I Won't Be Home Tonight.

Word count: 1,672 
Genre: Romance
AU: homesick!kyungsoo ; foreigner!jongin ; inspired by the movie Brooklyn

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America's not as glamorous as people put it to be. 

Kyungsoo thinks this as he sits along the ledge of the beach boardwalk. A place he frequents on certain nights, particularly on nights when he feels a wistful yearning for the distinct air of the Hangang river, or the flower fields along the northern boarder of Gyeongj, or even the crowded train ride to Seoul. He thinks of these while allowing a stream of tears to cascade down his face, ones he's held back for weeks, or even months of trying to pretend he doesn't miss home. Maryland is a beautiful state and many people are kind, but sometimes he finds that it gets quite overwhelming. 

The beach is pretty empty at this hour. Apart from a couple of teenagers who step out for a midnight snack and a few joggers, its definitely the most deserted hour of the day,  considering that the entire length of the boardwalk is practically packed with bustling people from breakfast till dinner. Tonight just happens to be one of those nights when the homesickness hits Kyungsoo hard, tears and snot pouring down his face like an open faucet. 

He has his back turned towards the shops lining the walkway, the sea breeze ruffling his hair and drying his damp cheeks. Often, he would duck his head whenever a passerby glances his way, hiding behind the hood of his jacket and trying his best to stifle his whimpers despite the fact that no one's really made an attempt to pry yet. 

Well, until now. 

 

"Excuse me, are you crying sir?"

 

Kyungsoo has his head turned the towards the opposite direction of the stranger who now stands dangerously close to him.

He had seen him approaching and he had turned away too quickly to actually register how he looks. But from the sounds of it, the stranger is most probably foreign, based on the rich American accent evident in the way he speaks. 

Kyungsoo presses the heels of his palms to his eyes, willing the waterworks to stop as he lets out a hoarse chuckle. "I wish I could say I wasn't." 

Wiping away the tears, he feels something warm lightly press lightly against his side. It takes him a while more of sniffling (the sleeve of his jacket already soaked in snot) before he finally decides that he looks decent enough to face the other. 

He's surprised to find that the boy has heaved himself up to sit beside him, though he faces the lines of shops instead while Kyungsoo faces the beach. Now that he gets a good look at the stranger his first impression is that he's young, but definitely tall for his age. He couldn't tell properly by the poor lighting, but the boy seems to sport a tan that he's probably gotten from his stay at here at the beach. He's wearing...well, close to nothing honestly: A measly (extremely low-riding) tank top thrown over a pair of khaki shorts, hair an unruly mess of bleached blond with henna tattoos lining up his right bicep, and a brown anklet complimenting his yellow flip-flops.

A bit of a trashy, beach-boy, look, if Kyungsoo were to be asked. Although to the boy's credit, he finds that there's something very charming about it. 

"Do you mind if i keep you company?" Said boy asks, again in his thick American accent that would admittedly make any girl swoon, "Well, I honestly think you need it."

Kyungsoo shakes his head, a smile gracing his lips as he averts his gaze to the sea that's hidden in the dark, the only sign of its presence being the sound of its gushing waves "You've already gotten comfortable kid, do I have a choice?"

"Hey I'm 22, that's well above the legal age mind you, so I'd much appreciate it if you called me Kai instead."

Kyungsoo tries the name out, muttering it under his breath before nodding in the silent agreement that it quite suits the boy "Okay Kai. Are you from around here?"

"Oh No, I'm on Vacation. Drove in with my friends from New Jersey. How about you...mr...?"

"Kyungsoo. And don't get all noble, I'm only a year older than you."  

"Ayt then mr. Kyeong sew"

He winces at how badly pronounced that came out, and his annoyed expression didn't go unnoticed by the stranger named Kai, who in turn grins teasingly. "I'm kidding. Kyungsoo hyung."

The older raises his eyebrow at that, surprised that Kai had not only pronounced it perfectly this time, but he had also added in the right Korean honorifics. "How'd you know I'm Korean? I don't suppose you are too?" he says, voicing out his concern. The younger merely his head to the side. 

"Lucky guess? Your name's a big giveaway. I'm only Half. My mother's from Seoul, but my Father's Italian."

