When Taeyeon was eleven her mother called her away from her friends and brought her inside to talk. At the time the little girl didn’t understand what the woman meant when she said, “When you become a woman, the preparations for your life will begin.” She was told how when she turned seventeen she would meet her intended (another word that meant nothing to her,) once before getting married a little over a year later. She knew what marriage was for the thought of a princess falling in love with a prince was a frequent bedtime story told to her by her nurse as she grew up. Her mother kissed her cheek and told her to go play while she could. Taeyeon frowned before dashing off. Thoughts of her childhood ending far from her mind as she shouted for Minjung and Gwiboon to wait for her.

She bled for the first time a couple months after she turned twelve. She had gotten up from the blanket laid on the grass for their picnic to have Minjung ask her what the spot on her dress was. Gwiboon had frowned before taking off her apron and wrapping it around Taeyeon’s tiny waist, mumbling, “You’re a woman now.” Into her ear as she was led into her home. Both older girls knew what this meant. Running in the fields playing princess was over. Taeyeon would have to become the Lady she was born to be, and getting dirty in the mud by the river wasn’t a very lady like thing to do.

With tears in her eyes Taeyeon begged the girls to not tell and help her hide it, if not just for a few more days until it passed so she had a little more time with them. Gwiboon was willing to try, but as they attempted to convince Minjung of doing the same the two girls’ mother walked through the door carrying linens for the bed. Her eyes widened when she saw the blood stained rags and the spoiled dress skirt. Taeyeon knew there was no way in stopping Miss Choi from telling her mother. The little girl knew then that her childhood was over. Dreams of fairy tales and far away places shattered as she stared at the blood stained cloth sitting in the empty wooden bucket.

Her lessons started right after her first bleeding time was over. It started with sewing little stitches into ripped pants and washing dishes. She frowned up at Miss Choi as she stilled her arms in the big bucket of soapy water. “Why must I know how to do this if my mother never uses this skill?”

The woman just smiled and pushed the girl’s hair back after drying her hands. “Because Miss your future intended may wish to not have servants and you must know how to keep house.”

“Not have servants?” She asked bewildered. “That seems rather weird.”

“The family that I served before yours had to let me go because they fell on hard times. They couldn’t pay me what they promised. So I was given as sort of a gift to your Mother for her wedding day. I’ve been here for over 13 years now.”

Taeyeon stared at the bubbles before looking back up with her eyes wide, “So if my ‘intended’ whatever that means, decides there isn’t enough money for servants than I should know how to do this?”

“Precisely.”

“Makes sense.” Her nose scrunched up. “I guess.”

-----

At fifteen she had her first run in with a corset. Her mother figured that she had grown as much as she would and that it was time for her to get accustomed to them. Taeyeon thought they were the devil’s work just looking at it unstitched on the chair. Gwiboon was behind her tugging the strings and taking every little bit of air in her lungs out with each pull. “ it in Tae, or this will hurt more.”

“I am it in!” She huffed out before grimacing once more when the older girl pulled harder.

“There. It’s done.”

Gwiboon looked proud, but Taeyeon wanted to rip it off. “Why do we wear these? They are so uncomfortable.”

“They make us pretty enough for men.” Minjung chirped up from across the way. She looked up from her book, “They like our waists as thin as our necks.”

Taeyeon looked at Gwiboon horrified. “You aren’t going to like squeeze me down until then are you?”

“NO! This is how it will feel. All the time. No tighter.” She went over and whacked her slightly younger twin sister. “Stop frightening her! She doesn’t need you putting ideas in her head.”

Minjung just looked at her sister. “I haven’t even begun to tell her about all the stories I hear when I go into the market with Mama.”

Taeyeon stepped down from the fitting stand and bit her lip, “What kind of stories?”

“About women who meet their intended and he’s seemingly perfect, but then no one ever hears from her again. Or they meet him and he’s ugly and their wedding night is basically torture. There was this one that I heard where the girl got pregnant 18 times, but only ever had 3. Makes you wonder what happened.”

“OKAY that’s enough of that.” Gwiboon stated after seeing the color wash out of Taeyeon’s face. “I’m sure whoever your mother and father end up choosing for you is nothing like those men. I’m not even sure if those men even really exist.” She said as she glared at her sister.

She led the girl over to the huge mirror to fix her appearance. Her long curls were twists and turned until they sat on her shoulders and down her back just right. Gwiboon made sure her thin shoulders were seen before making sure the skirt on the dress was all laid right against her thin frame. She smiled at Taeyeon through the mirror as she gave her shoulders a reassuring squeeze, “Now come on. You have a lunch to get to. “

“I don’t want to go!” She claimed as she tried to prevent the older girl from pushing her out the door.

“Taeyeon it’s just a lunch to talk about what you want in a partner. It’d be better to tell them what you like than let them chose you something. You must live with his man they chose for a lifetime.” She knew Gwiboon was right, much like every time else, but the uneasiness in her gut didn’t go away as the big ornate doors of their sunroom appeared before her. “Just be honest with them.”

She found that was a lot easier said than done. She didn’t even know what she wanted. How could she tell her parents the answers to their questions when she didn’t even know the answers herself?

