"Mom," I whined, "really, I'll be fine. He'll be back for New Year's." I trudged through the snow covered streets of Seoul, on a mission to buy one last Christmas gift. Christmas Eve was tomorrow, after all.

On the phone, my mother persisted futher with her invites. "But, honey, I don't want you spending Christmas alone."

I rolled my eyes, having been arguing with her for over twenty minutes.

"He'll be back on the twenty-seventh. By the time I fly all the way over there to you guys, I'll just have to come right back. It's exhausting and I know you are just trying to help me feel better but I'll be fine, mom. I'm serious. I'm going to have Christmas with a few friends and then open presents with Sehun when he gets back. Everything will work out."

Although the offer of spending Christmas with my family in the States was appealing, I hated to travel that far for one day and have to only fly back the next day. Sehun, my husband of 11 months, was stuck on a business trip in Japan and wouldn't be able to make it home for Christmas. It was heartbreaking to not be able to spend our first Christmas as a married couple together, even if we had spent several together already as friends and then as a couple, but duty called and he had to leave only five days before Christmas. That morning, while cozying up with a warm cup of tea, he had called me.

"It doesn't look like I'm going to make, honey. I'm sorry."

I cried. As much as I hate to admit it, I assured him I would be fine and let him get back to work. Once the line went dead, I cried. I ended up calling my mom to talk about it and she insisted I come spend Christmas with them. And the argument was still going.

"Look, Mom. I need to go buy one last gift. I'll talk to you later," I told her, entering a clothing store. "I love you." Hanging up, I ventured off to find a gift for my neighbor.

On Christmas Eve, Sehun and I usually spent the day inside. Knowing we would be visiting family and friends or going out on a date the next day, we would just spend the day before being lazy and enjoying the warmth that the inside held. He would come over midday day, after sleeping in, and join me in my apartment to make cookies and marathon Christmas movies. We always ended up with cookie hangovers and no more milk left in my apartment but it was well worth it to be able to snuggle up to him on the couch while only halfway paying attention to the tv.

This year, however, was going to be different. I still slept in, not heaving myself out of bed until after noon, but I was much more sluggish about getting on with the day. Before even getting out from under the warm white covers of mine and Sehun's bed, I checked my phone to see he had messaged me saying he would call me later but he had several things to do and would be busy throughout the day. That wasn't the most delightful thing to wake up to, honestly, and it hindered my Christmas spirit for the rest of the day. 

It was still too late (due to timezones) to call my family and wish them Merry Christmas so I got dressed in a pair of warm fleece leggings and a long sleeve of Sehun's and went to find something warm to drink. Our house was always stocked with hot chocolate so I boiled two cups of water, found the biggest mug I could, and dumped four packets of cocoa mix into the steaming water. Sehun and I had decided to make a tradition of making pancakes for breakfast on special holidays because pancakes were just delicious but I didn't have the energy or will to make them on Christmas Eve. I ended up grabbing a few store bought cookies out of the microwave and munching on them while staring blankly at the floor and sipping tentatively on my hot chocolate.

I spent the day trying to find ways to occupy the time. I didn't want to watch tv because it only reminded me that Sehun wasn't with me and I didn't want to cook because that had the same effect. Frankly, I didn't want to do anything. I hated to be the type of woman that felt like nothing without her man but I couldn't help it. It mad me absolutely sad that I wouldn't be able to spend Christmas with my husband.

He eventually called in the evening, distracting me from laying on the bed and staring blankly at the ceiling.

"What are you doing?" he asked, his tone sounding as if I was told not to touch the cookie jar and I had been caught doing just that.

"Nothing," I replied honestly, fiddling with the pillow at my side. I had placed it on his side of the bed the night before to at least try to fill his empty spot.

Sehun huffed. "Are you wasting Christmas Eve pining?"

"Yes."

"Babe," he whined. I could practically hear him roll his eyes. "I told you to enjoy Christmas not mope around because I wasn't there. What if I were to die?"

"Sehun!" I snapped, sitting up, very unhappy that he so bluntly proposed scenarios. 

"I'