*Words on the RIGHT SIDE between paragrapghs of lyrics are Hyomin's thoughts*

HYOMIN's POV

*Flashback (2 years ago)*

It was Boram unnie's Birthday and along with the other members, we invited Boram Unnie's close friends and families over to our dorm to celebrate this special occasion. 

Everyone is busy enjoying the food and drinks. I saw Jiyeon who just got herself out of a conversation and  decided that today will be the day. 

Signalling to Qri Unnie who had knew my true feelings all this time to cover me, I went forward bravely for Jiyeon. 

"Jiyeon-ah~ follow me." I pulled her quickly away from the living room and brought her into the room. It's now or never. 

Settling down in the room, the both of us sat in the bed. 

"Unnie waeyo?" She looked at me weirdly and asked. 

"Jiyeon, I have something important to say." I started nervously. 

"I'm .... with you." 

"Huh? Unnie, you spoke too quickly"

"Oh.. I meant to say, I'm in love with you.."

I can still remember clearly how shocked she was upon hearing that one sentence.

"Wae? Is it really that surprising? All these years ever since debut I've liked you, don't you notice?" 

"Aniya, unnie. I just..." She was quick to reply trying to prevent me from misunderstanding her.

For that I was grateful, I'm happy to know that she would never want me to look at her in a negative light. 

But in her moment of hesitant, I found the answer I was looking for even though I've not even asked. I knew she did not feel romantically attached to me yet. 

And before long, this confession fell short and ended in a blink of an eye. Knowing that to atmosphere is getting awkward I knew I had to wrap up all this quickly. 

"It's alright, just forget what I've just said. I must be drunk. Hehe.. Probably drank too much outside.."

She gave an awkward giggle and I pulled her out of the room. 

It wasn't a good start, and even though she didn't say anything much. I could feel my heart shattering, maybe I'll ask her again the next time. She isn't ready. 

I opened a can of beer and finished the content in mere seconds, I was never a big fan of drinking but somehow it tasted good this time round. It seems to clear my head a little and brought relief to my aching heart.

And very quickly I was drinking cans of beer one after another until I felt nothing and only wanted to sleep. 

*End of Flashback*

Present

Finally ending our promotions in Vietnam with success, Soyeon unnie suggested that we head for a karaoke session to celebrate before heading back to Korea. 

So here we are with our manager oppas and stylists. Eating, drinking and singing till our heart's content. 

Things started off well until my eyes caught Eunjung eunnie and jiyeon getting intimate with one another. It wasn't a kiss or anything, just snuggling each other's head into the other's shoulder. 

I felt my chest getting stuffy and numb as per usual whenever I feel jealous of whoever jiyeon gets close with. But most of the time when she's with Eunjung unnie. 

Their close relationship started years ago, even before I confessed. But I was sure that I fell in love with Jiyeon way earlier. 

After my failed confession, they seem to have gotten closer. I don't know why, but I'm sure that my heart continues hurting every single time they were close. 

I know for sure that jiyeon knew I still have feelings for her. And I can tell she trying to force me into giving up all this while by getting close with Eunjung. 

But it didn't work. 

It would be better if it did though, a quick fatal blow to my heart and kill the love I had for her. 

However, every now and then whenever she tries to make me give up. She fails, and it was like a sword slowly plunging into my heart causing only pain. 

And for 2 whole years,  it was like a torture. Death would have been easier. 

I grabbed a jug of beer and refilled my cup, finishing the content in one go, I decided that I can't bear the pain anymore. I decided to pick the easy way out, it is to "die" instead of staying "alive" and be tortured. 

Isn't it a frightening thought that in one fraction of a moment one can fall in the kind of love that takes a lifetime to get over.

It's gonna be difficult, trying to remove a love for someone that I've held so close for years. But I have to, no matter how much I'm in love, infatuated, in need of her.

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