BLACK

A lot of people are afraid of me. A lot of people are afraid to darkness because they couldn’t see. Just in case it isn’t obvious to you, I am the color of darkness. My name is Black.  And people are just not afraid of me… they also hate me. But not everyone is best friends with the light. I may be cruel to most people but a lot of artist, poets, writers… and most of the misfits rely on me. But of course that’s not enough. I just want people to accept me. I want them to swim on the sea of darkness while they stare at the night sky or while they dance around a camp fire. I want them to learn how to breathe while I envelop them into a hug. I may not be that good… but I think everyone should remember that I’m also not that bad.

“Why don’t you go out and play with everyone?”

Wendy looked at her friend—Mark—who decided to accompany her for a while. “I told you,” she hugged her pillow, “I’m scared of the dark.” Understatement.

He didn’t say anything and he just looked her like he always does. Maybe she should be thankful that it’s Mark who “volunteered” to stay with her. She can’t answer too many questions and aside from that, she’s afraid that they will laugh behind her back if they knew about her fear. For once, she doesn’t want to be called a coward. She’s already in college and such nickname is just… not nice to hear. But anyway, it’s not just because she’s a coward… her fear of darkness is as serious as it could get.

“I have nyctophobia,” she tried glancing at Mark—just in case he’s giving her a weird look, “I’m not sure how I developed it but it’s actually quite serious,” he’s not giving her a weird look... instead, he’s just looking at her like he’s actually listening to what she’s saying, “My original plan was to stay at home, read books… the usual. But then I thought, maybe this will help me overcome this fear…”

“But you’re here inside… there’s a bonfire there, you know? There’s an actual light…”

“Yeah but the surrounding is still dark. I’m just thinking about it but I’m already feeling anxious.”

“Do you want to go there?”

“Sure. That’s the main reason why I went here, anyway. I’m not really into stuff like this.”

“Are you still going to be scared even if I accompany you there?”

“What?”

“I promise I won’t leave your side.” Disbelief is so apparent in her face that Mark had to look away because she looks too cute for his own liking… he might end up treating her like a teddy bear.

“No… I mean, I don’t want to be a bother. It’s okay. You go have fun.”

“But I’m here.” She looks confused, “I decided to accompany you here. What made you think that I will leave you there, Wendy?”

He marched towards her and then he offered his hand, “I’m really scared,” should she take it?

“I can’t promise you anything,” he glanced outside before staring right into her eyes, “But I’m not going to leave you there.”

“Are you… sure?”

“I can’t make the demons go away, but…” he reached for her hand and helped her stand up, “but I’ll fight them with you.” Mark gave her reassuring smile and somehow… she’s willing to try. She’s going to trust him.

***

“Mark!” Jb yelled. “Here.” He has a red cup on his hand and he handed it to Mark. “It’s just beer. Don’t worry.” Jb tapped Mark’s shoulder.

“Do you drink beer?” Mark asked Wendy. He noticed that the girl is shaking so she held her hand. “Okay, I guess not.” They sat near the bonfire.

Wendy tried focusing when she noticed that Mark is digging on the sand. “What are you doing?” He shrugged and then poured the content of the cup on the hole.

“I promised that I will the demons with you… remember?”

“Yeah but if you—”

“I’m not much of a drinker. I actually get drunk so easily.” He admitted. “And beer is not going to help me fight the demons.”

She turned her head so he won’t see her face. She can’t believe she’s actually blushing.

Even though a lot of things are already going through her mind, she can’t help but stare at their intertwined fingers. Is Mark taking advantage of her? She doesn’t think so. He may look like an actual boy but she knows that he’s not like that.

When he noticed that she fell silent, he squeezed her hand as if he’s trying to remind her that he’s just there and he won’t ever leave her. “Mark…”

“Yeah?”

“I’m feeling dizzy…” she closed her eyes and Mark noticed that her face is turning blue. Mark decided to carry her inside the house. He’s getting nervous, too.

“Focus on breathing, Wendy. Breathe in,” he instructed her and she did what she was told, “Breath out.” He repeated it for about three times. She kept her eyes closed until she felt something soft caressing her face.

“We’re already inside the house, Wendy. It’s okay.” She knows that she’s lying on a bed… but she also thinks that her head must be resting on Mark’s lap. Tears started streaming down her face and Mark panicked. “.” She heard him say. “I shouldn’t have forced you.” She wiped her eyes but she kept them closed. She tried sitting and good thing that she succeeded. Her head feels so light. “I’m sorry.”

Mark handed her a hankie and she used to wipe her tears. “Don’t be.” She even managed to smile.

“You almost—”

“It’s not so bad, you know?” she recalled how she can’t even step in to the dark but because of Mark, she was able to. “Maybe I should just take it slowly.” He held her hand and squeezed it again. He muttered a soft sorry and she kissed him on his cheek as a response.

“You closed your eyes a while ago…”

“Well… I had to. You know… to calm myself down or something.”

“It’s dark when you close your eyes, right?”

“Uhm… yeah?” she’s not sure where he’s getting at.

“Darkness, after all, is not so bad.”

“Huh?”

“You needed and will need darkness, too.”

“What?”

“When you close your eyes, it’s dark. But since you’re in your own world… it’s not so bad. It actually helps you. Darkness is your friend, too.”

She fell silent. Trying to process what he said. It took her quite some time to actually understand what he meant. “You’re right.”

“It is okay, Wendy. You don’t have to force yourself to be in the world’s darkness. Being in your own darkness is good enough. For now. Just take it slowly.”

“Thank you.”

“No worries,” He kissed her forehead, “besides, I want you to remember that you can always hold my hand in the dark until you can walk alone in it.”