It's been 5 years since our debut...
A lot changed...
The way we talk ,the way we look, the way we act...
Our fans react in different way...
A lot changed...
The way u look ,the way you are , the way u act...Our fans are gettin' crazy when they see you...Same for me... At first I didn't realise...or maybe I did....But I didn't want to admit it...
Like hey, you're a guy and I'm a guy... But when I got to know who u are to me ,then it was too late...
Too late to feel something... Too late to make u stay... Too late to make u mine...
I still remember the younger days when u sang on one of the fanmeetings , that special part...
Special for me... I still remember it clearly...

"I see swimming pools and living rooms and aeroplanes"
~You closed your eyes so I closed mine too and tried to imagine all of that...

"I see a little house on the hill and children's names"
~ I had seen that...two kids running happliy , then stopping and writing their names on the path...

"I see quiet nights poured over ice and Tanqueray"
~ Then I saw that two kids all grown up...They were just sitting on the couch silent, like something unwanted happen...

"But everything is shattering and it's my mistake"
~ That two kids were us...But u weren't there it was only my wish to have u there, it was only me that was wrong...

"Only fools fall for you, only fools"
~ I opened my eyes and saw u...The way u sang it... was so beautiful... I smiled a little ,but I wanted to hide it right away...

"Only fools do what I do, only fools fall"
~ I looked up and saw that u were looking at me,me who was mouthing that part...U smiled, like an angel...Like an beautiful angel...Who was singing...

"Only fools fall for you, only fools"
~ I mouthed that too...And I felt a tear in my eye...A tear that wants to fall...Cause I was a that fool that actually had fallen for you...

"Only fools do what I do, only fools fall"
~ I put down my head ,cause that tear had fallen...So I waited a bit , till it reaches my lips ,so I can " out" of it... So no one would see... I lifted my head again and saw it... The way he looked at you...The way he smiled and the way that YOU smiled back... I felt that in my heart it's something more than just friends between us...Actually it was only me... That I feel something much more... It was the day when I realised that it wasn't just friends and u weren't just bandmate... I could feel that was something more...

That day was special and that song became special for me. Do you remember that day when u had to hear a word "thank u" from me? The same day that u told me that I look so handsome ,so good-looking and such? I knew it...I knew it wasn't actually real. I wanted to know that you are doing this ,becouse u like me. I felt like a belarussian person...Like I knew that something beautiful and wonderful just can't be real , it was too good to be real. I had my feelings since the day I met u, but at first it was just light feelings. Like I knew that I like u so much and day by day it was just more and more. Then suddenly I felt that there is something wrong. I was amazed each time I saw you.
You were so wonderful...
The days when u allowed me to hug u or when u were holding my hand.
The day when u backhuged me so everyone could see...
Everyday I'm so sorry, that I misunderstood you...
So sorry... Sorry that I couldn't keep myself together....
That I was the only one wrong... Even though I knew I said it....
I was so scared... anyway... I knew that I could loose you...
But even though that I said it... Sorry...
I misunderstood again... I know I shouldn't, but I did...
I am so sorry...
I never wanted to hurt you...You were my only one....
I loved you... I missed you... I cared...
But it turned out like this... Why? Tell me why....
Why I am alone in love, why I am alone in this feeling?
why I am the only one that feels this way?
Why I am in love without the other one...Begin here alone...
Without you...
I wish I could have you here, be with you here. I'm looking at the people from here...
Sitting alone and seein' a lot of couples down there...
I still remember, the way you looked at me when I told you that, it's okay to be bad at something, sometimes.
I accidentaly looked at you then and I smiled saying:
 

"To me and to them you are perfect... Don't be sad over one note in the whole song... Cause you're still amazing...To me and to them..."

You...The feelings in your eyes...The way you moved closer and that...we...almost...kissed... Cause your face and your lips were so close. My face was close to you and I could feel your breath on my mouth. I was trembling and I couldn't move, when I said:

" You're perfect, no need to worry, our little Jung..." 

