Eunhyuk wonders sometimes how his life would be if he'd never met Donghae.
It's hard to even imagine, what with Donghae always there, but he tries anyway.

It makes him grateful.

Donghae's the best friend he's ever had. Sure, Jungsu was great and he'd known him since they were young, but Donghae was special. He was beautiful. He was everything.

So Eunhyuk imagined and he was subsequently grateful.

He goes to sleep next to Donghae and wakes up next to him and is grateful, so grateful.

He loves all of s, but they all know that there's always the  
one person or maybe two who you love most of all.

Donghae is the best friend in the world because he's so fun, and kind, and youthful. He's everything Eunhyuk wants and nothing that he needs. 

He likes to get on swing sets.
Watch movies with talking animals.
Eat until he thinks he'll explode.
And hug.

It's the swing set that makes him feel better when Junsu leaves.

"Let's swing, Hyukjae, okay?"

Who is Eunhyuk to say no when he's crying and Donghae's calling his name, his real name.

Donghae likes to get on swing sets, but that day, he pushes Eunhyuk on it instead, and before he knows it, his tears have given way to laughter.

They swing when every problem arises. They push each other "higher, higher!" and Eunhyuk tries to stop his feelings for Donghae, that seem to rise with the swing...
 

It's on the swing, where they share the first kiss.

It's not dreadfully dramatic.
No romantic banter, no jaw-dropping scenery.
Just Hyukjae, Donghae, and the swing.

They're simply sitting in silence, next to each other on the swing set, when Donghae grabs his hand and leans over to kiss him.

There are no fireworks, they don't need them.
Fireworks would be wrong anyway, after the gentle, soothing, feelings he's been having for the man all this time.

"Let's swing, Hyukjae," he whispers after pulling away, and he goes to stand behind him to push the swing.

At this point, Eunhyuk would let Donghae push him off of a cliff, because he's already fallen anyway...
 

"You're my favorite," Donghae says while Hyukjae pushes him on the swing. It's dark out and cold and they have a photoshoot early tomorrow, but that doesn't matter to them.
It never does.

"Favorite what?"

"Favorite anything. Favorite everything." Donghae says nonchalantly, stopping Eunhyuk's swing to wrap his arms around him.

They stay like that for a few minutes.
Breathing each other in.
Eunhyuk's hair smells of strawberries and Donghae wants to kiss him again.
And again and again and again...
 

They share a few more kisses.
Sweet ones, (not so sweet ones) and they also witness a few more kisses.
 

They're in the dance studio, wanting to shape up their duo performance choreo a little when they see the first one.

Heechul is uncharacteristically upset that day, his legs hurt, his pride hurts, and ultimately his heart hurts.

The kiss is unreal.

So gentle, almost cautious and Eunhyuk wonders if he and Donghae looked like that to any spectators.
Wonders if they looked like that to God.

When Siwon pulls away, Heechul smiles at him and they leave.

Hand in hand.

Later when Eunhyuk and Donghae are going to the swingset, they find it already occupied by Siwon and Heechul.

Heechul's hair is blowing behind him as he soars higher and laughs.

You don't need your legs to fly.
 

The second kiss is more expected.

It's been well established that Shindong has a girlfriend. He disappears often, ends up with far less money than any one man can spend alone, and he smiles.
The same smile Donghae wears after they've kissed somewhere in shadows. The thrill of love and lust and the sheer uncertainty of it all.

The two are on the dorm couch, cuddled together, Nari's head buried in Shindong's neck and she's feeding him.

"You really should stop stuffing me with food, Nari," he mumbles "I'm already fat..."

Nari merely looks at him, snuggles in further and places a kiss on his lips.

Love is light as a feather, never heavy in your heart.
 

The third kiss comes, (the same day as they reach their 300th kiss) and it's once again unexpected.

It's not a romantic kiss, but a friendly one. Perhaps more meaningful, less selfish, less wanting.

A kiss saying "I Love You," "I'm here for you." "But I will never want all of you."

Victoria is scared for Han Geng. Scared he'll lose hope, scared he'll lose Home.

He holds her close, and they speak in hushed words that are so foreign to Eunhyuk, he wonders if perhaps it's a language they made for each other.

"She misses China." Donghae says to him, as Victoria leans into Han Geng's shoulder and he brushes her hair away from her face.

Their kiss is simple, but not.
It's fleeting, but lingering.
Gentle, but forceful.

"Gege..." she whispers, "I miss home," she says, and he pulls her closer.

"Home is where the heart is," he says in broken Korean.
 

"We haven't been to the swing in a while, Hyukkie!" Donghae exclaims, already pulling the other male along.

It's true they hadn't, but things had been changing. The last time they swung together, there had been leaves on the trees. Now there was a blanket of snow covering everything. Everywhere was white and quiet and more white and more quiet.

But the seasons weren't all that had changed.
Their relationship had. The kisses had dwindled to nothing, and they had abandoned the swing to others.

These days, Donghae didn't seem to be everything, these days, when he held Hyoyeon, she was everything.

He never brought her to the swings, it'd be...a lie. A lie to give to her something kept only for Donghae, and though he loved her, Donghae was the best friend he'd ever had.

He gave him tears. he gave him kisses. He even gave himself late one night in the dark when Donghae crawled into his bed  
with wandering hands and wandering lips.

He let Donghae push him on the swingset, the snow flying off the soles of his boots as he flew, and he almost thinks he can hear the moans from that night.
 

"You love her, don't you?" Donghae asks as they sat on the swings again. "You love her like you could never love me."

"Yes."

"Bring her here." Donghae whispers before he walks away.

He still doesn't.
 

Eunhyuk is on his way to the swings (alone) and he hears the two before he sees them.

They're singing.
Loudly and beautifully and happily.

Luna and Onew.

They're in the swings, hardly moving, because their linked hands are holding them back (pushing them forward?) and the smiles on their faces could light up all of Seoul.

Their kiss is clumsy, dorky, much like themselves, and Hyukjae has to leave, no to disappear.

He's unaware he's crying and that the young couple has evacuated the swingset, until the voice snaps him out of his trance.

"Let's swing, Hyukjae..."



 

I'm...I'm not really sure what this is...

It's depressing, I'm sorry you guys D: