Myungsoo was in his first year in Junior high school when he saw the fairest girl of them all; a senior student at his junior high school. His heart stopped beating and partly forgot to breathe as the girl walked down the pavement and towards the bus stop where he was waiting. She had dark brown locks, naturally straight and silky, and her uniform just showed off her beautiful curves without making her a ty wannabe. Myungsoo was just at awe at the beautiful girl that he had gotten knocked by a couple off students wanting to board the bus to go home.

“Bye Eunsook! Bye Gyusook!” he heard one of the girls waved and then turned to a corner.

“Eunsook Noona!” He heard a guy yell out, a shorter boy who was running towards the girls and then handed the taller a paper bag before waving and running back to the other direction.

Myungsoo smiled, he now knew her name.

But Myungsoo came to learn that Gyusook didn’t like boys in particular because when he unintentionally by an alley near the school district, he had overheard Gyusook decline a potential suitor, telling him that her priority is her education and it would be unfair to go into a relationship half hearted. Myungsoo pitied the boy but then again, he liked that since he has a few more years to buy before he could ask her out somehow.

He couldn’t even fathom how he became a stalker but he would spend his lunch breaks searching for her and observing her, creepy by the books of his best friend Sungyeol but he just shrugged it off. But when an opportunity came, he grabbed it. During a school festival, Gyusook’s class were on Maid café and Myungsoo was dragged by his best friend who was addicted to coffee. Myungsoo blushed as Gyusook and Eunsook, Myungsoo learned that they were twins at some point, served them coffee.

“Eunsook noona, please?” They heard a boy whine from the other table and Eunsook chuckled and then went to the boy’s side and smiled as the boy took out his phone for a selca. The boy giggled happily and thanked her before he happily paid the bill and left.

“Aish, you keep entertaining him. Don’t give Jonghyun false hope if you are not serious about him!” Gyusook reprimanded her twin sister.

“Who said that I am not interested?” Eunsook replied as she winked at her sister and then walked towards the counter with Jonghyun’s empty coffee cup.

“Ah, noona?” Sungyeol called out and Eunsook beamed him a smile.

“Yes?” She replied.

“Can we get selca too?” Sungyeol asked. ‘I mean, it’s just that you are really pretty.” Sungyeol uttered and Eunsook smiled at him.

“That’s alright.” She said then pulled her sister and they posed next to the two frosh.

Myungsoo couldn’t breathe at that moment because his ultimate crush was next to him and it was something he didn’t expect but loved at the same time. When the picture was taken, Sungyeol thanked the girls then poked his best friend while he grinned. “Give me your phone.” Sungyeol demanded but Myungsoo was like a stone statue. Sungyeol shook his head and grabbed it from Myungsoo’s back pocket.

“Hey!” Myungsoo uttered when he snapped back to reality.

Sungyeol grinned as he handed back Myungsoo’s phone and the younger friend’s jaw dropped when he saw his new screensaver.

It was a cropped picture of Myungsoo and Gyusook and Sungyeol was proud of his work.  Myungsoo couldn’t stop grinning at the picture and that had made him treasure the picture more than anything in this world.

Myungsoo became mildly obsessed with his crush that he had taken a liking to taking pictures of her in secret and safe distances. He first used his phone then when Gyusook graduated junior high and entered Senior high, he moved to using his mother’s digital camera. Taking pictures required a lot of technique and skills but Myungsoo had learned to master them by tugging along his sister Gwiboon who was head over heals over at a teen idol who happened to be her schoolmate. His sister was a fansite master and Myungsoo observed her take shots after shots of her idol.

During white day, Myungsoo decided that he would have enough courage to give Gyusook some chocolates. He walked up to the girl who was seated by a bench by a park near their school and flashed her a nervous smile. He extended a white paper bag and cleared his throat when Gyusook spoke.

“I am sorry but my priority is my education.” She said and Myungsoo nodded. “besides, I like an older guy. I really am sorry.” Gyusook said and Myungsoo felt like a dagger was plunged into his heart.

“I understand.” He smiled bitterly and then turned to leave, quickly hiding the tears that were bound to fall.

After that heartbreak, he continued to fall in love with the girl but knowing her preference; he just kept his distance and learned to admire her from  afar. During this time, he had saved enough money to buy a hand-me-down DSLR camera to use to take pictures of his beloved noona.  He learned to master his photographs and by the time he entered senior high school, he had a collection of picture of the beautiful angel that captured his heart.

He had invested on memory cards and external hard drive to store the countless pictures he had taken, of a lot of them Gyusook gushing like a beautiful bride and her smiles vibrant as the summer sun. Myungsoo’s obsession had made him better in photography, his skills can rival trained professional and his pictures were outstanding. But he knew rejection meant to keep his distance so he remained far away as possible, even changing directions when he saw her walking towards his way. He bowed low when he couldn’t avoid bumping into her and he would just fade away without being noticed.

Myungsoo’s a stalker and he would hate to use the word but he was. But could he help himself when he was obsessed beyond words over a girl who doesn’t like younger boys? During the school festival, Myungsoo found himself watching the school play where his dearly beloved noona was lead together with his sister’s biggest idol crush Woohyun. His eyes rolled as his sister lash out curses due to the idol being intimate with Gyusook.  He could have smacked his sister because it’s Gyusook she’s lashing out but he figured that his sister doesn’t need to know his obsession.

He took out his camera and snapped away, taking shots after shots of the pretty girl portraying a lot of emotions that he figured he would never see up close or given to him. He sighed at that, he’ll never be able to get near his most beloved noona.

When Gyusook graduated, Myungsoo was devastated, because he won’t be able to see her that often. Gyusook and her twin Eunsook decided to go to Seoul National University which is a 2 hour bus ride from their place. He pouted at that, learning how to navigate his high school schedule and stalking. He sighed really loudly because that proved to be expensive and time consuming. He groaned but then, he really wanted to see her so badly so he’ll take the risk.

His first time stalking her was a little hard, he was lost on his way to campus and he had only enough money for his bus tickets. He waited for a long time before he saw the familiar brown locks. He smiled to himself seeing her, tucked in a safe distance and out of view. He somehow forgotten how tired he was and how hungry he had gotten from all the waiting. He took out his camera and took a few shots before he went home, satisfied that he could do it again at least once a week.

His fascination with Gyusook grew, even daring to have his best pictures printed out and framing it on his wall. He would look at the bright smiles and would tell himself that Gyusook was smiling at him. He would make himself believe that he was the person Gyusook was looking at and his heart would just swell with happiness. Though he made himself believe in false hope, it was enough for him, because the reality he lived in would not make him this happy; because he knew that she could never like him back.

When he graduated high school, he had taken an apartment near Seoul National University and had taken up Finance as his course. He had gotten to know Gyusook’s schedule so that he’ll be close to her room but not be her classmate; he knew the girl would not like to see him. But his English elective proved to be difficult because he was not only classmate with Gyusook, but her twin sister and her boyfriend as well.

He came to know how Jonghyun succeeded in having a relationship with Eunsook; his steadfast efforts to show her that he was dead serious about loving her and the older girl repaid him with her sweetest yes.

Myungsoo sat by the back, wanting to go unnoticed by the group as he tried to listen to the lesson at hand. By the end of class, he was the first one out of the room to make sure that he stayed invisible and then went on to his classes like a good student he promised his parents he would be. But after his classes, he would take out his camera and walk around campus, searching for spots that will give him good distance as he take pictures of his dearly beloved. He would always go home with a goofy smile and recap the pictures he had taken, choosing one to print out and decorate his apartment wall.

By the end of midterms, he had decided to take on a part time job at a fast food chain to cover for his expenses and to buy himself a new camera. His old camera was dying out on him and he badly wanted the new Canon DSLR. He greeted customers with a smile and many college girls fell for his charms. The supervisor noticed this and knew that he’ll draw large crowds after. He had given Myungsoo the position of cashier and that proved to be profitable.

On one late night shift, Myungsoo’s heart stopped as Gyusook walked in with a couple of friends and a boy he wasn’t familiar with. He wanted to hide but he was the only one manning the register so he just it in and greeted them with his bright smile. The noona cooed at him, he was good looking after all, but he saw Gyusook roll her eyes and Myungsoo realized that he really doesn’t have any chance at all. They ordered a bucket of chicken and some fries and Myungsoo punched them in and handed the order. And because he was that charming, the noona gave him a tip he never really needed so he put it in the register. The supervisor saw him and smiled, he’ll keep Myungsoo as his employee for as long as he could.

Myungsoo found college life difficult to balance but he didn’t give up, his studies, his work and his stalking; taking pictures of Gyusook made him the happiest.

One weekend, he was stalking her as usual when an incident happened. He was seated at one of the benches a few meters away from Gyusook who was reading a book by a coffee shop when He felt a hand on his shoulder and his camera was taken away. He looked up and saw Jonghyun and Eunsook. He gulped then bowed his head in embarrassment.

“Are you a stalker?” Jonghyun asked as he browsed the pictures Myungsoo had taken and he was impressed.

There was silence from Myungsoo and Eunsook sighed.

“I am not mad at you Myungsoo, I do appreciate that you like my sister but wouldn’t it be better if you confessed to her?” Eunsook asked him but Myungsoo shook his head.

“She already rejected me.” Myungsoo said and then turned to Jonghyun. “You can delete them. I didn’t mean to be a creeper.” He said but Jonghyun shook his head.

“Hey, you take amazing photos so why waste it.” Jonghyun grinned. “How about you take our pictures?” Jonghyun asked and Myungsoo nodded.

“Sure.” He replied just as Jonghyun returned the camera.

“Great, how about now?” Jonghyun uttered, pulling  Eunsook to sit next to him just as Myungsoo prepared to take their picture.

He asked them to pose and soon he was snapping away. After a few shots, Myungsoo showed them the pictures and both Eunsook and Jonghyun were amazed at the quality of it. But Myungsoo got a surprise when Eunsook called out her sister to join them. Gyusook walked up to them and soon, Eunsook was posing with her and asking Myungsoo to take their picture. Gyusook was surprised and frowned but Eunsook pouted at her sister and told her about how they haven’t had their pictures taken together in years. Gyusook sighed and posed for a shot and that’s all Myungsoo needed to have the perfect picture of the twins. He captured their beautiful smiles and Myungsoo can’t help his heart from beating hard and fast.

“When can we get the pictures?” Jonghyun asked and Myungsoo needed a minute to process it.

“Oh, do you want me to print it or would you like the soft copy?” Myungsoo asked.

“I think we need both.” Jonghyun replied and Myungsoo nodded.

“Do you have a flash disk?” Myungsoo asked and Jonghyun nodded, grabbing one from his bag and handing it to the photographer. “I would need a few days to process the picture.” He added but Eunsook had a better idea.

“Why don’t we watch you edit it, I would like to choose which picture to print out.” She suggested and Myungsoo nodded.

“I have things to do.” Gyusook declined and bid her goodbye.

Myungsoo expected it so he just kept silent and returned his old camera inside his bag. “Please follow me.” Myungsoo uttered and led them towards his apartment nearby.

The first thing that Jonghyun and Eunsook noticed when they were inside Myungsoo’s apartment was the large picture of Gyusook smiling shyly while looking at a distant view. “Hey Myungsoo, you really take professional looking pictures.” Jonghyun remarked and Myungsoo thanked them.

“Why aren’t you taking Visual arts and photography?” Eusnook asked and Myungsoo sighed before answering.

“It’s not a profession I am considering. I would sooner or later give up on it anyway.” Myungsoo remarked, setting up his computer to edit the picture he had taken earlier.

“I hope it’s not too soon because I am planning to make you our wedding photographer!” Jonghyun remarked and Eunsook slapped him on his chest.

“What are you talking about? You are being cheap and you haven’t even proposed to me yet!” She uttered and Jonghyun grinned at her.

“I am just planning ahead and besides, he takes really great photos.” Jonghyun pointed out and Myungsoo thanked them.

Myungsoo led them to his studio room where he edit his work and kept most of his works and the couple were really surprised at the extent of Myungsoo’s works. There were a lot of printed photographs of Gyusook in various sizes and they were all breath taking.

“It must cost a fortune to have them printed out. You have such an expensive hobby.” Jonghyun remarked and Myungsoo just shrugged his shoulders.

They chose from the list and selected a very romantic shot. Myungsoo then edited it a bit to enhance the picture and saved it on Jonghyun’s flash disk. “There’s a shop across town where I order my prints, larger formats may take a few days to process.” Myungsoo told them and the two nodded.

“Thank you for doing this Myungsoo.” Eunsook thanked him and myungsoo smiled at her.

“I’m sorry for being a creep.” Myungsoo bowed at them in apology.

“Hey, its okay, we are not mad at you.” Jonghyun said and Myungsoo smiled at them,

When Myungsoo entered his shared class the following Monday, he was surprised that Jonghyun called him out and let him sit next to him, while the twins took seats in front of them. “Sit here from now on okay?” Jonghyun said and Myungsoo looked at a frowning Gyusook then to back to Jonghyun.

“I prefer to sit at the back. Thank you.” He bowed then left them to sit at his usual chair. Myungsoo never looked at their direction.

“You said that she rejected you?” Jonghyun asked as he sat next to Myungsoo during lunch and the younger nodded.

“Yeah, she told me that she liked older guys.” Myungsoo replied and Jonghyun sighed next to him.

“And you just give up after?” Jonghyun asked again and Myungsoo nodded.

“I wanted to try again but every time we meet, she just frowns at me and I take the hint that she doesn’t like me at all. So I just kept admiring her from a distance.” Myungsoo told him and Jonghyun noticed the sadness in Myungsoo’s voice.

“You take really good pictures of Gyusook noona, you capture her smile beautifully.” Jonghyun remarked.

“Because those are genuine smiles, uninhibited and pure. Because she doesn’t know someone is taking pictures of here, she can smile freely.” Myungsoo explained.

“Does it hurt?” Jonghyun asked and Myungsoo sighed.

“It does, but I just tell myself that she is smiling at me, that in my own world, I get to see her smile back at me.” Myungsoo said and Jonghyun felt a pain through his heart; he wanted to help this guy because he reminded him of himself when he was pursuing Eunsook.

Myungsoo was called by his supervisor when he was ending his shift and was surprised to see him with an envelope at hand. It was full of cash and Myungsoo was a little bit scared at how it was going. “Do you know what this means Myungsoo?” He asked and Myungsoo gulped as he shook his head.

“I know nothing sir. I didn’t take any money from the register, I swear I didn’t.” Myungsoo replied and his supervisor grinned at him

“I know you didn’t take any of it, but you are guilty of putting more in it.” He said and Myungsoo looked at him wide eyed. “I saw you put in your tips inside it.” He smiled at Myungsoo. “This is yours Myungsoo, you deserve this.” He said and he handed the envelope to Myungsoo.

“I can’t take this sir.” He replied but his manager shook his head.

“It’s yours to keep Myungsoo, I know that you’ve wanted to buy a new camera, you can now afford it.” He smiled and then left Myungsoo.

True enough, Myungsoo was able to buy his new camera and his happiness was through the roof as he held the black camera, shiny and new, and admired it like his baby. He could now take better pictures and he’ll be able to document more of Gyusook. He was excited about everything that he could do with his baby and he found hope burning inside his heart. He then looked at the pictures framed and hanging on his wall and smiled, knowing that he could capture more of that beautiful smile of his noona.

“Please smile more noona, smile for me.” He said before going to bed.

