The hallway was crowded with people; a couple on the left side of the hall giving each other flirtatious glances and touches, and about a few feet farther down, a group of guys bumping into each other playfully and being boisterous.  Opposite them, the fashion kids with their buttocks-length skirts to the point you could see their just by tilting your head to the side, and between them all, a group of students standing silently with their books which appeared to be permanently glued in their hands. Sighing, I dropped my arms to my side and walked through the crowd; slipping through the small space effortlessly.

This place sent a chill down my spine and it somehow reminded me of the vague nightmares I constantly had every night. The urge to just sit in the corner and curl up to myself was strong, but I stayed adamant; locking my arms to my side. As soon as I was outside, A breath of fresh air brushed my ears and I heaved a relieved sigh, pleased by the fact I was no longer in the suffocating plain building crowded with people. Something moved in my peripheral view and I looked to my left to see my chauffeur standing by the car with a small smile on his face.

Without a word, I headed for them and climbed into the car where I could let all the weight on my back, fall. The passing greenery became a hazy blur and the windows were beaded; an aftermath of the heavy rain earlier. When we arrived home, the house was as quiet as usual with only the sound of kitchen utensils clanking from the back. The butler was standing by the stairs and he looked at me, welcoming me home with a smile before glancing up the stairs and my eyes instantly twinkled. I didn’t waste time and rushed to my room.

There, on the couch in the corner of the room sat Jung Daehyun.

He was attired in a dark blue jeans and white shirt with a gray cardigan, his left leg crossed over the other and a book in his hand. He was wearing that glasses similar to Harry Potter (and no matter how many times he tried to argue over how different his glasses were with Harry Potter, I didn’t care). The soft thud of the door from the result of me shutting it caught his attention and his eyes flickered up to mine; dark and smoky. “Welcome back,” He smiled, putting his book down and standing up.

“Hi,” I greeted, joy overflowing from me as I accepted his embrace. He smelled like lavender of the fabric softener and I hid my smile in the crook of his neck. “How was your day?” I questioned, the feeling of his fingers running through my hair almost making me purr like a cat. I felt him shift before we pulled apart and he brought me to the couch; pulling me down to his lap instead of letting me sit at the empty spot beside him.

“Good, although I wouldn’t say the same for my tutor.” He answered, his voice low, honeyed and fruity which tickled my ears. “I forgot to finish up my physics homework ad my teacher got pissed.”

“That’s all?”

“Well, there’s more.” Daehyun said, pulling my fingers that were playing with the buttons of his cardigan away and bringing it up to his lips. “But, they’re not important. What about you?” It was his turn to ask and I returned a smile at the thumbing gesture he did on the back of my hand.

“Okay, I guess. The same as any other days.”

“Do you have a lot of work to do?”

“No.” I sighed, laying my head on his shoulder and closing my eyes momentarily before opening them back when I felt something soft and warm pressing on my temple. “I did them all during our free period.” I continued, still staring at Daehyun through hazy eyes. I was feeling sleepy, but I didn’t want to sleep and I assumed it was obvious with the way Daehyun was looking at me. His eyes flashed worry before they were quickly replaced by something incomprehensible. “Does your parents know you’re here?” I whispered; a shaky breath leaving my lips when Daehyun placed his hand under my jaw and thumbing the skin there.

Daehyun’s  eyes were the shade of acorns, just bright enough to shine in the shadows. I often kept my gaze to the ground or else tilted upward to the sky, but when I was brave enough to meet them a shiver of golden light would race down my spine, every time. Every time. He was looking at me with so much love to the point I almost stopped breathing. I was breathless with delight as he showered me with gentle, soft kisses, each with its own flicker of warmth. I gazed up at him, thrilled beyond words to be the recipient of his affection and a faint rosy hue painted my cheeks as he looked at me with a smile.

“They do,” He breathed and leaned his forehead against mine, his eyes closed and his eyelashes batting beautifully against his cheeks. “They told me to be careful as well.”

