"Aren't you supposed to get ready?"

Startled, Luhan looks up to see his manager looming over him. Yixing looks amused as he ruffles through Luhan's carefully combed hair. He's donning a classy looking suit now for some event and aftershow party he's attending, though the way he's seated right now, curled up on the armchair in his hotel room, he looks nothing like a charmingly attractive male with thousands of fangirls dubbing him a god, but more like a cute little pup.

"Ge, you're not supposed to ruin my hair," Luhan sighs, pulling out the earplugs and setting his phone aside. Maybe he should stop watching videos, otherwise his phone won't survive the night while he might need it to exchange contacts with important people. Not that he needs that. After all, he's Korea's sweetheart with teenage girls and adult women alike loving him - the former for his sweet, cheesy pop songs about eternal love and finding the one, meanwhile the latter love him for his occasional appearance in variety shows and the dramas he starred in. Taking up the role of a side character in his acting debut project has been enough to expose him to a new audience that loved him as much as his die-hard fans and stans who have been following him for years already.

"I didn't ruin it," Yixing chuckles and Luhan barely manages to save his hair from another ruffle. "It looks nicer now actually."

"Zhang Yixing, you did not just ruin Luhan's hair!" Soojung screeches. She's back with a few make up utensils in her hands that she has been searching for in the bathroom. Luhan just sighs, knowing very well what is going to happen next. He really doesn't need to witness that. Thatbeing his manager sweet talking his stylist (Soojung is Luhan's personal stylist, taking care of his outfits, his hair style and his make-up) so they would end up kissing. It's a tiny bit infuriating, because Luhan's the star here, yet Soojung has never shown any interest in him. It's like a slap in the face to Luhan who thinks that he as the star should be the one having a sweet, secret office romance - office romance as in dating a colleague, someone who's working at the same company with him - but instead, he's got nothing. No romance, not at all (minus the fan letters and presents he gets from strangers on the daily)

"We're going to be late," Luhan says, hopefully loud enough for those two lovebirds to hear. He can hear Soojung giggling and that usually means that all her anger is blown away to make space for some lovey dovey time with her boyfriend. Sometimes, Luhan hates his life. He'd rather be a manager if it means being happy with a pretty stylist girlfriend who's just as pretty as any other female celebrity out there, if not even prettier. Luhan's not going to admit this ever, but at some point he's had a tiny crush on Soojung.

"Sorry, Lu," a sheepish Soojung apologizes, but she's beaming at him, so how could he ever be mad at her? He's only jealous because that's all that lacks in his life - some love and romance. Not that he'll get a chance at it so soon. The company is planning for him to release a new album in two months’ time and until then he's got to slave himself off. That, and the fact that his fangirls are going to grill whoever just so dares to get close to him, meaning he has no chance at dating.

As Luhan settles down in front of the dressing table with Soojung redoing his hair and applying the lightest make up, just to accentuate his features, Yixing has picked up his phone.

"Your battery's almost empty, Lu," he says and Luhan just huffs. He knows that. He's been watching videos for the past two hours because there's nothing better to do for him. There aren't any other schedules beside the event later in the afternoon, and apart from that Luhan doesn't think it's a good idea to go out. He's easily recognized and even in disguise there would be people who could find him. He's not sure how, but those fans do have their tricks to track him down without much efforts.

"You're lucky I foresaw that," Yixing continues. "I'll exchange the battery with a full one. You really need to stop watching these videos though. You've been watching nothing but videos of those two. It's almost an obsession."

And maybe it is. Luhan does admit - quietly to himself - that he's become quite a fan of 94x88. That's the youtube channel of a duo he has found not too long ago, with sharp, yet smooth moves and dance routines ranging from energetic and cheerful to slow and sensual. On top of that, despite the obvious differences in both their personal dance style and movements, they complement each other perfectly in every possible way. It's mesmerizing to see, and each time those two upload a new video (usually it is one video every two weeks) Luhan has to stop himself from squealing in delight. It's no exaggeration to say Luhan is their fan. He really is, no denial.