But Gyusook never smiled; maybe she had learned about Myungsoo’s stalking, maybe she got an idea that Myungsoo was taking her pictures. Myungsoo frowned as he looked at the pictures that he took, Gyusook was frowning in each frame. Myungsoo sighed as he kept the camera and went on to his shift.

He saw Gyusook enter the fast food chain and he tried his best to act casual and normal. He greeted her warmly but Gyusook was expressionless as she ordered her fries and burger. Myungsoo took her order and handed her the food, thanking her courteously but Gyusook jut walked away. Myungsoo looked on and then pursed his lips, he knew he was hated.

Myungsoo knocked on the door of an apartment across town and was surprised to see Gyusook open the door. She frowned seeing the cause of disturbance and Myungsoo was left speechless. “I.. I am looking.. for Eunsook-ssi.” Myungsoo stuttered and Gyusook rolled her eyes.

“Eunsook, you have a visitor.” She shouted and left the door, leaving Myungsoo awkwardly standing by the door as he was not invited to enter.

Eunsook came to the door and she was surprised that Myungsoo was standing there awkwardly. “Come in.” She invited him and Myungsoo finally stepped inside the apartment. “Thank you for doing this.” She uttered just as Myungsoo handed a large package for her.

“It’s not a problem.” He uttered and then bowed before he turned to leave.

“Hey, would you like something to drink?” Eunsook asked but Myungsoo shook his head.

“I have work to do.” He bowed again and left.

Eunsook bid him good bye and thanked him again before she opened the package containing the framed picture of the twins. She smiled at how brilliant Myungsoo’s work was and she admired it a little more before she hanged it on their wall. Gyusook entered their living room and frowned as she looked at the new picture hanging on their wall.

“Amazing isn’t it?” Eunsook asked but Gyusook shook her head. ‘Why do you hate him so much? He did nothing to you.” Eunsook pointed out.

“He is a stalker!” Gyusook said and Eunsook sighed at that.

“What makes you think so?” Eunsook asked back and Gyusook crossed her arms across her chest.

“Him carrying a camera all day and staying in a far distance doesn’t make him one? And oh, how about taking pictures of someone without permission?” She asked back to her twin.

“So you knew? Why don’t you stop him then?” Eunsook asked and Gyusook pouted at that. “If you don’t like it then tell him to stop.” Eunsook uttered and Gyusook nodded her head harshly,

“Maybe I will.” Gyusook said and then stomped to her room.

When Myungsoo was sitting on a bench across the coffee shop that Gyusook frequented, he was surprised to see Gyusook approach him. He bowed his head as Gyusook confronted him,

“Why won’t you stop stalking me? I told you already that you are not my type, so why do this?” Gyusook asked and Myungsoo was like a deer caught in the headlights.

“I’m sorry.” Myungsoo bowed 90 degrees to show that he was serious with his apology.

“Hand me your camera.” Gyusook demanded and Myungsoo took the said camera from his bag.

He handed it to Gyusook who took a look at the gallery. She frowned as she looked at the countless pictures of her. She was furious about it that she immediately deleted the pictures. “I did not give you permission to take my pictures!” Gyusook uttered and Myungsoo bit his lip as he looked at his shoes, fingers curling and uncurling in nervousness. She then shoved the camera towards Myungsoo who was caught in surprise and wasn’t quick enough to catch the camera and it went down to the pavement with a loud crash.

They were both at shock as the camera broke into pieces but Myungsoo heard his heart also breaking with it. Gyusook looked at Myungsoo who tried to hide his tears but ultimately failed. He knelt down and picked up the pieces before grabbing his bag and walking away, but not without bowing at Gyusook.

Gyusook noticed that Myungsoo never came to English class come Monday, nor he was in for his usual shift, she knew she should apologize but Myungsoo was MIA to even do that. With no option left, she asked Jonghyun for Myungsoo’s apartment address. She knocked on the door and was greeted by a surprised Myungsoo. He let her in, offering some juice to drink. Myungsoo left her to fix the juice and Gyusook noticed the picture hanging on the wall. It was her picture, a stolen shot but it was very breathtakingly beautiful. But despite that, it made her angry.

“I don’t intend to stay very long.” She uttered and then placed a paper bag on the table. “This is for breaking your camera.” She uttered then turned to leave.

“I don’t need it anymore.” Myungsoo replied, quickly returning the item.

“Oh please, what would you want me to do? Don’t hold this against me. Be glad that I am replacing your camera despite me feeling violated by seeing my picture hanging on a stalker’s wall.” She pointed out and left the apartment.

Myungsoo took the bag and he can’t help but let the tears fall. He can’t help it, he felt like he was being tortured by endless daggers into his heart. He walked to his studio and looked at the pictures hanging on his wall. He took in the smiles and he felt his heart break a few more times. It wasn’t working anymore and he knew that this is the time to give up the fight.

Eunsook was fuming mad when she approached her twin sister regarding Myungsoo. She knew her sister would stop Myungsoo from stalking her but it didn’t include breaking his camera.

“I replaced it okay? I used the money I was saving to buy my laptop to replace it so why would you fuzz over it?” Gyusook shouted back at her sister.

“It’s not the point; you don’t have any idea what Myungsoo had to go through to buy that camera.” Eunsook pointed out.

