In my opinion, I really like it. For me I wasn't confused, but instead I kinda understood it. Except the part why she left(well then again you haven't told us why the reason is). It was really obvious who the father is(if it's who I think it is). Your grammar is probably better than mine, and so far I haven't seen any. Anyways, from the looks of it I would like it if you update before or after you go to Korea.
haha. I love what you did with the fourth paragraph. c: The dialogue adds more "SHAZAMM" to what you're trying to explain about the resemblance with Yongie and his father, whoever that may be. Nice editing. LOL @Lovely. I can't help it if I'm honest :] The first name that popped into my head about Yongie had been Yoogeun from Shinee's Hello Baby series. That or it was Yesung, but that only because I was watching Star Golden Bell >:]
Awww. Don't listen to coffeePRINCE she/he is obviously a party pooper, either that or she's jealous of your supreme writing skills. I like how you present all the stages of her life. It actually lets others know how this story is going to start. You write really well. Lolz. Great grammar and everything. I have a feeling that the father is someone from big bang or something. Lolz. The kids name reminds me of G-Dragon. Hahah. IS it G-dragon/Kwon Ji YONG? Lolz. Update soon! ^_^
No offense, but....it doesn't really catch my attention. I like your style of writing and I'm curious of who the father may be, but the foreword doesn't seem interesting to me.
Comments