Junho stood by my side, curiously observing my every move as I picked up random glass ornaments and hung them on the branches of the pine tree that was now taking up a great deal of space in the living room. I still hadn’t quite gotten used to the way Junho watched everything I did intently, but as I concentrated on tying the soft ribbon around a sprig, he picked up an ornament and mimicked my actions to help. “What is the purpose of embellishing a tree in such a way?”

   “Because it’s Christmas,” I started to answer simply, but then remembered that he probably didn’t know what Christmas was. “It’s a tradition around the world . . . During the snowy season, people celebrate by decorating trees and giving gifts and stuff. Usually Taec’s mom invites me over to spend the holiday with his family.”

   Junho nodded and continued tying the ornaments to the tree with me, and once we were finished, he looked at me again. “Will you not go to Taecyeon’s house this year because of me?”

   “What? No . . . no, it’s not like that.” I shook my head and knelt down to turn on the lights, smiling at the gleam in his eyes when the tree illuminated in soft pastel colors, before standing back up and reaching for his hand. “I just thought that, maybe it would be fun to celebrate here, for once . . .”

   Junho smiled, reaching his free hand out to touch one of the sparkling ornaments with his fingertips. It was my mother’s favorite ornament, shape like an angel and colored in cold and cream. “I would like that.” He said quietly, squeezing my hand gently and then looking at me with those bright eyes that had started glimmering with the slightest shade of blue in the low light of the living room. “What else happens for Christmas?” He asked, looking over at me expectantly.

   “Well,” I wondered where to start, deciding that explaining the entire Christian religion would be a bit too much to go over, and so I just went with the cliché things that the holidays brought. “Usually, people buy presents and give them to their friends and family. And there’s lots of holiday foods that people make for parties . . . My father would always read stories by the fire, while my mom fixed us hot cocoa. We kept a jar sitting on the mantle, and all year long we would fill the jar with anonymous notes about all the things we loved about each other, so that on Christmas night, we would take turns pulling out the letters and reading them to each other.” My throat felt constricted, thinking about those times that were now only distant memories. The sound of my mother’s soft humming from the kitchen and the crackling of the fireplace while my siblings and I passed around presents to each other.

   And then my brother died, along with many traditions and the house never quite felt as warm as it used to. Eventually, my sisters grew up, one married and the other left the country to study abroad, my parents passed on and I was the only one left.

   “I think I understand.” Junho’s soft voice brought me back to the present. “Christmas means family . . . family means those you don’t want to live without. It’s very beautiful.” I couldn’t help myself, I leaned over and kissed his lips as the words barely left his mouth.

   I didn’t have the strength to deal with the truth just yet, so instead, I relished the fact that, at least for now, I had this boy in my arms. For now, I felt him want me, I felt him need me. For now, I wasn’t alone.

The house was filled with sounds, so much that it was almost overwhelming. In the kitchen, Chansung was busy showing Junho how to decorate cookies, while Taecyeon sat in front of the fireplace with Seulong, the two of them having a heated debate over which of their favorite manga characters would win in a fight. Jinwoon was sitting on the stairs with a guitar, playing songs for the guys that had a poker game going at the coffee table by the couch. I watched everything unfold with a cup of soju in my hand, taking in the feeling of peace that the busy house brought to me.

   It was Junho that convinced me to invite everyone over for the holiday dinner. I didn’t think anyone would show up, but just after mid-day, my toothy co-worker came barging in the door with a pot of his mother’s kimchi stew, claiming that this Christmas was going to be the most epic event of the century.

   Walking into the kitchen, I peeked in and Junho immediately looked up at me from where he stood by the counter, smiling as he covered a cookie in bright red frosting. “Khunnie, look!” I walked over to him and my eyes widened at the several plates of cookies and covered the countertop, all decorated in reds and greens and various kinds of sprinkles.

   “That is . . . an astronomical amount of cookies.” I noted aloud, patting Junho’s head. “They look good.”

   “Chansung keeps eating the frosting so I made him finish baking the cookies.” He said with a reprimanding tone.

