Baby it’s alright, I’ll call you mine~

Seungcheol’s phone buzzed from his bag beside him. He had secretly (not so when half of the members knew it but the owner of the voice didn’t know) used that as his notification tone. The leader took out his phone and noticed a message from someone. Seungcheol smiled mildly to read the sender and content.

From Dodo: Hey sebeutin appa!
How are you? I hope you’re not
busy right now.

Seungcheol typed a reply and sent it. His eyes were back at that guy but he quickly turned away when he almost got caught.

From Dodo: Nice to hear that.
I have listened to your new
song! If I have time, I will visit
you at the music show. Tell me
your schedule, dude.

Seungcheol smiled to the message. He’s happy to know his best friend tried to make some time to visit. Seungcheol typed a reply and didn’t notice someone crept up to his side. “Hey, who are you texting?” Seungcheol jumped a bit and turned. He groaned to see Jeonghan beside him with a stupid grin plastered on that angelic face.

“Ugh, when did you sit here? You scared me less.” Jeonghan guffawed and that attracted some of the members’ attention. The long haired male tried to look over for the phone. Seungcheol noticed that and just let Jeonghan peeked.

“Who’s that?”

“Doyoon. He said he listened to our new song and ask our schedule to see if he can come to the music show and meet us.” Jeonghan’s eyes lit up.

“Doyoon is going to visit?! Ah, I miss our mommy.” Seungcheol just chuckled and it died down a bit when his eyes fell on that certain guy who was roughhousing with the performance team leader, laughing together. Jeonghan noticed that and turned to the same direction. He exhaled. “Cheol.” Seungcheol blinked and hummed as a response. Jeonghan didn’t continue his word and Seungcheol turned to the long haired male.

“Waeyeo, Han ah?”

Jeonghan took a breath. “What happened to you and Jihoon, Cheol?” Seungcheol exhaled heavily and looked away, anywhere but Jeonghan and the mentioned pink haired guy, Jihoon. “Cheol, did you and him…broke up?”

Seungcheol bit his lips. “Let’s not talk about this, Jeonghan.” Seungcheol turned to Jeonghan when the latter tried to talk. “Please. I will tell you later.” Seungcheol was half-begging. Jeonghan swallowed his question when the leader’s eyes were obviously wet.

“O- okay…”

Seungcheol smiled mildly. “Thank you, Han ah.”

Jihoon sighed as he locked up his studio. He spent a good amount of time in his studio after their practice. The small guy looked at the time on his phone. Jihoon yawned as he realized it was very late actually. It’s 3 in the morning and he needed to wake up on 6 later for their scheduled fan signing. He walked quietly leaving the third floor where his studio located and went down the stairs one by one while stuffing his ear with earphones so it will be less scary to walk alone from the company to the dorm in a very late time right now.

Jihoon stepped out from the building and blew air out his mouth. The white smoke came out and Jihoon hid his hand into his pocket, searching some warmth. “It’s cold.” Jihoon complained and started to walk. The player was randomly playing songs in his phone. His breath caught up in his throat when a familiar tune rang in his ears.

Aesseo neoege geonnaetdeon mal good bye
Ijen honja namgedoen i bam without you
Nan ajikdo, i’m officially missing you

Neol gidarideon bamcheoreom
Gilgo eodupdeon uri sai gongbaek
Ige kkeuchi anigil barae
I wanna go back
Neoga wonhadeon geo
Da gochin jigeumeya
Neon eodiro ganneunji
Nan hollo nama lonely
Oneul ttara buneun baramdo
Cham sirin geot gateunde
Neon waeiri meoljjeonghae boineun geonji
Nunchido eomneun neojiman
Yejeoncheoreomman useojumyeon dwae

Ooo can’t nobody do it like you
Said every little thing you do
Hey baby say it
Stays on my mind
And i
I’m officially missing you

Naegen neo hanappunin geol
Neo ttaeme apahaneun geol
Neol ijeuryeogo noryeokhaebwado jal andwae
Neol miwohaneun geon
Too hard neomu eoryeowo
Nal mollajuneun neodo seoreowo
I’m officially missing you
I’m officially missing you
Officially missing you
Officially missing you

