Like always…I stare from a distance.

I’ve become more shameless…

You are so fine…I wish I could get to know you better

I don’t know, if someone was to ask why I like you…

I wouldn’t have an answer to that…

I’m charmed by you…

 

When you talk and smile to that other girl,

When you want to talk to people other than me…

When you don’t acknowledge my presence…

For a brief moment, I wish I didn’t exist right in that moment…

 

I’ve been disregarded before…

But I like you so much…it’s just painful

 

I stare from a distance…

And I want to be more shameless…

But if I were to be rejected by you…

I’d rather not exist at all

 

I don’t know you…

Not by what name you go by…

Not where you come from…

What you study…

What age you are…

I don’t know you…

But it would be nice to just have you acknowledge me for once…

 

What do you look for in people you’re interested in…?

What makes you want to talk to her above everything else…?

What does she have I don’t?

Am I really at that much of disadvantage?

Will you ever want to talk to me?

Will I ever have the courage to risk myself and talk to you?

 

I don’t think you like me…

That’s a fact, indeed…

But I would like to have the chance for you to at least weave at the sight of me…

 

I want you to feel the same way I do when I catch even the slightest glimpse of you…

I want you to skip a beat…

To sigh, to smile when you look at me from the corner of your eye…

I want you to feel the same I do

 

Perhaps you are a luxury I can’t afford…

And I have to live without having you…

It’s is selfish and irrational, this obsession I have for you…

But, do you even need a reason to like someone?

I sure have never really had a choice…

 

Could be because I feel lonelier than ever…

Because I need a shoulder to lean on…

Because I finally know the feeling having someone listening to you…

 

I’m having it all…

I’m greedy…but just about you…

Otherwise I would be just fine…

I wouldn’t be an immature brat…

 

 

Perhaps you are not the person I paint in my mind…

Perhaps you have someone else in mind…

Perhaps you are someone else’s…

Perhaps you are grossed by me…

 

Perhaps you’re not the right one…

To see beyond what my body shows…

Perhaps you are that empty and superficial…

 

But even those palpable possibilities…

My hearts shrugs them off…

Because it thinks you’re perfect…

Because you’re its fuel to get up every Monday morning…

 

Because you can break it in one millisecond

And soothe it right away…

 

I saw you this last time…

And like my first love did in my dreams…

You walked in front of me…

And your back faced me…

And I could tell it was you…out of a thousand people…

 

I followed you…

But did not catch up to you…

It was just you and me in that hallway…

My steps, hesitant and slow…

I couldn’t make myself get closer to you…

 

I thought…if I catch up and end up getting ahead of him…

Will he look up at me?

And if he doesn’t…

I would have missed the chance to at least see him for that moment…

 

You went straight ahead…

Without looking back…not even once…

I had to take another route…

Even for that…

I stopped and hesitated…

 

Staring at you from a distance that grew larger every step I took…

I sighed, and my hear skipped a beat…

 

The perfect weather…

The perfect back scene…

All of you was perfect…

But you never looked up…

 

It had been in dreams in the past…

In which my first love walked pass me…

In the opposite direction…not acknowledging me…

But with you, this was real…

 

On a nice Monday early afternoon…

Chilly wind…and a warm, bright sun…

My body lost its warmth while looking at you…

And sweated like crazy when you finally disappeared through the doors of the building

 

I must be more stupid than before…

May be because I believe love is more than a possibility for me…

Waiting for love, to me, it’s like waiting for Christmas gifts…

 

If no one likes me…

What does that say about me…?

If no one has ever hugged me…

Cared about me…

 

What does that say about me…?

I just wonder…

And I wish you weren’t the case…

But you are…

And that makes the pain sting more…

 

Good or bad…

At least everyone I know has been liked by someone…

Approached by someone…

At least there was the smallest thought they cared about them…

 

No one has ever done that for me…

No one has ever wanted to know about me…

 

I’m a good girl…

And it really is bad, that you are not the good boy for me…

And that is fine…

The only thing is…

How do I do so it doesn’t hurt so much to stare at you from a distance?

Which I’m condemned to do…for the rest of my stay…

 

But don’t go anywhere…

Even if I can’t have you…

You just stay there…

Where I can look at you…

Don’t go…it’s not your fault…

 

And I won’t act on my feelings…

I’ll protect you if you don’t like me…

Don’t worry, just don’t go and be where I can see you

That is good enough for me…

 

 

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There it is, if you have any questions/comments/thoughts, please do leave them below, thanks for reading this!