Sat, 9 December

I love Taemin and it's enough for me. I don't need anything. The presence of Taemin is enough for me to complete my life. But still, sometimes I wonder did Taemin loves me? Did Taemin happy to be together with me? Sometimes I felt stabbing pain in my heart. Yes, it's hurt and I'm scared. Why? Why I felt like this?

Maybe I know the reasons. It started when we went for our simple first date at a cafe. He told me about Jongin. Yes, Jongin, his first love of his life. But he's already gone and I needed to understand that, so I let he talked about Jongin. I let he cried everything. On our first date.

And when he first slept at my house, he was hesitant. Later, I figured out that he was the last person that touched him. He probably didn't want anyone to taint his fingertips out of his skin. Not even me. So, again, I just let it go because maybe he still hurt and sad.

And when I first called him love, he couldn't even looked at me. It took him two weeks to hear that without making funny faces. But still I hope that he will call me the same name I called him. I knew that I needed to wait. Maybe that day will come. Maybe.

I'm not afraid of his ghost. Is just that sometimes I can feel him between us. Sometimes, I can see him in your eyes and sometimes I feel that Taemin was going to say his name instead of mine. It's hurts so much.

Taemin, let me love you. Let me gives you the happiness and life that you deserves. I can't replace him but I can give you my heart. I love you. Let me love you Lee Taemin.

a/n  i don't know what is this T.T