It’s not fair to either of them for Jungkook to treat them with any hostility. Neither of them knew how he felt. How when Jimin reaches to touch Yoongi he wants nothing more to stand up and walk out of the room. How when Yoongi looks at Jimin with a tenderness Jungkook never thought he was capable of his chest feels tight and too full at the same time.

Jimin had fallen in love with Yoongi first, he knows this. But Jungkook couldn’t stop himself from falling for Yoongi and his gravelly voice, pale skin and pretty hands. Yoongi had fallen in love last. Had fallen in love with Jimin when Jungkook was in too deep with his feelings and it was too late for him to try to stop loving Yoongi. It had been clear that when they first started dating that Yoongi was unsure of how things would go with Jimin, and maybe Jungkook shouldn’t have held on to the hope that Yoongi just wouldn’t be able to bring himself to feel the same way for the other boy but he still did. He still did and it was stupid of him. If the sincerity of his feelings and Jimin’s kindness didn’t have Yoongi falling for him, his pretty face, sculpted body and beautiful voice would have.

In some ways he was glad that Yoongi had picked Jimin over him. He doesn’t know how Jimin would have handled the rejection, if he would ever have been able to talk to the older boy again. Jimin had always been so nice to him, Jungkook almost wouldn’t be able to bear knowing he was the cause of the other boy’s sadness. Almost.

He’s known them both for a little over two years now, ever since he first started at the university. Jimin had been kind enough to show him around and he had met Yoongi when he had found the other boy sleeping on the floor of the communal bathroom. As it turned out they all had mutual friends and ended up seeing each other much more than any of them had anticipated. He grew fond of Jimin quickly, even if it didn’t seem like it to anyone else. The way the boy would do anything for his friends, the comprises and lengths he would go to for them was something Jungkook had never been at the receiving end of before. It made him feel appreciated and strangely happy, but Jungkook was never good at expressing his feelings.

Yoongi was someone he had always respected, maybe even admired, but at first he had found it hard to talk him by himself without stumbling over his words. This is all changed after one night where the two of them, both slightly drunk, had a heart to heart and confessed that they weren’t going down the paths they wanted. After that Yoongi spoke to him more, smiled at him and remembered small things about him that no one else would, like how he likes his kimbap with full grain rice instead of white. Jungkook had always been aware of how attractive Yoongi was, with his lithe frame and fragile features, the older boy was somewhat ethereal in combination with how pale he was. It could have come across as intimidating, but the way his features light up when he smiles and how his laugh brought colour to his cheeks made Jungkook want to look at him forever.

But being so close to the two of them, it was hard for Jungkook not to notice Jimin’s feelings. How his touches would linger on Yoongi and how he would look at the other boy when he thought no one was watching him. When he’d finally gotten the courage to confess and ask Yoongi on a date, the first person Yoongi had gone to was Jungkook naturally. His throat had felt tight as he listened to Yoongi talk about how he had never thought of Jimin in that way before, but that there was no way he could’ve said no to him in that moment. It made him realise that his situation with Yoongi was probably very similar, Yoongi had only ever seen him as a friend, a younger brother and Jungkook had never given him any clear indication to think otherwise. He nearly chokes on his words when he advises Yoongi to take it slow and to remember to take into account his own feelings and not just making sure Jimin was happy. Yoongi thanks him and when they hug Jungkook holds on for slightly too long but the other boy doesn’t say anything.

He realises his words may have made Yoongi think more about his feelings for Jimin than if he had said nothing. May have made Yoongi fall in love with Jimin faster than he would’ve on his own.

When they make it official in front of all their friends Jungkook’s mouth hurts from forcing himself to smile.

He busies himself with his studies, it gives him an excuse to not see them when they ask him to come out with them. He forgoes sitting with them at lunch and speaking to them during lectures, his excuse for the latter being that at least he doesn’t want to fail his classes.

Taehyung sees right through him, the looks he gets from the older boy are sympathetic and far too sad and it makes him feel pathetic. At least he’s a good distraction. He talks to Jungkook when the other two are caught in their own world, steers him away from the couple when they’re being too touchy with each other. When he asks Jungkook if he wants to talk about it Jungkook feigns ignorance and receives a disappointed look.

But Taehyung can only distract him when he’s around.

One night, Taehyung is bed bound by the flu, and Jungkook, being the good roommate that he is, goes out to ask for antibiotics. Many people living in the dormitories had fallen ill over the past week. It’s only natural for him to go to Jimin, the boy is kind and hates seeing people suffer, his roommate Namjoon had been sick and Jungkook figures they’d have something left over. Medicine is expensive and hard to come by without a prescription and he just needs it so Taehyung can feel better.

