill and Immediately everything made sense, Chanwoo had turned his back on Jinhwan unintentionally- Jinhwan was the most protective in the group, the mother hen, and yet he was also the most sensitive, he didn't want the three new trainees and yet he accepted Chanwoo. He let Chanwoo in, and now Chanwoo turned his back on him.

“Hyung” Bobby murmured while Junhoe took a step closer to lightly grab Jinhwan’s arm, throughout this exchange Chanwoo didn't look away from Jinhwan at all as he replied “I was afraid of what it meant to be soulmates, I was afraid of everyone…I was afraid of myself” This admittance wasn't easy and from the way Chanwoo’s heart continued to beat he almost wished he hadn't said it in the first place. The silence that lapsed in the room depressed Chanwoo further, though if there was some type of consultation no one punched him or kicked him out of the group.

“Hyung” This time it was Hanbin who was exhaling towards Jinhwan; the shortest male only shaking before he sat on the place Chanwoo had previously occupied and covered his face. “I can't even blame him, we were all afraid once” The rest of the group shifted at his words while Chanwoo looked at them all wide eyed, confused about Jinhwan’s words, but he was brought back to attention when Jinhwan suddenly looked up at him with a small smile and stood up to cup Chanwoo’s face gently his neck strained to meet the maknae’s eyes. “But two years is a long time Chanwoo~ah”
Chanwoo looked down feeling even more lower despite the obvious comfort his eldest hyung was trying to offer him, but Jinhwan held him fast by releasing his face to wrap his arms around his chest “I'm still mad…but seeing color is nice, right?” At the mention of his eyesight Chanwoo forgot his momentary fear and unabashedly answered “Did you know the sky was blue hyung? Or that a sunset was really orange- or how about a rainbow? It's all these different colors”

Jinhwan pulled back with a bark of laughter at Chanwoo’s childish eagerness making him smile sheepishly a feeling of hope blooming in his chest as Hanbin suddenly piped in “Why don't we start over? From the beginning, the way it's supposed to be?” At that suggestion everyone cheered even though of how odd it was, but no one protested so Chanwoo could count that as a win.

It wasn't perfect, but then again what was?

A/N: This is not the end, hence 1/2, honestly the reason why it's becoming extended is because nothing is easy and I didn't show the romantic part- which is what would be the real struggle in their relationship as soulmates. That's the reason as to why it's extended, now the reason as to why it's so late? Well, it was that time of month where Finals came out and I've been studying hard for it so that meant half cutting out Kpop for a bit, but I'm back XD Yah!