Questions of “what if”, “how”, and “why” are always on my mind. Most of the time it’s when I’m with you. I wonder why that is? Maybe it’s because of the strange way you are.

 

Strange… I don’t think anyone other than myself would use that word to describe you. You’re happy-go-lucky, you’re friendly, and you smile a lot. That’s not what most people would call strange right? Everyone praises you for it. Everyone loves you for it. But not everyone knows how much you’re hiding beneath it all.

 

And it’s strange because when I look at you, I can see all the little cracks threatening to shatter your exterior. Yet, you try so hard to hide it and in the end, it’s only breaking you further.

 

It’s strange how you changed so much. That smile was once genuine, now it’s only a shadow of what it used to be.  

 

How much are you hurting?

 

How much more can you take?

 

//

 

It’s the middle of autumn and Joohyun gazes up at a nearby tree, noting how the colors of the leaves have started to change. A small wind blows by and she shivers slightly, her grip tightening just a bit on the swing chains. Today was a bit chillier than usual. She sniffs a bit, eyebrows creasing in worry that she’s starting to catch a cold. She always did have a pretty weak immune system. Almost half an hour has passed. If only she had known her mom would be this late picking her up after school. 

 

Joohyun sighs as she looks down at her feet swinging back and forth. Why was her mom so late? Her habit of daydreaming starts to kick in only to be interrupted by the sudden ruffling in a nearby bush to her right. She plants her feet on the ground, halting the swing from its slight back and forth motion, and stares warily. Her body stiffens, cold and rigid as her mind is filled with frightful thoughts.

 

What is that? Is it some kind of monster? A ghost? Do ghost come out during the daytime?

 

Her imagination ran wild, easily throwing scaredy-cat Joohuyn into a panic. Joohyun nearly lunges from the swing to make a run for it when suddenly, a girl comes crawling out of the bush. The scene has her stupefied in place.

 

“Ugh,” the girl grunts as she finally stands, brushing the dirt off her shorts and sweater. Joohyun sighs from relief. A quick prayer runs through her mind thanking God it wasn’t some sort of monster as she plants herself back on the swing and stares at the other girl.  

 

Who is she?

 

From what Joohyun could tell, this girl was a smidge taller than herself. She seemed a bit lanky but perhaps that was due to the slightly large sweater that hung unevenly on her shoulders. Her socks were uneven as well. One was pulled all the way right beneath the knee, while the other was scrunched around her ankle. The girl had some big hair too. Did she even brush it? It was a big frizzy brown mess with small leaves poking out. She reminded Joohyun of those grizzly bears that she—

 

“Oh, there’s someone here. Hi!”

 

And Joohyun immediately snaps out of her observations as she realizes this stranger has taken notice of her. Sweater girl doesn’t give Joohyun any time to respond as she makes her way towards the swings. Joohyun could feel her shoulders sink, trying to appear as small as possible in hopes that the girl would ignore her presence. Unfortunately, that was just wishful thinking.

 

“So why are you still here?” the girl smiles inquisitively.

 

“E-Excuse me?” Joohyun squeaks, her voice barely audible. She’s always had a problem speaking with strangers. In fact, she barely even spoke to half of her classmates. Joohyun was renowned for being quite shy among the other kids. But this girl was so straight-forward and clear when she spoke, there was no wavering or nervousness in her voice and this only made Joohyun more anxious than usual.  

 

“Why are you still here?” she repeats. “Doesn’t your mom usually pick you up right after school? It’s almost been an hour.”   

 

“How do you know that my mom is supposed to pick me up?” Jooyhun stiffens a bit. What if this girl was one of those bad people her mom told her not to talk to? She hadn’t considered it, it was hard to imagine since they were both grade schoolers—at least, Joohyun assumed the other girl was near the same grade as her. But it was possible, kids were sometimes used as lures for kidnappers. Worry started to crawl upon her.

 

Sensing this, the other girl laughed, “Relax, everyone’s mom or dad seems to pick them up after school here so I thought it was the same for you. I’m not some stalker or anything weird,” she smiles reassuringly and extends her hand, “I’m new at this school. I’m Kang Seulgi. You?”

 

A new girl?

 

Joohyun stared at the hand before her. Was she telling the truth? Seulgi smiled, her eyes disappearing into slight crescents as she wiggles her hand a bit, encouraging Joohyun to take it. Joohyun did seem to recall seeing an unfamiliar face around the playground during recess the past few days. Perhaps that was Seulgi?

 

Cautiously, Joohyun releases her grip on the swing chain, looking back and forth between Seulgi’s face and her hand, deciding whether or not she should really trust her. Then, unexpectedly Seulgi grabs her hand, finally forming a handshake between the two. The sudden gesture made Joohyun jump a bit in her seat, a small gasp escaping her lips.

 

She never liked being surprised. This girl was starting to worry her. She was too bold, too expressive, and too much of Joohyun’s opposite.

 

“So what’s your name?” Seulgi asks, cocking her head to the side and Joohyun can see Seulgi’s left ear sticking out a bit from her hair.

 

Joohyun takes a deep breath to calm her nerves.   

