The heavy old drill in my hand gave off a high pitched buzz as I fastened the bolts to a tire and wiped my brow with the back of my sleeve, probably smearing old grease on my sweat dampened skin but I really could care less. Lately, my mind was constantly on more important things than my work, heavier things that pressed down on my chest so subtly that I hadn’t even noticed them until I stopped to take a look at my current situation.

   It had been five weeks, two days and six hours since Junho had stumbled into my life, and by now the first snow had fallen, leaving a dirty gray scattered on the roads and across the roads. At first, I hadn’t even noticed the change that he brought with him, until Taecyeon started mentioning my difference in demeanor. Gone was the lifeless and passionless being that I had turned into over the years, and in its place was this new me. A new me that woke up with desire, breathed concern into my tired lungs, and met each day with hope. I really had changed.

   “Yo, Khunnie . . . we got a customer who needs a set of snow tires on his truck.” Taec yelled over the sound of my drill and I looked up at him, putting the old piece of junk equipment down and twisting my cap around to the front again as I headed into the store area of the gas station.

   I barely had time to wipe the grease from my hands when a rough voice barked at me with a twist of venom in his tone. “Now don’t wring me dry with the price, son . . .” I looked up into the cold eyes of the aging man who spoke to me as if there was phlegm in his throat.  His wrinkled slightly wrinkled cheeks were hidden behind the short grey stubble that lined around his mouth and jaw in a hacked up, unkept kind of way. It had been so long since I’d seen him, but he hadn’t changed a bit, even the scent of the liquor that radiated off of him burned my nose the same as it used to. The old man did a piss poor job of covering his mouth as he coughed several times and wiped a bit of spit that had dribbled down his beard. “Just get the job done and give me a reasonable price.” He looked at me and I just stood there, wondering how long it would be for him to recognize me.

   “Do you hear me, boy?”

   After a moment, I blinked and then looked away, nodding. Momentarily giving up on my quest for him to remember who I was. Why would it matter anyway?

   “Y-Yeah.” I said, looking back at him, hiding the disgust of how much he resembled someone else. They were subtle similarities, ones that you wouldn’t notice much at first glance, but to me, it was obvious they were of kin. “It’ll be done tomorrow”

   “No good,” The man shook his head. “Storm’s coming in tonight and I live a few towns over . . . I need it done today . . . Unless you want me to take my business elsewhere.”

   Yes, yes I do. I thought but eventually just sighed, nodding at him like the coward I was. I stabbed myself with the guilt of betrayal as I murmured quietly. “Yes, sir.”

   Relief seeped into me as the man left the store and went to the bar next door. “You okay, man?” Taec asked and I suddenly felt his presence next to me, looking at him as he glanced curiously outside to see what I was looking at.

   “You have no idea how much I hate that man right there.”

   Taecyeon’s face fell with a silent understanding. “Was that . . . ?”

   All I could do was nod as I muttered a quiet apology to the, not that it would ever reach its intended ears, before going to pull the drunkard’s truck around to the back.

It was late in the afternoon, the sun was already setting in the darkened sky, by the time I got back to the house. Back to Junho and his warming smile. I walked through the door to find him waiting at the bottom of the stairs for me, like he did on the days that he didn’t want to come to the shop with me, which, over the weeks, were becoming more frequent. I guessed there was only so much interest a person could take in sitting in a small store all day.

   I wondered what he did in the house, all alone, when I was gone.

   Sometimes I would come home to find furniture moved around, or the remnants of some art project he had done left on the kitchen table. His bedroom that was recently empty, was now full of little things, objects that he’d either found in the woods or made himself. Leaves tied to strings hung from the ceiling, I’d showed him how to make paper snowflakes and it was safe to say that he went a little overboard, covering almost every spot of his windows with them. More than anything, he had a love for rocks and seashells, so we’d often have to drive to the beach and walk along the sand until he couldn’t carry any more.

   Junho looked me over, seeing past the grime that covered my face and clothes and seeing the true me that was hidden under the ragged appearance. He frowned instantly at the look on my face. “Something bothers you.”

   I nodded and he came over and helped me pull my dirty jumper off.

   “There are leftovers heating in the oven.” He said quietly, smoothing his hands over my shoulders but he tension wouldn’t leave. “Why are you bothered?”

   When he looked at me with those burning eyes, begging for an answer, I sighed. “You wouldn’t understand.” He seemed to dislike this answer, straightening himself up and holding his chin up as if he was a child trying not to throw a tantrum.

   “I would if you explained it.” He said as he turned around and went to the kitchen.

   The thing is, I knew he was right.

I was back in the shop, the garage door was open and tiny slushy snowflakes fell down across the parking lot and disappeared once they hit the ground. The old radio played some song I could barely hear over the machine running next to me and I found myself day dreaming once again. I was doing that a lot, since the day that dreadful old man came into the shop and brought with him a hurricane of bitter feelings that had successfully destroyed what little peace I had built for myself. These momentary lapses of my thought patterns crossed together and mixed into a blur that often left me just staring like some blind, deaf and dumb creature, into the nothingness that I longed to think of. My emotions were chaos and I couldn’t figure out why, but it had me wishing to dream of nothing; to feel nothing.

   Nothing is what kept my mind away from the memories.

   It was as if kismet touched me, right then, as I looked up to see a familiar figure trekking down the wet road, hugging himself close as if that would keep him at least a little warm. My feet moved before I could even frown, and I ran towards Junho, into the cold.

   He looked up at me with a soft glimmer, and despite the redness of his ice touched cheeks and dark purple lips, he smiled that same smile he always did when he greeted me, whispering in a huff of shivering breath. “H-Hi Khunnie.” I wrapped my arms around him, fear enveloping me when I felt how cold his body was through my clothes.

   “Junho,” I picked him up and carried him into the shop quickly, before anyone could really see him. He was wearing his pajamas and house slippers, and had the blanket I’d put on his bed wrapped around him in place of a winter jacket. Not bothering with the idea of gloves or a hat at all. “Jesus, Junho what the hell are you doing here?! Did you walk all the way here?!”

   He frowned at my tone and looked down and I was almost surprised at his reaction to my words. I had gotten so used to his usually stoic and relaxed demeanor that it started freaking me out when he slowly started displaying more and more emotions. “I wanted to show you.” Junho looked down, and only then did I notice the small bundle he had in his arms, it looked like a ball of towels and blankets, but when he lifted it up, I could clearly see what he was showing me.

   A tiny little kitten head popped up from the bunch of cloth, dark grey and fuzzy.

   Junho bit his lip and then held the kitten closer when it tried to crawl out of the protective bundle. “Where’d you get it, Junho?” I asked skeptically, reaching out to let the kitten sniff my index finger and then smiling a little, gently brushing behind its ear.

   “I heard sounds from under the porch . . .” Junho smiled and then looked down sadly. “It was wondering around, lost and alone . . . like me.” I felt the need to correct him, but he looked back at me before my lips parted and the look in his eyes halted my ability to speak. “Can I keep it?”

   I sighed, nodding and receiving his brightest smile so far. “Let’s get you back to the house and get you a warm bath.” I said when I noticed him still shivering under the blanket that hung on his shoulders. He nodded and pulled the blanket closer around him, hugging the kitten and following me to my truck.