“Why?”

“So I wouldn’t take you.”

I stared at Daehyun with utter confusion, completely lost of what he was trying to imply and laughter bubbled in his chest when he saw my expression. “Think harder.” He suggested before snuggling in the crook of my neck while I stared at particularly nothing. It took me another whole minute before the realization sets in and I swore my cheeks were flaming out of embarrassment. A choked squeak escaped from my lips and I hit him on the shoulder while muttering incoherent words under my breath; his laughter making my insides twist. “I really hate you.”

 

 

 

I had met Daehyun when I was seven and he was nine. I was practically a newbie in the neighborhood; lost and still confused about why we had to move from Jeju (and learnt a few years later that it was because dad was transferred to a new company). Daehyun was the boy living in the house across ours. He was the friendly and bubbly kind while I, who couldn’t deal with strangers due to a dark past would always glower due to nervousness and fear. I was never good at making friends.

Daehyun and his parents had come over one day to welcome us and mother had invited them in for dinner. She even asked Daehyun to play with me right after dinner ended and all I could say was the atmosphere was nowhere near as comfortable. It was suffocating and the silence was ringing in my ears. We were both sitting at each end of the room; I was holding my favorite duck plush while Daehyun had a toy in his hands, soft ‘choo, choo’ sounds coming from him occasionally.

“You’re not good with talking to new people, are you?” He had voiced out and looked at me dead in the eyes, which had me shrinking in fear as I clutched the duck (which I named, Dean) to my chest tightly. “Mom told me you’re scared of people. Why?”

I didn’t answer and only stared at my own two feet, humming to a song in my head as a way to mute out everything around me. “Hey,” The voice, which sounded much closer than before had me jumping and screaming. I had no idea how loud it was but all I could remember was my mother rushing into the room with a worried look on her face. Everything was a blur after that, but Daehyun had told me a few years after the event that I was staring with fear at the toy train he was holding.

I never liked that train as it reminded me of something terrifying.

It took me quite a while to get used to Daehyun. In primary school, although I was still struggling to be friends with Daehyun, I would always, always run to him when I had problems; during the lunch break and the free periods as well. Unfortunately, Daehyun never did manage to attend high school. He was homeschooled simply because he was the next in line to inherit his father’s business and there were so many things he needed to learn before being able to take over the company in the future which would lead to him having to skip school. Thus, I was left alone and till today, I could say that I still had yet to make friends with anyone.

Thumbing the silver band around my index finger, I smiled at the memories of Daehyun coming over to my house on one night, two years ago. He had complained about feeling bored being in the house alone and came to my house right after and I was in no place to decline. He stood at the doorstep with an anxious look on his face and a pink rose in his hand when I opened the door. At first, I thought he was joking around until he stood so close to me and pecked me on the edge of my lips to prove how genuine he was. I could only stand there, struck with both surprise and happiness (that I managed to mask) before dragging him into the house afterwards.

I had begun to like,no-love having him around me. I didn’t know how the feelings came to resurface, but I figured it was during the last year of our primary school. Without anyone’s knowledge, I was more or less bullied by a group of boys who were a year older than me. They would demand for my lunch money and sometimes, made me carry all their books to their class. Daehyun had caught me one day in action and I just waved it off as something unimportant.

The funny thing was that I knew Daehyun wouldn’t leave it be.

One day, while I was heading back to my class from the restroom, the bullies had stopped me halfway and hauled me to the back of the school where they pushed me against the wall, my elbow colliding with the hard surface painfully. They had questioned me whether I had told anyone about them making me do stuff. I was confused to say the least. I knew very well that I had not, but they obviously didn’t believe me and tried to make me tell them by physically hurting me. It was only after the second hit in the stomach did Daehyun show up with a broomstick in his hand, yelling at the boys to get off of me and charging at them with the stick held above his head.

