I hope you're good tonight
And I know you don't feel right when I'm leaving
Tell me something sweet to get me by.

— If It Means A Lot To You, A Day To Remember

The speakers blast a song Jisoo does not know the lyrics of, he stumbles across people he can't recognize and sits between two couples making out in the kitchen counter.

To say Hong Jisoo is disgusted is an understatement.

Although the whole party scene isn't something new for him (his best friend's something, Kwon Soonyoung, always succeeds in getting him dressed up on Saturdays like these— when he could be in his bed watching a stupid drama on t.v.) Jisoo can't help but feel surprised every time he goes to a new party.

He can understand why people use alcohol; consume it until they faint or try to puke their intestines out— he knows, he understands.

 Being a shy, 19-year-old who can't dance makes him appreciate alcohol every time he wants to have a little more fun than usual— or you know, laid, because the drinks that make his cheeks turn red and everything around him funnier also make him have the guts to talk to strangers who seem to be interested in him.

So yeah, Jisoo understands why Kim Mingyu is lying in his apartment floor with his left hand in his stomach and the other in his 4-year-long crush's hand.

Alcohol makes wonders to people.

... Most of the times, that is.

Jisoo giggles to himself as he scans the room one more time to make sure nobody (Lee Seokmin) is making a mess in his shared apartment, and shrugs when he realizes that the party isn't that bad and actually quite boring, with the exception of the people grinding on the living room, and that couple that tried to enter to his room to God-knows-what with the door closed.

What Jisoo doesn't understand about parties is the hidden something in everyone's smirks and smiles. How some people seem to drink themselves into oblivion, share a kiss or their bodies with strangers because of that void inside of them; that hole that nothing (nobody else) seems to fill... pretending like everything is okay.

Jisoo really doesn't understand it.

But he knows it too well.

The 19-year-old boy grabs another beer from the counter and sips from it as he looks into the eyes of the pretty blonde that is in front of him. She's been staring at him the whole night, and Jisoo knows that if he drinks a little more, he'd be able to get the courage needed to walk towards her.

The blonde gives him a smile; she's got a cute one— plump lips coloured in a pretty shade of red, white pearls, and cheekbones that went high when she grinned.

It's hot, and Jisoo can't help but imagine how they'd taste like, how they'd feel like on him, but his thoughts also start wandering towards the dangerous zone— the one he knows very well.

They're not...

She's not...

He sighs.

Jisoo stands up when he realizes that maybe what he needs at the moment isn't , but fresh air, and shrugs as he thinks that if the girl is truly interested, she'll follow.

Maybe going out at 3:00 a.m. for a walk because your mind is too ing loud and won't shut up isn't really smart, but Jisoo is drunk and he doesn't care, at least not anymore.

Jisoo looks funnily at his door when he gets out of the apartment; it's strange leaving his own home when there are around 40 persons he doesn't really know inside, but he shrugs the thought off and decides that Jihoon will hopefully take care of that.

He stumbles as he walks down the building stairs, he is smiling but he feels that his heart will break from all the pounding inside his ribcage. Reminiscing is, sadly, the best thing Jisoo is at, and all he can do as he gives small, but rapid steps, is think about soft hands and hair pulling and laughter.

A heavenly smile that still leaves Jisoo breathless.

His smile starts fading— he curses under his breath as he wonders why the hell someone hasn't repaired the lift yet, and decides to go to the store downtown when his stomach grumbles.

It is easier said than done, because Hong Jisoo and the darkness don't match really well— not when all he can do is take heavy steps and kind of see in the night but not really.

His vision is blurry, but he can make out two bodies tangled in each other,next to the alley. He knows them, recognizes them when he sees long hair and broad shoulders.

Yoon Jeonghan stops kissing Choi Seungcheol for a moment— Seungcheol is still biting and kissing and — he hasn't seen Jisoo yet.

But Jeonghan has.

Jisoo nods his head in aknowledgement; feels embarrassed for interrupting his be— Jeonghan and Seungcheol. He hadn't even realized Jeonghan was in the party, in his apartment, with him, but he knew about Seungcheol; Boo Seungkwan had annoyingly told him about how good the other looked with his new hair color, pointed at the older and didn't shut up until Seokmin literally dragged him away from Jisoo.

(Jisoo thinks he's exaggerating, he doesn't look that good.)

Jeonghan gives him a small smile, and Jisoo can tell it is fake. The 19-year-old rolls his eyes and looks at the sky as he starts walking again. The grey-coloured clouds make him feel everything but peace; it's going to rain soon, he thinks, and, who even invited him?

''Soonyoung,'' Jisoo breathes out, he shakes his head in disapproval and somehow manages to trip over his own feet.

His eyes are closed and he has his eyebrows furrowed; anticipating the cold, hard ground to hit his face.

