My roommate, Kiseop, decided to go into town for a few drinks with some friends. These friends were all in colleges from around the country so they had to stay the night. I didn’t mind but I was nervous. I usually am good with talking to people but this is my friend’s friends. What if they don’t like me? I got dressed up, a little. Does putting on a leather jacket and skinny jeans count? At five o’clock, a few of them started to arrive. We had some drinks before going. That helped me relax and ease my way into talking to them. I felt I was slowly getting on fine with them. One guy, however, was kinda just staring at me.I soon was told his name was Hoon. If I looked over at him, he’d just smile but it was kind of an uncomfortable one. One that made me smile in politeness and quickly look away. Around ten we left the apartment. We got a bus into town and went to a nightclub. We sat down at a tale and ordered some more drinks. I somehow managed to be sat beside Hoon. Luckily Kiseop was on the other side of him. They started talking to each other so all I could do was drink my beer. Then Kiseop stops talking and looks at me.

“Soohyun have you guys talked much?”

I shook my head. Why would I? I didn’t even want to be near him. We properly introduced ourselves and shook hands. I should probably wash my hands soon. No that's way too harsh. I’m not that petty. Getting drunk was my crutch tonight. The only thing that will make me talk to him. Kiseop had gone off at that point when he saw some of his other friends. As Hoon talked to me, I noticed that he always had his elbows on the table and his face resting in one of his hands. Turns out after talking about some small stuff, we like some of the same things. Suddenly, Kiseop came up to us. He was clearly very drunk.

“This is so great! It’s so funny that I’ve two best friends who I love so much and are both gay!”

I glanced at Hoon and saw his eyes widen. What was he going to do to me now? When Kiseop went off as soon as he said that, Hoon turned back to look at me and did the same gesture, elbows on table and head in hand.

“You’re on the other side of the street?”

I felt myself go red and nodded.Now I don’t mind telling people that I’m gay it’s just...well...I’d rather tell people myself then having my drunk friend casually blurting it out. Hoon seemed to magically begin talking to me more. I don’t know whether to be happy or not. Was that the only way he would bother talking to me? I suppose though the conversation did feel a little less comfortable. I took another drink of my beer and stopped as soon as I put it back down on the table. Oh no. I had to cut the conversation short and excused myself to go to the bathroom. I walked quickly, almost jogging, to the bathroom. I collapsed onto the floor in one of the stall and vomited into the toilet. I got a lot out. When I heaved up the last of it, I heard Kiseop’s voice outside the stall. And Hoon’s. I cleaned up the mess and held onto the walls as I stood up. My legs were weak. Once I got more strength, I walked out of the stall and by passed the two. I washed my hands and rinsed out my mouth. I wouldn’t have cared if it was just Kiseop there but the fact that it was the first day of meeting Kiseop’s friends and vomiting, wasn’t exactly a good first impression. It was almost time to go home anyway. Hoon told me that I didn’t need to worry about this. I didn’t even respond. It was rude but I mean, it’s not like he hasn’t vomited from alcohol before, right? When the place was emptying out, the group of us walked to the taxi lane. Of course I had to fall in front of everyone. That was more embarrassing than the vomiting. Eventually we got a taxi for all of us and headed back to the apartment. Everyone basically passed out as soon as we got in the door.

The next morning, all of Hoon’s friends left. Hoon forgot his glasses. I kept thinking of him after that.

*

It was Hoon’s birthday. I was invited and even though I was hesitant to go, I wanted to get to know Kiseop’s friends. It was a long travel to his place so we were the ones staying over. It was about 11pm when we went out. Again I wasn’t that drunk but enough to help me talk to everyone. When we got to the club, we ought drinks and down in the seating area. As I was getting drunker as the night went on, some of us decided to dance. I’m not particularly a good dancer but it was the alcohol that had me forget that. Though sometimes I would get bored and go back to the seating area on my own. This is when Hoon came up to me. I didn’t feel like talking to him so I did it out of politeness. He plopped down beside me and started the conversation by complimenting what I was wearing. I said thanks and laughed awkwardly. I don’t know if it was the alcohol or the loud music making us should our words out, but I noticed we were leaning in towards each other. It wasn’t long until his friends appeared. Pictures were now being taken. In one picture, it was Hoon and I. Hoon managed to kiss the side of my head just as the flash went off. I didn’t know what to think so I guess left it to its own. We hadn’t any more alcohol so we were slowly sobering up. Somehow, though, I felt like I could talk to him without drinking. I started to notice the other little things on him. His features were flawless. His smile was intoxicating. Time seemed to slow down for me. How I knew this was I had been unknowingly biting my lip when Hoon had to lean over me to talk to Kiseop who was on my otherside. He looked at me and that point I didn’t hear or see anything else. s were starting to come to life. Actually I may have to give out to myself. While thinking about Hoon when I met him, I developed a sort of crush. I was in denial about it. But not now. Now my crush was full blown. No denial there.