He should’ve knocked, should’ve announced he was coming in before pushing open the unlocked door to Jimin’s dorm.

When he looks inside he sees Jimin, back pressed against the wall and hands gripping the bedsheets beneath him, with Yoongi sitting in his lap, the younger boy’s lip into mouth. He quickly steps out but can’t bring himself to just look away and leave, no matter how much of an invasion it is to such an intimate moment.

Yoongi has his hands on either side of Jimin’s face as they kiss. He angles his head upward, Jimin chasing his mouth, before running his tongue along the other boy’s lower lip. Jimin keens, his voice high and airy, and moves his hands to grip at Yoongi’s thighs, the kiss deepens and one hand moves to Yoongi’s . Yoongi disconnects their lips and a low chuckle escapes his lips. He opens his eyes and Jimin whines at the loss of contact. The air is heavy as the two breathe each other in, Yoongi’s gaze intense and unwavering on Jimin’s face making him blush and look away. Jimin’s chest rises and falls as Yoongi moves one of his hands to run his fingers through Jimin’s orange locks.

“I love you.”

Jungkook feels a weight in the back of his throat and closes the door as quietly as he can. He sinks to the floor and cradles his head in his hands. There’s a wetness around his eyes and he looks around to make sure no one is around to see him.

It’s hilarious and sad how much he wants Yoongi to say those words to him instead. To feel his hands cupping his face and his lips on his own. To have Yoongi look at him the same way he looks at Yoongi when the older boy isn’t looking, with adoration and a softness that’s suffocating because he knows there’s no one else he looks at like this.

It takes a few moments for his ragged breaths to return to normal. For him to be able to swallow without feeling like he’s going to throw up. He looks up at the ceiling and tries to blink away the tears he has in his eyes. One escapes and he wipes at it harshly. He pushes himself off the floor and heads back to his dorm.

He doesn’t know when it starts. When Yoongi and Jimin start to fall apart. He’s at a point where he’s avoiding them for days on end and none of his other friends talk to him about them, knowing how much it would upset him.

So when he runs into Jimin in the hallway of the natural science building he tries to be casual and hasty to get a move on. But what stops him is the dark circles around Jimin’s swollen eyes, and the way the other boy looks like he may cry at any moment. He makes a promise to hang out after Jimin mentions how little they’ve seen each other lately and that he misses him. He wonders what could make the ever smiling Park Jimin look so sad, something he had never seen to this extent before.

They meet for coffee after Jimin’s afternoon lectures, Jungkook offers to pay and Jimin just smiles weakly at his offer, which is so out of character for Jimin, who always insists to pay or at least split the bill.

He learns that Jimin and Yoongi are fighting, they haven’t spoken for two days and some sick part of him is happy. The rest of him comforts Jimin as he recounts the hurtful things he had said to Yoongi, how he doesn’t even quite remember what they were fighting over. The part telling him to be angry at Jimin for saying those things about Yoongi is suppressed as he reaches over to hug the older boy, he feels tears soak through his jumper and Jimin apologises in choked words that sound painful for him to speak.

When they part Jimin looks worse than he did before but thanks Jungkook for listening. He gulps down his guilt as he tells him it’s no problem.

Taehyung is out for a study group when Jungkook hears a knock at the door of their dorm.

It’s the day after his coffee with Jimin, he’s still torn on how to feel and his conscience sits heavy in chest. He’s perched on his bed, computer in his lap and dressed only in a white t-shirt and checkered boxers. He sighs as he stands up and makes his way to the door, not bothering to cover up more.

When he opens the door it’s to an exhausted looking Yoongi who asks to come in. He sits on Jungkook’s bed and said boy leans back on the door after he closes it. Yoongi doesn’t meet his eyes for a few moments and Jungkook can hear both their breaths as he waits for the other to do something.

Yoongi pats the space next to him and Jungkook makes his way over.

It becomes clear that while Jimin may not remember what they were fighting over, Yoongi certainly does. Maybe it’s because they’re fighting over something closer to Yoongi, something that he cares about more than Jimin.

“Jimin doesn’t get it, he doesn’t understand how hard it was for me to give in to my parents. He says I should be happy that I’m going to get a degree so that I can get a steady, well paying job and that my parents care enough about me to push me to it.”

As Yoongi explains how Jimin had belittled his insecurities and worries and called him selfish, Jungkook can only listen and offer words of agreement. He does after all relate, not wanting to study medicine but being forced to by his parents or risk being disowned. Yoongi tells him the unmodified versions of what Jimin had told him he said to Yoongi. He’s shocked that such cruel words had come out of Jimin and isn’t surprised when he feels Yoongi shake beside him.

