"Boy, can I tell you a terrible thing?"

◎ ◎ ◎

Wonwoo never wanted it to happen. 

He know his boundaries. 

He know the things that he should do to the things he shouldn't. 

He know he was out of his league. Out of his reach. He wasn't destined to be his. 

But life loves ing him in every way that one day he just woke up realizing that he was making the biggest mistake of his life. Even if his heart screamed that it was, in no form, a mistake 

He love Lee Jihoon. 

He loves him so badly. Wanted him so painfully. And longed for him in every way that he could think of. 

And it was wrong.  

So wrong because it shouldn't be. 

Because Jihoon already belonged to someone else.

Because Lee Jihoon was Kim Mingyu's one true love.

He was his best friend's boyfriend. 

The best friend who was always there when he needed him. The best friend who never left him in times of trouble and the best friend who, although was overbearing, he held dearly. He never planned to fall in love with the boy. He never even pictured himself to go head over heels like how Mingyu was to Jihoon.

But he loves him. 

He loves him so bad that it hurted and tore Wonwoo apart.

◎ ◎ ◎

"Wonwoo..." He felt a tap on his cheek. The boy stirred and slowly blinked his eyes open. A blurry image greeted him, their pink hair was the first that he noticed. Wonwoo blinked yet again, this time he finally recognised the owner of the voice and the soft hand that woke him up. A small smile unknowingly spreading on his lips. "Come on, let's go." 

Jihoon didn't waited for him as he walked ahead. 

Wonwoo stared at the gymnasium ceiling for a while, listening to the sound of Jihoon's footsteps on the wooden floor until a much louder footsteps joined it. 

"Wonwoo!" Mingyu's voice boomed within the walls of the empty gymnasium. It was his cue to finally sat up and fix his things. "Come on slowpoke!" 

The raven haired boy shifted his eyes to where Mingyu's voice was coming. And the image he saw was enough to silently hurt him. The gray haired boy had his arms wrapped around the short boy, affectionately nuzzling his chin on the older's shoulder blade. It took his all to not show how much he was hurting, instead, he took a deep breath and slung his duffel bag to his shoulder, making his way to the couple.

"Come on. Come on! Hurry up! I'm starving!" Mingyu complained as he let go of Jihoon, intertwining their fingers after. His eyes unconsciously drifting to their hands. A feat the duo didn't noticed as Mingyu was already dragging Jihoon away, not even waiting for a response from his best friend.

When had he started to be like this? 

When had he become such a disgusting treacherous friend?

He let out one shaky breath. Taking his all to follow them both to a fast food chain nearby. 

He don't want to do this anymore. 

It hurt so much.

From the beginning, Jihoon was just someone whom Mingyu was obsessed with. In fact he didn't favored him much for his best friend as the pink haired boy did nothing but hurt Mingyu. Although he understands his rejection but he didn't liked him because of how he treats Mingyu. 

Then Jihoon's image started changing in his eyes when he finally got to know him better. Mingyu with his efforts finally paying off,  had made the pink haired boy his boyfriend. 

Surprisingly, Jihoon was caring. Still sadistic but he showed it in every way that he cares for Mingyu. That the tall boy was important to him and he'd do anything that's right for him and his education.

And it wasn't only to Mingyu. 

He also showed that he cared for his friends as well. Jihoon sharing his water bottle to him when he was thirsty was one of the proof. Then when he got sick, while Mingyu was on his kitchen cooking some soup, Jihoon was beside him, wiping his face with a towel. How he accidentally saw Jihoon pick up a stray kitten and take it home. How he'd silently take care of those around him.

How he'd show that he loves them in his own Jihoon way.

And then one day... 

He started to think of his smile. 

His laughs...

... his dedication to the work he's given.

Then he just woke up, seeing the pink haired boy the way Mingyu had describe when he first saw him.

Jihoon radiated under the sun's rays. Everything seemed to stop as he made his way to him. Everyone disappearing and there's only him and the pink haired boy. That that faithful evening where Mingyu took Jihoon from the stage and proposed to him on the rooftop, it was him instead of his best friend.