It was around 3am when we had to leave. We all got into a taxi which was a sort of mini van. I was sitting near the front while Hoon sat at the back. Kiseop was sitting beside me.

“Did you know Hoon wants to hook up with you?”

I wasn’t surprised but at the same time, he thought about me that way so quickly.

“Could he?” My was talking for me.

This actually surprised Kiseop.

“Really?!”

I nodded slowly.

“I won’t tell him”

“Oh” I felt disappointed “Why not?”

“I’m leaving you two to deal with it yourselves”

I sighed. It would’ve been just easier to tell him for me.

When we got back to the house, everyone went to get ready for bed. Some of them were hungry so they ate the last of the leftovers in the kitchen. While they were doing that, somehow it was just myself and Hoon lying on his bed. He turned to me and said:

“You’re really hot”

I quietly said thank you. I still didn’t know the guy so I was still not used to him giving me compliments. There was a little bit of a silence before he said that he was afraid of other people making out in his room. I agreed with him, telling him it can feel like an intrusion. He came up close to me and whispered;

“I’m the only one allowed make out in my room”

I doubt it was the alcohol that made my heart beat fast and my face turn red after he said that. I had to kiss him.

But.

Before we kissed, I looked over to the side and see Kiseop ING LOOKING AT US EATING A BOWL OF LEFTOVER BEEF STEW WITH HIS STUPID SAD FACE ON HIM. Now, Kiseop is actually pretty blind without his glasses or contacts on. He can’t see very far. So he didn’t ing see me and Hoon, on his bed, about to make out.

We both sat back. He came up to us with his sad face still on him.

“Guys I’m still hungry”

I felt that Kiseop wasn’t coming back with me tomorrow…

The others started to come into the room and get into their pyjamas and sleeping bags. Hoon’s bed wasn’t small so Kiseop was going to be sleeping beside Hoon. Kiseop though asked me to join them. I stuttered out a “yes”. Sleeping in the bed didn’t last long. Kiseop is a terrible person to be in the same bed with. He kept kicking me and slapping me in the face and talking. I just gave up and slept in my own sleeping bag.

The next morning, Kiseop and I got the early bus and headed back home. There wasn’t too many people on the bus so Kiseop started asking me questions.

“So what about you and Hoon? Still think you’ll go for him?”

I looked at him dead in the eyes.

“You ed us”

“What?! How?!”

I told him what happened.

“Oh my god” He covered his face with his hands “I am so sorry”

I thought back to the moment. And started roaring laughing.

“The ing face on you!”

“Huh?”

I laughed harder.

“Eating beef stew and standing in the the doorway with that stupid sad face. Oh my god I should be angry but I’m not”

“But. I…”

I thought about it again and couldn’t speak due to laughing even more. I guess Kiseop thought about it too because he joined in. He’s such a .

*

It was Kiseop’s birthday. I did the usual routine of getting ready but I also had a little birthday cake for him. When everyone was in the kitchen, I turned off the lights and brought in the cake. After everyone sang happy birthday, I put down the cake and Kiseop blew out the candles. Hoon appeared and said “hi” to me. I nervously said hi back. This time even though I was nervous, I was excited too. What of something actually were to happen? As the night went on, everyone seemed to end up in my room. It was bigger than Kiseop’s but I thought they’d be in his. I guess that’s what happens. I sat on my bed and talking to the people sitting on the floor. Talking to them distracted me from seeing Hoon come over to me and sit on the bed beside me.

“Is this your bed?” He asked, touching the duvet.

What a stupid thing to ask. No one else was living in the apartment.

“Yeah”

I could feel that small bit of again as he looked at me. Kiseop called for Hoon to speak to him. I don’t know why but Hoon did have to leave the room. Shortly, it was Kiseop who came into the bedroom and sat down beside me.

