Hyukjae doesn't dream. He wakes up numb from sleep and completely thoughtless. Occasionally he thinks about the matter and compares it to carelessly drinking and blacking out but it's not all the same. He has nothing to look forward to when he goes to sleep, no fairies swirling around his head, no dinosaurs biting off his head and no dreams of being happily together with a certain somebody.

He's afraid. Hyukjae lives in a world where people side-eye you for putting your hands on your male friend's waist for fun. Somewhere where people find kissing the same gender inappropriate and disgusting. So he jokingly tells his workmates that they could visit one of the gay bars around the corner - you know, to check it out.

“Honestly Hyukjae, I'd rather go to a lesbian bar then see guys making out in some dirty corner.” Yesung mentions in their well-deserved break.

The cafeteria of his workplace is not exactly the place to talk about gay bars and anything related to it but it doesn't matter because they have heard people talking about worse matters then a couple of men preferring over .

“What difference does it make? They are gay as well.” Hyukjae retorts, seemingly annoyed by everybody being uptight about the simplest situations.

“The difference is that I like and seeing two chicks or even more making out and imagining them in my bed can come in pretty handy later on if you know what I mean.”

Hyukjae knows what he means but he doesn't get the drill behind all of it because unlike Yesung he prefers , something he'd rather not admit to. At least not in front of his mates. He jerks off to the image of Lee Donghae – the cute guy who provides their costumer service with all the functioning technology they need for dealing with all the incoming phone calls of idiotic people not knowing how to switch on their newest cellphones. Nevertheless, he's very thankful because having Donghae bend down under his table to check on the computer is more than he could ever wish for.

Donghae isn't much of a talker Hyukjae notices. He's rather shy and barely answers whenever he is asked something. Hyukjae isn't sure if that is because Donghae is too concentrated on his work or if he noticed Hyukjae staring at his and got scared. Another habit he observes is that Donghae likes to hum to old 80s songs and although it sounds very cheesy – and love-struck – he has a very distinguished and interesting voice. Slightly nasally but nice nonetheless. Donghae is definitely somebody he'd take out to a round of karaoke.

The next time Donghae is scheduled to come in is after working hours. Apparently Sungmin managed to rip out a wire, partially causing panic and partially relief. After getting screamed at by a woman about how they constantly raise the prices for international phone calls – nothing Hyukjae could influence- he was glad to have the phone call cut off in the middle of her raging at him about steady costumers and ripping them off their money.

Hyukjae offers to stay and wait for Donghae to come and do whatever he'll need to do. “I'll make sure to keep an eye on him and most certainly will not forget to lock the doors” he reassures his superior. She skeptically looks at him but she's not somebody to reject the offer. At least he saves her the trouble of hanging out with the “mute”.

“Oh, you again. Aren't you the voyeur of this business?” Donghae mentions upon arrival.

Hyukjae tries to keep his composure. He expected a lot of things. Things including Donghae telling him to stop staring at his or things like him never ever coming back and suing him for ual assault – if you could call it that. However, never in his most awful dreams he would have imagined Donghae calling him a voyeur out of all things. He was definitely a ert, none who mastered in subtly eyeing the object of desire but a ert nonetheless.

Being called a voyeur though meant something completely different. It meant Donghae putting him into some sort of role staring after every piece of . What kind of other categories could the technician put him into? What kind of person did he think Hyukjae was? Hyukjae didn't want to think about it.

“I'm not exactly a voyeur.” is all Hyukjae could say.

The problem was fixed rather quickly since Donghae merely needed to exchange a wire and no major damage was done – Sungmin really did come off the hook easily all the time. Hyukjae thought about inviting Donghae out but it was rather difficult considering the other thought of him as a man getting off on the idea of observing unsuspecting individuals engaged in unfortunate positions under his table.

“You probably think I don't talk much, don't you?” Donghae asks while closing his toolbox.

“Yeah”

“Well, I do as you can see and unlike your colleagues I'd like to hit up some bars with you.” the technician says, shocking the other.