"Yah!" Mingyu's loud voice woke him from his light trance. He was too lost in his thoughts that he didn't even noticed that they had arrived to their destination. The tall boy was waving his free hand in front of his face with a worried look. "Are you okay? Do you want to go home? We can take out."

Wonwoo swallowed a lump that had formed in his throat. Do he want to go home? The answer should be yes. He should go home and stop this pain he was putting himself in. It was something that a rational person would do. Yet, he shook his head and faked a smile. "No, I'm fine." He roamed his eyes around the place, pretending to be looking for empty seats before mindlessly walking towards one. "I want the usual, I'll pay you tomorrow." 

Although it hurts, he don't want to leave. He didn't want to leave. 

Because...

"You should see a doctor." Jihoon sat on the opposite chair to his. "You've been spacing out a lot lately." 

This was the only time that he could spend his time with the pink fairy.

"I don't need one." Wonwoo leaned back and watched the people passing by the establishment through the glass window. He needed more than that. He thought. His answer obviously didn't pleased Jihoon as the pink haired boy frowned but said nothing.

The short boy played with his fingers, his brows was furrowed as he appeared to be in deep thought. Wonwoo diverted his eyes from the window to Jihoon. He knew the boy was contemplating whether he'd ask him or not and it was one of the traits Wonwoo found adorable. The raven haired leaned forward and ever so slowly he put his thumb on the crease in between Jihoon's eyebrows. 

"Don't frown," He said, thumb not leaving its place. "The idiot doesn't like it when you frown."

Jihoon let out a sigh before slapping his hand away. The short boy leaned back and crossed his arms. "I don't care." 

Wonwoo didn't responded after that. He then again resume observing the passserby with fake interest. He wanted to admit everything to the short boy. To not let this feelings eat and slowly kill him. If only Jihoon was aware of how much he was hurting then he thought the boy will change his mind and will become his instead. 

But it was wrong. It was wrong of him to even think of such. And he was aware how much greedy he was starting to sound.

"Wonwoo..." Jihoon's voice returned him back to reality. He looked serious and it was enough for him to crack a smile. "You know you can tell me everything right? I'm your friend. You can always trust me. Please don't forget that."

If only I really could tell you...

◎ ◎ ◎

"Yeah, I know. No need to remind me." Wonwoo sat on top of his bed as he spoke to his mother on the phone. There were boxes around him, moving boxes to be exact. His wall which was once decorated by posters were now barren. His closet empty, and majority of his things had been packed. "I've packed all of them. Yeah yeah. My passport's with me.'"

The line went silent after that. He heard some rustling on the background before his Mother gave out a sigh.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" She asked in a worried tone. "You know you can always go to college there. We don't want to force you into something that you don't like." 

Wonwoo smiled although she couldn't see it. When his parent's moved out of the country, they had asked him if he wanted to stay or go with them. They always put him first before anything else and he couldn't be more grateful.

"Yeah, I miss you guys and it's about time that I follow you." He said and fiddled with the hem of his shirt. 

"Have you already told Mingyu about this?" His mother then again questioned. "I'm sure that kid would be saddened. You two had always been together."

Mingyu... 

Just thinking of him makes guilt eat Wonwoo. He couldn't continue doing this to the boy. He needs to stop and no one else could help him but himself. 

"Not yet..." He admitted. "I'll tell him... before I leave. Just not this time."

"… okay..." There was a pause until the woman spoke again, this time with a knowing tone. "Always remember that we love you. We will always be here for you." 

"I know..." He smiled and stood up, gazing at the city lights from his apartment balcony. "And I'm forever grateful for that. I love you too. Bye." 

"Bye, Wonwoo and we'll see you."

◎ ◎ ◎

"What's this all about?" Jihoon gave him a questioning look as he went out of their house's gate. He was wearing a white printed sweater and ripped jeans. The short boy tilted his head from left to right, expecting to see another person with the raven haired. "Minggu's not with you?"

Wonwoo took the spare helmet of his motorbike and threw it towards Jihoon, who frowned at him as he caught it with his arms. "Nope." He said. "It's just me, now hop in." 