Sadly though, Sehun and Jongin usually dance to American RnB, some pop and hip hop, rarely using any Korean tunes. And although Luhan isn't fully Korean - his mother is Korean, but his father is Chinese - he has debuted in Korea at the young age of seventeen. Being scouted on the streets while shopping with his friends, young Luhan has never imagined to become the huge idol he is today, at the age of twenty-two. He likes singing and dancing, true that, but never has he imagined it would be enough to step into showbiz. The company he's signed a contract with has polished the raw jewel they saw within him, and now here he is, the shining diamond, the still rising star whose fame is rising further, now that he has started to promote in China, his father's home country, as well. It helps a lot growing up bilingual because like this it's easier to communicate with fans all over the globe - well, all over East Asia. He has yet to visit countries outside of the continent though, mainly because he needs to polish his English skills first.

Being popular as he is, one of Asia's hottest singers of today, it does hurt his pride a bit that two nameless - compared to him nameless, though their youtube channel has a good two hundred thousand subscribers already - dancers aren't choosing his songs to dance to. After all, it would be great marketing since Luhan's fans would surely come across that video sometime, boosting their popularity further.

"They're really great dancers though," Soojung pipes in. She's tilting Luhan's face up and gently instructs him to keep his eyes closed. "I think they're attending the youtube awards as well. You might meet them later."




 

*

Luhan is actually past the stage of being nervous when attending these kinds of events. It's not like he has to perform in front of thousands with the possibility of failing and not meet people's expectations, though of course the anxiety and excitement that comes with the hope of winning another award is always there. With the information that two people are coming that he's been dying to meet - and work with, though by stalking their SNS he's seen that they're not planning to go into showbiz; one's a veterinary major, the other's majoring in photography and design - he certainly is nervous now. He might be Luhan, the superstar, but when he's put in a situation where he has to talk to people he admires, his hands start to get clammy and his throat constricts, unable to utter any coherent words, a reaction not different from any other human. He really hopes he doesn't mess this up, because at least, he wants to make a good impression on and make friends with the dance duo he likes so much.

It doesn't help that Yixing is laughing at his misery. They've been working together since the beginning and with the other being only a few years older, they're more like brothers than manager and idol. Yixing is probably more lenient with him than a manager should, but so far they've never been in trouble. No major scandal has happened, proof that they work just fine. It would only be a problem if word gets out that Yixing and Soojung are dating because there's a no dating among staff rule, and at this point Luhan doesn't want to get a new stylist assigned for him. Soojung's the first who's not overdoing it with make up, and apart from that, she's more careful and tender with her hands. He's had countless stylists ripping out his hair before, simply because they've been more forceful, and there were ones groping him, too. He shudders at that.

"I doubt you'll see them," Yixing tries to calm him when they're almost there. Luhan can hear the screaming outside. They're close to the venue, probably just a hundred meters away from where he's supposed to get off the sleek, shiny black car. "There are so many other people attending, don't worry too much and enjoy yourself. I'll see you later."

And at that moment the door opens. Luhan switches quickly into business mode, meaning he is all smiles as he steps onto the red carpet. He waves at the crowd and turns around greeting the other idol who just got dropped off here, pleasantly surprised it's someone he knows. Lee Jieun, also known as IU. They've been filming that drama together, the first drama he was part of, and for that they've also recorded an OST. Right now they are smiling at each other and Luhan offers his arm so they can enter the hall together, meanwhile reporters and photographers are doing their best to get snapshots and a few questions answered that both simply reply to with a smile.

"Did your date ditch you?" He jokes once they've escaped the tumult outside, and gets an elbow in his ribs in return.

"You mean I ditched my date for you," she says, tucking back a strand of hair. "Are you going to enter the hall right away or are you lounging in the foyer for another while?" She asks.

