3 Years Later

“Welcome to SM Entertainment. You all have auditioned well, but now I’m going to choose only two of you to be our trainee for this year’s audition.”

I felt my hands slightly trembling, despite the cool face I’ve put on. I brushed my pixie hair lightly, showing my masculine demeanor that I’ve grown into for as long as I remember.

So much for being mistaken as a boy.

 

“Congratulations to….”

 

Silence suffocated the room as everyone waited in anticipation and nervousness.

 

“Kris Wu and Amber Liu!”

 

I subconsciously maneuvered my head to all spot around the room. And then my eyes met a pair of orbs that I’m truly familiar with. His gaze also met mine.

Kris?

 

He’s changed a lot, I thought.

But his face feature has never failed me to recognize him.

His expression was as shocked as mine.

Even now.

“Now, the rest of the day will be your free time, but you need to be back before 7 p.m.”

“Ne. Kamsahabnida.”

I heard the door creaked as it closed by the last SM staff who left the room. All other contestants had left since they heard the announcement and walked away with disappointment. I felt bad for them for a sec, until I realized one thing.

Kris and I were the only ones in the room.

Awkward filled the room as I tried to make a conversation with him to pop inside my head. Something that I had been unfamiliar with for three years.

“Well, long time no see, Amber.”

I turned my head to where he stood, still too scared to gaze right into his eyes. The circumstances when he left back then were still affecting my feelings these days.

He noticed my hesitation and frowned.

“Are you still mad at me?”

I sighed as I turned my head away towards the window. I couldn’t say that I was still mad at him. Heartbroken, yes. But mad? It was more like I was confused on how to approach him.

There had been a wall there between us ever since he left, and I was left baffled in this different circumstance.

“I don’t know, Kris. It’s just, everything has changed.” I said as I turned my head back to him. This time gazing right into his orbs.

Before pulling away my gaze once more.

“Well, then,” Kris cleared his throat.

“since it’s been a while, how about we go somewhere?”

My mind went into total confusion as I stared back at him.

“Well, you know,” He scratched his nape while keeping his eyes locked on me.

“to keep-up with each other?”

He broke the staring contest first by looking at his feet.

Even though we went our own ways back then, would be a lie to tell everyone I don’t miss him. I missed him every day, wondering if I ever still stand a chance to meet this guy.

So why not take the chance? Maybe we could still pick-up the pieces. Maybe, just maybe.

 

“Sure.”

He pulled a smile that was only a recorded scene in my head for the last three years. One more thing that I’ve missed came to life.

“Okay then, I’ll call a cab in one hour, you wanna go change your clothes?”

“Yeah, I brought some clothes with me, you?” I answered as I tried to keep myself unpressured to have a conversation with him.

“The usual, jeans and leather jacket.” He shrugged.

The very usual clothes he always brings for an afternoon date.

“You never lose your jeans and leather taste, huh?” I said as I found myself smiling subconsciously to him.

I guess I’m picking the right path.

“Old habits die hard, I bet your clothes are still shirt, hoodies, and training pants.”

He smirked.

I chuckled as I gazed at the floor.

It’s nice to know he still remembered every little detail about me.

“Let’s get dressed then.”

 

An hour later, a cab came to pick us up from SMent lobby.

“Where are we going?” I asked to this person who chose to sit with me instead of next to the driver.

“Myeongdong, duh! Where else?” He said in exaggerating manner.

“Usual, huh?” I teased back.

The place where we ended up to have a date the most,

The cab move as it passed a Dalgona stand.

and also where we had our first date.

“Haven’t eaten dalgona since I went back to Guangzhou.” Kris said as he averted my focus onto him.

“When did you even come back to Korea?” I asked while raising an eyebrow.

“Just last week.” He shrugged.

“Last week?” I asked in surprise.

“Then why didn’t you try to come and visit me?” I asked in confusion.

“I’ve been busy.”

Busy? He was never too busy for me.

“Excuse me?”

“I’m currently working in my dad’s company branch in Korea. I almost work full time.” He explained.

“But too busy to at least inform me?” I asked as I raised my tone.

“Look, Amber I’m-“

“The hell, Kris? You could’ve at least called me, or text me, or anything! What’s so hard in telling me that you’re coming back?” I asked with anger.

I feel betrayed.

“Amber, list-“

“Or are you too busy hooking up with some girls now that we’re 21?” I asked once more, pain emerged on my chest as I felt hurt.

“What? No, Amber I’m not that kind of guy-“

The driver interrupted our argument with clearing his throat loud enough to overpower our fight.

 

“I apologize for interrupting, but we’re here.”

“No, our apologies for making you wait.” Kris said on my behalf as he paid the fare.