“What about me? He stalked me and took pictures of me.” Gyusook shouted. “Why would you even side with him when I am your twin sister!” Gyusook was fuming as well.

“Fine, I’m sorry. I just wished you could have given him a chance.” Eunsook uttered then left her sister.

Gyusook noticed that Myungsoo wasn’t attending English class anymore and came to know that he dropped the course already. What surprised her is that Myungsoo dropped out of SNU all together, returning to their hometown to enrol at a local college. Gyusook shrugged her thoughts away, she doesn’t need Myungsoo anyway; he’s not her type.

Jonghyun and Eunsook went to Myungsoo’s apartment one night, and Myungsoo welcomed them warmly. They noticed that the apartment was already stripped down and the picture of Gyusook was taken down and was on the process of being wrapped.

“What are your plans for all the pictures that you took?” Jonghyun asked and Myungsoo smiled at him.

“I think I would keep them inside a box to store.” Myungsoo uttered, sighing loudly.

“Can I browse through them and get a few pictures to keep?” Eunsook asked and Myungsoo nodded. “Thank you, Omma would love to have these pictures.” She said and Myungsoo smiled a bit.

Myungsoo then handed an envelope to Eunsook which surprised her. “It’s the money I exchanged for the camera Gyusook-nim handed to me.” He said.

“But Photography is your life.” Eunsook remarked.

“I only liked photography because I could capture Gyusook-ssi’s emotions in it. But it’s not the case anymore.” Myungsoo uttered and then smiled at them bitterly.

“What about our wedding photo?” Jonghyun mock whined.

‘I can still use my old camera; she can take on the challenge.” Myungsoo offered and Jonghyun smiled at him.

When everything’s said and done, Myungsoo wrapped everything up and then left Seoul to return to his hometown. He took in a deep breath as he returned to his room and unpacked his things. He then put all his photographs down the basement and took out a few ones to display. They were pictures of Gyusook frowning and Myungsoo made himself realize a truth he knew a long time ago but refused to believed in.

“She hated me, she frowns at me.” He repeated over and over again, tears falling down his face.

---

Eunsook handed Gyusook the money and the latter was surprised by it. “He didn’t need the camera so he is returning this to you.” Eunsook uttered and Gyusook rolled her eyes.

“So he wants me to look bad?” She asked and Eunsook sighed.

“No, don’t you get it? He is giving up on you.” Eunsook answered and then left her sister.

Gyusook rolled her eyes and sighed, Myungsoo is surely a headache.

---

Eunsook and Gyusook returned to their hometown for their birthday and Myungsoo wasn’t sure if he should attend it. But he found out that he had no choice when Jonghyun came knocking on his front door to pick him up. He brought his old camera along and two gift bags for the twins. He took in a deep breath as he entered the house and greeted the twins on their birthday. He bowed  at the elders out of courtesy. Gyusook wasn’t happy to see him so he avoided her at all cost. He was awkward the entire dinner with his head bowed and he avoided eye contact.

The awkwardness continued when Gyusook’s parents urged her to find a boyfriend already and they were eyeing Myungsoo.

“Oh please not this again.” Gyusook rolled her eyes.

Myungsoo stayed silent, opting not to speak and wished to be unnoticed but failing miserably.

“Myungsoo, how about you?” Gyusook’s father asked and Myungsoo shook his head lightly. “you don’t have someone you like at the moment?” He asked and Myungsoo shook his head, afraid his voice would crack.

“Appa, Myungsoo isn’t comfortable with these questions.” Eunsook pointed out.

“I am just trying to loosen him a bit.” He uttered light heartedly.

Myungsoo smiled a bit but with his head bowed, it wasn’t noticed.

“Thank you for coming today Myungsoo.” Eunsook uttered and Myungsoo flashed her a smile. It was a small smile but it was a genuine smile. “Oh please smile like that more Myungsoo.” She uttered and Myungsoo shrugged his shoulders.

“I’ll try.” He replied and then waved good bye.

Myungsoo returned home with a heavy heart and he went straight to the basement, sitting on the cold floor and hugging his knees as he stare at the pictures in front of him. The tears shed involuntarily as he muttered words to remind him that the girl frowning at him hated him.

Myungsoo rarely smiled as he joined Sungyeol for the new semester, and he just secluded himself from the world. He would remain silent and mysterious that it brought him an air of mystery that the girls around campus liked about him. But he paid no attention to them, heck he had isolated himself.

“Are you not over her?” Sungyeol asked and Myungsoo sighed.

“It’s hard but I am trying.” Myungsoo replied and that made Sungyeol sigh as well.

“I know that you are trying. If there is anything that I could do to help you, please let me know.” Sungyeol uttered and Myungsoo shook his head,

“Don’t worry too much, I’ll get there soon.” Myungsoo uttered and Sungyeol smiled at him.

“Please do.” Sungyeol uttered.

By Myungsoo’s birthday, he was surprised to see Eunsook, Jonghyun and Gyusook arrived at his home. Myungsoo’s mother welcomed them in, very happy to see that her son has more friends aside from Sungyeol.

“I hope you don’t mind us crashing your party.” Eunsook uttered and Myungsoo shook his head and smiled at her.

“I’m glad to see you noona, Jonghyun hyung.” He uttered.