"I think I'll stay here for a bit."

"Suit yourself then. I'll go first, I think Jinri is inside already." She's waving at him and then she disappears through a grand door that leads into the hall room where the festivities will take place. They've rented out a few rooms at COEX this time and Luhan is rather impressed to see how much money they spent on decorations and food – the decorations held in white and gold and colorful flowers all around the room. The buffet is not opened yet, but there are waiters and waitresses walking around and offering snacks along with water or juice - no alcohol before the aftershow party starts.

Luhan feels a bit out of place, standing there all by himself. He should probably go inside, but he’s still hoping to run into Sehun and Jongin. Unfortunately, he can't spot them. They're either inside already or maybe they're coming later. Luhan can't lounge around the entrance area though, not alone and not for longer than ten minutes; some friends of his are already dragging him inside, those friends being labelmates and members of the boygroup SHINee.

It's awfully painful to make small talk with the other singers and actors around him that he knows - not personally but of course he knows them from the media and the occasional encounter at music shows – so he follows SHINee inside. There are some seniors, too, but there's a lot of newcomers and rookies as well. And when he sits among the crowd made of well-known people in the showbiz, all of them good looking and dolled up for an event like this, Luhan still feels a bit out of place. It's been five years, and yet he feels about as green as a newly debuted artists, like a newcomer.

Looking around, Luhan starts to understand the organization and seating plan for tonight. The really famous people are sitting on this side of the stage, meanwhile the youtubers are seated on the other side. They are separated by a red carpet that leads up to the stairs to go on stage. Being separated like this, it is doubtful if the youtubers are even invited to the aftershow party, or if they are able to mingle with the real celebrities.

Luhan keeps to his labelmates. He's talking to Jinki most of the time, but at some point SNSD joins them and that is when the conversation starts to be more pleasant as female wit is added to the mix. Seohyun is exceptionally good at conversing, Luhan notices again, and if she wasn't his well respected senior, his labelmate and taken already, he might have made a move on her at some point. But then again, that would kill both their careers. Possibly. But even if the fans aren’t punishing them, their company would. The no dating among staff rule applies to the idols, too.

"Hey, you won, get up," Minho hisses into his ear. Luhan startles and feels disoriented at first, a bit unbelieving, too, but the spotlight is directed on him while his latest song is playing so he gets up and smiles as he jogs up to the stage to receive his prize. As he stands on stage with the award in his arm, lips almost automatically forming the words appropriate for an award accepting speech, his eyes scan the crowd and stop at a table in second row, over there were the youtubers are seated. He has expected Sehun and Jongin to look and clap as everyone else in the audience would do, but instead, Jongin is leaning his head on Sehun's shoulder as they both seem to be looking at a phone, maybe watching videos or reading something, not paying any attention to what is happening at the front, on the stage. It disappoints Luhan, but he doesn't let that show; he can't. He's an idol, he has been trained for three years prior debut, and as such he needs to stay professional.

"You don't seem too happy," Seohyun whispers into his ear when he's back at his seat. Luhan just shrugs it off as feeling a bit tired.




 

*

Luhan's mood only lightens when he observes 94x88 and realizes they're both not paying attention to anyone much. It's not only Luhan winning an award that they don't clap for, but actually, they don't clap at all. Jongin seems tired, but Luhan can't tell if he's sleeping or not from this distance. He can see that Sehun is threading a hand through the other's hair though, a sweet, almost intimate gesture, but he guesses for two people who have been friends for such a long time - if he recalls it correctly, they both have been friends since their kindergarten days - it seems like a perfectly natural action.

His head whips around at the mention of his name, and Luhan finds the spotlights shining down on him another time. He hasn't paid attention much, but he supposes it's time to go on stage again, so he does, the chants of his fans at the far back accompanying him. There's another award pressed into his arms to join the collection he has at home, and while it's nice to be recognized, Luhan feels rather burdened with each he takes home, wondering if next year he will have as much success or if he's becoming a trend of the past. After all, an idol's life is short-lived.