He doesn't prevent it from happening, so he's surprised when he finds himself still in his feet; someone is holding him from the shoulders, though, and the breathing in his neck kind of gives away who is behind him.

''Are you okay?'' Yoon Jeonghan asks, removing his tight grip from his shoulders to stand besides him. He has a concerned look in his face; he is frowning and Jisoo's eyes are stuck on him like glue. As if looking away for a mere second— even blinking, would make him disappear.

Jisoo doesn't realize that he misses the warmth of his hands on his shoulders.

''Jisoo?'' Jeonghan asks, he tilts his head to see Jisoo's face from a better angle.

The latter only nods with his head, and looks at the sky once again.

Maybe he did wanted Jeonghan to disappear from his view.

''You left Choi Seungcheol.'' For me? He wants to ask, but he settles for a statement instead. His eyes seem to give everything away, though— since Jeonghan giggles as soon as he finishes his sentence.

''Well you looked kind of drunk so...? I thought you might need help in whatever you were going to do?'' Jeonghan says, ''Since when are you so formal to Seungcheol-hyung, anyways?''

Jeonghan is smiling, at him, and Jisoo doesn't know what to do; butterflies flying out of his mouth as the other draws a curve on his lips. 

''I don't need your help,'' Jisoo claims, he clears his throat and looks at the ground. ''And it doesn't matter, honestly.''

Being harsh came naturally when Jisoo was drunk, but Jeonghan wasn't offended; his smile only got wider— and Jisoo could swear he could see stars in his eyes.

''Oh, but you do.'' Jeonghan says, taking Jisoo's arm on his own to start walking again, ''You were going to get your midnight snacks, weren't you?'' He giggles.

''Ah, so typical...''

Jisoo isn't able to say anything as the other practically drags him to the other side of the street.

Silence... Jisoo normally doesn't mind silence. He enjoys it, actually— he savors it every time he has the opportunity to actually witness it (having a large group of friends prevents it from happening most of the time) but now that the steps seem to be longer and the shop further away than normal... he's not so sure.

It is not like Jeonghan hasn't tried to start a conversation with him; the boy has been genuinely trying to do so, but all he has been getting is hums and nods from Jisoo. And it's not Jisoo's fault— technically. He would also love to talk to him like before, forget everything that has happened and laugh at everything the long-haired boy says... but that was the problem.

He can't.

Jisoo sighs, lost in his thoughts. 

''How is Jihoon? I heard he's dating Soonyoung already?'' Jeonghan raises his eyebrows, and it's funny— really. He has a hopeful look in his face that makes Jisoo realize the boy still believes in love. It shouldn't be funny, but somehow it is, so he laughs.

... And shakes his head, because where did he hear that?

''Not really.'' He mutters. 

''What about the other kids?'' Jeonghan asks, ''Hansol left the country, right...?'' His voice fades out as he talks, and that glint of hope is still shining in his eyes— is that about something else?

Does...

Does Jeonghan still believe in Jisoo?

Jisoo smiles— he doesn't believe in himself anymore, why would Jeonghan do it?

He glances at the sky again; something is burning inside of his chest and Jisoo can't tell decipher what it is. But he knows he feels stupid, like — and why is he even talking to Yoon Jeonghan?

It was his fault after all.

''Shouldn't you ask them yourself?'' Jeonghan blinks twice, ''I am sure Seungcheol-hyung can tell you about that.''

Jeonghan opens his mouth to speak, but it stays open as he smiles and looks at the sky too.

Jeonghan is smiling.

And Jisoo frowns— because whatever-the-hell that was going on at the moment wasn't something to laugh about. Jisoo feels offended and confused but gasps when Jeonghan grabs his hand to run towards Jisoo's home together.

It's raining.

Jeonghan smile is contagious, it has always been, so even though Jisoo still feels pretty pissed about the situation, he finds himself grinning at the long-haired boy and realizes how strange it had felt not to do it.

They are breathless and still laughing when they arrive to the buidling— the girl behind the counter at the reception gives them a bad look, and Jisoo doesn't care whether it is about their hands or their condition. They are recovering their breaths as they go upstairs, so they don't notice the lack of music and people in the building. It's dark, silent and empty in the stairs, but the silence isn't uncomfortable anymore.

Jeonghan gives Jisoo a small smile as he lets go of his hand and knocks on Jisoo's door, only to open it himself a few moments later.

Empty.

Jisoo looks around with a frown in his face; he's sure that he wasn't that much time outside of his home for the party to end already.

So, to say he's confused is an understatement.

Jihoon is not even there— and unless he decided to ditch him for Soonyoung, he's sure that he'd be cleaning around the apartment at the moment.

Jisoo frowns, and he realizes the place isn't totally empty as Jeonghan clears his throat awkwardly.

''Uh- Jisoo...'' Jeonghan mutters under his breath, eyelashes covering his eyes as he drags his words

Jisoo is not sure if he wants to hear what Jeonghan has to say or not.