 

“B-Bae Jooyhun” she manages to stutter, prying her hand away from Seulgi’s surprisingly strong grip. Why was she always stuttering?

 

“Bae Jooyhun,” Seulgi repeats. “That’s a pretty name. It suits a pretty girl like you.”

 

Within seconds, Joohyun’s face flares a bright red. She lowers her head, using her hair as a veil to conceal her burning cheeks. Why was this girl so forward about everything? She can’t tell if she likes it when Seulgi complimented her or if she hates it because the girl has been catching her off guard since this conversation started. But she supposes that she should at least be appreciative. Joohyun was taught to always be courteous.

 

“T-Thanks,” she manages to mutter softly as the heat died down from her face.  

 

“So is your mom late?”

 

Joohyun finally gets a good look at Seulgi’s face when she lifts her head. Seulgi’s eyes were a bit sharp but with the way she was always smiling, Joohyun didn’t find them too intimidating. Her cheeks were a bit chubby, too. But Joohyun stops looking when she realizes Seulgi’s gazing back, waiting for a reply.

 

“Y-Yeah,” Joohyun replies.

 

“That ,” Seulgi sighs as stares up at the sky. For a moment, she’s quiet with a contemplative look on her face. Her bottom lip pouts a bit and little wrinkles can be seen on her chin. She releases another sigh before turning back to Joohyun with a smile that was starting to become her signature. “Well, I’ll just stay here with you until your mom comes.”

 

Then it dawns on Joohyun.

 

“Wait, what about you? Where’s your mom?” Joohyun asks, wondering why Seulgi herself hasn’t been picked up and why she was wandering around in the bushes.

 

“Oh, I don’t get picked up. I just walk home.”

 

Seulgi really was her opposite. To be able to walk home by herself at this age, Joohyun thought that was pretty brave. She herself wouldn’t be able to do that.

 

“Oh, then why are you still here?” Before Joohyun realizes it, she’s asking another question. This time she doesn’t stutter but the words roll out slowly.

 

Seulgi ruffles through her sweater pocket and reveals a small pen. Judging by the teeth marks on the cap and the worn out lettering along the side, the pen had been thoroughly used.

 

“My pen fell out of my pocket during recess so I came here looking for it ever since school ended,” Seulgi answers as she twirls the pen between her fingers. “See! Good thing I was able to find it!”

 

Seulgi proceeds to wave her pen around happily for a moment, showing it off some more before tucking it away and causing Joohyun confusion. How could she look so happy over a pen? It didn’t seem like anything special. In fact, Seulgi should’ve just bought a new pen instead of wasting her time searching for that old beaten one. But she didn’t bother telling Seulgi. Joohyun was starting to come to the conclusion that the girl was strange and there was probably no point in asking why she spent her time after school to look for a pen.

 

She already found her pen. Why doesn’t she just go home now?

 

They sit quietly for a minute. Seulgi just rocks back and forth in her swing while Joohyun sits there questioning numerous things about the other girl. How old was she? What class is she in? When did she move here?

 

Another breeze passes by causing Joohyun to involuntarily shiver, though she didn’t pay it much mind as she was still so deep in thought but Seulgi happened to take notice. The rapid whir of a zipper coming undone breaks Joohyun away from her thoughts and soon she felt warmth as Seulgi wrapped her sweater around her shoulders. She pulled the hood up over Joohyun’s head, ruffling her hair a bit, smiling at the latter’s bewildered expression. Joohyun moves her lips to speak but can’t seem to utter anything coherent until finally something discernible comes out, albeit it’s not much.  

 

“U-Uh… Wh—S-Seul—“

 

“You’re cold right? You can wear my sweater,” Seulgi nods, encouraging Joohyun to take her offer. “Oh, but sorry it’s a little dirty from earlier. Don’t worry though, the inside is clean.”

 

Why did you do that?

 

With that, the taller girl goes back to minding her own business. She pushes off the ground, gaining momentum and soon Seulgi’s swinging just a bit off the ground and is quickly rising. A few leaves escape her hair as it flows in the wind.

 

Joohyun clutches the sweater, wrapping it tighter around herself, silently accepting it.  And yet again she’s baffled by Seulgi. She wants to ask why Seulgi can so easily lend her sweater to someone she’s just met. She wants to ask how she can speak so freely. She wants to ask how she’s so seemingly brave and bold.

 

She wants to ask how they’re so different.

 

Minutes tick by as both girls just continue on in silence until the blaring of a familiar horn interrupts and Joohyun jumps but a smile quickly captures her lips as she spots her mom parked near the sidewalk, window down and waving at her.

 

Finally!

 

She hops of the swing and picks her bag off the ground. As she runs towards the van, she stops, the image of big frizzy brown hair pops up in head reminding her of Seulgi but when she turns around the girl is gone. All that was left was an empty swing gently swaying.

 

Kang Seulgi.  

 

They didn’t exchange goodbyes but little did Jooyhun know that Seulgi would greet her many more times in the future.

------

 

a/n: hi guys, I just wanted to write some seulrene. This will probably turn out to be just a few chapters long. I had an idea in my head and I just ended up writing lol. To those who end up reading this, whether you like it or not, thanks for giving it a shot. I’ll try to update soon.