CHANYEOL’S POV

“Park Chanyeol! What are doing with your life? Seriously? You get drank all by yourself and even made a commotion on that resto. Are you insane? For God sake chanyeol, you’re an idol! Please don’t do this.” Suho, our leader had been preaching since I arrived. Yes. I am drank and yes, I made a commotion at the resto. Huh. I was ed up; no everything was really ed up.

“Chanyeol, I know you were hurt but this is wrong, really wrong.” Xiumin hyung said. I can’t hear their words. I can’t understand what their saying is.

“Guys, I think he needs to be alone. Let’s leave him first.” Thank God Baekhyun understands the situation. Suho hyung sigh and shook his head. Baekhyun looked at me with a worried face as they leave. Sorry guys for disappointing you.

It was two days ago since they reveal their relationship. I was shocked and yes, I was also hurt. I’ve been a fan of Dara noona for a long time. Everyone knows this. It wasn’t even a secret to anyone. But it’s not just a fan feeling. I’m sure I’m in love with her. I was really lucky because I was able to debut as an idol under SM Entertainment though I really want to be in YG. Because of this I was able to see Dara noona in music shows. I already know she was the kindest idol and not to mention, the most beautiful idol in my eyes but every time I see her, it seems like there’s still a lot of things I don’t know about her.  I could never forget the first time I saw her. She was shining and stunning. I was really nervous that time and it was funny that fans caught me staring at her. It was embarrassing but because of that me and Dara noona gained fans and they even made a shipping name called Chandara.

Things went well and it seems that God is really in my favor when I was casted in a reality show titled, Roommate with Bom noona. I did everything I can just to get close with her. It’s not just because I like Dara noona but because I am also a fan of 2ne1. Bom noona was really nice and easy to be friends with. The first thing we talked about was Dara noona. She asked me if I really like her and I told her my honest answer. Of course that scene was not aired. Bom noona tried to set an appointment for me and Dara noona. It was the most unforgettable moment of my life.

*Flashback*

“Bom noona, what are we doing here? And why did you told me to disguise? Are we going on a date?” I . She hit me on my shoulder.

“Yah! You’re not my type. We’re here because this is one of Dara’s favorite resto and we are waiting for someone important.”

“Who?”

“Just shut up and wait.” I made myself busy with looking around the resto when suddenly someone caught my attention. She was wearing a thick black jacket and a beanie. She was wearing a shades and was also covered with a black mask. Although she was definitely unrecognizable, I still can predict it was her. My heart knows it was her. I hurriedly went back to Bom noona.

“Noona!! I saw Sandara noona! She was here! She was here!”

“I know she’s here. She’s going to meet us.” I was dumbfounded. Am I hearing the right words?

“What?” Bom noona didn’t answer me instead she went to Dara noona and guided her to where I was seated. I don’t know what to do. I can’t even look her at her eyes.

“Dara, this is chanyeol the one I’ve been talking to you.” What? They are talking about me? Oh my God. How should I react? Should I be cool? Or should I act like a cute young guy? I immediately bowed my head and greet her.

“Annyeong Sandara sunbaenim. My name is Park Chanyeol from EXO.” I looked at her. She took off her mask and smiled at me.

“Omo. Bom is right. You are tall and very good looking. Also, a well-mannered guy. Just call me Dara noona. Nice to meet you.” She extended her hands to me. I took it. My hand was trembling. “Are you nervous? Your hands are trembling.”

“Ah-eh.” Jeez man. What’s happening to you?

“He was nervous to meet his crush of course.” Bom noona interrupted. I felt my face blushed.

“Kekeke. You’re cute chanyeol-ah.” I smiled at Dara noona’s compliment. This is definitely a lucky day for me.

“Omo. This big ear guy is acting cute.” Bom noona teased me and they laugh.

