Chaeyoung wasn't completely sure how it started.

But she clearly remembers how Mina had effortlessly stolen her breath away when she danced with Momo in the practise room during Sixteen. Those precise movements, while not as sharp as the other Japanese girl's had been, were still enough to cause Chaeyoung's mouth to drop wide open, wide enough for Somi who was sitting next to her to nudge it shut with a wink. Chaeyoung thinks Mina beginning to invade her thoughts could have started from there but she has known Mina for a long time already, the Japanese ballerina coming in when she was already a trainee in the company. Maybe it was because of the adorable smile that was always on her face when she was speaking with the other J-line members, mouth moving in rapid Japanese, making Chaeyoung consider picking up the language just so she could understand her better. "You have that look again," She hears Somi whisper to her, her hair's orange tips brushing her cheeks from where the two girls were leaning side by side on the practise room's wall, Chaeyoung's head on her shoulder. Chaeyoung just shrugs, pressing herself harder against the wooden wall because she noticed Sana, who was across the room, staring unblinkingly at her. 

In many ways, Chaeyoung is thankful that she has a best friend like Somi.

They were the same age, giving them many common topics to talk about, ranging the entire scale. But, Chaeyoung thinks to herself one day, she is probably the most thankful for the fact that Somi doesn't judge her despite her having the biggest crush on her fellow trainee. "It's not a crush, you're in love." Somi would always deadpan to the dwarf rapper but would be turned away and silenced with a quiet and rare scoff. In their society, same gender love is frowned upon, something Chaeyoung is already well aware of despite her tender age. Maybe it was because of her upbringing, being half-Canadian and all, or maybe it was just her warm and open-minded personality, never judging or criticising no matter the situation. Somi would always be there with a small smile and warm arms that Chaeyoung would always fall into after a hard day's work of training. "We should support each other, we're best friends after all!" Somi had brightly answered when Chaeyoung asked her why she was always there for her after a particularly gruelling day of lessons. Chaeyoung had just hugged the other girl tighter, burying her head into her shoulder. Which was why she cried so hard when Somi was not chosen to be in Twice. The other girl just smiled again, hugging the trembling girl close. Chaeyoung finally noticed the silent tears that were dripping onto her bare shoulder. "Why are you crying? Shouldn't you be happy?" Somi had asked through her tears, making Chaeyoung cry harder. "C'mon, you should smile. Look, Mina eonnie's coming over!" Yeah, she was definitely lucky that her best friend was Jeon Somi.

Mina was just a mystery to her, an enigma that Chaeyoung couldn't even begin to wrap her head around.

She lost track of the amount of times that Mina would just confuse her with her loving actions and then go back to being a quiet, calm penguin in the corner. They were at a fan meet, signing autographs for the sheer number of Onces that had turned up when Mina had called to her, asking her to make a heart for the fans. She had been a little thrown off at first, choosing to buy time by pretending that she could not hear the ballerina's quiet voice in her ears. Eventually, after Mina's fourth nudge, she had responded, forming a heart and smiling a smile so bright that she was surprised at herself that it was not forced. "Why are you so surprise?" Somi had questioned her when Chaeyoung had called her one night, already getting ready to sleep. "I don't know." Chaeyoung had answered truthfully, unable to figure out why herself either. She had gone to bed that night tossing and turning in her blankets, not getting a good night's sleep despite the packed schedule she had the next morning. She gave up trying after many fruitless attempts to fall asleep and decided to go to the kitchen for some warm milk. And apparently, she had fallen asleep in the kitchen counter, if what Tzuyu told her was correct when the other maknae found her sleeping soundly on the smooth granite surface.

Chaeyoung decided that she would never fall asleep sitting up ever again but quickly changed her mind after their ride to the entertainment building for a music show.

The whole morning, she had been smiling through the pain and numbness of her legs and just her lower body in general, already used to but still hating the uncomfortable feeling 'sleeping' muscles brought about. Jihyo had noticed it immediately, not surprising with her being the leader and all. Sometimes Chaeyoung was surprised at the things her eonnie noticed, most of them even she herself was not aware of. "Are you okay?" She whispered to the sleepy rapper, only moving away from Chaeyoung when the latter gave a drowsy but convincing nod. Chaeyoung assumed that the other members in the van would leave her alone for the remaining duration of the ride, she had been frowning since they left the dorm. So she was a little annoyed when she felt another body slide next to her, arms intertwining with hers. Chaeyoung was all ready to shrug the person off, a scathing growl at the tip of her tongue when she realised two things. The first was that the scent that was currently invading her nostrils was really familiar and the soft hands that were holding hers were tracing tiny patterns into her palm. The frown instantly vanished and Chaeyoung cracked open one eye to be greeted with the sight of Mina nestled on her shoulder, invading more of Chaeyoung's personal space then she would usually allow. But for some reason, she could not find it in her to chase her off, heart already doing tiny somersaults in her chest.

Chaeyoung thinks that maybe her heart is finally giving up on her.