U pressed your lips against mine... Sorry that I misunderstood. But I still remember their taste and how nice and soft they were. How much I wanted it to make it forever.... How much I wanted it to stop and rewind... Don't play it, just stop, rewind and repeat. U were always like a song that I wanted to keep on replay. When you stoped my heart was racing like crazy. I was going crazy... I was a trash. I looked at you with trembling heart and shiver. You... You smiled like an angel, like an beautiful angel. Then you stood up and went to others, cause it was time to go. I went by eye with you. Then it hited me hard... That...What just happend... I could just smile... As I was stupidly thinking that I wasn't alone with my feelings.I walked out of our room, happy as never before. I entered our van and I sat next to our... actually your...only your friend Taehyung. We joked then about old songs and other things. I was overhelmed with that we had something in common. Like we were both from Busan. I liked the way you smiled then. Or... Maybe... It was only me...
When you backhuged me at music awards, I felt that butterflies in my stomatch. U were so close and you said something into my ear... I don't know what was it... I was overhelmed with the fact that you were so close. I don't know why I was like that... It didn't actually matter to you, how I felt, as I was no one to you. The time when there was a question if you like me... You said "Of course I like Jimin hyung" I was so happy to hear that... But it was too late.. Too late becouse I had all of my feeling somewhere else... As I promised myself to not to let you know. All I wanted was to have you.. But I promised myself that I will keep my distance... That I won't go near... That I won't make troubles. The years were passing. One by one... Until our 5th anniversay, when we held a big fanmeeting with fansigning. At that time there were a lot of your covers already. We held a fanmeeting, where our fans were giving us questions and request. There were so many different propositions. There was a request... You had to choose one of the songs that you covered, but there were only those less popular. 
You sing that song... One of your covers... It was my favourite, Hoseok, Jin's and even Yoongi favourite... Only Taehyung didn't like it. I still remember it all. I was shivering when I heard your voice then...

"Time waits for no one"
~You started to sing... With that not so usual voice. It was much deeper and lower. I never thought that you can sing with that kind of like morning, bed voice. I was amazed of how deep your voice were. I was like all frozen. All of the world started spinning in my head.

"So do you wanna waste some time, oh, tonight..."
~The way you looked at fans and the way you turned for a short while to the rest of us. I couldn't say anything. That look... There was no cute maknae that I used to know.

"Don't be afraid of tomorrow"
~Your voice was deeper and deeper and I just couldn't help myself, but to smile a little. The way you hold the mic, you looked so freaking manly and inhuman. I was maybe just looking at your back, but even your back looked amazing. Then I saw that you closed your eyes.

"Just take my hand"
~You sang that with such an emotion that I thought that you actually wanted the other person to hold your hand. With that closed eyes you smiled. I could hear that our fans, for the first time in forever, were so quiet. They wanted to enjoy with your voice. They were really pleased with that, same as me.

"I'll make you feel so much better, tonight"
~Then you started to sound like you were just about to make our fans wet. Not only them...But Armys, our the most noisy and crazy fandom, were so silent. I could hear a fly that was flying through the room. I could hear how a few fans moaned quietly, becouse of you. Your voice...once more...it was perfect. The way you sang... It was precious...

"Suddenly our eyes are open, everything comes into focus"
~You opened your eyes and bend your head a bit. You sang like you were possesed by this song, like it was your whole life. Like you would wait for this moment for your whole life. Actually it was your life. You were often like that. You were the one who could change everything.

"we are all illuminated, lights are shinning at our faces"
~You...your face looked so different from usual. U were like a...master. Yes, that's the word. I could call you master then. If u would just once call me with that voice, I would definetly answer "yes, my master?". Like I could've been your very special slave. I was at loss of words, cause you were so fu*king perfect. I wish I could've touch you then.

"Blinding..."
~I was thrilled by your voice... I imagined all kind of things... Then you turned to us a bit. You went with your sight across our gazes and u looked each of us in the eyes. So we could feel even worse, worse in good meaning. Like to feel the pleasure that none of us should feel. Like we could get to know what you became. A perfect man, like no one else.

"We are..."
~You looked at me, with that possesive and full of lust gaze. I felt like dying..I could just die then...Just collapase there... I've never imagined that you would look at me, with your own eyes, at me...like that...

"We are..."
~You looked at Taehyung....and you both smiled...But that wasn't a friends smile...It was something more...Something that I can't just tell by words... Like I actually already knew...what was going on between you two...