"Why? And where are we going?" 

"Aish, you ask too many questions." Wonwoo grumbled and pulled Jihoon by the arms, as the distance between them wasn't so far. He took the helmet from the boy's arms and put it to his head himself. His hands lingering on Jihoon's chin who was staring at him. Wonwoo merely gave him a grin and patted the seat behind him. "Come on, before I change my mind." 

Although still suspicious, Jihoon hesistately rode the bike. His hands hovering above the other boy's waist, unsure if he would wrap his arms around him or just held the hem of his leather jacket. 

Wonwoo noticing his hesitation shook his head and pulled Jihoon's arms from behind, wrapping it around his stomach after. "Hold on tight." And Jihoon wasn't able to respond as he sped up. 

"Y-yah! You're going too fast!" The pink haired boy screeched, arms tightening around Wonwoo's waist. "If this is one of Mingyu's schemes I swear—"

Wonwoo laughed —which was slightly muffled by his helmet— and lessened his speed. "Mingyu don't having anything to do with this." Then he speed up again much to Jihoon's distate. He wasn't religious but he suddenly started praying for mercy as Wonwoo evaded each cars with fluid motion. Don't the city have speed limits?! 

Jihoon was clutching so hard on his stomach that Wonwoo was slightly cringing with the force. But honestly? He'd endure it as long as he could have him this close. 

Few more agonizing moments in Wonwoo's bike, the raven haired finally pulled to a stop, which made Jihoon breath a sigh of relief. He tilted his head and caught sight of the Ferris wheel not so far from where they parked.

"Why did you brought me here?" The short boy asked as he climb down of the bike. He eyed the amusement park entrance with confuse look and turned to Wonwoo who was removing his helmet. The tall boy just gave him a smile and pulled Jihoon closer by the hand, much to his surprise. He raised his fingers and unlocked the helmet he was wearing, freeing that pink hair of his. 

"Jihoon." Wonwoo started, his left hand cupping the smaller boy's cheek. A sweet gesture that made Jihoon more confused than he already was. "You said you're my friend, right?"

Jihoon nodded. 

"After this, I'm going to tell you everything that had been bothering me. Everything that you had been asking me." He said before he took a deep breath and let his cheek go. "But before that... can you do me a favor." 

"Wonwoo..." Jihoon furrowed his brows, he had never seen him act like this. His gestures was making the pink haired boy nervous but he promised the boy. He was his friend and he cherished him. "Fine... what is it?"

The tall boy gave him a smile and said the words the at shocked him. "Please pretend... just for tonight..." Wonwoo took a deep breath and slowly intertwined their fingers like how he had always wanted to. His large hand engulfing Jihoon's smaller hand. "That Mingyu never existed."

"W-what—" 

Jihoon was pulled to the entrance before he could even finish his sentence. Wonwoo was holding his hand so hard like he was afraid the moment he'd let go, Jihoon would disappear like how he always did in his dreams.

The amusement park staffs gave them a smile as she handed two tickets even though Wonwoo have not payed yet. "Tonight is our special promo for lovers. We're giving free tickets for couples who are visiting the park around 6-12 in the evening. Enjoy your night!"

The tall boy gave her a smile before dragging Jihoon along with him inside the park. It was bustling with people and usually Jihoon hated being around this huge amount of crowd but Wonwoo's request kept on replaying in his mind. 'Pretend that Mingyu never existed?' It was a horrible request but he can't judge the raven haired until he know the reason behind it. 

"So," Wonwoo spoke first, squeezing their intertwined fingers in the process. "Which ride should we try first?" 

'He looks happy.' The short boy thought. He haven't seen him this happy before. So, even if it's against his better judgement, he silently agreed to Wonwoo's request. He took the phone in his pocket, heart painfully clenching upon seeing Mingyu's smiling face on his wallpaper —something his tall boyfriend set up without his permission—, and turned it off. 

"Let's try the tea cup ride. It's been forever since I last rode one." 

Wonwoo laughed and pulled the boy to where the ride was. 

"Yeah, me too."

