Mingyu was peacefully cleaning his old apartment for his brother's birthday party which they decided to celebrate there. The apartment wasn't that big though, they just wanted it there. Plus he'll only have few visitors. Everyone was busy buying the things they will be needing and he was left there.

 

Wonwoo, his boyfriend, was the one to choose this special place for them couple of years ago. He remembered one time, Wonwoo was decorating in the living room and he just finished cooking lunch. He called him up but Wonwoo didn't want to leave the curtains unhung so he just helped him, but like most of the time, they ended up cuddling and almost forgot to eat.

 

Mingyu smiled happily.

He smiled that smile he's only able to have whenever he's with Wonwoo, or whenever he hears Wonwoo's voice, or whenever he hears Wonwoo's name alone.

Sure enough, he's greatly inlove with that tall, but not as him, skinny, white guy who loves to cuddle with him and sing him a lullaby until they fall to sleep.

 

While he was sweeping the floor and moved the cabinet stucked there already for a year, he found a piece of paper. He opened it only to see it was from his lover.

 

 

 

To the most beautiful person i ever had, Mingyu,

 

I made this letter few days ago, when i can't fall comfortably in sleep. I made this but i wont make you read it yourself, i'll read it for you, like what we've always done. So you should give your one hundred and thousand percent attention to me, only. And dont even try to sneeze again, you sneezy head, if you dont want to miss a single word.

 

It's been exactly five years now since we confronted each other with a misunderstanding that led us to our confessions. Confessions of real feelings. And i have to admit that even now, i'm still full smile whenever i remember it. I can still clearly see it at the back of my mind and if anyone would ask what time was it, what were the clothes you wore, how many blinks you had- no, that's unbelievable, hahaha! well, i can still remember how you held out your words, and how it felt, i can answer it all in detail. Fun, right? But let's not talk about it anymore..hahaha!

Now i'll be serious. I think i have to say sorry. We promised to never keep a secret even once, but I think i kept one secret from you. Do you wanna know it?

 

I told you long ago that i never had feelings for you even before we entered junior high, but the truth is, i had this little crush on you from middle school. Seeing your face every blue morning, it kept me going. You had given me the feeling of what they called "butterflies in my stomach". I actually got that why, frankly. Even you loved to tease me before going on to your sit behind mine, throwing papers of your abstract drawings on me, pulling out my chair whenever i'm about sit, and poking me for nothing until the teacher warns me for standing up suddenly- distracting the whole class, i still find you amazing.

 

I dont know if you remember, we dont know each other yet when this happened, but one time in summer that it was raining, i got out from the library because i needed to borrow books when it suddenly rained. I've been cursing the air, the trees, the library building, the road, the books i was holding, and even the atoms in the atmosphere, just for the rain to stop but it wont. So i just sat there hopelessly. Hopelessly because i know no one around. It's worst because i had to be at the hospital where my mom was admitted, since visiting hours are not until 7pm. It means i wont be seeing my mom until tomorrow of that day if i can't get out of that place in time. But like a gift from God, someone handed me his umbrella and walked away only with his hoodie, and that was you. From then on, i was thankful and i've been wanting to thank you because i get to talk and see my mom alive for the last time.

 

I was surprised to see you in class after summer, i approached you and you just shrugged and walked away, saying you dont talk to strangers. You were a completely insane person, i thought. Who the hell would say those words when you were being nice and so, on him? But i recognized you were really nuts since that day you gave your umbrella and just head your way without looking back, to someone you dont actually know. Well then, we became partners in several projects, and we still barely talked. I actually wanted to talk to you that one time we were in my house doing science project but i was pretty dumb to say anything. I cant think of what we can talk about since i noticed we had that "difference" and "barrier". But what's funny is that, we talked barely but whenever, you'll always tease me about my nose. I've been wanting to ask you, what the hell's wrong with my nose? But i never asked that, didn't i? Hahaha! I really get annoyed at you sometimes, but most of the time, i'm not. You got what i'm trying to say right? You can laugh at me and boast it to your group of friends, that i was the one who fell first, not unlike what everyone thought, though i like it that you just disagreed once and you accepted it afterwards.

 

Oh, by the way, that quarrel we had last month, i still want to apologize even were done with it and were perfectly fine now. Sorry that.. i didnt spoke of it, i'm just scared of what you might say, what you might do, what might i say, what might i do. But thank you for hugging me, you always knew when do i need it. That hug, that would be the best of the best hugs i had received from you. Not that i'm saying that i never enjoyed our hugs before, but that time, i really felt like...the heaven's gonna go down on earth.

 

Next thing, you knew it already. Do i still have to say? I LOVE YOU, Kim Mingyu, even you wont ask for it, even you at arts class, even you're an idiot at times. I LOVE YOU. I can say that triple times the number of butterflies flying all over the world. Life had given me too much rain, but you became my sunlight and you helped me build a rainbow. You loved me even i'm not good in math and anything related to it, you loved me even i always step on your feet when you pull me to a dance, you loved me even when i'm always clumsy, you loved me even there are many other people who wants you- who were better that me, or greater than me. You loved me even i cook the worse, even i dont know how to iron your clothes, even i'm an alien at times that i cant be understood by anyone, you loved me even i'm only Jeon-Won-woo.

 

I honestly cannot believe were in this part of our lives that i can finally be the one next to you all the time, when you wake up, when you sleep, to your ups and downs, and even in sickness and health. Do i sound funny? Hahaha, but getting married is different from just being together in the same apartment. Yeah, you heard me right, Let's get married, Kim Mingyu.

 

I wish you would take my invitation.

 

 

From the person who loves you so, Wonwoo