“Hey, do you have a copy of the pictures you took on Eunsook noona’s birthday?” Jonghyun asked and Myungsoo nodded. “I want to surprise her mother with their family picture.” He added and Myungsoo understood.

He went to his room and returned with a memory card. “This contains all the pictures, you can have it.” Myungsoo said and Jonghyun nodded.

“Aren’t you keeping a copy for yourself?” Eunsook asked and Myungsoo shook his head.

“It’s your birthday noona, you keep it.” He said and Eunsook understood.

After their dinner, Jonghyun pulled him into a corner to talk and Jonghyun felt that Myungsoo was hurting. “I am sorry if we ruined your birthday.” He said but Myungsoo shook his head.

“I’m okay hyung, I am happy that you came.” He said, tears starting to form on the side of his eyes. “I’ll be okay hyung, don’t worry about me.” He said then excused himself.

He walked to his basement and let out the tears just as his guests left. He stared at the pictures again and cried. “At least you won’t judge me.” He sighed and then returned to his room, too tired to think.

Myungsoo sighed a lot lately, not knowing why his heart is not understanding what his brain had wanted to do. He wanted to forget and move one but seriously, his heart has a mind of his own. The more that he wanted to forget about Gyusook, the more his heart yearned for her. It was sad and depressing for Myungsoo but he kept the internal battle to himself, keeping a façade that he was okay and he was moving one.

But what could he do to forget? It wasn’t working for him until he found one resolve that kept him sane. He turned to self harm, something he detested but it did the trick. It happened as an accident; he cut himself while doing social work as his mandatory course in college. He had cut his finger on a broken glass and the blood flowed out of him like his tears. He felt numb seeing the red fluid and somehow, that calmed him down. When it gets too much and his emotions were choking him, the sight of the red fluid calmed him and the pain was more than enough to keep him from thinking about Gyusook. He knew it was insane and he shouldn’t do it, but at this point of his life, he was just too tired to think about it.

He was invited by Jonghyun again on Eunsook’s graduation, he had wanted Myungsoo to take pictures of this event because Jonghyun was about to propose to her. Jonghyun still has a year to go in college but with the blessings of both their parents, he wanted to propose and make Eunsook his fiancé. He did not intend to marry right away but at least, he can be assured that the girl he loves will remain his.

Myungsoo agreed, he couldn’t say no to Jonghyun and Eunsook because the two had been adorable and supportive in their own way. He knew that they were trying to help him out but that Myungsoo had turned it ddown knowing that it would be futile.

With his old camera at hand, black button down and some jeans, he had attended SNU’s graduation rights. He walked up to Jonghyun and grinned at him.  Jonghyun thanked him for coming and broke down the plan. Myungsoo nodded and reassured him that he’ll capture every moment of it. Jonghyun smiled through his nerves and they entered the venue to witness the graduation.

Myungsoo was feeling a mix of emotions while he sat next to Jonghyun. His heart was happy to be able to see her again but his mind was telling him to stop hoping. His internal turmoil was driving him crazy but his face did not show any signs of it. Eunsook and Gyusook finally entered the hall together with the other graduates and Myungsoo started snapping away. He knew he won’t get any other chance like this so he figured he’ll have to at least indulge in it somehow. 

The honours were called and Myungsoo was not surprised to hear Eunsook and Gyusook earn their Magna Cumlaude as they are very bright students. He made sure to capture the moment; happy faces of the twin sisters and their parents beaming with pride for their daughters. He smiled a little, such a wonderful portrait his picture would make. After the diplomas were handed, Myungsoo followed Jonghyun as he steered Eunsook out into a quiet area. Myungsoo took shots right away, partially hidden to make it less obvious.

Jonghyun was nervous but he pushed through, kneeling in front of Eunsook and asking her a question that was long overdue. She was in tears all of a sudden and Myungsoo captured eevery single moment, even the tears that fell down their faces as they kissed. Myungsoo was happy for them, such a lovely couple and they deserve to be together. He wished them well, their engagement is truly beautiful in all its simplicity and Myungsoo knew that it will be a happy ending in a couple of years.

He turned to leave, he had no business after that anyway, but was met by a frowning Gyusook. Myungsoo bowed at her then continued to walk away.

“Why are you here?” She asked and Myungsoo took a breath and responded to her.

“I was asked to take pictures. Jonghyun hyung wanted the moments during his proposal to be captured,” He replied plain and simple. “If you’ll excuse me, I have a bus to catch.” Myungsoo excused himself and then continued on his way.

But before he could walk a few steps, Eunsook called him and invited him for dinner. Myungsoo smiled at her and bowed before telling her that he must return home due to a due project he needed to do. He continued to walk away, not needing another stab in the heart as he witness the anger in Gyusook’s eyes.

“Gyusook?” Eunsook asked and the twin rolled her eyes.

“I only asked why he was here.” She replied in her defence.

“I know, I was just hoping you had at least invited him for dinner.”  She said before pulling her fiancé towards their car.

“Fine.” She uttered and then ran towards Myungsoo.

She called out the younger and Myungsoo bowed at her. She sighed before she invited him to dinner.

“Thank you but I do have that project to do.” Myungsoo uttered and turned to leave.