A moment of spinning on a humongous cup after, they both staggered to the restroom. Jihoon calming himself as the world continued to spin and Wonwoo directly throwing up inside of a cubicle. The idea of spinning so fast was ridiculous but after a good few seconds, Jihoon burst out laughing. "How can you be such a whimp?" He snickered as Wonwoo continued to throw his dinner and lunch on the dirty toilet bowl. "I swear you're like Min—" Jihoon stopped himself from finishing the sentence when he remembered the favor Wonwoo had asked him. The raven haired was still throwing up at that point but he visibly halted with Jihoon's words.

Wonwoo weakly opened the cubicle door and went to the sink where Jihoon stood. He opened the faucet and washed his face and mouth. Taking a deep breath he turned his face to the short boy and smiled, his nose crinckling in the process. "Let's eat. I saw a Burger stand earlier, I could really eat some good cheese burger right now."

The raven haired was the first to leave the restroom, leading the short boy towards the stand he was speaking of. He had his hands on his pockets, thoughts drifting from here to there. Thinking about what Mingyu would say upon knowing this. That he was practically having a date with his boyfriend. He couldn't help but to smile bitterly. There was a chance that he might ruin their relationship. 

He realized he was the worst type of a person. 

◎ ◎ ◎

"Woah, it's a photo booth!" Wonwoo exclaimed after he finished chewing his burger. His other hand was holding Jihoon's hand who was also eating a burger, faced stuffed with the food. "Let's take a picture!" 

"Yah, we're still eating!" 

"Nonsense! Let's go!" And Wonwoo pulled him inside the tight spaced cubicle. The raven haired was the first to sit followed by Jihoon who was still chewing. Wonwoo finished his food and started to operate the machine, choosing different themes and background. "How about this? This will go well with your pink hair." He asked Jihoon and pointed at the Barbie theme. 

"Do you want to die?" Jihoon asked him with a deadly glare, which Wonwoo merely laughed at. 

"You'll look cute in this though but okay, let's choose the Pororo theme!"

"What are you? Five?"

"Maybe. Say cheese!" And he pulled him close just when the shutter sounded. Their cheeks squeezed together. Next he cupped both of Jihoon's cheeks and scrunched his nose. For the last photo he hugged the short boy closed and smiled at the camera while Jihoon made a peace sign. 

Both boys giggled upon seeing the photo. They looked ridiculous but cute. "Here, you can have this." Jihoon said as he handed him the other copy. 

"Can I have them both?" 

"Don't be greedy." Jihoon lightly knocked his knuckle on Wonwoo's head. Wonwoo grinned wide, his nose scrunching up in the process, and intertwined their fingers again. The raven haired boy took his phone out of his pocket and motioned Jihoon to come closer. "Yah, don't you think we already have enough pictures?" 

Wonwoo laughed and shook his head. "Nope. Now let's take another one." He said as he raised his phone up to take a picture of them together. The tall boy clicked capture and they both smiled, the Ferris wheel served as their background. After Wonwoo was satisfied with their selfies, he slid his phone back to his pocket. "Let's ride that," he pointed at the Ferris wheel. 

"We should try the other rides first. You know the tradition, Ferris wheel comes last." Jihoon stated as he eyed the ride as well.

"How would I know you're not making excuses just to be with me for a little longer?" Wonwoo teased which earned him a punch on the shoulder. Jihoon pouted and made a motion of leaving but Wonwoo pulled him closer to his chest with a chuckle. "I'm just kidding. Let's try the rollercoaster then." 

"Yah, nevermind I'm going home. Jerk." Jihoon was still pouting but let the chuckling Wonwoo guide him to the rollercoaster. Wonwoo let his hands go and back hugged him instead, struggling to walk properly. "You're going to make us fall if you walk like that!" The pink haired boy scolded which was then ignored by Wonwoo who, by this time, choose to rest his chin on his shoulder.

"I don't mind." He murmured. 

Jihoon shook his head and rolled his eyes. "You're crazy." He commented. Wonwoo grinned as he squeezed Jihoon tight. 