Yeah i’m officially missing you, too
Naega amu maldo haji motan iyu
Uri sai gongbaegeun neomu gilgo
Eotteon daneoboda neoga meaningful
On another round
Deo meoreojyeo gamyeo heulleoganeun
Eosaekhaetdeon oneul haruga
Naegen aswipgo eojero namaisseo
I bami jinado ajikdo yeogi isseo
Yeojeonhi nae meorissok neo ttaemune
Neul dwicheokgeorineun maeil bam nae maeumman deo jichyeoga
Garodeung bureun georil bichwo
Heundeulgeorineun sogeul byeongi wie biwo
Eo~ amuri sogeul biwodo
Nameun chueogeuro chwihae eojireopgo
Girl nan ajik gidael gosi pillyohae
So i noraero neoreul ssiseonae

Seupgwancheoreom geuriwohae
Nal bomyeo utneun ni sajineul
Nae du nune damgo misoreul jieumyeon
Dasi hal su isseulkka oh geunalcheoreom

Naegen neo hanappunin geol
Neo ttaeme apahaneun geol
Neol ijeuryeogo noryeokhaebwado jal andwae
Neol miwohaneun geon
Chueok sok neoegen motdoen irira
Nan hal suga eobseo
Ireoke neol geuriwohaneun nal
Algo inneunji

Naegen neo hanappunin geol
Neo ttaeme apahaneun geol
Neol ijeuryeogo noryeokhaebwado jal andwae
Neol miwohaneun geon
Too hard neomu eoryeowo
Nal mollajuneun neodo seoreowo
I’m officially missing you
Officially missing you

Can’t nobody do it like you
(aesseo neoege geonnaetdeon mal good bye)
Said every little thing you do
Hey baby say it
Stays on my mind
And i
I’m officially missing you

(Click here for translation and MV)

Jihoon stopped his step when he felt a hot liquid trailed down his cheeks. He reached up and touched it. He smiled bitterly when he noticed he was crying. Jihoon wiped it dried before started his walking again. But he stopped abruptly after few steps and broke down; he crouched down with his face buried into his knees. He cried painfully, the unstoppable sobs filled the chilly silence around him. His mind filled of everything; a piece bit of the memories he missed so much. Choi Seungcheol.

He didn’t know what goes wrong but he noticed they drifted apart during their second mini album preparation. None of them talked about it and things turned awkward between them. The ignorant and silence they stacked up at last took its toll on their relationship and without they knew, things turned very ugly. Without he could do anything, Seungcheol misunderstood him and he couldn’t control his emotion from all the stress he stacked inside him at the moment which led them breaking up. Jihoon didn’t know what to do to make things right and every bit of him broke so much seeing Seungcheol who got more closer with Jeonghan these days (since they started Boys Be promotion). He was stuck and he felt like there’s no point of turning back.

Jihoon took some time there, crying before recollecting himself again and returned to the dorm.

Seungcheol went through over his phone’s gallery. He didn’t delete the picture of him and his ex-boyfriend he saved in his phone. He didn’t have the heart to delete even after they broke up. Seungcheol still loves Jihoon so much inside him and it’s killing Seungcheol slowly inside. Seungcheol smiled a bit when seeing Jihoon’s smiles, cute poses and pouts, teasing him with a peck in the pictures he saved. Tracing over the memory, Seungcheol encountered the picture in their pre-debut days. He chuckled lightly to see the immature hair style they had. Mostly the pictures were in the green practice room where they recorded 17TV.

