Thank you

Love is a wonderful thing, right? Well, it's supposed to be. Maybe I 'haven't met the right person' or 'have never experienced true love'. But then again, is there something called 'true love'? Is love real? How can you love someone so much, but in a matter of seconds drop them like they are nothing? Forget that they exist on this earth or remember them as the ex you used to date? How can something so beautiful betray you?

I met him that day. It was a rainy day and I used to work in a coffee shop. He stormed inside making everyone look at him. I still remember to this day, that he took his hood off and looked at everyone with big eyes. You could see the shock on his face, because everyone was looking at him, but instead of cowering in fear. He gave everyone a cute grin and the shop became lively again. I remember him walking slowely at him looking straight at me with a grin and sparkly eyes. It was so cliché that I still cringe to the fact that that happened. I remember his order too, black coffee.

Do you believe in love at first sight? Well, I don't. Sure, call me pessimistic, cynical, discouraged, but how can love at first sight exist? Isn't love at first sight just some attraction? How can you know someones personality by just looking at someone? How can you see their good or bad habits? How can you love someone by merely their appearance? I'm sorry if I destroyed your aspect of love, I'm sorry if you disagree.

He came in every day after that, every day at the same exact time, 4:40pm. After a week, I started to actually wait for him to come in. It's sad, I know. I remember the first time he actually started a conversation with me. The shop was empty at the time and he came in at exactly 4:40pm. While I was making his drink he started to talk to me. We talked for hours about random crap. That day I learned that his name was Kihyun and that he was more mysterious than I thought he was.

We started to date after a month. Our time in the first 3 months was good, we enjoyed each others company a lot and we hung out together more than I expected. Maybe it was the smile that drew me in or his eyes everytime I said something funny. I met his friends in the second month that we were together. They were funny, weirder than I thought, but humorous. I learned that Kihyun felt really comfortable around his friends and that he loved his friends more than anything in this world. After the three months things slowely started to change, it wasn't exactly negative at the time. We both found a new job and that aquired us to work even more and even harder. We saw each other less and less, but that made it more exiting when we saw each other. The conversations that we had were longer, because we didn't see each other every day. It went like that for a year.

After over a year of dating, Kihyun asked me something I never expected him to ask. He asked me to move in with him and of course I said yes. Our relationship grew a lot and I trusted him enough. The first 5 months that I lived there had to be the best time of my life. The laughs that we had, the tears that I shed because of the fight made the relationship closer and closer. After the first 5 months everything changed drastically, he got a promotion and worked more than he used to. He came home every day with bags under his eyes and the only conversation we had was on sundays, the day that he actually was a home, but he worked on sundays too. We grew further and further apart. I didn't want to admit it, so I decided to laugh it off and pretend that everything was fine.

Eventually I got a promotion too, making me work in the weekends and having the day off on friday, the day that was the busiest for him. Everything went downhill after that. We slowely stopped talking to each other and just kept busy with work and sleep. The days that we were free, were spend with our friends and family but never with each other. After two months I noticed that he kept coming home later and later. I decided not to talk about it and just ignored it. Till the day that he came home at 3am. He told me that he just had extra work and we argued for hours. He walked away and I didn't see him till two days later and he apologized. I thought that everything would become better after that but I was completely wrong.

I decided to clean our closet one day and I noticed that his shirt was full of parfume, that clearly wasn't mine. I didn't believe it and I ignored it, maybe I should've had. I came home early one day. It was sunday it was rainy like the day we met. I caught a cold the day before and the boss let me go early. I was tired and decided to take a shower. Our closet was in our room. I knew that Kihyun was home that day so I tried to open the door without a noice. When I walked into the room I was hit by a really strong scent of the parfume that was all over Kihyun's shirt. I looked at the bed and saw a woman next to Kihyun while caressing his face and him sleeping next to her. She turned around after I dropped my bag in shock and looked at me with wide eyes. I remember her screaming and me running out of the apartment as fast as I could. I remember Kihyun yelling my name but I my mind was blank and I just ran faster.

The following day, I went back home with my friend. The apartment was empty but I found the glass cups that I bought shattered all over the floor. I ignored it and immediately walked to the bedroom. I gathered all of my stuff and left a note for him with the keys to the apartment in it. my friend looked at me with eyes of pity and sadness and hugged me while I cried. I remember her walking out first with the remaining of my stuff. I looked back at the apartment and remembered all of our memories. All the funny times that we had, all the sad times that we had. When I sat in the car of my friend I saw Kihyun's friends on more time. I saw Minhyuk looking at me with big eyes and I forced a smile on my face and waved at him. My friend started to drive away before I could see Kihyun. I felt seven pair of eyes looking at the car driving away.

Maybe I should've stayed.

Maybe I should've listened to the words that he wanted to say.

Maybe I should've picked up the phone when he called me the following six months.

Maybe I should've forgiven him.

Maybe I should've ignored him from the beginning.

Maybe I should've realized that love wasn't real earlier.

The time that we spend together made me realize that love was never wonderful. That love is full of betrayel, hurt and sadness. That love can never be forever. That even if you say you love them that you can forget about their existence all together. Thank you wasting the 3 years that we spend together. Thank you for making me realize that love is fake.