Freedom.

Kyungsoo seeks for that feeling, of flying up above the blue sky. His body gliding through the cotton soft clouds, never to fall and suffer. He braced his small body for the impact, because everything that is tall and mighty will taste a hard crash.  

"Do you want it?" he rasps, choking a whimper. 

"Yes," the male before him nods. "I want us to start over."

Jongin looks at him with sharp eyes, one that belonged to a man that will not back down from making a rash decision. It is quite typical for him, acting in the spur of the moment. Kyungsoo didn't blame him, though.

It was the start of Summer, when they first fell in love. Kyungsoo had his fingers tangled with Jongin's as they talk about puppy names. The corner of Jongin's eyes crinkles as he laughed, reminiscing Kyungsoo's fear of bees. They wasted their day with nothing but the idea of togetherness, of a promise and faith. They promised a forever. 

Kyungsoo swallows a big lump forming in his throat. As if he could eat his heart up. "Will you be a better person, Jongin?"

Said man lifts his head, somewhat unsure. He can't promise anything. "Even I have limits, Soo."

It always warms him, whenever Jongin called him that. Kyungsoo loves him too much that the sound of his name upon Jongin lips could sew his torn heartstrings back. "Then, what can I offer you, if I ever agree to these term?"

Tilting his head, Jongin ponders. He is still uncertain of his wants and needs. 

"Will you treat me better, Jongin?" Kyungsoo pushes, growing impatient. 

"Boundaries, Soo. There's a line you don't want to cross."

Gritting his teeth, Kyungsoo bites back, "Show me where it is, so I can be careful with you."

At this, he couldn't take it any more. Kyungsoo's eyes blurred as tears gathers, forcing it way out. Kyungsoo allows fat droplets of his frustration rolls down his cheeks, as his love turn dry. 

Jongin doesn't move. He lets him. Always, it is always Kyungsoo that picks up the pieces and glue them together. He has learned this from past experience, too many hurtful events. One or two still etched in his soul. Jongin knows, but still, he allows it. 

"We're friends, Soo." he confirms it again, as if he didn't break Kyungsoo moments ago. "I want us to move on from the past. We'll start from a blank slate."

There's more to it, Jongin wants to add. But he is too ed up to be honest. He is born a receiver, and he doesn't provide. Kyungsoo is just too desperate to hold on. 

"Fine," he finalizes, even if it wound him inside out. "As you wish, Jongin."

Kyungsoo gives him a small smile. His mind drifted back to all the memories they have shared. What was once beautiful, is now a painful reminder of true happiness. 

"I am glad we have this conversation," Jongin starts to gather his books. Kyungsoo watches him in silence. "I have to head to class in ten minutes. Is there anything you'd like to ask?"

Yes. 

Why, Jongin?

You touched me, body and soul. I was your first; the first person that moved you. You held me, from the tips of your fingers to the span of your arms. I was once in your embrace. 

We shared places, Jongin. Your lips lands on my skin, warm and sweet. Even by the contrast of our temperature, you were able to soothe me. I am frozen and you thawed me, like it was that easy to change seasons. You marked me like a treasure island, and I stood beside you. Waiting for discovery. 

Who are you? 

"No," Kyungsoo whispers. "Everything is fine, for now."

"Are you okay?" Jongin dares to ask. 

"I'll be fine, I promise." Lies. Kyungsoo lies every single time. 

The man with brunette hair shifts closer, his arms open and inviting. "I know this will make you feel better."

Kyungsoo feels smaller when Jongin hugs him. Never had he felt ridiculed before. If there's any reason to compare it, it is as if Jongin sets up the fire and decides to extinguish it with fuel. But Kyungsoo returns it, wishing that it stays longer so he could remember the smell of his cologne. 

"Thank you, Jongin." 

"You're welcome, Soo." and there it is again, Jongin's boyish smile.

They detached their bodies, with the tall male readying himself for his class. Kyungsoo has a free period, and decided the fastest speed he could muster to run and cry in his dorm room. 

Jongin turns and waves, promising their next meeting. Kyungsoo blinks away his worries and pretend he is well, when he knows he is not. As soon as Jongin is out of view, Kyungsoo closes his eyes. 

Freedom. At last. 

Last Summer, Kyungsoo told Jongin about his incident with his past lover. Jongin, a caterpillar in love, accepts it. Kyungsoo passes that stage of being gullible. At some point, Jongin cracks and turn into a cocoon. Isolating him. Creating walls of white high enough that Kyungsoo can't reach it. 

It is a blessing that Jongin dares to dig a small hole, allowing little by little of Kyungsoo back in his life. 

A restart. 

Will it be better? Kyungsoo wonders as he covers his face with his palm. 

He takes a deep breath and proceed to walk back to his room. Today, Kyungsoo decided to break free. Open his wings, steer back to where he intended. In search for an opportunity, now that things no longer held him back. 

Such opportunity being an acceptance letter in a prestigious university. Jongin has no clue of it. 

Author's note:

Hello! I am back again, writing in a depressing state. Things hasn't turn out well for me, but I am staying idle at the moment. I am trying my best to be calm and accepting things the way it is. As per mentioned in the foreword, this is what happening to me with my significant other. This is not intended to further encourage my sadness, but a wake-up call to all the ladies and gents out there. Get out and achieve your dreams. I've been stuck in a loop ever since the issue, and now I am back on my feet as we reached our closure. 

Please leave a comment below, if you like it. Thank you! ♥