“ Yah Jung MI Young, hurry up and pack the things you want to bring along to the new house and throw away all that useless kpop stuff. Why did you even waste my hard earned money on these trash? Throw it out! “ My mum screamed. I don’t know if its obvious yet but I’m a little obsessed with kpop, especially the kpop group, Big Bang. “ It’s not trash mum! It’s my prized possession. Why can’t you understand that? “ I rolled my eyes. My family was never a huge supporter of me liking kpop to this extent but hey, how can you resist Taeyang’s eyesmile? I quickly got to work, taking out everything stored in my cupboards and drawers. Needles to say, half the things I possessed were related to Big Bang. Oh well. I scanned my room before noticing a certain box, that box that squeezed my heart every time I noticed it. I froze when I saw it. I got up from my bedroom floor and headed to the box. I picked it up and laid it on my bed, simultaneously sitting down on my bed too. I opened the lid of the box and told myself to be strong, to not cry. It had passed a long time ago. Move on. Words were easy but actions weren’t. I reached into the box and pulled out the first thing that caught my attention. The Elmo stuffed toy.  Okay you might be wondering why an 19 almost 20 year old would posses such a childish thing but hey, it was cute alright? My heart was squeezed once again while I recalled the precious memories this doll had possessed.

“ Oppa! Buy this for me! Jebal! “ I pleaded my boyfriend, Jungkook, to buy my favorite stuffed cartoon stuffed toy. The moment my eyes landed on that toy, I knew I would regret if it wasn’t in my possession the moment I left the store. Thus, I threw away all my pride and downright begged my boyfriend to buy it for me, casually throwing in some cringe worthy aegyo, since I knew my boyfriend was a er for it. “ Aigoo, you’re already 16! Grow up would you. Stop being this cute or I might fall in love with you even more. “ He cooed. That was one thing I loved about my boyfriend. He was sweet, caring and not to mention drop dead gorgeous. I still can’t believe that I’m dating my first love. It seemed like it was just yesterday when I was stalking following him around campus. Eventually, he bought it for me. Well, what can I say? My aegyo has powers beyond this world after all. I’m kidding haha. You might be wondering why this doll meant so much to me. It wasn’t just any doll. It was the first gift he had given me since we started dating. This $25 doll might not seem much, but it meant the world to my 16 year old self, because it was a confirmation that I was really dating my first love.

I blinked away the tears forming in my hazel-brown eyes. “ Don’t cry. “ I scolded myself for always being weak. I gently set the doll aside before reaching into the box to retrieve another item I treasured dearly. Why was I torturing myself like this? I have no idea to be honest but hey it wasn’t that bad to take a trip down memory lane once in a while, right? I pulled out a journal. Besides the crumpled edges, it was quite well-maintained. I smoothed out the crumpled edges before setting the journal onto my lap, opening it. I flipped the pages and chuckled at my young self. I had painstakingly jotted down my emotions into it. I had this journal since I was 14 and the first entry was already about Jungkook. It’s funny how long I’ve liked this guy. At first I thought it was just puppy love, but it wasn’t. I flipped through more entries and realized how hard I had fallen for this guy. This journal was filled with every emotion you could think of. From happiness because my crush had glanced at me to sadness from witnessing him date another girl. I  remember the countless of hours I had spent locked up in my room, bawling my eyes out because my first love had gotten together with a girl that wasn’t me. But my misery came to a quick end when I found out that Jungkook had broken up with her after 2 weeks. From the gossip that had spread around school, apparently the girl Jungkook dated, Minah, had only wanted to date Jungkook for popularity because he was part of our high school’s famous gang, Bangtan Boys. I quickly flipped through the fluffy memories etched onto the journal before I came across a rather soggy page. The last entry of the journal. I couldn’t bare to read it. I just couldn’t. I slammed the book and threw it onto my bed. I held my tears back. I wanted to cry but I couldn’t allow myself to do so. I shouldn’t. I wouldn’t. I was stronger than this… right?  So you must be wondering about what exactly happened between me and my first love. What ended our seemingly perfect relationship. It’s been 1 year close to 2 after that eventful day occurred. You might have thought that I would have forgotten it after this long. No, I didn’t. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t. Just imagine this, your first love breaking and stepping on your heart, shredding it to pieces and ending your 2 year relationship like it meant nothing to him. Would you be able to forget it? I doubt so.

I stood outside the coffe shop. The coffee shop Jungkook and I had created so many memories in. I had already memorized his favorite drinks accordin