After you finished I really didn't know what do to with myself. The next part of the fanmeeting.
Taking fans requests and answering fans questions. We had funny requests too.
Some of them were like dance into the rythym of German rap... That was the funniest one.
We got a special, golden request.
As some of the fans bought the golden package, so they could make gold and platinuim requests.
The golden request was to sing "House of Cards".
We sang it,as requested. We were kind of emotional singing this song.
Maybe it was only me, but it felt like this. Then we had that part where we're both singing.
When our voices are becoming one. I looked at you and saw that you were so emotionaly into that.
Then you looked at me...... With those eyes... That were so full of emotions and pride...
That eyes that wanted just to take me away... I could get lost in them...
I sang with even more emotions too. Then you smirked and gazed even deeper into my eyes.
Then you smiled, so I had too.You were like devil, that had a smile of an angel. I like the way you smile, but I hate it...
How you act...
The one as I said...
One of a kind, but not mine...
We finished with "stay", I smiled to you, but you seemed so uninterested to even react to that.
It was kind of painful...
How you were...
The same day, the same fan event, fans asked you to choose a member that you love and the one that you like the most... None of them were me...
Fans asked you "Why not Jimin?", you just said that you like me too, but not that much as them.
I was really upset after that day...
I couldn't smile for next few weeks. I still remember how sad I was and how I told then myself that this feeling will disappear soon, that it will dirft away.

Your behaviour was different in dorms.
You were different person.
In dorms you were mostly like a cute maknae or when you weren't in mood to play with others,
you were like a all grown up man.
You were different... I knew that... My life... I was nothing...
I was fool that had fallen for you....
I could see your face everyday. I could talk to you. See how you move...
Ah, why am I crying again...
No one will hear me anyway...
A fool like me...
Why did I fall in love with you? 

I remember the day when you came to my room.
It was 2 years ago. I thought that it was, becouse of me.
You sat on Hope's bed, smiled and looked through the room. You stood up and walked to my bed.
I felt that you sat on the other side, as the bed bend a little under your weight.
You layed back on the bed and I could see your young face. I looked at you and said.

"Jungkookie~ What you want from hyung?"

You just smiled and crawled to me. You looked really cute. That lovely little nose, those beautiful dark eyes, that a bit messy hair. That old t-shirt that we've bought right after our debut. That cute smile that was playful at the same time... I loved everything about you...

"Hyung~I want you to make me a sandwich and I'll make your day happier"

Like a real cute maknae. Then you started to draw something with your finger on my thigh.
I tousled your hair a little. After a short while I stood up, carefully placing a pillow under your head.
Then I went to the kitchen. I saw that Taehyng came in and I've welcomed him with a hug, it was shorth though, cause he wanted to take off his shoes fastly. I just looked at him a bit shocked, but I was okay with that.
I came in to the kitchen, taking off my blouse, cause Jin would be mad if my sleeves went to the food.
I took some bread from the breadbox and some tomatoes, lettuce and cheese from the fridge.
As I supposed, Jin came in too. It looked like he had a worse day. I didn't ask what happend, as he seemed like he didn't want to answer.

Now I know that, he probably knew then, about all and how it really is. Truthfully Seokjin liked only 4 guys in our dorms that much. It was Yoongi, Namjoon, me and of course no one else but Taehyung. I thought he knew...

I took the plate with the food I've made and went to my room. I saw that doors were unclosed.
There was a little space, from where I could see...
What I saw...I shouldn't see it...
I saw that Taehyng hugged you and your face looked so happy, when he did that.
I could hear what he said to you. It was kind of like nail to my heart.
But you didn't know... Same for me...I thought that it was all in friendly way... 
"But remember it's just between our two, it's our sweet secret".
Then you kissed his cheek. You both smiled happily. I could feel that alien were the alpha one.
You were both so happy. He had his hands on your back.
I was so confused with that, but I just couldn't look away. I watched it.
How you massaged his neck a bit with your hands, how pretty and angelic your smile was.
Then I saw that Taehyng pulled you even closer to him and his face was just a few inches away from your face.
You said nothing much, but "Hyung stop...Jimin will come here soon", but that that guy Taehyung...
He just....He pulled your head closer and almost kissed you.
At that time I already knew that I couldn't allow that, so I opened the door. Suddenly u pushed him away.

"Oh! Jimine~ Woa!  You're so fast!"

I was quite confused, but the way he, our maknae, smiled at me, made me forget what just I saw.
You were kind of shocked that I came in so fast...But the way you stayed still as nothing happend , the way you smiled... Only fool...
Only fool like me would actually forget it right away...
Only fool like me would feel happy only after one smile.
I loved you, you never knew how much.
I liked you, I said it about a billion times.
I felt actually weird when you once said that you like me too.
But it wasn't when the fans were around, there were only me and you....

You drank with me for the first time then. You were that drunk that you hugged my thigh and you kissed it. We were on the sofa in the living room. I was reading some stuff on my phone, as I didn't thought that you want to talk to me, as I made u drunk. But you kissed my thigh...That was the point that I looked at you... I felt like Mina from Dracula musical. As I w