   The taller male across the room rolled his eyes as he took a new tray of cookies out the oven. “It only happened twice!” Chansung tried to defend himself, he tried. “. . . Maybe three times.”

   “Shun the cookie thief!” Taec’s voice called out from the living room and practically the entire house burst out laughing.

   I left the kitchen with a huge smile on my lips, heading upstairs when a knock on the door had me backtracking to answer it.

   When I opened the door, I was quite stunned at the two people standing in the cold and walking in immediately. “Jeez, it’s in’ cold as balls out here.” MinJun kicked off his boots and hugged me tight, looking around the house with a pensive gaze before yanking the bottle of champagne out of Wooyoung’s hands and shoving it at me. “We brought this for the party.” He smiled at the look of bewilderment on my face as he stepped past and Wooyoung followed in with his usual quiet ‘hello’ and dorky smile.

   By the time I closed the front door, a loud gasp could be heard along with a loud yell that, without a doubt, came from my large goofball of a best friend. “Junjunbear!” Taecyeon ran up and with enthusiasm, and just like old times, the giant picked MinJun up and twirled him around while the elder man complained and hit his shoulders in embarrassment. “I can’t believe it’s really you! Santa does exist!”

   Wooyoung leaned over to me with a questioning stare at the scene before us. “Is that Taecyeon?”

   I nodded. “Yup. That’s him, alright.”

   When Taec had finally listening to MinJun’s pleads to be ‘unhanded at once’, everyone else took their turns coming up and greeting the man who hadn’t been around in years.

   “Khun didn’t tell us you were coming.” Seulong said as he gave MinJun a quick hug.

   “Actually, Junho’s the one who called us,” MinJun said with a soft grin. “So we decided to surprise him.”

   Seulong nodded, shooting a glance in my direction before his gaze fell upon Wooyoung. “And this is?”

   Finally, Wooyoung stepped into the living room, having taken off his coat and gloves, bowing to the room and then brushing the melting snowflakes from his hair. “Hello everyone, I’m MinJun’s fiancé . . . my name is Wooyoung.”

   The silence that came across the house was heart pounding. I felt the anxiety washing over me slowly, like some kind of unforgiving corruption that I had no power to stop as several sets of eyes were on me instantly. But the only eyes that mattered, were Junho’s, who was now walking towards us with a bright smile as he hugged both Wooyoug and then MinJun. “Thank you for coming today, I hope the weather didn’t make the drive stressful for you both.”

   MinJun shook his head as he looked Junho over, almost as if he was protective. “It was nothing, let’s get the table ready for dinner, I’m hungry!”

   I watched Junho pull MinJun into the kitchen as the two of them excitedly started talking and felt a strange relief as everything returned to the previous clatter instantly. I felt someone staring at me and looked up at Taecyeon, who had taken his previous seat in front of the Christmas tree, and mouthed the words ‘you okay?’ at me.

   With a nod, I nudged Wooyoung’s arm as the slender male took in his surroundings, looking at the house with what appeared to be a mixture of curiosity and doubt. “Let’s pop open this bottle.”

   The man smiled, following me to the kitchen.

   A little while later, everyone was seated around the large table that was covered in various dishes from everyone’s homes, many drinks and pairs of chopsticks. Everyone was eating and talking across the table, laughing and sharing stories about what was new in their lives, along with elaborated stories about high school lives and many things that happened in the past. For the first time in years, it felt like there was true happiness filling this house, and it was all thanks to Junho.

   As if he was reading my thoughts, Junho stood up beside me and tapped on a glass with one of his chopsticks, quieting the table and reaching under his chair to pull out a large mason jar. “I’m so happy that you all have come to enjoy this evening with us,” Junho announced to the table, and my eyes fixated on the jar in his hands that was half full of little folded notes in various colors of paper. “As you know, I’ve asked everyone here to write a note or two . . . or several – about the different things you love about the people here, because what’s more important than love and friendship, right?”

