It had been like this between them for as long as Jimin could remember.

He started off as a friend of a friend. A guy who spoke too loud and too much but still managed to make everyone around him feel strangely comfortable, even if they had just met him. He would pull anyone into a tight hug, sharing inside jokes and laughing with them as he was playfully pushed away. Jimin was in awe of the man, in awe of his aura of confidence that never wavered. He was envious of the man’s clear ability to make conversation with anyone, to have anyone smitten in his presence.

He introduced himself one night to Jimin during a house party, sitting down heavily on an old, beaten up couch and extending his hand with two simple words.

“I’m Hoseok”

Jimin had smiled down at the beer in his hand before extending his other towards the taller man.

“I know”

It had only taken a week for Hoseok to make it seem like he had known Jimin for years and Jimin fought the urge to find faults in this newly formed friendship. Soon Jimin became the receiver of Hoseok’s overly tight hugs and late night Facebook conversations. Things had progressed between the two steadily. The hugging on arrival turned to cuddling in the park together alone, the inside jokes had turned to kisses on the cheek and the hand holding had turned to light, feathery touches on each other’s thighs that caused Jimin’s eyes to flutter slightly.

On a particular Saturday afternoon Hoseok had offered to walk Jimin home, hands tightly held together as they made their way down an empty street. They had stopped shortly before Jimin’s house, both still standing in the middle of the deserted road as Jimin turned to Hoseok. He wrapped his arms around the elder’s neck, lightly touching the sensitive skin there with his lips. Jimin pulled his face back, staring into Hoseok eyes before they both giggled slightly. He called Hoseok an idiot, moving back again, wanting more than anything to feel what Hoseok’s lips felt like on his own. His heart was beating harder than it ever had before and he was sure the other boy could feel it too and they held each other so close.

Jimin sighed, pulling back “I should go”

“Yeah” Hoseok smiled.

That night Hoseok had messaged Jimin, worried about whether his girlfriend was going to break up with him. Jimin gave him relationship advice, like a good friend should. Jimin wondered if he was the only one who didn’t know Hoseok had a girlfriend.

-

Hoseok’s girlfriend did end up breaking up with him, and to top it off got eaten out by Hoseok’s best friend a week later. Jimin wasn’t bitter about it all though, not even when Hoseok laughed with him about how his ex-girlfriend hated how much time they spent together or how much she hated Jimin.

Hoseok clearly liked him, even someone as clueless about relationships as Jimin could see that. It excited him. It stopped him from sleeping, and not just because their online conversations lasted until four in the morning. Hoseok would be, could be his first partner. That was when the doubt started to set in.

Jimin paced around his room, running his hands through his hair more times than was natural. What if he didn’t really like Hoseok? What if he was just ecstatic about someone finally paying attention to him? He had been in a really bad place a few years before they first met, maybe this was his sad way of getting that time that he lost back.

Jimin’s phone buzzed, causing him to jump slightly before he moved over to check the message on his screen. His heart sunk. This was too much. This was too fast. Jimin reached for the phone, typing as quickly as he could with his hands shaking.

“Let me think about it”

His response had caused three days of Hoseok following him around, asking him if he had made his mind up yet.  Jimin had smiled, telling him quietly he was still deciding. He