Enjoy the oneshot lovies♥ I don't know when and where I should place this but think of this song and perhaps play it throughout the story. I love Tarzan xD https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=u0FXsu82Bfo 

You were currently resting in your bed after a long and hard day. Once again you were alone in the bed that you've grown accustomed to.You tossed and turned to your right,gazing at the empty space abreast you. It's been days,day in and day out and you've been sleeping alone. You dearly missed your lover. You missed your husband.

Ah your husband. Dong Youngbae or how he is famously known as Taeyang.  Husband. That word still sends tingles down your spine whenever you envisage your beloved significant other. It's been ten years since you two have been together and within those ten,the last four were marriage years. You remembered the day he had proposed to you.

It was another weekend and normally you two would go do outreach and play with the local children at the orphanage that your church served at weekly. Of course being in a relationship with a singer meant that privacy was at a minimum but Taeyang demanded it because it was your time to bond and grow with Christ and these children. At first everyone couldn't get over the fact that one of the singers from BigBang is dating a foreigner...A black one at that. Your lovely afro which always caught people's attention and your rich brown skin that made you stand out what was made you stunning in Taeyang's eyes. You were a sight to behold to your boyfriend and your current husband. 

It was a challenge being with him. There were fans that supported you two all the way and hoped for happiness and even beautiful mixed babies and there were ones that hated the fact that you two were together especially that it was you. A black woman. It got terrible when fans started sending hate mail but Taeyang couldn't and wouldn't accept it and told his fans up front in public along with the rest of BigBang and YG that it was final. He loved you and always would. The boys adored you and even YG himself. After that all went better for the both of you.

As you were playing with the children, Taeyang gazed at you and you couldn't help but blush because you could clearly see the endearment in his eyes. He truly loved you. This felt so real. It was that love that left you breathless. You know how we continually ask who is right for us and how? You definitely found your answer, it was Taeyang. He reminded you of Jesus. Taeyang called you to go to a room alone so that you could kneel in prayer like you two normally always did.

"Youngbae..." you whispered to him. He never wanted you to call him by his stage name. He turned to your side and softly touched your cheek with his hand delicately. You leaned into his hand and treasured his touch.

"Close your eyes. I want to show you something." At that moment a few of the kids came in quietly and formed a circle around you. Taeyang went on his knees and told you to open your eyes. Once you did,you were speechless. Everywhere you looked you saw a happy face with flowers and when you looked down and saw Taeyang on his knees,you became teary-eyed and gasped.

"Baby. I know how we've had a rough relationship but you stuck through it especially when I had tours and concerts. I love you so much babe. You motivate me to be a better man for you and Christ. When I see you,I see Him. You are definitely that Proverbs 31 woman and I try be that Ephesians 5 man and together create that 1st Corinthians 13 love. I see myself with you,having a family and doing more for the Lord. He blessed me with you and I honour that blessing. When I first saw you,I knew that you were the woman that He was preparing me for." You saw tears form In his eyes but he still wasn't done.

"I-I" his voice started breaking because his emotions got the best of him. "You are so beautiful and I always picture how our children would be like as you ad their mother. I wish that you could see yourself through my eyes. You are a gift. You are a queen. My queen. I've been preparing for this moment,praying for so many months and... What I'm trying to say is... Will you marry me?" He asked as he flashed the diamnd ring with a smile as you just stood there in awe. The moment finally happened. You nodded your head vehemently with a sheepish smile.

"Y-yes." You choked out."yes. I want to be your wife. I want you to be my husband." Taeyang smiled that adorable and dashing smile that he always did and hugged you. You embraced him and cried into his shoulder.

"I love you so much" He said as he wiped your tears away. You kissed his cheek and finally his lips. He kissed you with so much passion and love that it swept you off your feet.

"Saranghae jagi." You replied as you pulled him into another embrace.

 You chuckled as you thought back to that amazing memory. While you were looking at the ceiling and lights, you saw the doorknob turn and saw Taeyang come in with your son,Youngjae. He was two years old with black curls that sprouted from his head in the shape of an afro just like you. He definitely got that from you but he inherited most of his features from his father even his sweet little heart. He had a skin tone that complimented both of your skin tones like a perfect mixture. Dong Youngjae,born and raised in Korea but never forgot his mother's roots and heritage, Youngjae was certainly going to be an amazing boy with rich cultural heritages especially being the son of an artist who loves God. He approached your bed while holding Taeyang's hand with a flower.

"Hi mommy. I got you a flower well daddy got more,but I still got one for you" the young boy greeted with a sheepish and sweet smile. He was always a momma's boy and he knew it even at his young and tender age. 

"Hi cupcake. Thank you so much. Hey jagi" you said as you looked at your husband as he kissed you gently on the lips and cheek with a small smile on his face

 You haven't seen him smile in a long time ever since you were diagnosed with cervical cancer about six months ago,exactly half a year after Youngjae's second birthday. After you gave birth to him and all the normal  periods of being a mother with feeding,you started feeling pains. You shrugged them off at first but once they got severe,you and Taeyang decided to go to the doctor and that was when you were told that you were diagnosed with cancer. You couldn't look at yourself or Taeyang anymore. It was so devastating and heartbreaking. Just when you just started a family,this had to have happened . It was heart wrenching for you to imagine your little boy seeing his mother all sick and frail.

You couldn't understand this. Why would this happen? Taeyang stood by you all the way and prayed for you. He believed that you were going to get better but not only that,he was going to be there by your side. Day by day you still lived a normal life and your praying husband even asked the church to pray for you. Once word got out that you had cancer, fans,local and international were behind you all the way. They even made pages and hashtags for you like #prayfortaebae which warmed your heart because things had changed and it was amazing to know that his fans were behind you guys.