In the end the teachers came and managed to pull them apart from each other; Daehyun barely managed to escape unharmed. It was in the infirmary, after I was patched up did Daehyun started yelling at me for being so stupid and not telling him anything. To be honest, the only reason I didn’t tell him was because I didn’t want him to get hurt. Not to mention, the bullies were much bigger than Daehyun was and confronting them would be stupid. Even if that boy ate a lot, he never gained weight (I’m jealous).

“I’m fine. Stop yelling.” I had said with a pout on my face and my arms on my knees while Daehyun was standing in front of me with his arms crossed, an obvious unsatisfied expression marred on his face. “Why do you even care..” I had whispered, thinking he wouldn’t hear it, but oh boy how wrong I was. Daehyun fumed afterwards and started yelling profanities at the wall and I was shocked to the point I could only stare at the scene with wide eyes and a blank expression.

“I care for you, that’s why!!” He had yelled with his fingers curled up into a fist. “If you’re in trouble, just call for me!! I don’t care if I was ting or half dead in my  bed, just call me and I’ll be there! I thought you’re okay with me being your friend and I thought you liked me. Am I wrong? Do you actually hate me? Why give me false hopes on us being okay? Do you have any idea how overjoyed I was when you started coming to me every time you have the chance? I thought you have warmed up to me. I thought my patience and hard work finally paid off and the result was having you by my side. Was I wrong?”

Truthfully, if someone else was there in the infirmary (thank god the nurse left right after she treated me) they would have laughed at how hilarious I looked like, with my mouth agape and my eyes as round as a golf ball. I remember flushing with both embarrassment and shyness while looking at my lap. “No.” I had answered after a moment of silence and when Daehyun had calmed down. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I didn’t know. I was scared. I’m sorry.”  I didn’t know if it was because I was relieved that he didn’t hate me after all those years of me pushing him away, but I knew that I was happy.

He held my hands afterwards and bent down to my level, his boyish grin blinding me as he said, “Don’t run away, okay?” I think it was during then that something blossomed in me. Warmth filled my cheeks and I could only stare at his twinkling eyes that resembled the stars in the night sky.

 

(I had decided from that time onwards that Jung Daehyun was attractive)

 

 

 

“Youngjae?” Looking away from the book in my hand, I glanced down at the male in my bed with a smile dancing on my lips. He rubbed his eyes with his knuckles, the ring around his index finger glimmering under the dim light of the room. “What time is it?” He asked, stifling a yawn and sitting up before looking around him.

“Ten minutes to nine.” I answered as I flicked the book to the next page. Daehyun turned to me and his hand appeared on my wrist, gently tugging me towards him before his pair of soft and plump lips landed on mine, coaxing my own lips to move. My body trembled with bliss and the euphoric warmth blossomed within me. The book dropped from my hands, shutting close with a soft thud and I didn’t care if I just lost the page I was reading because wrapping my arms around Daehyun’s neck was much better than reading.

His hand cupped my cheek and he lovingly rubbed soothing circles on the soft skin; the sparks flying in different directions, the world slowly disappearing along with our worries and troubles. When my fingers played with the end of his hair on his nape, Daehyun smiled in between the kisses before we pulled apart, his eyes dazed. “Are you seriously trying to test my patience.”

“I didn’t do anything though.” I said with no whatsoever sarcasm or underlying meaning. Chuckling, Daehyun hummed and pulled me down to lay with him. He threw his arm over my waist and pulled me closer till there was almost little to no distance between us. His warm breath fanned over my lips and I could only whine on the inside at our close proximity. “Are you busy tomorrow?” I asked, breaking the comfortable silence.

“No.”

“Good. Take me out to the park.” I demanded, my fingers brushing against his neck and leaving feather-like touches. “I don’t want to go alone.”

“You’re such a bossy lover.”

“And yet, you came to me.”

“Yeah, I did.” He whispered, pressing our foreheads together and looking straight in my eyes.

 

 

 

 

 “I have no regrets.” 

I don't know what I just wrote. Don't ask. I don't know how it has whatsoever connection to my foreword. Bye. Let me drown myself in shame