Gyusook’s patience was running low; she did not have time for child’s play because she just doesn’t want to be blamed for Myungsoo not attending dinner. She grabbed his sleeve and pulled on it, and her eyes went wide as she saw red lines marking his pale skin. Myungsoo was surprised as well that he yanked her hand off and then turned started to run. He wanted to get away from her but she was determined to get to the bottom of this. In her haste to grab him, she was able to get the strap of Myungsoo’s camera. The action surprised Myungsoo and the strap slipped from his shoulder; but since he was still running, Gyusook’s grip loosened on the strap and the camera slip to the floor in a loud crash.

Myungsoo’s eyes went wide as he saw the camera broke the glass shattering and the lens flying off of the body. He can’t help but let out tears as he stared at the shattered device on the pavement. He felt tears fall down his face as he knelt on the ground. Gyusook was speechless for a moment but when she was about to apologize, Myungsoo spoke with shaky words.

“What did I do wrong to deserve this?” He asked and Gyusook’s heart shattered. Myungsoo then stood and then ran away, leaving the only piece of him that gave him hope. Gyusook took the broken device and walked back to the car, handing the memory card to Jonghyun.

“where is he?” Eunsook asked and Gyusook told them that he ran away. “my poor dongsaeng.” She uttered as Jonghyun pulled her towards his chest to comfort her.

Myungsoo isolated himself after that, his depression took over him and he had taken a more drastic approach, even taking a knife to cut his wrist. He smiled grimly at the red flowing out of him and he closed his eyes, tired of all the pain he had in his heart. But unfortunately for him, his sister Gwiboon found him and she had rushed him to ER, and he awoke a few hours later, regretting that he was too scared to plunge the knife towards his heart.

“Why didn’t you tell us?” Gwiboon asked and Myungsoo sighed.

“I thought I could handle it.” Myungsoo uttered and then felt the tears fall from his eyes.

----

Myungsoo was surprised to meet Gyusook on his Graduation Day. He bowed at her then walked passed her.

“Myungsoo, can I talk to you?” She uttered and Myungsoo nodded.

They walked towards a bench where he asked Gyusook to sit. He sat next to her but kept his distance. Gyusook handed him a paper bag but Myungsoo declined.

“I want to forget about you. You already rejected me but I became obsessed about you. I know I was wrong to stalk you and I am very sorry about it. I wish you all the best.” Myungsoo said then bowed at her before leaving.

“Wait, I haven’t told you what I wanted to say.” Gyusook uttered but Myungsoo shook his head.

“Please don’t feel guilty about what happened to me, I imposed this on myself.” Myungsoo uttered and walked away.

Gyusook was confused of what she was feeling watching Myungsoo walk away from her. She could’ve ran after him but there was this nagging feeling inside her that say to just let him go.

--

The next meeting was nothing short of a drama because Myungsoo suited up as a photographer for Eunsook and Jonghyun’s wedding like he had promised. Gyusook saw Myungsoo walking towards the bridal suite and she was speechless at how handsome Myungsoo was in his all black attire. Myungsoo bowed at her before he entered the suite to take pictures of the bridal entourage prepare before the wedding ceremony. Eunsook smiled a him and handed him a camera. She told him that it was gift from her and Jonghyun, being grateful to fulfil his promose to take their wedding photos. Myungsoo refused but Eunsook insisted.

Myungsoo took pictures professionally, and he stirred away from Gyusook, avoiding her as much as he could. He was looking at the pictures when Gyusook approached him. He bowed to her then kept silent.

“How are you holding up?” Gyusook asked and Myungsoo fiddled with his camera.

“I’ve been good.” Myungsoo replied but never looking at Gyusook. “I need to take pictures of the groom. Excuse me.” Myungsoo then excused himself and left the room, leaving Gyusook sighing.

“Hey.” Eunsook called out her sister.

“I didn’t do anything.” Gyusoo defended herself and Eunsook gave him a sympathetic smile.

“I know.” She replied and pulled her sister towards the room to ask her to help her into her dress.

..

Jonghyun greeted Myungsoo with a wide smile as the photographer entered his suite. He gave his friend a hug and then a double over. “You’ve gone all handsome; I am worried you’ll steal my girl.” Jonghyun uttered and Myungsoo grinned at that.

“Thank you for the compliment but I am not stealing any girl anytime soon.” Myungsoo remarked and Jonghyun laughed heartily.

“I know. So, can I take a peek?” Jonghun asked and Myungsoo shook his head.

“It’s bad luck hyung.” Myungsoo uttered and Jonghyun sighed but nodded.

“I just have  to wait a few more hours then.” Jonghyun uttered and Myungsoo smiled at him.

“I assure you that Eunsook noona is the prettiest.” Myungsoo uttered and Jonghyun grinned.

“That’s a given. Even if she’s not the prettiest for you or any other guy, for me, she will always be pretty.” Jonghyun remarked. “Even if she gets pregnant, she’ll be the prettiest for me.” Jonghyun said and Myungsoo smiled at that.

…

The wedding was beautiful but it was always bittersweet for Myungsoo. He knew that he shouldn’t be jealous but deep down, his carnal instincts as a human was making him feel what he shouldn’t feel. He sat at his chair, far away from the chaos of the party in full swing and looked at the flower centrepiece in front of him. He wanted to leave already but he still needed to take a few more photographs of the party.