   Junho paused to look at me for a moment, giving me an encouraging smile before looking back to the table of listeners. “So now, I’d like for us to take turns reading out our love-notes to each other . . . Would anyone like to start?”

   I was surprised to see that it was Seulong who raised his hand first, and Junho passed the jar to him. He reached inside and pulled out one of the folded notes, opening it and reading out loud so that everyone could hear. “Jaebeom, though you might be the shortest man in the country, you’re an outstanding big brother. Thanks for always looking out for my Chanana, and for allowing me to date your lil’ bro.” Seulong rolled his eyes and looked at Taecyeon. “You’re such a cheeseball!”

   Before Taecyeon could say anything, Jaebeom leaned over the table and yelled to the giant at the other end. “ you, Taec! I’m not short you oversized idiot.”

   With a laugh, Seulong passed the jar to the person next to him, and MinJun reached in happily, unfolding the paper in his hands and reading the next note. “You’ve always been there for me, through the dark nights and long days, and I can’t imagine a life without you in it, Ok Taecyeon. I love everything about you, from your loud and annoying voice to your toothy grin. I love how you complete me, and make me see how beautiful the world is.” MinJun smiled at the words on the paper, looking at Taecyeon, who was sitting there with red ears and that same toothy grin that was mentioned in the note. “This was so obviously Chansung . . . You two really are perfect for each other.” The elder man said to the couple that were seated next to me.

   Chansung merely blushed at the compliment while Taec grinned and hugged his boyfriend’s waist. “He’s all mine and I love how cheesy we are together~” The giant said as he leaned down to kiss Chansung’s lips, resulting in a chorus of ‘awws’ from around the table, coupled with one or two exaggerated sighs of disgust.

   The table took turns reading notes to each other, many of them inspired laughter, and several were emotional enough to form tears. We listened to dorky jokes about each other, love confessions, promises of everlasting friendships and immense happiness. Junho sat beside me the whole time, and I watched the table of my friends with a sweet nostalgia as I realized that, though we had grown up to lead different lives, some of us moved away and nothing really happened quite as planned, we had retained our friendship. And that was utterly beautiful.

   Before long, it was my turn to reach into the jar, there was only one left and I grabbed it, unfolding the paper and blinking in surprise to see that it was a note about me. My eyes welled up as they scanned over the first line, and I cleared my throat to read it aloud. “No one can love the way Nichkhun loves.” My eyes darted up to MinJun, who sat across from me with a small smile lingering on his catlike face. I wanted to pretend that the note was finished, but MinJun simply nodded his head for me to continue, and I took deep breath to finish reading the elegant handwriting on the paper.

   “No matter the sacrifice, he never fails to do everything in his power to make the people he cares about happy. He asks for little, and expects nothing in return for this love. He never turns a blind eye to someone in need. His heart has so much love that he often gets hurt easily, but that doesn’t stop him from loving. He doesn’t believe that he is deserving, but he is. He is superior, but humble. He’s helped everyone at this table, and none could deny it. He’s given us love, friendship, asylum, peace of mind. He is the gravity that has held us together, and pulls us back when we drift away . . .”

   I refolded the note as I finished reading it, half expecting to hear one of the guys comment on how ‘queer’ that speech was, but instead was met with applause. It was Chansung who stood to speak next. “To Khunnie,” The second youngest of us toasted, in my honor. “May he always be there to love us, and may we be able to return the favor.” Chansung raised his glass and the rest of the table followed suit, cheering my name and forcing my cheeks to turn a darker red than I wanted any of them to see.

   Junho tugged at my hand, and I looked over at him, smiling at the look of ardor in his eyes. “I love you.” I said to him under the sound of the table returning to their conversations, and watched his passionate eyes gleam with excitement.

   “I love you, too.” He said back, and in that moment, I felt I had finally found everything I was looking for.

Hey there lovelies!
It's been a while since I updated this story, I know (a full year and a half! I hadn't realized it)
I am sorry about that, but I've seemed to be getting a lot of my writing groove back
I hope you all enjoyed this chapter, and please look forward to the remaining chapters
I promise not to keep you waiting forever this time!