"I think that the worst part of it all wasn't losing him. It was losing me."

YOO YOUNGJAE

I was just looking for a distraction. Everything hurt and I needed to get away from it all. I needed to get away from Jaebum. All I wanted was a few moments of fun to nurse my broken heart, and I knew Daehyun was exactly the kind of guy who could give me that. He changed his girlfriends with the snap of a finger and he knew nothing about commitment. To him, relationships were a hassle and broken hearts were even more troublesome. He was looking for someone who understood his philosophy, so when I caught his eye, I just went along with it.

It was almost an unsaid agreement when we started getting closer. I was perfectly aware of what I was getting into---it wasn't going to last as Daehyun would throw me away eventually. It was simple: Daehyun would show me a good time and I'd enjoy it while it lasted.

I knew he would dump me once he got bored of me.

What I didn't know was that I would fall in love with him.

JUNG DAEHYUN

The way I work is simple. I give pretty girls the time of their life and when the spark's gone, I say goodbye. I never really thought it was something so wrong to do---for that period of time I was together with them, I made them happy. It's crazy to expect us to stay together forever. That sort of only happens in fairy tales. Reality check, people get bored and it's human instinct. Relationships aren't meant to last; they're meant to be hobbies.

The reason why I picked Yoo Youngjae was simple: he was pretty. For a boy, he was prettier than many of the girls I'd dated. I was sick of dealing with crying messes and so, when I found out Youngjae understood what I was looking for, I went ahead and swept him off his feet. He was hung up on some other guy and needed to take his mind off things. Essentially, he was perfect for me.

The trouble started when I didn't find him pretty anymore. It got worse when I stopped bothering to think of him as time passed. And it all went downhill when I realised I just didn't like him anymore. 

Yoo Youngjae wasn't just pretty anymore; he was beautiful to me. I didn't have to make the effort to think of him; he was in my head all the ing time.

And the worst part of all was that I loved him.

IM JAEBUM

I knew he loved me. I knew I loved him. Youngjae and I had been friends since we were kids and we've been inseparable ever since. Somewhere along the way, we fell in love, but nothing ever progressed from there because I didn't let it. I was scared because Youngjae was my everything. With my older brother estranged and my parents distanced, the only person I ever had was Youngjae. He was the only person who genuinely loved me and he was the one thing I loved more than my very own life.

I was afraid that if we ever broke up, I would lose him forever. We worked out as friends, but who knew if we'd work out as lovers? The thought of Youngjae leaving me scared me to death, so I did what I did.

I hurt him. I went out, got myself a boyfriend, and hurt him. The tension was building up between us and that night, when I kissed him senseless and made him writhe with pleasure under me, I knew things would change if I didn't do something quick.

I thought everything would go back to normal. I would fall in love with my boyfriend and Youngjae would eventually see someone else.

I was so damn stupid. I was so ing scared of losing Youngjae but I never considered losing Youngjae to someone else.