As he walks off stage, he chances another glance towards the direction of Sehun and Jongin and this time he sees Jongin leaning in to whisper in Sehun's ear, while Sehun is staring right at him. Their eyes meet for a short second and Luhan almost freezes, but a loud whistle and the general cheering keeps him going. He returns back to his seat, wondering if the expression on Sehun's face really has been one of disinterest and boredom or if it's just his own imagination, the fear instilled in his heart that he might not be good enough.

Luhan knows it's not a good thing to be so dependent on other people's opinions, but he has always been a people pleaser, someone seeking recognition from others, someone who wants to be well liked by all. It's not possible, and along with his rising fame he's gotten a bunch of antis, too. He has learned to cope with hateful comments, because for every anti, he has a hundred supporters to lean on and to cheer him on. And knowing that those antis are faceless, coward people hiding and simply aiming at him because of their own meek personal reasons, Luhan doesn't feel quite as bothered as he did in the past. But when it is people he knows, people he wishes to be approved of, then things are different. And right now he's fearing that his current favorite youtube stars might belong to the anti-Luhan club.

"You're a bit pale," Jonghyun remarks, startling Luhan out of his thoughts. "Are you alright?"

Luhan nods and smiles. "I'm just a bit tired. I think I might need a break. The air's getting stuffy in here, too."

Jonghyun hums in agreement. "There are only a few more awards left, they're going to wrap this up soon." Luhan can only hope so.




 

*

It's really just another half an hour of awards being distributed to different people, most of them going to people Luhan knows, other rising stars as him, but currently popular youtubers, too. He's a bit sad to see that while 94x88 have been nominated, they didn't get awarded for their hard work, though if it was Luhan sitting in the jury panel, he would have insisted on handing the award to the duo. He's not biased, no, he is just very impressed by their high quality dance covers.

Luhan has thought about going home earlier, but being in the position he is, it is impossible. It's not good manners to disappear right when the party starts, and Luhan knows that the company expects him to mingle and socialize and present himself from his best side. In the end, it's all about image and publicity, things that are of as equal importance as his actual talent in singing and dance, if not even more important. That is why Luhan is walking around to chat up other colleagues - boygroup and girlgroup members, solo singers, actors and actresses, and even the nation's favorite MCs and entertainers. He feels like he's talked to them all, three hours into the party, and he's exchanged name cards with other important people in the industry, too - photographers, journalists, editors of fashion magazines. It's no surprise that he's feeling exhausted now, but since Yixing texted him earlier that he'd only be there by two in the morning to pick him up, he needs to pass another hour here first. After all, the company expects Yixing to be by his side at all times so they need to be seen going back together.

The room is feeling kind of stuffy with the smell of alcohol and sweat. Though people are trying to avoid any scandals since photographers are mingling with them, there are still people making use of the dance floor. It's mainly group members of the same group dancing together or girl and boy group members of the same agency. There's not many bodies grinding together like one would see in a club, but rather, it is about having fun in a more decent, more polite way. And yet, Luhan can foresee that at least one of the couples here will have their relationship publicized, even if they try their best to be subtle. For example Jieun and Wooyoung. They are awfully close, talking and laughing together, and although their friends are with them, it is most likely that the media will speculate on a possible relationship like they've done so for the past two years, ever since those two have first worked together.

With a sigh, Luhan decides to leave the still crowded space. He thinks he has spotted a balcony before, so he walks around, feeling relieved when finds the open glass door hidden behind curtains. It's a lot calmer out there and there's no one around, except for another person standing in the other corner, smoking quietly. His back is turned towards Luhan who steps close to the railing and looks down, enjoying the sight of Seoul's skyline. It's pretty with all those lights at night, he thinks, but it's not much different from all the other world cities he has visited in his entire life and career (mainly for photoshootings and recordings, not for promotions). Tokyo, Hongkong, Beijing, but even New York, Los Angeles, Paris, Berlin... There is something similar to all those cities and that is the amount of lights deep in the night, as well as the amount of tall buildings that distract the eyes. He rarely notices any stars in the sky when neon boards try to rival and outshine them.