They rode the rollercoaster after that. Taking a rest, and drinking some refreshment they choose to ride the carousel. All through which Wonwoo never let his hand go. From others perspective, they looked like a happy couple in love. Being with Wonwoo was fun and for awhile Jihoon forgot about Mingyu. And Wonwoo couldn't be happier that very moment. He had dreamed about this more than once. Him and Jihoon dating. Him and Jihoon holding hands as they walked through the crowded street, unashamed to show the world that they were together.

But all good things must come to an end. 

It was already 11:30 in the evening when they rode the Ferris wheel. Wonwoo slumped down to the seat with a groan, emphasizing how tired he was while Jihoon choose to sit on the opposite seat. The pink haired boy let out a sigh of relief and massaged his shoulder.

"That was tiring." Jihoon murmured with his eyes closed. 

Wonwoo agreed with a grunt. "But I don't mind doing it again." He honestly said to which Jihoon smiled at, until he remembered the purpose of it all.

"So..." The short boy started. "Are you ready to give me answers? The day's almost over." The Ferris wheel had started to move, slowly raising them to the top. The city lights blinked around them, like stars up in the sky. 

Wonwoo smiled, but it was sad and so unlike the smile he had been wearing the whole night. The boy leaned back to his seat and sighed, his eyes gazing at the city before him. He had always thought that he's going to miss this and it seemed like he will miss it more with the memories he had just made with the reason behind his departure. "Truth is..." The raven haired started. "I'm leaving." 

Jihoon frowned. "What?"

"I'm going overseas. To my parents to be exact." He continued, his eyes still lost in the horizon. "I have already packed my things and all the necessary documents are done. I'm going to live there for good. My flight's two days from now."

"Why didn't you told us about this?!" Jihoon angrily stood up from his seat which slightly made the cart wobble. But he sat back upon realizing how dangerous it was. He ran his hand through his hair. "What would Mingyu think? Have you ever thought of what he'd feel?" He questioned his friend, completely disregarding the favor he asked earlier.

Wonwoo humorlessly chuckled which caught the short boy off guard. "What would you think? What would you feel?" He asked with his tone laced with sadness.

"... What... Of course I'd also be sad! No. I'm more angry at you! Why didn't you told us earlier? Two days from now? What the hell, Jeon Wonwoo? What the hell!" Jihoon snarled angrily.

Wonwoo sighed. "You ask me why?" He sadly smiled. "Because it hurts..." Wonwoo clutched his chest to emphasize the pain that he felt. "It hurts so bad that this is the only option that I could think of." 

"W-what are you saying? Yah! Did someone turned you down again? You're leaving because of some girl?" Jihoon's frown turned even deeper at his confession. He don't understand it. He couldn't understand his reason. His gestures that night. Him leaving. All of it. It was making him confused.

"I wish it was just some other girl. In that way I wouldn't hurt this much. I wouldn't suffer this much." Wonwoo stood up from his seat and kneeled in front of Jihoon much to the latter's shock. "But it's more than that..." He added and rested his hands on both of Jihoon's side. Trapping him.

"W-wonwoo..."

"You said that I had been spacing out lately. That I'm not how I used to be anymore..." Wonwoo leaned even closer which made Jihoon's heart nervously beat inside his chest. 

'No...' 

"But you know who's causing me the pain that I'm feeling?" He cupped Jihoon's cheeks with his hands, his thumbs tracing circles on the soft skin. His dark eyes locking in with Jihoon's. He saw different emotions flashed through it and his heart felt tight in his chest. "Boy, can I tell you a terrible thing?"

"I.." 

"Jihoon..." Wonwoo murmured with his lips a few centimeters from the pink haired lips. "I'm in love with you." 

And he enveloped Jihoon's lips just about the fireworks burst out of the night sky. The pink haired boy inhaled sharply at the warmth that he felt. His eyes went wide and he couldn't move due to shock. It started as soft, the raven haired tasted his lips with so much emotions. Nipping, , silently confessing him of what he truly felt about the pink haired boy. Wonwoo's lips continued to move against his, kissing him passionately and full of longing. And he felt it. Wonwoo's pain. His strange affection. His forced smiles.

