He inhaled the cold air of the night and shut his eyes tightly for a second. He exhaled. Eyes open. Inhale. Eyes wandering down to the sleeping girl in his arms. Exhale. He parts his lips slightly, still in disbelief, watching her inhale, then exhale, inhale again, exhale one more time. The simple fact of her breathing, eyes closed, lips swollen could make him weak in the knees, thank God he was sitting down. She trusted him enough to fall asleep in his arms, on the roof of her house, her parents sound asleep downstairs.

He had this bad habit of sneaking out of his dorm and walk on the streets of Seoul after the sun set down,with no purpose at all, just to clear his mind.

It was one of those days that he met her, passing by an indie band performing on the street at 2am. Strange thing, that is. But he wasn't in a place where he could judge, after all he was the one eating ice-cream with his sunglasses on... at 2am. She was one of the few passersby who decided to stick around and listen to the sweet music... "Just for fun" she told him a little bit later. "Students get bored of studying so they listen to music. I wonder if musicians study when they get bored of music". She made no sense, but somehow that made him even more curious about her. Back then, he was still a trainee so the girl couldn't have possibly known him. It wasn't as if she approached him first.

Namjoon also had a thing for pretty girls. Which boy didn't? She was pretty. Beautiful, actually. He noticed her first, when she turned around to leave after the little concert was over. He didn't approach her then, though. But, man, did he regret it in the coming days. Her brown eyes were so deep and mesmerizing, they were all he could think about. Although it wasn't love at first sight, he was surely infatuated.

He met her again a month later, when she was struggling to open the door of the coffee shop with a cup in each hand. He helped her. She thanked him, her lips shaping into a small smile. He let go of the door and it hit him in the face. She couldn't help but laugh. He couldn't even bother to feel embarassed, he was trying to remember how to properly breathe. Inhale. Exhale. Or was it the other way around? Shoud he exhale first? He messed up the order and he couldn't remember now, not that he cared much. Because that's how they started talking and he could forget how to blink as well, for all he cared. He could stare at her longer this way.

Two years later, he debuted. Two years later, they were still talking. Somewhere in between he changed his bad habit. He had a new one now, one that had a purpose. Her. Sneaking into her room at midnight and them talking about every and any little thing in this world, getting bored of the background and moving their talks up to the roof. His new favourite guilty pleasure were nights like this. They became good friends but Namjoon was still forgetting how to breathe around her. In those to years that passed, he never once had the courage to confess. 

Until one night, when he couldn't take it anymore. It was the fourth time that week when she came home and cried in his arms, which were wrapped thightly and securely around her waist. She couldn't see the pained expression on his face whenever she mentioned that jerk's name, let alone how much it hurt Namjoon when she cried because of him. He was patient and he never said a thing. But that night he decided he'd had enough. "If you only looked at me, just once, really looked at me, you could've seen that I would have never treated you this way. Why don't you ever look at me? Stop giving me sorrowful glances and look at me, for once." And she did. Slowly, she started to look at him more and more and, slowly, she forgot how to breathe as well. Inhale. Exhale. Or was it the other way around? Shoud she exhale first? She messed up the order and she couldn't remember, not that she cared much. She started to discover parts of Namjoon she never noticed before. His eyes that were ever so understanding of her pain. His beautiful eyesmile that he saved for her at the end of a tiring day. His cute dimples, something she loved when it came to guys. His tiny nose that suited his handsome face so well. Things she noticed before as well, but back the, when she was giving him sorrowful glances, she only saw his eyes, his eyesmile, his dimples, his nose, his face. Inhale. Exhale. Fast-forward to seven months later and Namjoon is carefully climbing the window to her room. He is scared she will catch a cold, it is the middle of the fall, after all. They had gotten too used to the hot nights of august, when she was bringing jelly beans on the rooftop, in just her shorts and a "i love california" t-shirt, having contests of "how many jellys can you catch with your mouth without falling down". She almost fell. Twice. In the same night. It was pure luck and probably genetics that made him have quick reflexes, but he decided that he'll be the only one doing the catching. She could throw all she wanted.

He tucked her in and turned the lamp off, then kissed her softly on the lips. He stole one last glance and he climbed out of her window, leaving it partly open, then he slowly faded into the night, on the way to his dorm. He made a note to himself to tell her to bring a blanket outside tomorrow. It was really cold, he could see his breath when he exhaled.