“Soohyun, I think Hoon got a bit too drunk because he said loads of things to me. He didn’t want to tell you for some reason. Like you know me, I can’t hold it back from you”

He started to whisper to me.

“He said that you deserve the world and that he’s love to that and be in a relationship with you”

I didn’t know how to react. The confession went from “You’re amazing” to “ me”. I went for the relationship part and feebly said “Aww” A guy wants to me off I shouldn’t say that!

It wasn't long until we all went out. We got the bus into town but, in our drunken state, we missed the stop and had to get the next one which was way further down the road. I felt sorry for the girls in their high heels as we walked our way into town. We went into one of the non seedy clubs. It was crowded but it was easy to get through people. We found a place to sit down in a corner. Hoon sat down beside me and the tension rose again. He was casually kissing my cheeks and giving me hugs.

“Your hair smells really fruity”

Fruity? Did I accidently use Kiseop’s shampoo? I was frozen, not sure what to do. He was really forward and I wasn't used to that. It was usually me being this forward. I did think back to what I told Kiseop before. When I’m drunk my confidence levels are way too high but when I’m with Hoon, they drop completely. I become shy. Why was I so afraid to do anything? So, I pushed the shyness to one side and gave into the kisses and hugs. When he hugged me again, I hugged back and kissed his shoulder in some sort of half hearted gesture of thanks for kissing my cheeks. In that moment though, I didn't want to let go. I held on tight and almost immediately, we just had to give each other one look and make out. It was long overdue. No one was there to block this time. He was clearly hungry to kissme. He was all over me. His hands were in my hair and then moved their way  down to grab my . I was quick with my mouth. I even managed to quickly bite his lip while kissing. When we pulled back the first words he said to me were;

"You're really good"

I smiled, secretly proud of that fact. It was about a two second pause before we made out again. It was really fun kissing him. So much fun that when we pulled away from this one, I felt myself get hard. I guess I also wanted to . Then... I noticed Kiseop had suddenly appeared and was sitting beside Hoon. I looked over Hoon's shoulder. Kiseop was making a smug face. This time not blocking but rather encouraging us-with a real erted face- to make out more. Totally ruined the moment.

When the night ended, we went back to the apartment. Once again, everyone passed out in the bedrooms. However...while I was asleep, I suddenly awoke to my creaky door, opening. I was scared at first. Everyone should be asleep. Then I heard a whisper.

"Make room for me"

Instantly I knew it was Hoon. I sat up and the bedside lamp. I saw the huge grin he had on his face. Also I saw that he was only in his boxers. He jumped onto my bed and tackled me down. We started giggling and squirming under the blankets. I turned off the light and lay down. Hoon pushed me onto my side facing the wall and wrapped himself around me. I felt a strange feeling of being safe with him.

"I wish I didn't have to go tomorrow he said quietly. I don't know when I'll see you again"

I thought about the next time I could see him. My birthday was too far away and I couldn't think of any event that would be soon.  

"Soohyun? Are you thinking about when we could?"

"Yeah"

"Don't say that it has to be a social occasion again. I want it to be just us"

I was about to say “what if your friends found out” but that's not a good excuse at all. We made out for sake.

"Come to my house sometime. When the parents aren't home"

I felt him curl around me tighter. He whispered into my ear.

"We can do other things that aren't just making out"

His hand sneakily moved up my leg and lightly pressed on my crotch. I instinctively pushed my into him.

"I think we got a deal so" He kissed my neck. His hand moved from my crotch and into my hair. He ran his hands through it. I was getting really sleepy. My eyes were drooping. He nuzzled his face in my hair.

"Your hair still smells fruity"

I laughed but it was an effort to do it. He noticed right away.

"Wanna go to sleep?"

I nodded.

"Okay" He kissed my head. "Goodnight, Soohyun"

"Good night" I yawned.

Before my eyes closed, he gently turned my head to his direction and kissed me.

"I need to kiss you more. Everyday"

I kissed him back.

"I want to do the same thing to you"

We kissed again. I had a sudden small burst of energy  I turned my body completely to him.

"Are you my boyfriend now?" I asked.

"Hmm...yeah. Yeah I am"

"Good"

That energy didn't last. When we kissed again and stopped, I snuggled into his chest and slowly dropped off to sleep. I remember hearing him say;

"I need to be snuggled up to you like this everyday too"

It was so long since I had a smile on my face as I fell asleep.