Minghao still remembers the argument they had. It was so stupid, now that he thinks about it. He wants to run back through time, take it all back, take back his harsh words. Shouldn’t a year be enough to move on? He stares blankly out the window of their apartment. His apartment now. It still feels too empty, too lifeless, too wrong.

“Hey.”

Minghao doesn’t answer, doesn’t turn around.

“What are you thinking of?”

A moment passes, then Minghao’s quiet voice comes out broken as he chokes out an ‘I miss you.’ Minghao sniffles, feeling the tears about to fall.

“Junhui, I miss you so much. It’s only been a year, but it feels so empty without you. It still hurts just as much.”

“Baby, you’re strong. You’ll move on-”

“I know I should move on, but I don’t want to.” Minghao mumbles.

“I don’t want to.”He repeats, finally breaking down for the first time since Junhui died. “I can’t. I won’t. I promised that I will always and forever be yours. I’m not gonna break it. Not even if it kills me.”

Junhui stares at him helplessly, heartbroken. It’s his fault his baby is hurting so badly. But what can he do? He’s only a ghost now.

Minghao’s cries grow louder, and he collapses to the floor.

"Jun, why didn't you let me die with you?" he sobs.

Junhui falls to his knees in front of him, wanting to touch him, hold him.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean any of the things I told you, I swear." Minghao whimpers.

“I know, baby, I know. I love you so much, nothing would ever change that.” Junhui speaks, cupping his face even though Minghao can’t hear or feel him.

He doesn’t know how much time passed when Minghao’s sobs finally turn into sniffles. He doesn’t know what was worse: seeing his love cry for him or the blank, empty look afterwards. Junhui watches as Minghao gets to his feet, walking into their- his, bathroom. He watches as Minghao splashes water onto his face, staring at his reflection in the mirror.

Minghao opens the side cabinet, grasping the bottle of sleeping pills. He stares at it lifelessly, then at his reflection. He’s gotten paler and skinnier, almost gaunt now.

“Would you still think I’m beautiful now?” Minghao wonders out loud.

“Yes, always. Minghao, please don’t do what I think you’re about to do.” Junhui pleads, taking a step towards him.

“Gege, do you remember what you last told me? You made me promise that I would live and be happy.” Minghao mumbled dazedly, uncapping the bottle and pouring the pills out.

“Minghao, please, no.” Junhui grabs his shoulders, cursing the gods for not making Minghao able to feel him, hear him.

“I’m sorry. I can’t keep that promise, it hurts too much.” He looks up with a sad smile, meeting Junhui’s eyes, even though he can’t see him.

“No, baby, you promised me. You promised, please, don’t do this.” Junhui begged.

“Gege, I’m coming to you now. We’ll be together again, we can be happy.” Minghao stared at the pills for just an instant, then swallowed them, unable to hear Junhui crying out for him.

“MINGHAO NO!”

Minghao falls to the floor with a loud thud, passing through Junhui’s body. The ghost stands there in shock, then quickly moves in front of the boy so that he wouldn’t be standing in his body.

“Damn it, Minghao.” Junhui chuckled hollowly, ignoring the tears threatening to fall in place of caressing his lover’s face.   All he could do now was wait until Minghao’s soul wakes up.