And without realizing it, tears had fallen from the pink haired's eyes. 

When Wonwoo parted their lips, he also noticed how the tears had fallen into his cheeks as well. The raven haired boy tiredly rested his face onto his shoulder and let his all pent up frustration go. He sobbed. He sobbed so hard that their bodies shook with the force. 

"Why can't you just be mine?" He cried. "I love you so much. So much that every time I see you with Mingyu, I slowly die." 

"Jihoon... I love you..." Wonwoo clutched him like his life depended on him. "I love you so much. But I can't continue this... I can't do this to you... I can't do this Mingyu..." 

"I-i..." Jihoon sobbed, his hands twitching beside him. Unsure of what to do. Of what to feel. "I'm sorry...I.. I don't..." 

Wonwoo's lips was back to his in a split second, stopping him from saying the words that will break his heart into countless pieces.

'Don't apologize...' 

He kissed him with all that he have.

'It already hurt so much...' 

Silently deciding that although he's going to leave...

'Why must I fall for you? Why must it be you?' 

His heart will forever stay here. To where it currently belonged.

'... Jihoon... I love you.' 

◎ ◎ ◎ 

"How could you do this to me?" Mingyu embarrassingly sobbed and lightly punched Wonwoo's shoulder. The other boy chuckled and rubbed the spot that had been hit.

"Yeah! How could you?" Seungcheol added and also gave him a punch of his own.

They were at the aiport to send Wonwoo off. The boy only told them that he was leaving yesterday and although Mingyu was mad at his best friend, he couldn't miss the chance of seeing him for the last time. Hansol was also with them. 

"I'm going to tell Auntie about this! You're so mean! I thought we were friends!" Mingyu exclaimed, still sulking over everything. 

"Do whatever you like." Wonwoo grinned and patted his back. 

"Be careful on your flight, Woo." Hansol said as he gave his friend a pat of his. "Text me your address when you arrive. I might visit you when I return back to America." Wonwoo smiled at him and nodded.

"You're really leaving? Why are you leaving in the first place." Mingyu pouted. Wonwoo merely gave him a smile and pulled him to a hug. He sadly smiled. He didn't offered his best friend any explanation aside from the 'I miss my family' because he know that Mingyu would not be able to take it when he finds he real reason to it. Mingyu sighed and returned back his hug. "I asked Jihoonie hyung to come but he told me he's not feeling well." The gray haired boy explained.

"It's okay." Wonwoo murmured as he let his friend go. "Tell him to get well soon."

A voice spoke along the speakers informing the passengers of the next flight and Wonwoo took this as a sign to finally gather his belongings. "That's my flight." He informed. "So this is it... This is finally goodbye I guess." 

"We'll miss you, Wonwoo. Don't forget to give us a call when you arrive." Seungcheol said and smiled. 

"Yeah! If you don't I'll follow you just to give you a hard punch!" Mingyu threatened. 

"I'll see you, Woo." Hansol said. 

Wonwoo smiled and turned around, making his way to the departure area. His feet felt heavy and it's taking his all to continue walking. He wanted to see 'him' for the last time but he knew he won't be coming. He told him to not come. And he wasn't expecting for him to come after what happened that night. 

But for some reason, while he was in the midst of walking, he stopped. He looked up to the airport's ceiling and sighed. And ever so slowly he turned around to give his friends one last look. 

Instead of seeing them... He saw that person standing just in front him with only a glass wall separating them. His hair was tousled, his gray sweater not ironed, and bags were under his eyes.

'Jihoon...'

"Idiot..." Wonwoo murmured and felt a single tear roll down his cheek. "I told you not to send me off." 

Jihoon let out a sigh as he stared at Wonwoo. Slowly his lips quirked up, forming into a smile. His hand raising to gave him one finally wave. 

And that was all what Wonwoo needed. He reciprocated the smile and turned around just in time to not see Mingyu rushing to where Jihoon was and engulfing him into a hug.

Jihoon was not his...

... And will never be his.

◎ ◎ ◎

Life can do terrible things.

◎ ◎ ◎

fml, y did i do dis? istg i crei. im so srry bby. ily.