That could be the only reason. Why else would it stutter to a complete stop whenever Mina came close? Or beat so rapidly that Chaeyoung feared that it would jump right out of her chest whenever Mina winked or smiled at her? No one else could ever make her feel like this and she hated it, this feeling that was slowly but surely spiraling out if her control. It was as if Mina lit a tiny fire in her heart, and the only one capable of extinguishing it was Mina herself. Chaeyoung hated this quality that Mina seemed to have been responsible of bringing out too, being someone who seldom waxed poetic about another. Maybe this was why she was such a gifted rapper, able to craft a rap that while had not been perfect yet, still managed to grab the attention of the judges during Sixteen, including PD-nim himself. "Why don't you ever say anything?" Somi had poked her forehead during practise once, catching her staring at the dancing ballerina for the n-th time that day. Chaeyoung just shook her head, a pained smile on her lips, words dying in .

For you see, even the smallest flames can lead to an uncontrollable inferno.

And she knows that Mina was going to be the bane of her existence soon, if not at this point in time. As the days passed, Chaeyoung found herself craving more of Mina's time, voice, presence and company, something that she promised herself before that she was only allowed to have if Mina permitted. Now it seemed like her consciousness no longer cared, always making (helping) her find a way to Mina, she no longer could tell if it was a conscious or subconscious effort. She would volunteer to buy groceries for the dorm with Mina, walk by her side where ever they went, sit next to her during fan meets, accompany her during the wee hours of morning under the pretext of finishing up her homework when all she wanted to do was memorise the sound of Mina triumphed laughter when she won a round in her game. This was seriously getting out of hand since she usually ended up watching her more than anything else. "Shouldn't you be getting more sleep? You're a growing girl, you know." Jungyeon, her no-jam hyung mentions off-handedly once to her as they were practising for their upcoming schedule as emcees for a music show. Chaeyoung just shrugs, rubbing the dark eye circles that were gradually getting darker and blacker and trying her hardest to stifle a yawn that was fighting to get out. She'd admit it was really affecting her performance, but Chaeyoung found that she didn't mind the scoldings and extra practises as long as Mina still smiled that bright gummy smile at her.

So she guesses she should not really be surprise when Sana corners her in the kitchen late at night.

If even someone as oblivious as Jungyeon noticed (Nayeon tells that to her with a wistful sigh almost everyday), then she thinks she must have been pretty obvious. They had just got home from a programme and most of the rest were either showering or preparing to sleep. Chaeyoung had been sitting in the kitchen again, waiting for Dahyun to finish in the shower so she could use it when Sana sat down opposite her, her face hard, eyes gleaming. It was because of the lack of the usual cute smile that had Chaeyoung sitting up straighter, grip tightening around the cup of water she was holding. "You've been staring at Mina alot nowadays." Sana began, causing Chaeyoung to gulp audibly. It was no secret that the three Japanese members were close, considering themselves as sisters even but Sana was especially protective of their youngest sister, the penguin that Chaeyoung was currently buried neck-deep in love with. Chaeyoung opens then shuts it again, realising she had nothing to counter what her eonnie had so bluntly put across. "Do you like her?" She hears Sana question and blurts out quickly, " Of course I do! I like everyone!" Nerves were making Chaeyoung hypersensitive, adrenaline pumping through her body. "You know that's not what I meant, Chaeyoung-ah." Sana leans fowards and Chaeyoung immediately leans back, making Sana raise her eyebrows. "Then what else could you mean?" She asks nervously, more than aware of the answer already. "So you like her." It was not a question and Chaeyoung visibly deflates, unable to look at the squirrel in the eyes. She always found it hard to lie to her eonnies, something that she thought was a blessing and curse.

"You like me?" Another voice joins in and Chaeyoung could literately feel her heart stop beating.

She freezes in her seat, feeling goosebumps rise on every inch of her skin, watching Sana's smug expression from across the table. Mina silently pads over next to her and Chaeyoung stiffens up, mind unable to process the abrupt turn of events. "Chaeyoung-ah, look at me?" She hears the question but refuses to move, shaking in her seat. As Mina stretches a hand towards her, the toilet door bangs open and the whole kitchen hears Dahyun's call for Chaeyoung to come and shower as soon as possible. That was all Chaeyoung needed to unstick her body and she all but fled the kitchen, tears already collecting at the corner of her eyes. She pushes past a surprise Dahyun and slams the door to the toilet shut, sliding to the floor. Not a second later, she hears Dahyun knock on the door hesitantly, asking her if she was fine. Swallowing hard, Chaeyoung just managed to keep the tremble out of her voice as she replies," I'm fine, eonnie." She hears Dahyun hum an affirmative and as her footsteps fade away, can no longer control the tears that drip down her face, onto her clenched fists. She curls up into a ball, sobbing quietly into her knees, knowing that the rest of Twice were most probably asleep and that she shouldn't disturb them with her problem. The problem that had gotten so out of hand, made her so obvious that now even the source of the problem knew. She remembers Sana's face and while she did not managed to see Mina's (she wasn't sure she would ever again anyway), knew it was probably filled with disgust. Disgust for a girl as inadequate as Chaeyoung herself for liking her, disgust for Chaeyoung even entertaining the thoughts of Mina liking her back. "I'm sorry..." She mutters brokenly through her tears, as an unheard apology to her beautiful muse, the one that caused her so much pain yet happiness was always found near her as well. Chaeyoung bows her head again, continuing to cry silently, not knowing that opposite the thin wooden door was someone else, red hair covering her frowning face, apology accepted ten times over but knowing that it was never needed.