The leader smiled softly seeing his favourite hair style of Jihoon back then. The brownish blonde bangs covered one of the eyes, Jihoon looked gorgeous. He remembered of drooling over the younger once Jihoon pulled off that style. Seungcheol let his finger traced over the face of his. His eyes filled with tears. “I miss you…”

Seungcheol swiped to the next picture and his heart stopped. A candid picture Mingyu took when he secretly kissed Jihoon while the younger was sleeping and lending him the shoulder to sleep as well. He couldn’t stop his tears from falling as he stared at the picture. How he missed the other, his smile, his voice, his lips and his warmth. Seungcheol pulled up his knees, hugging in while burying his face into his knees. Little sobs heard and he was lucky that he stayed back in the practice room alone (the rest already went back to the dorm after finishing the practice today).The sobs continued until he was tired of crying and calmed down a bit. The leader looked up and placed his chin on his knees. As much as he hurts right now, he continued to look through Jihoon’s picture because he missed their memories so much. Seungcheol stopped at certain picture again. Both of them were laughing at the camera. Seungcheol remembered it was during Jihoon’s birthday last year. “What happens to us, Ji?” He exhaled, staring at the picture of him. A flash of memory came into his mind.

“Jihoonie.” Jihoon hummed lightly. Seungcheol pouted. “Look at me.”

“Wae, Cheol? I’m busy right now.” Jihoon said as he scribbled some words on his paper. Seungcheol pursed his lips more, placing his chin on his palm looking at his boyfriend from the side. “Stop staring, you’re making me uncomfortable.” Jihoon said without looking. Seungcheol took a breath.

“I’m sorry. I just miss you.” Jihoon stopped writing and turned to Seungcheol.

“I miss you too, but sorry, Cheol ah. I’m busy finishing this song. You know we’re rushing up to get our second mini album done, right?” Seungcheol smiled mildly.

“Yeah. I know.” Seungcheol straightened his back and got up. “Well, I should let you alone so you can finish your work.” Jihoon flashed an apologetic smile. Seungcheol bent down to give a peck on the forehead before ruffling Jihoon’s hair lovingly. “Don’t work too hard. Meet you at the dorm, okay?” Jihoon nodded while his eyes fell on the paper again. Seungcheol smiled bitterly without Jihoon noticing. “Take care, bye, love.”

Jihoon just hummed as an answer and Seungcheol closed the door with a heavy heart. The elder tried to smile but his heart bled. Seungcheol took few moments in front of the closed door before walking away.

“If I’m more understanding…I was wrong. I’m stupid. Jihoon ah…I miss you.” Seungcheol whispered softly as he brought the phone closer, pressing it to his chest as if he was holding Jihoon in his arms. A trail of tears went down the already-wet cheeks again.

Jihoon stared lifelessly at his phone. He kept repeating that song all over again. His lips sang along mutely. His eyes were wet but he tried not to cry again. Too many tears rolled down his cheeks already to the thought of his and he always failed to stop himself from crying. True to that, a warm liquid trickled down his cheeks again. The same song replayed few times, he just wanted to listen to that song again and again right now.

Just now, Jihoon tried to work on his newest masterpiece but he couldn’t finish it at all. He was stuck and he needed some space. So he tried to take a rest by listening to the song. As he continued his playlist, he just found out he stopped at that song. Perhaps he decided wrong, the song just brought his mood down to the bottom. He knew he couldn’t finish his work today, not with his messy head currently. Jihoon sighed as he wiped his tears.

“I’m officially missing you…” Jihoon smiled bitterly as his voice trailed off together with the song from his phone. A flash of his smiles made Jihoon’s tears fell freely again.

Seungcheol looked longingly over the pink haired guy who walked side by side with the blondie Soonyoung. Seungcheol noticed after they drifted apart and broke up, that guy stuck 24/7 to Soonyoung like back in pre-debut days; if that guy didn’t stick around him then it will be Soonyoung. “Cheol.” The soft call made Seungcheol woke up from his gloomy daydream. He smiled a bit when he saw Jeonghan walked beside him. He already told Jeonghan everything few days ago; at last he told someone what had happened to him and Jihoon. Seungcheol gulped a lump, mentioning that name already set his heart ripped apart and the old wounds bleed. Jeonghan noticed the leader’s face turned darker. “Seungcheol ah, are you okay?” Seungcheol startled when Jeonghan touched his shoulder. Seungcheol let out a crooked smile.