Hyukjae doesn't refuse. He stutters and starts sweating, cursing himself for not choosing nicer clothes but he doesn't reject the offer. He never would. It's almost like a wish come true, only better because he gets to go out with a cute guy and somewhere in the secret chambers of his mind he calls this a date, making him all the more excited.

They don't exactly end up in a typical bar, it's more of a karaoke place with individual booths but the place also has a completely separate part with a bar and a dance floor where people can get to know each other. Both males decide to go into one of the rooms and Donghae is the first one to sing since Hyukjae claims to be the worst singer on earth. The room is filled with a fun melody which Hyukjae recognizes as 송골매's song called “어쩌다 마주친 그대”.

They get their first drinks served, one glass turning into two and then three, occasional one-shots mixed in all the mess. It's a poor but smart attempt to loosen up Hyukjae and to finally get him to sing. Hyukjae apparently becomes soppy when drunk which explains him singing “I'm Yours“ by Jason Mraz. He doesn't sounds as bad as he claimed to sound. His voice is very different from the ones you constantly hear on the radio, nowhere near professional but that is what makes it special to Donghae.

After gulping down the rest of his drink, Hyukjae feels light-headed enough to mention that it was a nice change from his daily life and Donghae admits to having called their costumer service once for not being able to connect his phone to the internet.

“That's such a simple thing to do, Donghae!“ Hyukjae laughs at him and almost throws the plate over that contains all the delicious Kimchi they neglected.

“It's not easy to everybody.“ Donghae replies, embarrassed and annoyed at Hyukjae for making fun of him.

Donghae mentions Hyukjae's voice cracking in the middle of the song and his body suddenly is all over Hyukjae, leaning into him like he always does with close friends. Hyukjae isn't a close friend though, he's somebody he barely got to know in the span of the last two or three hours. Hyukjae doesn't mind Donghae leaning into him because it feels nice and comfortable and he starts to notice how tired he actually is.

“I'm sorry“ Donghae says, completely flustered by what happened.

“Nothing to apologize for but there is something I would like to tell you before getting further involved with me.“ Hyukjae replies, the alcohol and the stuffed air slowly getting to him.

“What?“

“I like men.“

Donghae doesn't mind and exchanges phone numbers with Hyukjae. He likes him and somebody's ual preference is of no concern to him. Hyukjae can like whoever he wants and there's something mesmerizing about the guy that draws him into him all the more. Donghae's mother always told him to not misuse the trust of others and Hyukjae telling him something as private as that meant he trusted him.

Donghae offers Hyukjae to let him crash at his but Hyukjae kindly refuses. He feels like he did one of the most terrific mistakes and takes Donghae's action of exchanging numbers as pure kindness to not making him feel even worse about himself. He wishes for the alcohol to consume his mind and hopes to forget the words he spoke.

Hyukjae dreams for the first time since months. He floats over a city made out of cotton candy and gum with a huge fountain in the middle of everything. The fountain is made out of crackers and pretzel sticks and the benches around are formed out of whipped cream. He lands and takes a sip out of the fountain and something about the taste is familiar. It's raw but sweet and leaves a bittersweet aftertaste. It almost – just almost- tastes like Donghae.

The following days Hyukjae neither talks about gay bars nor does he see Donghae. He admits to being a coward which also explains why he hasn't replied to any of the random text messages he received over the days. Yesung on the other hand isn't helping with his talk about sort of dating this girl. Hyukjae doesn't even remember her name or the dating site his mate found her on.

“Bet she leaves you the moment she sees your face.” Hyukjae casually adds into the never-ending ramble.

“It's a miracle we haven't run away from your horrendous visage.” Yesung mentions.

Hyukjae doesn't reply because he knows that there is some truth in what Yesung said. He doesn't consider himself good-looking but he also knows that he wouldn't be the first person of choice to date. Momentarily an image of Donghae flashes across his eyes and he can still hear him sing, laugh and sees him smile. Everything was full of joy until Hyukjae had to mention that he favored – what an idiot he was.

“What's that face for?” Yesung asks when Donghae slumps down onto the table and lets out a mixture of a groan and whine. Yesung guesses he's just desperate. Not everybody was blessed with a face like his own.

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