You both never lost sight of God and always looked to Him. Things seemed to get better until you started coughing up blood the one day when you and Youngjae decided to visit the gang at the studio. It was when everyone held a surprise birthday party for the birthday boy Youngjae and while you were enjoying the company,the unfortunate mishap happened when you coughed blood on your hand and Seungri noticed it and asked if you were okay. You assured him that you were until you collapsed and fainted.

Ever since that day you've been in hospital. It just got worse and there was nothing that you could do. You tried the chemotherapy and everything but nothing worked. You lost your hair and glow though Taeyang still found you beautiful regardless of your frail state. 

"How are you? The boys miss you." He asked as he smiled at you. You missed his smile so much . He had grown his hair out and you could see signs of facial hair. It has been a while since you've seen him since they had to go to Japan for a while to promote their Japanese album and Youngjae stayed with Taeyang's parents since you were too weak to take care of him.

"I've been better. I miss them too. I miss all of you. My men...How have you been?" You replied and asked. He chuckled. Oh how you've missed his laugh. He held your hand and told you everything that had been happening in his life along with your son who would add things..

"Mommy,  daddy hasn't stopped crying. Oops... that was a secret. I think he is lonely just like me. We want you home." Youngjae butted in. The innocence was so adorable and you couldn't help but hold both your husband's and son's hand. You looked at both of them with a cheerful smile. Taeyang looked different as always since he constantly needed to change his look but this time, he didn't have that huge glow that he always had to him. His charisma wasn't there. Youngjae was growing up to be more like his father day by day and started gaining complexion. You looked at your husband and saw a tear fall out of his eyes. He mouthed "I miss you." and you just felt like crying too. 

"I miss you so much it hurts." You said aloud. Youngjae stood up and excused himself to go to the bathroom and get a snack. The nurse escorted the young boy while you and Taeyang sat still with silence engulfing the both of you. It was better for the toddler not to hear this conversation since he was young anyway.

"Does he know?" You asked him once the door was closed and the young boy was out of the hearing vicinity. You looked at Taeyang then at your intertwined hands. Seeing your hands contrast each other was always beautiful in your eyes. You noticed his ring still on his finger and that made you happy yet cringe at the unhappy feeling settling on your soul.

"No. You know what they say,  'ignorance is bliss'. I don't think that he would want to know that he won't be seeing his mother anymore . I don't want to...know that I'm going to lose my wife soon." He whispered with tears falling out of his eyes. He squeezed your hand and just couldn't stop crying. "Jagi, I don't want you to leave me. I don't know what to do anymore. We miss our Lady. I miss my wife.."

"Shhh don't say that. Don't worry. I trust that God knows what He is doing and so should you. It's only a matter of time. For now I'd like to discuss things about Youngjae's future." You replied with a melancholic tone. Taeyang gave you a hard nod and you two began talking about how things would go about once you were gone. He couldn't help crying and so did you but you had to have this conversation with him. You even told him that you've hidden a box of letters for you and Youngjae under your bed and should get them once you pass...

Youngjae entered and noticed your solemn faces and he came and sat on your bed to wipe your eyes."What's wrong mommy?"

"Nothing dear. Don't you want to get some water for me on that table over there?" You asked him. He nodded and got the water for you. Once he sat back down next to you,you reached out for him . His warm tiny hand sent a warm feeling to your heart. A mother knows and you were content for the first ever since this illness. 

"Sweetie..." you addressed as the young boy looked your way. All you could see was Taeyang in him. Oh how he would definitely be catching hearts when he is older yet sadly you wouldn't be there to teach him to be a proper boy. Looking at his face was hard enough already but you had to tell the boy how you feel.

"I want you to know something. I love you baby and always make me proud and happy. You may be young and won't understand what I'm saying but be good to your father okay and don't forget me okay?" You finished with a smile. The young boy looked at you with a smile and nodded. He grasped your hand and squeezed it.

"Why are you saying that? Of course I'll never forget you . You're my momma. I'm going to be seeing you tomorrow,the next day and the day after that. I will always love you." He replied with a toothless smile. You just cried as you saw the pure innocence and it was sad to you. You said everything to the little boy and your husband before you called it a night. Taeyang asked if he and Youngjae could sleep over and the doctor allowed it since they knew.... Before you three went to sleep,Taeyang and Youngjae prayed making you cheerful. 

The next morning when Taeyang woke up from the sound of busy doctors and looked up at you and he felt that your hands were cold. This made him wake up fully from his daze until he looked up at the monitor and saw that you had no heartbeat. The sound and feeling of his heart being crushed was unbearable to him. No words were able to describe what he felt and he just shut his eyes and felt the tears coming once again. Not a new feeling at all. He may have been crying a lot but who wouldn't for their spouse that they loved?. The sound of Taeyang sobbing awoke your son and he wanted to wake you up but Taeyang shouted at him,scaring the boy until the doctor and the team of nurses came and escorted the two males out. Youngjae slipped out and ran back to your lifeless body and cried for you.

"Mommy wake up. They're taking us away." He said but you didn't budge.Taeyang shouted and scolded people and couldn't believe what was going on. This all felt surreal to him and he couldn't believe it. The sound of patient and empathetic doctors and nurses and a weeping Youngjae all knocked Taeyang into reality that made him realise that,

You have died and everything that you ever thought or felt vanished and was gone forever, but one thing will always remain.

You will always be in Taeyang's heart

 My first ever oneshot^^ I've already started writing another story with Gikwang based on a book that is one of my favourite s,One Day.