“Myungsoo.” Myungsoo looked at the girl who sat next to him and he immediately lowered his gaze. “I really wanted to talk to you.” She uttered and Myungsoo sighed then nodded.

Her voice was calm and gentle but Myungsoo felt a certain sting on his heart. He nodded one but never looked back at her.

“Do you hate me?” She asked and Myungsoo shook his head slowly. How could he hate her? “Please look at me.” She instructed and then Myungsoo sighed then raised his head. Gyusook was surprised to see that Myungsoo’s eyes were blank and his lips were tight as a straight line.

“I don’t hate you Gyusook-ssi.” Myungsoo replied with a straight face and a flat tone. His voice was like ice that she felt taken aback. “If you’ll excuse me, I have to take a few more pictures.” Myungsoo stood and then bowed before leaving the table.

---

Eunsook and Jonghyun bade goodbye to their guests as the party came to an end. Myungsoo handed over the camera to the couple before he bid goodbye but they both insisted to give it as a gift. He congratulated them one last time before slinging the camera on his shoulder, bowing and then leaving the wedding hall.  Eunsook eyed the few remaining guests and excused herself from her husband to walk to her twin sister.

“You look lost Gyusook.” Eunsook uttered as she sat next to her twin sister. “Anything bothering you?” Eunsook asked and gyusook sighed before nodding.

“Myungsoo’s eyes.” She said, sighing again as she remembered the eyes that once was full of warmth and the pure smile he had when he takes pictures. “they look dead.” She uttered and Eunsook sighed next to her.

“Yeah, I noticed that too.” Eunsook remarked.

“Do you think I made him like that?” Gyusook asked.

“Why would it matter to you Gyusook? You wanted him out of your life anyway.” Eunsook remarked and Gyusook glared at her. “I am just telling the truth Gyusook. Does your opinion of Myungsoo changed?” Eunsook asked and Gyusook looked at her sister before nodding.

Eunsook smiled at her fondly. “What made you change your perspective?” Eunsok asked and Gyusook sighed a bit more.

“His eyes.” Gyusook replied. “It was so clear and pure.” Gyusook replied.

“You know what, just avoid having regrets.” Eunsook uttered and hugged her sister before walking back towards Jonghyun.

“Will noona be okay?” He asked and Eunsook nodded.

“it’s all up t her.” She said and kissed her husband.

---

Myungsoo opened the door of his parents’ house after hearing the endless doorbell. He was surprised to see Gyusook dressed in her long gown, hair a bit tussled by the wind and her maeup a bit smudged from the long hours of the wedding celebration.

“Gyusook-ssi.” Myungsoo asked with a raised brow.

“I know that I hurt you way too much but can you please look past that and accept me?” Gyusook spoke hurriedly, hope keeping her on her toes and pumping her veins with pure adrenaline.’

“You already rejected me countless of times. If this is some sick joke then please spare me.” Myungsoo replied, too tired to play games with her; to broken to hope that it was true.

For once Gyusook wanted to spank herself for being thoughtless and close minded. She knew she had hurt the boy too much but now that she had sorted out her feelings, she knew that she liked him more than she though she would and it hurts that she was the cause of his pain.

Gyusook took his hand and held it tightly before showing him her phone. Myungsoo looked at the phone screen and his eyes widened as he stare at the same picture that was saved on his phone, the photo they took years ago when Gyusook was a maid for the maid café her class did for a school festival. Myungsoo felt the tears form in his eyes, this was too much to take; she rejected him after all and pushed him away.

He took out his phone and showed it to her, his hands wobbling as he showed her the matching screen saver and Gyusook noticed droplets falling on the screens. She looked up to see tears fall from his eyes and her heart clenched at the sight. She run her free hand on his cheeks, wiping the tears off of his face.

“Please smile for me Myungsoo. Let me see the light shine in your  eyes once more.” Gyusook uttered and Myungso nodded, smiling albeit the tears. “Then let me smile for you.” Gyusook uttered and leaned in to the place a chaste kiss on Myungsoo’s lips.

“Gyusook-ssi” Myungsoo uttered and Gyusook shook her head.

“noona.” She uttered with a smile and Myungsoo smiled wide and nodded.

“Gyusook noona.” He uttered and soon pulled her by the waist and kissed her again.

---

Eunsook and Jonghyun walked hand in hand through the wedding hall and smiled as they looked at the pictures of Gyusook. They were happy to see those pictures again, now open for everyone to look at and appreciate. They always knew that the two will eventually end up together and looking at the pictures just confirmed that they will end up happy too.

“It is my honor and pleasure to introduce to you for the first time, Mr. and Ms. Myungsoo and Gyusook Kim.” The MC announced and all eyes fell on the picture perfect couple that entered and settled at the center of the dance floor for their first dance.

“Who would knew that we’ll end up married in less than a year?” Myungsoo uttered as he leaned in to kiss his wife.

“we wasted too much time hurting each other, this is fair enough.” Gyusook replied, kissing him back.

“Oh my noona. I love you so much.” Myungsoo uttered and laughed heartily.

“I love you too Myungsoo.” She replied and flashed her smile, the smile only reserved for Myungsoo.

-----

a/n: that’s a long fic.. 8k words and a few months of writing , finally it is done!