Chapter 12: (continuation lmao)
i started thinking these things because, for the next schook year, that would be my last as a highschool student and i srsly get panic attacks whenever i think of it sometimes because i know what i want to be, yet i cant have the opportunity to grab it. im so conflicted tbvh i even thinjk im starting to get wrinkles because of too much stress.
Chapter 12: i just had to comment on this chap since it talks abt dreams and .
so i've been in an overthinking spree since forever but for 1 year (cool right? i was able to determine how long lol), i kept on overthinking about my dream. i kept on doing it until i just had to force myself to stop because of an incoming headache. you see, my parents are actually old-fashioned and they want the legacy of some sort to continue (coughs mom). my parents work at a hospital and they want me to work in a hospital as well - which i never liked. i want to do performing arts, to worn out my body, because that is where im best at. i want to make people have courage and do their own too, i wanna inspire too like how jongin inspires me to the highest level of dancing... but i cant.. because of my self problems and fam. i want to do it now, i want to go out and dance my off, but i cant because im basically - literally stuck in a country where women are not allowed to go out (not my homeland tho) and (strict country in other words). so, it makes me depressed, overthink, overthink, then suddenly feels like i wont be able to achieve my dreams anymore. it's sad, really. most especially when your dream requires publicity and so much attention yet im scared of those. ironic.
then this happened "dont be intimidated by your own dream. you wouldnt have dreamed of it if you werent capable of doing it" - which sends me to another spree of overthinking.
i want it so bad, i always dream of myself standing on a huge stage, dancing for the people, either inspiring them, making them happy, or both. i wanted to be just like jongin ever since i was a kid,but im scared. im scared of what will happen, what will my fam say, what kind of attention will i get, and most of all, what result would it bring for my future.
Chapter 3: Holy I cried during this chap I mean I saw those comments back then and people told him to die and all sorts. I was like HELLO THIS IS HIS LIFE maybe he's happier like that and we as FANS should support him no matter what. I know this was like a long time ago but I still get upset when I think about it . Even now, when Sehun deleted some of his pics on instagram, some of it were with HanTao and people told him to die! I mean like what's wrong with you guys who want them dead! Omaigod I should stop I'm sorry
Chapter 14: *cries because Chanyeol isn't actually THAT much taller than me-*
I am telling you now, 10 centimetres is a lot less than you may think-
and if he were to hug me, he would have to REALLY lift me for my legs to be in the air-
because I'm so freaking tall for a girl-
this is the problem you face when you're a girl who's like 173/174cm tall at 14 years old and is still growing-
Chapter 10: sometimes I forgot that d.o is the same age as tao.
like man, tao is childish XD and I always thought that tao was the same age the maknae. cause you know. he's childish like the other two XD
I need to remind myself that tao and d.o are the same age like everyday
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