Tea was set up and it was odd to see both her mother and father in the same room together when there wasn’t a dinner or a party. She curtsied to her parents before offering her hand to her father. He pressed a soft kiss on her knuckles before smiling and leading her to her seat. When the question was finally asked as to what preferences she had in an intended she could only think of two things. Honest and understanding. Her parents deemed those good enough specifications and went on with eating the tasty pastries and tiny sandwiches the kitchen had prepared for them.

—–

Taeyeon liked the house library the most.  She could go around the shelves and get lost in the old stacks all in the back. They smelled like dust and old memories. She liked opening them and running her fingers over the well-worn pages and smile as she read the faint words. It was a way to escape the life designed for her, from her lessons, and from her mother. She loved her, but that didn’t mean she didn’t have a disdain for the way the woman corrected her at every turn. Stand up straight, don’t slouch in your seat, smile brighter, talk like this. It was never ending and annoying.

She also liked the library because her mother disdained it. She said that learning outside of household ideals and pleasing your husband was a male thing to do, and that she should focus more of her time on keeping up her appearance without the help of Gwiboon and Minjung. Taeyeon never really understood the idea of being pretty all the time. Shouldn’t there be other things more important for her to focus on than being attractive to her future husband? Wasn’t she pretty enough without her hair curled and pinned up in complicated ways? Without her lips painted pink or red and her nose not powdered? Those things seemed unnecessary. Even more so when she knew there was a book waiting for her to open and read all it’s secrets.

The book covering her lap was about a far away place called greece and how their art was still looked upon as beautiful. She was just wondering what it would be like to see the statues in person, running her thin fingers over the well-worn page when she heard her mother almost screeching her name. The voice quickly faded away, but then Gwiboon`s voice quickly filled the space as the woman appeared around the bookcase’s corner. “Miss you must get to your dancing lesson.”

Taeyeon frowned. “I told you I wanted to be called Taeyeon.”

Gwiboon looked at her hands before sighing. “Your mother heard me call you that Miss and had me whipped for my disrespect Miss.”

The girl’s eyes widened as the book was forgone so she could rush over to her friend. “What? How long ago?”

She just shook her head. “It’s no matter Miss. Let’s get you to the ballroom before you are late.”

Taeyeon frowned deeply when she saw the burning red disappearing down the back of the woman’s dress anytime her long dark hair moved across her shoulder blades.

—–

The morning that Taeyeon turned seventeen her stomach twisted in knots as the horrifying stories told to her by Minjung flashed through her mind. Any day now her parents would sit her down and tell her that they had found someone for her. She didn’t want to get married to some stranger and when she mentioned this to her mother all the woman did was smile. “He’s not a stranger if you meet him once before the wedding ceremony.”

She had wanted to strangle her with her corset ribbons.

The dreaded meeting was supposed to happen a week after that, but because of her time it was pushed back another week. The day after she ended she was being tied into her corset and the pale yellow of her dress smoothed down her frame. It was a simple dress, which she very much appreciated, and the skirt wasn’t huge. Her mother hated the gown, saying it wasn’t lady like enough. Taeyeon felt more at ease and beautiful in it than she ever did in the elaborate ballgowns her mother made her wear to formal events and galas.

Minjung curled her hair as Gwiboon did her best to make her makeup soft. Both knew their friend hated being overly done. Once deemed beautiful enough both girls smiled at her before the younger went to the vanity and lifted the orange diamond necklace from it’s box. It was gently clasped around her neck, and as Gwiboon straighten it over her collarbones there was a knock at the door announcing that her intended and his parents had finally arrived. Taeyeon felt like jumping on a horse and running away.

She didn’t however. For she knew that running away wasn’t an option. Instead she hoped that her wishes had been thought of when choosing her future husband and that he was sweet more than he was attractive.

Gwiboon and Minjung left her at the stairs leading down to the foyer. They both kissed her cheek and gave her shaking hand a squeeze before smiling reassuringly and sending her on her way. She took a deep breath before taking that final step that would make her visible to whoever was present below. Once her thoughts were settled as much as they could be she tried to focus on the years of lessons leading up to this point. She knew just how much her parents would be disappointed in her if her intended or his parents decided that she wasn’t enough for him.

Taeyeon wasn’t exactly sure what to expect when she took that final step and made her way down the couple more, but what she did see was a pleasant surprise. He was standing between his mother and father, holding out his hand to shake her own father’s hand before bowing and kissing her mother’s knuckles. His hair was black, like most, but longer than a lot of men she had seen going through her home between her lessons. It was pulled back, but strands had fallen onto his forehead and over his ears. His shirt was simple, just a plain white with a little ruffle at the neck. There was a golden sword at his hip and it had to be the most beautifully adorned blade she had ever seen. Even more than the ones she had seen in the many books she had read.

When her heels clacked against the marble of the floor all eyes landed on her. She failed to notice the breathtaking look present in his eyes for she was too busy trying not to fall on her face and embarrass herself before the meeting even occurred. Her father said in a proud voice, “And this is my beautiful daughter Taeyeon.”, but she was focused on the fact her intended was stepping closer as she landed on the main floor.

With her breath held in she kept her hand out enough for him to take. His fingers were warm as he bowed, but his lips were even warmer as they landed on her knuckles. She curtsied and waited until he spoke to rise. “You are very beautiful indeed Lady Taeyeon. I am Jinki.”

His voice made her heart thump as it rolled over her. She had never heard a voice like his before. Before she could disgrace herself or her family she remembered her manners. With a smile she said, “It’s a pleasure to make your acquaintance Lord Jinki.”