☓ REVIEW PICKUP
Title (4/5) - How original is your title and how much does it relate to the story?
• I think your title is okay, it made sense with your story; seeing as the title meddled in with your plot.
• I, however, wasn't fond of the fact that the title held so much meaning that when I started to read it, I was surprised; seeing as it looked like the cliffhangers left a mess. Some people prefer that way; because it usually ends up with a sequel, but since it's a one-shot, it would be good to settle with only a few cliffhangers and more fillers or an epilogue.
Description/Foreword (8/10) - how much did it catch my attention and relate to the story?
• The description was profound. It could send a reader's imagination to outerspace because it was short-in a good way- and mysterious.
• The foreword? Honestly, it was eye catching but it seemed left out, and the main point with your 'summary' wasn't that close to the results of your plot.
Plot (15/20) -
Originality - how unique and different is your story?
• It was unique, it had its own charm. How the girl seemed to have a fanatic aura at one point and then next she seemed cold towards Taeil's confession.
Believable - in your story's world, how much do I believe this is what is happening?
• It wasn't exactly believable of how they ended up being together, because Chae Hee had feelings for Taeil's best friend and not him. Then out of the blue, they ended up together.
Characters (24/30) -
Voice - how strong is your narrative voice/the character's voice?
•This statement is both for the narrator and the character; it wasn't expressive. It only yelled out common feelings, it didn't scream the words hidden in the paragraph. Taeil and Narrator itself should be more outspoken, more comfortable with sharing their feelings to the reader.
Development - how much does the character grow in the story?
•I actually like their development. They were more open but their relationship seemed on edge, as if mistakes should be avoided or the string snaps.
Personality - how alive do they feel?
• They moved as if they were dolls. They depend too much on words and luck. Not their instincts. Some people don't like impulsive people but when you have a plot like this, its better if they risk more than less.
Setting (6/10) - how well-built and represented is your setting in the story?
•It was the cliche type of setting often portrayed in love stories, specifications of locations are somewhat needed so the reader has a guide.
Mechanics (11/15) -
Flow - how does the story pace itself and move along?
• It moved too quick, it was directionless at some point. Obviously in the end, they breal up. But there's more to just one ending, this story didn't really have the proper pace.
Grammar/Vocab - how many errors were there?
• The errors weren't exactly that heavy, but in the world of books, some readers are strict, escpecially with grammar. Tip, don't misuse the tenses, and never confuse your pronouns.
Misc. (8/10)
Enjoyability - how much did I enjoy your story?
• It was enjoyable, thrilling and it makes the reader crave more.
Satisfactory - am I satisfied with the way it is progressing/ended?
• It had its pros and cons, so hopefully, for the next upcoming works, it will be better. :)
Total: (80/100)
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