Tick tock ty clock.

Flashback...

We were eating in one of our fave stall near school. I was not feeling well but I had lunch with you because I miss you.

"Love? I want a dog in our 4th aniversary?"

"Sure. What breed do you like?" I asked.

"Chow chow or bichon friss." She exclaimed.

"Baby that's too expensive but I will save up just to buy you one." I kissed her forehead.

I know that it will take me months to save up for that kind of dog but I know it will be worth it. After all im just a student who have a $5 allowance everyday so yeah. Lots and lots and lots of meals I have to skip. 

---

"What!? I dont what to go home. You could go first. Sheesh!  You're ruining my mood you !" 

We were hanging out in starbucks and I wasnt feeling well that day because I was tired and have a fever. I asked if we could go home early just I can rest and we have school tomorrow but noooooo. You degraged infront of OUR friend but I didnt mind it because I knew you wanted to be woth them more than me so I just sit and endure the pain in my head until you wanted to go home. It was 9pm when you decided to head home. I was relived because I can rest for  6 more hours because it will take us 2 hours to get home and I have 7am class the next day.

You noticed that I was quiet so you asked if I was okay so duh? I said I was okay because  if I said I werent you would've accused me that I was just acting so why bother? You wont believe me anyways. I didnt notice I was already crying when you run you thumb across my cheek. I wasnt crying because Im sick, im crying because it hurts. Im hurt. Deeply hurt. You care about your friends than your own lover.

"What's wrong?" You asked with a worried expression. 

"Nothing. My head hurts." I lied.

"Aigoo. C'Mon you big baby." You motioned me to lay my head on you lap. You run your slender fingers through my hair until I fell asleep.

"I love you. Please stay with me." That was my last thought before I fell into a deep slumber.

---

Tick tock ty clock

6.3.12 8 oclock.

All you do is .

Flashback

"Baby, im hungry!" You whined. It was 6am and I know you wanted me to buy you breakfast.

"Okay princess. What do you want?" I asked.

"You should already know what I want. Geez! Dont even bother!"

*click* the line went dead so I decided to buy you all the food that I know that you love. I spent my daily allowance just to buy you breakfast. I know I know. How will I go to school now? Ugh. Well. I just have not to eat at school.

As I walk towards your house I was nervous I knew you were mad but hey? I brought food so you forgave me easily. Gave me a peck on the lips as a thank you and went back inside your house. Aigoo. Just a peck from you and my walls is crumbling down. Thats how much I love you.

---

I was at mcdonalds near school .

"Baby im sorry okay? I didnt mean to. I dont even know what I did wrong." I explained over the phone.

"You dont know?"

".."

"YOU DONT KNOW!?" she shouted.

"Babe? Just calm down okay. Can you pick me up? I have no more money left. I paid my classmate  for our reaserch." I said.

"Hahahaha! Really now? Well guess what? Start walking now because im not gonna come." You said.

"Ha-ha very funny babe. I'll be waiting". I said.

"Seriously im not coming." You said.

"So you'll just let me walk all the way home?" I exclaimed.

"Yep." You replied cockily.

"Are you ing serious jessica? It'll take me 2 hours to reach home and im tired already." I said 

"Not my problem."  you said.

"Come on babe. My class was 7am-7pm. Im really tired now. And I wont bother you if I have money left. So please. Pick me up." I said tiredly.

"Are you stupid!? I said I wont ing come!" You ended the call. I  called you back but you werent picking up. I have no choice but to walk all the way home. 

"Yoong? What happened to you? And why is your uniform turned into brown? Your uniform is white?" My mom asked me. Thank god she didnt see me crying. I said nothing and  head into my room and rest.

"Baby im home." I texted you.

"Really? Well that was fast." You replied.

"You let me walk home. Dont you know how scared I was?" 

"You're really getting into my nerves! Shut up! I told you its not my problem right? Tss."

I didnt even bother to reply because I know it'll just hurt me more. I sleep with a heavy heart that night. How I wish you know how much it hurts but no. I know you  dont give a . 

---

"Baby?" 

"Hmm?"

"Someone approach me today. A guy." 

I whipped my head towards your direction and abandoned my homework.

"What does he want?" I asked. I was trying really hard to suppress my inner green monster.

"He wants to be friends." You answered non chalantly.