“I- I’m fine.” Jeonghan exhaled as he rubbed Seungcheol’s shoulder. He knew how hard Seungcheol tried to mask his real feeling. He was proud of that leader, his respect on him increased. Seungcheol never really show his real feeling when he’s in troubled. None of them would notice if Seungcheol was troubled but this time, all of them noticed the distance between the pair and they knew something happened to their leader and the producer but none of them was brave enough to ask. They knew Seungcheol won’t share his problem like usual while Jihoon, everyone knows that small guy didn’t like someone to interfere his business. It had no solution and they couldn’t do anything when obviously Jihoon avoided talking much to Seungcheol and vice versa.

“Cheol.” Seungcheol turned to Jeonghan. They’re reaching the company; they’re having practice today for tomorrow’s live performance. Jeonghan formed a little smile. “I hope you could talk this out with Jihoon again. You two are perfect together, Cheol.” Seungcheol stared at Jeonghan.

“Do you think so?” Jeonghan smiled.

“Yeah, none other than him can make you happy, Seungcheol. Believe me.” Jeonghan patted Seungcheol’s back. “Stop your stupid plan on making him jealous by sticking around me, I know you’re paying him back because he’s closed to Soonyoung lately but Cheol, this is so wrong. You know how Jihoon is; I think by doing this won’t give any good. It just drifted you guys apart more.” Seungcheol looked down. Jeonghan wrapped him into an encouraging hug. “Just talk it out and win him over again. I know you and him will make it worth again.” Jeonghan patted Seungcheol’s back softly. The leader let his tears fall down and sobbed a bit. They stayed like that for a while and without them noticing, Jihoon saw them from far. The small guy turned his heel to 180 degree directions and started to run away. He was broken again to see them together and his tears fell freely. He didn’t know where he took off to but he didn’t stop running until his leg gave up and again, Lee Jihoon broke down on the road bawling his heart out.

“Hoonie.” Jihoon looked up and saw Soonyoung. The blonde just smiled and passed the food for the smaller. Jihoon took it and thanked him. They’re currently in the waiting room for Show Champion, few hours before their performance. Currently, they’re fed with some food as their lunch. Jihoon half-heartedly opened the lid. Soonyoung passed the chopsticks and drinks.

“Thanks, Soonyoung.” Soonyoung just smiled warmly.

“Stop thinking and eat, dude.” Jihoon smiled mildly. Soonyoung sat beside him with his food also. The blonde started to prepare digging on his food. Jihoon just smiled softly and turned to his own food. He took a breath and tried to eat. Jihoon couldn’t eat properly these days and Soonyoung noticed. The blonde always nagged and forced him to eat, which Jihoon was a little bit glad for the other because he didn’t even realize he didn’t eat much to the point that he once starved himself the whole day. Luckily Soonyoung noticed and forced him to eat dinner before he passed out.

While Soonyoung and Jihoon started to eat, the members who were playing basketball with their seniors returned. Jihoon felt smaller when he heard that voice came closer. He missed that voice but he wanted to hide and avoid listening to it. Because it was too much for him to handle. He missed that voice but he hated it now that the voice laughed with someone else, calling others’ names but not his. But it was something he couldn’t stop, because that voice is not his alone anymore. They broke up already. But still, Jihoon missed him. He missed Seungcheol like hell. He missed when Seungcheol always called his name without a reason, playfully laughing after teasing him. Jihoon missed that so much.

Jihoon took a glance and saw Seungcheol was laughing with Jeonghan and Mingyu. He looked down when he noticed Seungcheol and Jeonghan’s current position. Seungcheol was sitting on Jeonghan’s lap while whispering to Mingyu. They laughed afterward and Jihoon couldn’t take anymore. He became a little bit sensitive these days (perhaps the tiring days of schedule took its toll on his mood). Jihoon stopped eating and put aside his chopsticks. Soonyoung turned when he noticed. Jihoon avoided the blonde’s eyes. “I’m full. I’m going to the toilet.” Jihoon got up and left quickly. Soonyoung’s eyes followed the pink haired guy until he disappeared behind the corner. Soonyoung frowned and sighed when he noticed Jihoon barely touched his food again.