When Yoongi brings up a trembling hand to wipe at his eyes, his sweater covered elbow grazes Jungkook’s thigh and he isn’t entirely sure if he oversteps his boundaries by pulling the other boy into a hug. He can’t bring himself to care when he feels the way Yoongi deflates into his frame and exhale heavily against his shoulder. He wraps his arms around the boy’s torso and Yoongi stops trembling after a while.

They break up the following week. Every time he sees Jimin his eyes are red and puffy and every time he sees Yoongi he looks dishevelled and beyond tired.

He sees more of Yoongi though. The older boy making more time to see him now that he’s less preoccupied. He also senses that Yoongi may feel guilty for making such small efforts to see him when he was Jimin, although he has no proof of this.

It’s almost as if the last five months hadn’t happened, like there was never a time where they didn’t speak or at least text each other on a daily basis. Yoongi acts like nothing has changed for the most part.

Except they have, there’s an empty space in their conversations where Jimin used to be. Jungkook still sees him, in lectures and around campus, the dorms specifically. After two weeks Jimin seems brighter, more like himself and Jungkook slowly stops feeling guilty for still having feelings for Yoongi. They both tell him it’s probably for the best they broke up, things weren’t going to work out between them anyway. Jungkook just finds that it’s a shame that their prospects for a platonic relationship are seemingly ruined too. But after a month they start talking more again. Jungkook walks in on them laughing quietly over something or other in the lounge area and it gives him great relief to know they’re on better terms, even if the air between them will always be awkward.

After three months Jungkook realises Yoongi starts acting slightly differently around him. It starts with lingering touches and shared looks that make his stomach churn. One time when they’re at the cinema together watching a movie, Yoongi reaches over the armrest to place a tentative hand on his fingers. When they say goodbye to part that evening Yoongi’s gaze strays to his lips and Jungkook at them self consciously. Yoongi’s eyes quickly snap back up to his and he smirks before heading on his way home.

When they eat lunch with Taehyung in the university’s cafeteria he feels Yoongi’s eyes on him even as Taehyung tells them a story about the girl who had come to his astrophysics lecture thirty minutes late and interrupted the whole class. He tries to ignore it and give Taehyung his full attention, but everytime he looks back at Yoongi those dark brown eyes find his and he blushes before looking away. He shifts slightly in his seat only to have Yoongi’s calf graze his own.

He brings Jungkook sports drinks when he comes over sometimes, knowing Jungkook’s schedule well enough to know that he’s often been out for a jog right before he visits. He helps him by getting notes for biology from his older friend when Jungkook complains about the professor speaking too fast for him to write anything down. It’s little gestures like these that have Jungkook feeling giddy and nervous at the same time.

Yoongi is over for a movie night when he kisses Jungkook for the first time.

His hands reach up to cradle his face and it’s everything Jungkook had thought he wanted. But it isn’t, it’s too much like the way he had seen him kiss Jimin. Jungkook isn’t Jimin, he wants the parts of Yoongi the Jimin didn’t get to have, to make Yoongi his own. He pulls Yoongi’s hands away from his face and rest them on hips, moving over to sit in Yoongi’s lap and his own hands in the front of Yoongi’s shirt.

Yoongi’s lips are soft and slick and Jungkook parts his own to let Yoongi’s tongue into his mouth. Yoongi tastes like coffee and mint and all of Jungkook’s senses become overwhelmed with Yoongi, Yoongi, Yoongi. The older boy’s hands move up his sides, one slipping around to support his back as he hoists Jungkook up slightly to deepen the kiss. Jungkook moans and grips at Yoongi’s shoulders, the kiss is forceful and desperate until they have to part for air.

When Yoongi looks up at him with his unwavering gaze Jungkook realises he doesn’t want Yoongi to look at him like that either. He wants Yoongi’s eyes all over his body, seeing the way their fingers wrap around each other, how their skin contrasts so beautifully in colour, how Jungkook fits perfectly in Yoongi’s lap. He sighs and says what he wanted to tell Yoongi when he’d first started seeing Jimin, maybe even before that.

“I love you, Yoongi.”

Yoongi says nothing, just watches Jungkook’s adam’s apple as he swallows. He moves to kiss Jungkook again and Jungkook realises that this is just how it had been with Jimin. Jungkook loving Yoongi before Yoongi loved him and Yoongi slowly catching up with him. With this realisation he tries to pull away but is stopped by Yoongi’s hands on his back and the words that leave his mouth. Words that prove Jungkook’s fears completely wrong,

“I love you too.”