"That's...Impressive. Can you speak Korean then?"

"The most I know are the basics. My mother hasn't really been back to Korea in a while so we're both pretty rusty."

"...Italian maybe?"

At the mention of it Kai promptly spits out a plethora of words Kyungsoo couldn't keep up with, confusion clearly written across his face causing the younger boy to laugh and butcher his sentences with chuckles. 

"What a show off..." the older mumbles to himself in Korean, hoping these aren't (bizarrely) part of the "basics" Kai happened to know. Luckily the boy didn't seem to catch it, remaining silent as he chooses to crane his head back and watch the skies.

"Your English is impressive. You almost sound like a native."

"Well I kind of am, I was born and raised in New York." Kai turns his head a bit to get a glimpse of Kyungsoo's expression. The elder's sniffles have finally died down and most of his tears have dried out. "What about you? Are you here for vacay or...?"

Kyungsoo shakes his head "No, I live quite near actually. You'd still have to go past all the resort areas though, before you get to the residential."

"Marylander?"

"No I was born in Gyeongi. It's been about...a year or so? Since we've migrated."

"Oh..." Kai makes a sound of acknowledgement while nodding his head. There's a brief silence that ensues after, a time which the younger takes to carefully slide in his next question. "So...Soo, if I may call you that, ("by all means" Kyungsoo mumbles) why the sad face a while ago?"

Kyungsoo regards him with a scrutinizing gaze, as if to evaluate whether or not he was worthy of this specific piece of information. Though it doesn't take long before he's giving in with a sigh, directing his sight back to his fiddling fingers before providing the much needed explanation. "I just miss home a lot sometimes." He says in a soft, baerly audible voice. 

Kai nods, not really knowing how It feels to be oceans away from home, but knowing that it must pretty bad, based on how he's found Kyungsoo in the first place. 

"I still remember what my friends have told me before I boarded my flight. 

When you get to immigration keep your eyes wide open, look as if you know where you're going, You have to think like an American...You'll feel so homesick that you'll want to die...and there's nothing you can do about it, apart from endure it."

The memory makes his eyes sting with yet another batch of fresh tears. He does nothing to stop it this time, watching it drip drop onto his hands, laughing off the longing that's slowly filling up his heart once more. "But I will." he says, almost as if trying to convince himself. "I will, and it won't kill me."

 

 

 

They listen to the waves silently after that. Neither of them daring to say a word. 

There's something beautiful about the sorrow that envelops them, maybe its way the elements just come together to form a perfect, sad picture, in which the wind is cold, and the skies are dark, and the waves are distant, and the people are few. Together they bask in this beauty, and Kyungsoo allows his heart the honor of feeling. Just feeling what it wants to feel, pouring it all out in hopes of a fresh start by the time the sun rises. 

But Tonight, he feels different. He wants to feel sad, he tries to cry harder, but he couldn't seem to. It's not as painful as it had started out, not as painful as he thought the night would go. Maybe it's because of the strange, yet very welcome presence of the New Yorker named Kai. Maybe it's his kind eyes, and his courage to meddle into other people's lives. Maybe it's that which eases the pain a bit, something else squeezing it's way into his heart, a pinch of...of /something/ other than sorrow. 

And when Kai pats his shoulder and gives him a warm smile with promises of tomorrows, he's suddenly reminded of the distinct air of the Hangang river, or the flower fields along the northern boarder of Gyeongj, or even the crowded train ride to Seoul somehow. His cheeks feel warm when they bid each other goodnight, the nudge to his shoulder a lingering touch that tickles his insides throughout his entire walk back home. When he lies in bed, he feels closer to home than ever before, and he sleeps with a genuine smile on his face, his first in weeks now. 

Kyungsoo knew what migrating meant, he knew that his friends were right. He had those days, those nights, when he felt so homesick he wanted to die, and for the most part of his stay, there was nothing he could do about it. 

But he believed that one day, the sun would come out for him. He might not even know it because it may be faint. 
But when he catches himself thinking about something or someone who has no connection with the past, someone who is only his.
It's then that he'll come to realize that this is where his life is now. And it will be great.