Jihoon stiffened when he was in the one of the cubicles in the gent. He locked it and sat on the lid. He quickly wiped the fresh tears flowing down his cheeks. Jihoon bit his lips. “Why I keep crying when I think about you? You dumped me…and it hurts.” Jihoon sniffled and tried to quiet down his sobbing.

“What’s wrong with us?” Jihoon mumbled. “We drifted apart. You misunderstand and I-” Jihoon choked his own tears. “I know I’m in fault too. But I don’t know…I don’t know what to do.” Jihoon gripped his forearms as he hugged his knees, buried his face. “I miss you, Cheol ah. It hurts when you seem happy…I’m afraid, you already move on Cheol, and I’m hurting.” Jihoon sobbed hard but muffled into his own skins. He spent some time inside before Soonyoung came and knocked the door calling him out. Jihoon knew Soonyoung noticed his red eyes and nose when he came out but Soonyoung was always the best friend of his. The blonde knew he needed a space and no question came from the blonde. Jihoon was always glad to have a sporting, awesome friend like Soonyoung who knew what he needed without him saying anything. But Jihoon couldn’t smile, not when his heart bled so much because of Choi Seungcheol, his always and forever love.

Seungcheol braced himself and knocked the door. After giving some thought for few days, he decided to follow Jeonghan’s advice. He couldn’t live properly without Jihoon, even breathing felt tiring. He needed Jihoon back and he really regretted to be the first saying about the breakups. He knew exactly Jihoon was stressed with his own responsibility for the group as the producer and yet he didn’t know why he couldn’t tolerate that at the moment. A soft muffle ‘come in’ caught Seungcheol back to the reality and the leader bit his lips before slowly opening the door.

He was hesitated to come in. When he looked inside, Jihoon wasn’t looking back. The small pink haired guy was so focused on the lyric sheet in his hand. “I said I want to be alone for an hour, Soon-” Jihoon’s word stopped abruptly when he saw Seungcheol at the door. It might sound epic but the smaller really stunned and stoned there, purely shocked to see his ex-boyfriend coming to his studio and standing there with an unreadable expression. Seungcheol stood there, didn’t know what to say and he turned speechless once their eyes met. It was few moments of staring before Jihoon looked away and cleared his throat. “Sorry, is there anything I can help you?” Jihoon stumbled upon his words but he didn’t care. He didn’t look at the elder and kept his tone at pro. Seungcheol swallowed his spit, feeling bitter.

“I…”

“If it’s not important, can you come later?” Jihoon tried to look busy with his papers. Seungcheol took a breath.

“I want to talk with you.” Seungcheol finally gathered his strength to talk. Jihoon didn’t look up but exhaled before answering.

“About?” This time Seungcheol moved and closed the door. Jihoon set his eyes on the paper, ignoring the fact that they’re confined in the same room, alone. Seungcheol stood few steps behind Jihoon who was sitting.

“Us.” Seungcheol took a breath. “I- I know I was wrong and I’m sorry, really sorry, Jihoon ah. I don’t know what happen to me that day but I regret those, Ji. I made a mistake and I…I hope you can forgive me.” Seungcheol exhaled to his last word. Jihoon closed his eyes for a little while. His wounded heart seemed jumping a bit to hear his ex calling his favourite pet name. Ji. How it’s nice to hear it again, that voice rang melodically and that lips rolled that name, his heart could burst. It never failed to make him feel flutters. Jihoon bit his lips. But he hates it, even the slightest thing Seungcheol did, his heart reacted too much. Because of this, he realized he could never move on.

“I don’t know Seungcheol hyung. I don’t know if the forgiveness is there for me to give.” Jihoon said calmly even when his eyes started to water but Seungcheol didn’t see it of course. Seungcheol balled his fists.

