Dear yunho

Yah I know you will never read this or even be here anymore. 

"I miss you" "i love you" "please comeback" "i'm waiting for you"

I really dont know how long can i still continue saying those.

I have been waiting for you. Keep on praying that you will comeback but day by day i still didnt lose the faith. Even tho i now change my prayer to "i hope he at least didnt forget about us.About our children." Jiyool and moonbin are all i have now. Im thankful that i have them with me. At least you didnt leave me on my own. At least i still have a reason to still continue on living. I miss you yunnie. God know how painful my heart feel right now.the heartache is too much for me to bare but thanks again for those kids. I know...i know everything has the end and nothing last forever. I wish god can make me stronger. Can make me forget you. Can make me stop crying everytime i think about you. I hope you can forgive me for everything. No one is perfect. I have a lot of flaws. Sorry if i hurt you cause sometime i didnt use my brain when i talk. The reason i write this letter is not to make you feel bad but just to let my heart breath for a moment. No yunho you worth it. You deserve me. You are the reason why im so happy and youre the reason my babies exist. So please please dont ever feel deppress or anything. I want you to be happy.

You know at first i was so sad because you forget we're married once and that there is no wedding or ring but im grateful you work so hard to make it right again. Thank you. Tho to be very honest the scar will remain. Selfish arent i? Im sorry i cant help myself from being jealous to the other couple and  i couldnt lie to myself again. I want to be very honest since this might be the last letter for you. I love you so much till it hurt. It hurt so badly yun. Sometime my chest hurt and i cant breath.  Oh my god i dont know why i miss you so much today yunho. I am sad that our children will have to grow up without you. God i miss seeing their cute smile and laugh. I will treasure them and try my best to take care of them.

I want to thank you for everything. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for giving me my angels. Thank you so much for working so hard for us. Thank you for trying again. Thank you for being here for me. Thank you.

Lastly, i will be here waiting for you. I dont know how long but everyday i say "let me love and wait for him just for another day" i keep on telling myself that because before this you did comeback when i waited for you..actually i am so scared that you wont comeback this time no matter how long i wait. I dont want to say goodbye but now i rather hear a goodbye than being clueless.. im so scare yunho. Im so scare...Im not ready to let you go yet. I depend on you too much yunho because you are my other half.

I miss you more than usual today..sorry..thank you...i love you.

Love;

Kim jaejoong