In her 17 years of life, Suzy has never felt this nervous and anxious before. The nerves she felt performing comeback stages on music shows or at large-scale kpop concerts in front of thousands of audience were nothing compared to this exact moment as she walked past the doors of many waiting rooms to find the one room that was her ultimate destination. Now, she was no longer Suzy Bae, one quarter of Miss A, she was simply Bae Soo Ji, a girl who was about to meet the boy who made her heart flutter. She could barely contain her excitement as she escaped the teasing looks from her fellow members and stepped out of Miss A’s waiting room, blending in with the staff that busied themselves backstage. Concert rehearsals were going on and that meant everyone was too busy to pay any notice to her. Thankfully, there was still a long wait before Miss A’s rehearsal was scheduled and more importantly, he had finished his rehearsals. Now was the only time Suzy could use to find her way towards SHINee’s waiting room, one step at a time, where her boyfriend was waiting.

Boyfriend. Lee Taemin. Those were words she never imagined she could put together. Dreaming about it was one thing, but saying it in real life was another. Their relationship wasn’t as easy as ABC and it was nothing too elaborate either. Everything just fell in place after it started from a simple crush. A crush that Suzy herself admitted on national radio where she confessed she wanted to get close to Taemin. Coincidentally, the radio programme was hosted by Taemin’s senior from the same entertainment company and being the nice sunbaenim he was, Leeteuk had given her his number with so much enthusiasm, basking in the delight that he could play matchmaker. Suzy was embarrassed but that didn’t stop her from saving Taemin’s number in her phone secretly under the table. Of course, like any normal teenage girl, she only stared at the number, unable to find the courage to press dial so Taemin’s number was pretty much left untouched.

It wasn’t until the day that Taemin decided to pay his hyungs a visit at Music Core that Suzy finally had the chance to exist in the same place as him. Suzy could still remember getting teased by both Minho and Onew when Taemin and her had started bowing so politely to each other when their eyes met, both sporting a blush on their faces. As though the atmosphere wasn’t awkward enough, Minho even went one step further and teased out loud, “Suzy look, Taemin’s here! Didn’t you want to get close to him?” Until today, Suzy couldn’t forget the feeling of wanting to dig a hole to bury herself. She also couldn’t forget how Taemin had turned to Minho with a suddenly serious face, saying “Hyung, you’re not helping at all.” before walking up to her with a shy smile, clearing his throat nervously to ask “it’ll be nice if we can get to know each other… what do you think?” And the rest, as they say, is history.

As she came closer and closer to the door of SHINee’s waiting room, one of the best memories (if not the best memory) replayed in her mind. And that was the moment when it wasn’t just friendship between them. The turning point of their relationship came on one of those dates Suzy and Taemin had at the oddest timings and deserted but decent places (like old playgrounds, quiet parks and cafes tucked in side streets and alleyways) when Taemin suddenly held her hand, looked deep into her eyes and questioned “When you said you wanted to get close to me, did you mean as friends only?” Suzy had been too shocked (out of embarrassment) to answer but it didn’t matter because Taemin went on to confess, “Because you know… after spending time with you and getting to know who you truly are, I think we could be more than just friends.” Suzy could still feel the touch of Taemin’s hand on hers and remember the captivating smile on Taemin’s face when she muttered “I think so too…” as she finally reached the door that had SHINee labeled on it.  

The walk to reach this door was like walking down memory lane. And Suzy felt so grateful that she even had these memories to think back upon. Even though their relationship was tough considering the circumstances they were in, Suzy knew it was better than having nothing at all. Upon taking in a deep breath, Suzy knocked twice. This was it. Everything she was nervous, anxious and excited about was waiting for her on the other side of the door, the door that she had just opened. There, she saw Taemin, who she suspected was taking forty winks, look up from the couch he was resting on. The way his tired eyes regained its energy to light up with so much happiness and love was another memory Suzy was going to have etched in her mind. Suzy had to stop herself from running into his arms as she forced herself to walk steadily towards him, like the confident young lady she is.

“Where’s everyone else?” The room was shockingly empty with Taemin alone by himself with no sight of s at all. Even his managers and coordi noonas were missing!

“I chased them out.” Taemin smiled and sat upright, patting the space beside him as an obvious sign for Suzy to join him.

“Seriously?” Suzy stopped in front of Taemin with amazement.

“Of course not. Manager hyung and the noonas had to settle some stuff. And my hyungs had the decency to leave once I told them you were coming.” Taemin laughed. And once the last word escaped his lips, he caught Suzy’s hand and pulled her down into his lap!

“Oppa!” Suzy gasped and quickly looked away to hide the obvious blush that she felt appear.

“We don’t have much time.” Taemin tightened his hug around Suzy’s waist. “We never do.”

The disappointment in Taemin’s voice caused Suzy to look up in an instant with eyes filled with uneasiness.

“Do you… regret-”

Without even needing to hear what Suzy was about to ask, Taemin silenced her with a light kiss.

“Don’t even dare think about that. You’re all I could ever ask for.” Taemin leaned his forehead against hers, a playful smile growing on his face. “And i'll never let you sing Goodbye Baby to me... though i do love your voice very much.”

And this was why it was all worth it. Even if they couldn’t have a normal relationship, even though they barely spent any time physically with each other, only relying on text messages and phone calls, even if they could only sneak around like criminals, even though it was one hell of a challenge, this love was something Suzy was never ever going to let go. At least not in this lifetime.    

(“Hey! Concentrate while I kiss you Sooji!” came Taemin’s low voice.

Suzy giggled. “Sorry Oppa… I was just thinking about how I love you so much.”

“Okay, you’re forgiven. Now where were we? Right, this…”

And Taemin captured Suzy in a kiss that made it impossible for her mind to wander at all.)

Author's Note: i think... i am only capable of writing fluff. because reality does and this is fan fiction. hahaha. so, what do you guys think? hope you enjoyed the story! :) comments would be lovely.