I woke up when the bus entered the area of Nambu Bus Terminal, Seoul. My body felt stiff after traveling about 5 hours from Busan. After wearing the backpack, I began to take photographs of the bustle of the terminal in the evening while waiting for the bus to stop properly.

My eyes were fixed on a pair of lovers who sit in front of me. The woman still looked sleepy, the man helped smoothed her long brown hair, while muttering 'kiyowo'. Although she was still half-conscious, she still looks beautiful. Unconsciously I began to take photographs. The man suddenly looked at me. Abruptly I lowered my camera.
 

"Hongbin-ah, aren’t you getting off? ".

I knew the couple and we went along to Seoul. You must think why I want to tag along this couple like a third wheel. That was because they want to celebrate their anniversary by creating photo albums. The man: Jaehwan, is a seonbae who always helped me when I was in college. To pay his kindness, I volunteered to be their photographer for free. The woman was his girlfriend, Hani. Just like her name, she was as sweet as honey.

Yes I like Hani, even before Jaehwan knew her. But Jaehwan was one step ahead me. When I was still hesitant to approach her, Jaehwan already asked her out. Any woman would fall for the handsome, tall, cute and jolly Lee Jaehwan. Not to mention his beautiful voice when singing. Even my own mother like Jaehwan more than her own son. Although through a fair competition, I'm not sure can beat him. And I decided to give up and keep these feelings for myself.

We walked side by side: Jaehwan, Hani and I. first I was stayed behind because it felt awkward walking beside them. But Jaehwan grabbed me and forced me to walk with them. He even ordered me to walk beside Hani, that made me feel awkward than I alreade have. Just walk by her side makes my heart beating fast. I think my feelings on Hani had dimmed but I was wrong.

 

Once we reached our destination, Chandeok Palace, we immediately start the photoshoot. Because they were a real couple, it's easy for them to do lovely pose in front of the camera without my cue. In the middle of shooting, Jaehwan suddenly kiss Hani’s cheeks. Hani face seemed flushed with his sudden affection. I felt my grab on my camera tightened, how I wish I can be on Jaehwan.

 

"I think this is enough" I said, clearing my equipment.

"Uh ... Already? "Hani asked me.

I ignored her question because I was really upset with their sudden public display affection. I  wanted to finish this shoot immediately. I didn’t want see them being lovey dovey in front of me any longer.

"Hongbin said shooting would be more in Huwon" Jaehwan said

.
"You saw it right, your friend young is really annoying. He always ignores me. Just because we use his service for free, does not mean he can treat me like this. Moreover I'm older than him, he should respect me ".

Although I acted like super busy, I could still hear their conversation. Hani was true when she said I ignored her. But she was wrong to think that I hated, in fact I love her. I acted cold around her, with a hope she could feel even just little pain that I’ve felt for loving her secretly.

 

"You want to continue the photo-shoot or not? This place will be closed soon " I shouted from a distance.

Hani stamped her feet in annoyance. There is another reason why I like to tease Hani. Her angry face is absolutely adorable and I really loved it. Jaehwan suddenly cupped both sides of  Hani cheeks with his hands. He whispered something and in a second Hani sullen face turned into blushed one. I wonder what did Jaehwan say to her. Phew ... today will be the longest day of my life.
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I sat stiffly there as if a plank of wood was being implant inside my back. Hani who was sitting next to me also looked uncomfortable. She continued to avoid eye contact with me and choose to face the window of the bus. Jaehwan hyung told us he had to stay behind so he could not return to Busan with us. I knew he was lying.

[Flashback]

"Why did not you tell me you like my Hani? ".

Before returning to Busan, we decided to have dinner. Hani had just went to the toilet so there were only Jaehwan and I left. When I would go to pay to the cashier, suddenly Jaehwan confronted me. I looked at him with disgust. I'm tired of hiding my feelings.

"Is not it obvious? Because noona is your girlfriend hyung! "

.
Jaehwan ruffled his hair because of stress. He was biting his fingernails as he kept looking at me. This Jaehwan hyung sometimes has a really strange thought. I try to guess what he was thinking about this time.

"I will give you a chance to clear your feelings with Hani".

" What do you mean? ".

"I'll pretend there is an important thing to do in Seoul. You can go back together with Hani to Busan. Along the way from Seoul to Busan finish your business with Hani, then forget her ".

"What if after that I still can’t let her go? ".

"You're going to deal with me" said Jaehwan showed his fist at me.

[end of flashback]

I fist-coughed to attract Hani’s attention at it worked. She glances briefly then looked down, fiddling with her fingers. I could sense how uncomfortable she was with me around.

"I'm tired and can not sleep. What about you? "
"Honestly me too".

"Then do you want to listen my friend’s story? "I asked, she answered it with a nod.

 

"My friend is a boy ... he likes his best friend’s girlfriend. Every time he met that he always treats her coldly. He hoped she would hate him so it will be easier for him to forget her. He knows it's not fair for her, but isn’t fair too for my friend? Why is the woman that he loves must be a lover of his best friend? ".

 

"Does your friend friend know about this? ".

“ He knows, that's why he gave my friend time to talk to his girlfriend and in order to forget her. My friend did not know if he can forget about her, but he will try. For the sake of his friend, for the sake of that woman ".

"What if he can not? ".

" I don’t know. Tell me, Hani ... how could I forget you? ".

"I'm sorry Lee Hongbin" Hani said.

I turned away just before the tears were dripping. I quickly wiped it away. Damn why did I even cry? It was really embarrassing. I felt a hand touch my head. Slowly she leaned my head on her shoulder.

"This is the only thing I could do to comfort you. Same as Jaehwan said, I hope that after this you will forget me. Now it might be painful, but as the time passes you'll be forget me ".

" Then let me to lean on your shoulder. Just for a moment, until we arrived at Busan? " I pledged.
 

" Okay " she said.

 

I smiled in relief and then closed my eyes. I inhaled her scent that I will be missed. Along the way from Seoul to Busan, I let myself imagined you are mine. Although just for a while, until we arrived at Busan.

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3 years have passed just like that. Since that day, I went around the world to pursue my passion as photographer. I stared at the image that just has been delivered by Jaehwan. He told me that tomorrow he would get married with Hani. They did not know I was in which part of the world so that they did not invite me. Actually I was in Seoul since a few days ago, but I did not tell anyone my whereabouts.

What an annoying guys. If they wants to get married just go ahead, why should tell me? Are they mocking me? I tried to focus but that image was really ruin my concentration.
Ahn Hani you lied when you said as time goes by I can surely forget you. In fact, until this very moment I still love you. Maybe it was just me who would not want to forget you, not wanting to stop loving.

I took picture of myself with Namsan tower asbackground and sent to Jaehwan with the message 'Although I didn’t being invited, I will come'. Although it hurts, I will be happy if you guys are happy. I’m wishing the best for your wedding day, best friend and first love..