It's when he turns around, bored from staring at the city's landscape that he notices the other's eyes on him and then he recognizes the tall figure being Oh Sehun, the dancer on youtube that he has been kind of fanboying over. He doesn't think that would be a great way to introduce himself and start a conversation though, so he starts with the conventional Hello.

Sehun simply nods and exhales. It makes Luhan cringe since he's not used to the smell of smoke. He doesn't like it, never has, and never will, and somehow, seeing Sehun smoke he feels a bit disappointed. He hasn't expected Sehun to be a smoker but it's not like he actually knows Sehun. It's just the image he has of the other, and probably that is no different from all the other people who have a certain image of him in mind, an image that does not resemble who Luhan actually is.

"You're Sehun, right?" Luhan says then, not wanting an awkward silence to stretch between them, but judging by the looks, Sehun doesn't particularly care. It seems like Sehun doesn't want to befriend him.

"Yeah, and you're Luhan," the boy says matter-of-factly. It sounds a bit hostile, or is it just Luhan's imagination? Nonetheless, the singer decides to continue. It won't hurt to do some small talk to pass time. Yixing won't be here anytime soon and Sehun doesn't look like he's going to leave soon either.

"I really like your dance videos with Jongin," he says. "I kind of thought you would win a trophy for that."

Sehun chuckles, but his expression is softer now, at least that is what Luhan thinks. Those eyebrows aren't knitted together anymore, so that should be a good sign, right?

"Not everyone can win a trophy. Competition is tough," Sehun says. "But it's fine. Being here is already pretty cool. Not everyone can say they got invited to an event like this one."

He sounds friendlier than Luhan would have expected from their short eye contact earlier, so it gives him some hope to maybe establish something akin to friendship between them. Though he will have to be careful not to be used for his fame, but somehow he believes that Sehun is a good kid, despite his habit of smoking.

"Shouldn't you be mingling with people for the full experience then?" Luhan asks. He thinks Sehun's smile just widened that tiny bit.

"I should, but Jongin's been complaining, so we've come here for a supposedly short break from all the people and alcohol."

"Where's Jongin then?" Luhan asks, wondering if he's not going too far with his questions. Sehun might seem friendly, but maybe he's just trying to be polite and not to offend the national star that Luhan is.

"Bathroom," Sehun says. "He should be back soon."

There's silence between them after that. Luhan doesn't know what to say or ask, though he's good at small talk after years of experience. Sehun just doesn't seem like the type to care for a conversation. He's the quiet type of person, Luhan thinks and lets out a soft sigh.

"Tired?" Sehun asks out of the blue, startling an unexpecting Luhan.

"Y-yeah, kind of," he replies and bites on his lip, not too happy with himself for stuttering.

"Idol life is busy, huh?" Sehun continues. Luhan wonders if it's genuine interest or just an act of politeness. He hopes it's the former.

"It is," he replies. “That’s why you’re not thinking about entering showbiz, right? That and he fact you would be restricted by a company.”

"Yeah. Wait, how would you know that?" Sehun asks. Realizing his mistake, Luhan doesn't try to hide the truth anymore, hoping he doesn't sound like a creepy stalker.

"Actually, I'm a fan of your youtube channel. Your videos are great," he confesses and waits for a reaction that he gets instantly.

"Really? Wow, that's dope." There's another silence that feels less awkward than earlier before Sehun continues with a chuckle. "I mean, you're like what, the number one of all male singers out there right now? At least here in Korea, in Asia, so that's like a real compliment."

Luhan can only laugh and shake his head at that. "Being famous doesn't make me different from other people. I'm human, so I can be imp