I decided to get out first and took a deep breath of fresh air. I didn’t realized how energy-draining it was to fight with Kris until I stepped out of the cab.

The sound of car door closing and the roar of the cab engine brought back the tension we had inside the cab. I turned around to see the very person I missed everyday ended up to be the person I hated the most today. He looked to me in the eyes and sighed.

“Look, I’m sorry okay? I’m sorry for not informing you that I came and I’m sorry for not making time for you.” He said in desperation tone.

“I’ll let you go this time since I haven’t been to Myeongdong lately, but I still haven’t forgive you.” I said in a firm tone. I needd to make a firm line to show that not making time for me was past the boundaries.

“Fine, let’s go.” He said as he sighed once more.

Kris went to lead the way while I just followed behind him.

It has never been like this. We’d always walk side by side.

It had been easier back then. We would never fight for more than a day because we would always say our sorry with game. Or sometime a basketball match.

As much as I dwelled on my mind and keeping my head low enough that his presence wasn’t even on my vision range, I just knew where he would take me. Even my feet were dragging me here subconsciously.

The usual dried squid stand.

“I’ll have one please, um… no, I mean two.” Kris said as he looked like he was thinking hard to not offense me further.

It has never been like this. We would always buy just one and share. He would always feed me.

Was I too harsh on him that he didn’t dare to buy just one like before?

Nah, he deserved just as much pain as I endured.

“Yours.” He said shortly as he handed one to me while not meeting me in the eyes.

I took it hesitantly and looked inside the plastic bag.

No matter how mad I am to him, I still felt bad for him.

Kris walked away from the stand with his hands in his pockets. I reluctantly followed him, trying to keep up with him in this crowded hour.

Keep up, huh?

I glanced around and before I knew it, I lost Kris. I tried to look around, but I couldn’t spot him anywhere, it was just too crowded.

I decided to swerve from the swarm of people to the nearest cosmetic store as memory strike back into my head.

 

“Kris?”

I tried to look around, but there was just too much people. I moved a little bit to the left and hit someone accidentally.

“Hey, watch it!”

“I’m so sorry.” I said as I bowed my apology.

The person looked annoyed but left anyway, not wanting to waste time with me and left his date unattended.

“Dammit, where are you Kris?” I said under my breath, before I suddenly felt a strong hand engulfed my back.

I turned around to see the guy I was looking for.

“Amber, God I thought I had lost you.” Kris said as he embraced me.

“I’m so sorry for leaving you alone.” He said as he snuggled onto my hair.

“It’s okay, but next time, try to remember you are bringing your girlfriend with you.” I said as I let go of the hug to see his face.

“Aye aye, mem!” He said as he saluted like an idiot in the middle of the street.

I laughed at how silly he could be when he was gifted with the cool bad boy face since birth.

“Let’s go, Am.” He said as he took my hand in his.

“And this time, I’ll make sure I won’t lose you ever again!”

 

Hhh... I guess I was too harsh on him.

Can’t we get back to the way it was?

I was so lost in the beautiful memory and thoughts that I didn’t realize the same big hand reached across my back, until the owner of the hand spoke.

“Amber?”

He said with a worried face.

I embraced him without second thoughts and snuggled into his broad and warm chest.

“I thought I had lost you, Kris.”

I felt him tensed at my words.

I guess he remembered the incident.

With hesitancy at first, he finally engulfed me with the same old hug.

“I’m sorry.” He said as he let go of me to see me in the eye.

I felt a sudden urge to cry when guilt ate me up by seeing his regretful eyes.

“Hey, hey, don’t cry. What’s wrong Am?” He asked as he shook my body slightly after he saw my eyes at the verge of tearing up.

I felt my words came as a choke while I harshly wiped my tears.

“Now, now, don’t cry. I’m so sorry for leaving you alone in the crowd.” He said as he hugged me once more.

I felt even guiltier that I felt myself sobbing on his white shirt.

“Hey, it’s okay I got you.” He said as his left hand rubbed circle on my back and his right hand my short-cut hair.

He kept me in his arms for a while, before I felt better and decided to part the hug.

“I’m sorry for being so egoistic. It was just, I miss you so much, every single day that I immediately felt like you betrayed me when you didn’t tell me you were here because you were so busy.” I said not wanting to look at him in the eye in guilt.

“I still love you, you know that?” I asked, and this time I trailed my gaze slowly from the pavement, to his long legs, his well-kept body, his flawless face, and onto his loving eyes.

“Of course I know, silly. I still love you too.” He said as he playfully took me for another embrace.

My heart felt warm knowing that he still loved me.

“C’mon, let’s go grab McDonalds.” He said.

He took my hand in his, guiding me back to the road that was all too familiar to me.

The road to the McDonald, and the road to our old path called “love”, what was long gone.