I tell you one thing, the pain of living like you are now is nothing compared to the pain of attempting suicide, failing, and continuing to live despite wanting every day to die. If you fail - and there is a VERY high chance of failure you will be in excruciating pain for the rest of your life. Trust me, I have 41 attempts at killing myself and there isn't one day that doesn't go by that I think about how much I regret having done it... You're not alone, no matter what you're going through in life, people can talk to you about it.

You're never alone. Reach out to someone you trust or here is a list of hotlines you can call: https://www.asianfanfics.com/blog/view/1237227

You should not. "The person who suicides, dies once. Those they left behind die a thousand deaths, trying to relieve those moments and ask why?" There are people that care about you and you should take those people into consideration. Life may be torture now, but someday it will get better.