FINAL
BROKENIt just doesn’t feels right anymore. It’s been 10 years I lived together with her in here as a gay couple.
But, lately I feel this feeling whenever I’m with her.
Sometimes I’m easy to showing my anger towards her, sometimes I pretend if she’s not with me because I’m ashamed, even sometimes I’m disgusting with my self and this relationship.
In other words, I started to feel bored with this situation. I barely realized, I am a woman who needs a man not a half man.
I admit, Kwon Yuri, my spouse, she’s way too perfect for being a husband. As a woman she’s handsome yet beautiful , brave, very manly and gentle in the same time. She works as a fire fighter and has her own bussiness. Very wonderful isn’t it?
I fallen in love with her and agreed to married her because of her attitude which makes me fallen deeper and deeper each day.
But, for God sakes’ it’s been 10 years and I don’t feel like a perfect woman. I want to be a perfect wife, I want to be a mother of my own child. I want to get pregnant, I want to attending events with my husband besides me and the other things what all wifes all wants.
She’s a woman, same like me. I can’t feel really safe when I’m with her. Her not so bare chest can’t soothed me every time I need it.
I don’t know, but, slowly this love is fade away.
Sunday, 8.25 a.m
“Oh, Jessica, come on, think twice about it, are you sure?” My bestie, Taeyeon asked. Everytime I told her, she would always answered me with another question.
“I’m possitive. I can’t bear it anymore, Tae. It feels strange here.” I pointed to my chest.
“Your ?”
“Come on, not funny.”
“You want me come because you need me to talking about this, right, Sica.” I nodded.
“As your very best friend since born, I can’t give you an answer that you want, but I should give you answer that you need.”
“Yes, I know that, but— I just don’t feel, like I don’t love her anymore, Tae.“
“There must a reasons behind it. Why you can’t tell me?”
Taeyeon rolled her eyes which gestured if she’s bored with my act. But I really need her to hear my opinion about this.
“I’m scare you’ll regret about this, Sica. Hopefully not.”
“I won’t.”
6 p.m
“Sica baby~ I miss you~” today she saved peoples from the burnt house. Excellent job but not enough to impressed me.
“Go and take a bath, Yul.” I said coldly.
“Owkay~”
“Baby! Would you help— Sica? Hee? She’s gone?“
I hear Yuri called me but I’m pretending didn’t hear that and walked away to outside the door.
I texted Taeyeon to meet me at Central Park.
I can’t do this anymore.
7.42 p.m
“Taeyeon. I’ll kick your s you if I see your face.” I hissed.
Taeyeon said if she may come late, exactly very late. I’ve ordered a glass of hot chocolate fot the third times. I really need to get out from this stressed, and I know only Taeyeon who care with my problem.
I look at my watch, it says 7.42.
Okay, 8 p.m I’ll go home.
BOOM!!!!
BOOM!!!!
“FIRE!! FIRE!!! FIRE!!!” Suddenly someone from the nearby restaurant shouting. This mall is in fire. Don't know what the cause is, everyone get panicked including me. They're running to the better place, I’m just following the others to a better place. Or not.
And my instinct was right. We’re all going to the wrong side. The crowded was panicked, tears started falling from my eyes. I don’t want to die now. I have career, I have friends, family. I can’t leave like this.
7.45 p.m
“Uh, sir, what happ—“
“CENTRAL PARK IS ON FIRE! COME NOW!”
“Alright.”
8 p.m
Fire growing faster, very hard to breathing because of smoke and hot atmosphere. The wall starting colapse little by little. Everyone’s here screaming their God, their family name, maybe their parents, kids, spouse.
Yuri.
I need you, Yul.
“Yuri yah, I need you...” I whispered and crying silently.
“Yuri—“
“SICA!” I hear someone screaming my name but I can’t moved my body. She’s Yuri.
Oh GOD, she’s coming to save my life.
“ I’m scared. God help me. Yuri yah, help me.” I closed my eyes and only can whispered while crying. I’m sure this building would colapse anytime soon, and I don’t want to die yet.
BOOM!! BOOM!!
BOOM!!
“I’m scared. Help me.” I whispered while crying after hear another exploding sound and the floor where I’m standing now is shaking furiously.
“Please... help me...” Still whispering. It’s hard to breathe now, too much smoke in my lung, I can’t do it anymore.
“Yuri... help—“
“It’s ok, I’m here. Bab— Sica.” Yuri is coming. She’s coming to save me. I look at her in awe.
“Yuri yah.” I hugged her and crying loudly.
She soothed me if we’re all will be alright and makes me wear a masker. Then she guide me to the exit way that the fire fighters made to save the other people in this building. I hold her hand tightly, I feel so scared.
When we’re about to go out from that building, she called her friend to take me away from her.
“YOONG! TAKE HER!”
“Wha— where are you going? Don’t leave... please...” I don’t let her hand go, I grip her arm tightly.
“Sica, it’s my job, the others needs me too.” She smiled.
“No... please... you don’t love me?“
“Ssssh, I love you. Sorry.”
“Finally, it’s extinguished.” The head of fire fighters said. “Good job, kids!”
About 3 hundreds people saved from the burnt building and I’m the one of them. Caused of the fire was still unknown but half of the Central Park building was burnt.
Still wearing a masker, I walking slowly, searching someone that I might know and then I found her, Yoona, Yuri’s team mate.
“Yoona-ssi!”
“Ah! Jessica-ssi!” Her face seems panicked.
“Where is Yuri?“ “Did you see Yuri?”
We asked simultaneously.
“What?” Why she asked me? Don’t tell me if...
“I— I don’t know but she isn’t here. We can’t find her.”
“She’s my hero, Tae. Always be my hero. My guardian. My girl. My lover. My husband... My Yuri.”
“What do you feel now, Sica? Sorry for asking.”
I look at her.
“You’re right, Tae.”
Once again, I can’t hold my tears back.
“Hello, Yuri.”
“Where I am?”
“Ummm. Hospital I guess.”
“Sorry, who are you?”
“I am...”
END
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