“I was wrong and I’m the one who should ask forgiveness, Ji. And I’m here to ask for it…because I regret those. I- Ji, you- I mean, I- I I still need you, Jihoon. I can’t live without you. It’s hard to even breathing knowing you’re not by my side. I can’t stand see you far away from me; I hate it when you’re spending too much time with Soonyoung lately. I hate it and I know it’s because- because I still love you, Lee Jihoon and I regret bringing up the breakup. I want to make things right because I messed up. I want to find what we have lost, Ji. I need you. I love you so much that it’s hurt. Lee Jihoon, I love you.” Seungcheol broke down at the last few lines. Jihoon turned when he heard sniffles. He startled when he saw Seungcheol was already on his both knees, tears trickled down his cheeks.

“Seungcheol…”

“I’m sorry, Jihoon. I’m so sorry. I was wrong. I know I’m stupid. I- I can’t bear this anymore. I miss you. I miss you too much, I want you. I need you to stop me from breaking, I need you to help me breathe properly again. I love you, Ji.” Seungcheol said in between his sobs. He didn’t care what he looked like right now (probably like ), he never cried this hard in front of someone but Lee Jihoon is an optional. He rather died if he couldn’t make things right, he didn’t care how shameless, miserable and ugly he is right now. All he knew, he wanted Jihoon to take him back and that’s only matters for him.

“But…you-” Their eyes met. Pains tugged at the pink haired guy’s heart but he wanted to let his feelings out. “I thought you move on, Seungcheol.” Seungcheol frowned.

“Why-” Seungcheol stopped at his own question. “No, I never see anyone else other than you. Jeonghan…I feel pain to see you and Soonyoung and I- I was kind of using him to get you feel what I feel when I see you with Soonyoung…” Seungcheol’s voice trailed off and a bitter laugh came out before Seungcheol continued his explanation. “True to Jeonghan’s words, you thought it differently.”

“Seungcheol.” Seungcheol looked up. Jihoon got up from his seat and went lower on Seungcheol’s level. “You know Soonyoung and I-”

“I know I just can’t stop feeling jealous because you’re not with me and I- we broke up. I-”

“I don’t know what goes wrong between us, Cheol.” Seungcheol looked up. His eyes lit up a bit when Jihoon called him that. Jihoon reached for the elder’s wet cheeks and wiped the tears away. Seungcheol leaned to the touch. “I…I’m indeed to want to make it right. I miss you. I miss you like hell, Cheol.”

“Jihoon.”

“I love you, always love and forever will. I love you so much, Choi Seungcheol.” A tear fell from Jihoon and Seungcheol’s eyes. Seungcheol bit his lips before pulled Jihoon closer, meeting the lips. They kissed, a slow and sad one. Melded with the fresh running tears from both, the kiss prolonged like no tomorrow. They didn’t want to be separated, enough of what they went through for more than a month already. But the eternity they wished for remained a fantasy when the reality seeped in, the air needed for breathing. Seungcheol pulled away slightly, letting a moment of taking breath. He didn’t let Jihoon go farther from him, their eyes met and lost in each other. Without any word, another kiss shared and it was a bit shorter. “I’m sorry, Cheol. I follow my temper and…it’s my fault too.”

“I’m sorry too.” Jihoon smiled softly and pecked the elder on the lips.

“Would you mind to take me back as your boyfriend?” Seungcheol moved to kiss the smaller’s forehead.

“Never, because I want you and only you. There won’t be another time you ask that. I won’t let you go anyway anymore, Ji. You’re bound to me for the whole life if you accept me as your boyfriend again right now.” Jihoon stared at Seungcheol.

“I won’t ever refuse that offer and you’re mine forever too, Cheol.” They shared another kiss, a passionate one. Jihoon was taking his breath after that kiss. Seungcheol formed a smile.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Seungcheol pulled Jihoon for a hug. Both of them already were in sitting position on the floor. Jihoon hugged the elder back. “Let’s make this right and find what goes wrong.” Jihoon nodded.

“I don’t want to lose you anymore. Let’s build up the time we have lost.” Seungcheol nodded. Jihoon pulled away, just to catch Seungcheol’s eyes. They’re staring at each other for a while before Seungcheol closed the gap, sharing another salty loving kisses. The finger intertwined and both of them swore in their heart, they won’t ever let it go because they will find what they had lost. Lee Jihoon is for Choi Seungcheol and Choi Seungcheol is for Lee Jihoon.