"What did you say?" I quipped.

"I said okay."

"Did you gave him your number? "

"No."

"Good." I said and focused in my homework again.

After a few days, I found out that you actually gave your number to him. I asked to see you texts to each other but it was deleted already. Lol. I actually believe that you didnt gave him but noooo. You played me. I was forcing myself to think that you didnt cheat. I was thinking for reasons why would you lie to me. You said you will never ever cheat on me but nooooo. I was hurt. AGAIN.  You said it was just a friendly conversation but I cant help to think if you're telling the truth. Im torn. I wanted to believe but a part of me is doubting you. I love you with all of my heart. With my body and soul. With my everything and yet its not enough. 

Starting from that day I became paranoid. I always nagged at you. Whined. Whatever it is to get your attention. I dont want to lose you jessica. I always pray to god to give me strenght to hold on but I know its just a matter of time that I will give up. Im tired of loving you. Iy ing hurts to love you.

"Im sorry. We were fighing and I was just mad and I wanted to hurt you." You said to me while crying because I confronted you about that guy arvin.

"Just dont do it again okay?" I aaid while hugging her.

"I love you." And just like that. I forgave her easily. AGAIN.

---

"Yoong? Are you okay? You've been zoning out for like 10mins now." Tiffany asked me worriedly. I forgot we're in class and professor rodney is yapping about some medical . Ugh.

"Im fine fany." I said.

Let me tell you something about tiffany. Well? Uh? How do I start?

Tiffany... well.. She WAS my crush before jessica came. Her bestfriend, bora is my ex. Haha! Well we tiffany and I was suppose to be together but she learnt about bora's feelings towards me and she encourage me to say yes to her bestfriend. That we cant be together because she doesnt want to hurt her bestfriend. (You get the picture right readers?) Anyways. We broke up after a month and I want to pursue tiffany but that thai guy nickhun is now with her. After a year she got pregnant and got dumped by that jerk. Ugh! I really wanted to kill that guy. Anyways..

"If only you said yes to me. We could have been happy." I said sincerly. SHe held my hand.

"I told why I didnt said yes right?"

"But I dont love her. It was you at that time and you know that." I said fiercely. "If only you said yes, you wouldnt get hurt. You wouldnt get dumped. Got pregnant. Aish! tiffany! You knew its you. You knew it very well." I said while exhaling trtrying to calm my self down.

"Im sorry yoong. Its too late now." You said while smiling sadly. 

"Its never too late fany. Im here now." 

"It is yoong. As much as I hate to admit it. You love jessica now. I can see it through your eyes. Everytime you look at her its like you cant see anyone else beside her. I know because thats how you looked at me." You said.

"But-"

"But what?" Fany cutted me off. 

"She treats me like . Like im not important to her." I said. I didnt notice I was already crying. Aigoo. Jessica. Why do I have to always cry when it come to you. I know I should've walked away a long time ago but I cant. I love you too much just to simply let go and walk away.

 "Thats not true yoong. You've been together for 2years already. Im sure she loves you." 

"You think so?"

" I know so." Fany said while showing me her beautiful eye smile.

"Thank you fany-ah." 

*silence*

"If ever we meet again in the future and we're both single, will you give me a chance?" I asked her bravely. She seemed shocked but smile afterwards and nodded. No more words exchange.

---

Maybe loving you is not enough. Maybe you dont love me anymore but I will try uuntil I cant take it anymore. I dont want to give up on us easily. You're too important. After all the thing we've been through.i dont need to say it but I proved to myself that my love for you is greater that the love for myself. They said im ing stupid for sticking with you. They said you really dont love but I dont believe them. I believe in you. In us. One day everything will be okay. I just need to be strong right? Lol. Ladies and gents? I'm the prefect example of stupidity at its finest.

-----------------------------------

True story by yours truly.

P.s im really sorry for not updating how it all started. I really lost my inspiration to continue it but I will really try to update before the year end. Aigoo. Im sorry guys. Forgive me. Im just going through some rough patch right now. With school. With life. Hasit! Im ing fed up with all the lies. ! ! 

P.p.s this is written continuosly. No edit. Raw. Full of errors so pardon me. Sorry. This has no plot. Just wrote what's on my mind because im sad as . Do I need to let go or hold on? I love her so much it breaks me slowly. !