It was indeed a very unforgettable day. We ate and talked a lot of things. I learned that Dara noona and I have many things in common. Is it destiny? I hope so. Hahaha

*End of Flashback*

I can still feel the same feelings whenever I reminisce the first day we met. It was a sweet memory but now there’s a little bit of bitterness. The door opened. It was baekhyun.

“Hey are you okay now?” He sat beside me.

“I don’t think I can be okay now.”

“You’re a jerk chanyeol. Right from the start you already knew that Dara noona already had Jiyong sunbaenim. You knew they were in love with each other but still you took the risk.”

“Cause I thought I could stand a chance when Jiyong was involved in a dating scandal with that Japanese model. I was with her side all the time. I hugged her when she felt she was alone, I wiped her tears and comforted her. I thought things will turn out good but it wasn’t.” I couldn’t hold back my tears anymore. I cried in front of my bestfriend while covering my eyes. I heard his deep sigh.

“It’s okay to cry. Don’t hold back. You know, not all things will happen the way you wanted it to be. I can’t seem to find the right words to comfort you. I know what you feel, loving someone who can never be yours. Someone who is near yet so far. The right thing to do now is to pull yourself together now and talk to Dara noona.”

“I don’t think I can talk to her.”

“It’s not about ‘you can or you cant’ it’s about you should. You should talk to her. Do you think noona will be happy if she knew what were you doing with your self? I bet she will scold you like the other did.”

**********

“Chanyeol!!!!” She was running and smiling at me sweetly. What a nice view. She hugged me immediately. “Hey suho told me you went home drank last night and even made a commotion at a resto. What happened to you? Tell me are you okay? Is there something wrong?” She cupped my face and she looked very worried. I looked at her. Lord, why can’t you give her to me? Why not me? Am I not worth it for her? Is it really impossible for her to fall in love me? “Hey? Why are you crying?” I put my head on her shoulder.

“I’m sorry noona.” I said while still crying.

“Eh? Chanyeol ah. Why are you saying sorry?”

“Sorry for loving you. Sorry for hoping that you and jiyong hyung will break up. Sorry.. I just love you so much.” She remained quiet for a while.

“I should be the one saying sorry.” I looked at her

“No noona. You don’t have anything to say sorry for.” She shook her head

“No. It was my fault. I already know your feelings yet I tried to disregard it and I still made friends with you. I think I gave you false hope. I depend on you too much when jiyong and I had problems. If it wasn’t because of me, you will not be hurt. I’m sorry. I’m really sorry.” She cried and hugged me. “I’m sorry for hurting you. I’m sorry for causing you too much pain.”

“It’s okay noona. I don’t mind being in pain if it’s because of you. I will be okay soon so don’t worry. Honestly I don’t think Jiyong hyung deserves you but if you believe that you belong with him, promise me you won’t let him hurt you and always remember, I will always be here for you even if it kills me to see you with him. I hope for your happiness”

“Thank you chanyeol. Thank you.” I hugged her tightly.

“For one last time, let me say this to you. I love you so much noona.” My tears kept falling. We are in the same restaurant, the one where we first met but it was a different feeling. It was the same hug but different effect. It was a bitter feeling that causes pain. This is going to be the last time that I can hug her because after this, she will be gone. I can never do this anymore.

 

******

She was the prettiest bride and he was the most handsome groom. She wears the sweetest smile while he wears the proudest one. He was proud that he has her. Indeed, they are the perfect couple. Everyone was happy throwing rose petals at the newly wed. What a lovely scene. While everyone was enjoying the scene a guy from the far corner is watching them with painful eyes. The guy wishes it was him, holding her hands, kissing her, being with her and calling her his wife.

“Some say it isn’t over till it's over but I guess it's really over now. There's something I gotta say before I let go of your memories with me… nan yeojeonhi dangsin-eul saranghamnida. Yes. I do still love you.” The guy whispered to his self. If he could only say that to her.

“Chanyeol stop hurting yourself. Let’s go now.”

“I’m coming.”